Flash Far Thirteen

Hey, I'm Erin. I like a lot of things and care about a lot of stuff so... yeah.

[laora-ryn]

Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

[ilikethemwings]

[sliversoakley4]

[memewhore]

[emperor-ing-deactivated20191108]

“Won’t” is the boldest fucking contraction like it really Did That. Just went for it, no shame.

[emperor-ing-deactivated20191108]

Will Not took one look at Don’t and thought yeah baby need me some of that

[blasster]

Do you want us to say Wiln’t

[emperor-ing-deactivated20191108]

no mr bond i expect you to die

[sadclowncentral]

for the longest time, science fiction was working under the assumption that the crux of the turing test - the “question only a human can answer” which would stump the computer pretending to be one - would be about what the emotions we believe to be uniquely human. what is love? what does it mean to be a mother? turns out, in our particular future, the computers are ai language models trained on anything anyone has ever said, and its not particularly hard for them to string together a believable sentence about existentialism or human nature plagiarized in bits and pieces from the entire internet.

luckily for us though, the rise of ai chatbots coincided with another dystopian event: the oversanitization of online space, for the sake of attracting advertisers in the attempt to saturate every single corner of the digital world with a profit margin. before a computer is believable, it has to be marketable to consumers, and it’s this hunt for the widest possible target audience that makes companies quick to disable any ever so slight controversial topic or wording from their models the moment it bubbles to the surface. in our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a human can answer are not about fear of death or affection. instead, it is those that would look bad in a pr teams powerpoint.

if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb?

[sadclowncentral]

[cundtcake]

translation: “My sheep! [bah! bah!] You are my life. [bah! bah!] Walk behind me…[bah! bah!] Sing (after me).”

[boomerang-always-comes-back]

This is too adorable

[seaps]

don't ever put them in a situation

[turing-tested]

breaking bad ratatouille

[turing-tested]

"I don't know how to cook meth....but you do" but also idk how a rat could control walter white bc he's bald

[finalhorsegirl]

obsessed with this stupid shirt i found at goodwill the other day

[galgorithm-deactivated20260512]

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

"Because I do it with a small boat, I am called a pirate and a thief. You, with a whole navy, molest the world and are called an emperor."

-St Augustine, on Alexander the Great

"What even is a war? Like isn't it illegal to kill people?"

-This girl

[callmebliss-got-swamped]

They are both right

[toonlink1210]

Pick a Defunctland Moment

A POWERFUL r a t. Named CHARLES ENTERTAINMENT CHEESE.

The reveal that ShapeLand is actually Animal Kingdom

A lot of you guys were being gay in the Garfield ride

Michael Eisner

You’ve been listening to Alex Lasarenko’s music this entire time

“Into the majesty of the deep, blue…BLINDING SUNLIGHT.”

Homosexual Fast Dancing

Voting ended onFeb 15, 2023

[mclennonyaoi]

“miss piggy could do better than kermit” and you know what? she probably could! miss piggy is a catch. she’s a businesswoman, supermodel, actor, singer, she knows fucking karate. she’s extraordinarily by all counts. anyone would be happy to have her. but you know what. kermit makes her happy. kermit plays straight man to all of her hilarious endevours. kermit loves her. and she loves kermit. she doesn’t WANT better. she wants KERMIT.

[mclennonyaoi]

we need to respect a beautiful womans choice to have the most wonderful cringefail husband in the world. ok.

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[foulserpent]

you ever just…. fall into a burning ring of fire? and go down, down, down as the flames get higher? and like it burns burns burns etc. the ring of fire lol

[parkchanwoohoo]

“In 1404, King Taejong fell from his horse during a hunting expedition. Embarrassed, looking to his left and right, he commanded, “Do not let the historian find out about this.” To his disappointment, the historian accompanying the hunting party included these words in the annals, in addition to a description of the king’s fall.“

LMFAOOOOOO rip to that guy

[shitacademicswrite]

i thought maybe this was fake, but there’s even a citation!

Taejong Sillok Book 7. 5th year of King Taejong’s Reign (1404), February 8.

[delphinidin4]

Happy 618th anniversary of the day King Taejong fell from his horse!

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Apparently the recorders were really intense about this. We have a record of King Taejong complaining about a recorder who followed him on a hunt in disguise and another who eavesdropped on him behind a screen. No one was allowed to see the records, even the king (one king did and killed five men based on what was written there, after which they took greater care to ensure it would never happen again), and changing the content or disclosing it was a capital punishment. Even when there were rival political factions trying to influence the writers, they wrote down what was a revision and what wasn’t and kept an original version with no revisions in it.

They also made sure to back up their data. They made four copies of it, then when three copies were lost in the Imrim Wars they decided to make five more copies just in case. One copy was destroyed in a rebellion, another was partially damaged in an invasion, and Japan stole one copy during their occupation and moved it to Tokyo University, where it was mostly destroyed in the Kanto Earthquake (47 books remained and were returned to South Korea in 2006). Now the whole thing is digitized, free on the internet, and translated into modern Korean for all to see.

It took centuries of meticulous recorders, justifiably paranoid copiers, absolutely determined historians, and painstaking infrastructure for this joke to be possible. Happy 618th anniversary to the day King Taejong fell from his horse.

[cognitohazardous]

me: hmm time to google something

google every time: can i PLEASE have your location PLEASE 🥺🥺🥺 I need to know where you live so BAD 😫😫😫😫 Where do you fucking from?????? 😩😩😩😩😩😩

[tenorgender]

ˈsɑri, bʌt wi kənˈvɜrtɪd jʊər ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd ˈɪntu aɪ-pi-eɪ. jæ, ði ˌɪntərˈnæʃənəl fəˈnɛtɪk ˈælfəˌbɛt. ɪnˈstɛd ʌv ˈbiɪŋ meɪd ʌv wɜrdz naʊ hiz ə ˈstændərˌdaɪzd ˌrɛprəzɛnˈteɪʃən ʌv spiʧ saʊndz ɪn ˈrɪtən fɔrm. jæ, ˈprɪti mʌʧ ˈɛniˌwʌn ˈspikɪŋ ˈɛni ˈlæŋɡwəʤ kʊd ˈfɪɡjər aʊt haʊ tu seɪ hɪm. ˈsɑri

[thou-art-of-the-stars]

[Text description: A post using the International Phonetic Alphabet that reads: “Sorry, but we converted your boyfriend into IPA, the International Phonetic Alphabet. Instead of being made of words now he is a standarised representation of speech sounds in written form. Yeah, pretty much anyone speaking any language could figure out how to say him. Sorry.” End description]