ali 🫧 @strawberryfanaticccc - Tumblr Blog

nixscriptum

wilmvandrr

happy birthday ilya rozanov ♥️

probuccalfat

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

sunchildsatoru

ilyapricot

Forever thinking about “Boston is nice too?” and wanting to throw up about it. Just sitting on the floor of a gym across from the stranger who would be the Shane of his existence like.

I am so far away from home. I am so afraid but I cannot show it. I’m going to be all on my own out there and people are not kind to me. I’ve always been alone, but never this kind of alone before. I don’t really know you, but you seemed kind. And earnest. You would not lie to me. Is it safe? Will I be happy there and safe? Boston is nice too?

Ougghhhhgg. My brave little bug I’mgping to be sick

thombalan

zoesupreme

I have started following the journey of a German soccer fan in the US for the world cup

zoesupreme

@laeffy the euros have found buc-ee's

zoesupreme

tinylilhollander

I know that Heated Rivalry is one of those pieces of media where COVID never happens but what if it did? Imagine the lockdown shenanigans.

Shane and Ilya are obviously hunkering down at the cottage together. There's no hockey, but they don't know for how long, so they're still training all the time. They're doing interviews and having to make it look like they're in completely different places. Ilya has to keep being reminded that he's supposed to still be back in Ottawa.

Ilya's teammates keep asking if they can be in a lockdown bubble together and he's gotta be like "No, can't do that. I'm not taking any chances." But now they're worried because he hasn't seen or been around another human being in months and they've noticed that even before lockdown he made more jokes about killing himself than the average person, so they're stressed to their eyeballs about his mental health.

Meanwhile Ilya's living the kind of domestic fantasy with his man that he didn't think they were going to get until retirement. For the first time ever most days he can truly pretend that he and Shane are the only people in the world. Sometimes David and Yuna come over for dinner because they are also isolating at their cottage. But most of the time it's just endless hours of just the two of them and neither of them could be happier. Their biggest decision every day is when and where to fuck. Some people are getting into sourdough – Shane and Ilya have committed to learning one new sexual position every day.

I just think that lockdown would have been the ideal codependent situation for Hollanov.

enki2

rainbow-femme

“Shane fuck Shane help we fucked up, we lost Ilya, I swear he was here one second ago and now-“

“Haas, where are you right now?”

“The club by the hotel.”

“And he’s not in the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Not on the roof?”

“No.”

“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”

“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”

“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”

“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”

“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”

“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”

“Did anyone bring up sushi?”

“He didn’t say he wanted-“

“Just answer the question.”

“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“

“He’s at the pier.”

“What?”

“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”

“… How do you know that?”

“Do you have any ideas how many times I have gotten this exact phone call? He’s easier to catch if you bait him with mozzarella sticks but make sure he knows he only gets them if he comes quietly. If you let him negotiate he will take the sticks and run. Cliff always fell for that.”

the-cheshire-cat-grin

Lil nas x coming back during pride month to tell us hes been taking care of his physical and mental health, finishing rehab and getting treatment for bipolar disorder, and telling us that he is excited to not only make new music but also just to live his life???? And during mens mental health awareness month????? Oh i missed him bad

bbc-merlin-has-corrupted-me

animentality

horse-on-a-porch

im obsessed with the idea of one of Hayden's kids get diagnosed with autism and he's like "ok ok I got this. I'm gonna be the best dad" and immediately calls Shane "like hey what helps with autistic kids?" And Shane's like "??¿¿" And Hayden's like "no obviously you have a lot of experience with autism so-" and Shane's immediately mad. "JUST BECAUSE HES RUSSIAN DOESN'T MEAN HES AUTISTIC." and Hayden has to take a minute to process that because he's still channeling Good Dad energy. "Shane..my best friend...I'm talking about you because you have autism. Did you... Did you not know??"

Shane hangs up. Calls out to his husband. "Babe do I have autism?"

"Da."

"Fuck."

Shane calls Hayden back. "So I have autism."

"Yeah buddy. The hyperspecific safe foods and processing issues weren't a clue? Ow! Jackie, stop it. This is how we process things!"

Anyway Hayden orders multiple weighted blankets and keeps sending Shane articles to the point where Shane politely asks him to stop and so he starts sending them to Ilya who's like "....this is not news to me..." But they're united in their goal of getting Shane to accommodate his needs.

(I'm actually more obsessed with Hayden never having that conversation but quietly noticing autistic things and supporting it but lets be real that man has zero chill like negative numbers)