REDAMANCY

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly coloured than the day.  

[bundibird]

"It wasnt the real mona lisa bc the real mona lisa was painted on wood and thats clearly canvass" versus "It was the real Mona Lisa, just suspend your disbelief for a second" --- fam. Both options are good. Both options are great.

Either it was the real mona lisa, in which case, Miles Bron is a murdering idea-stealing phony who will be forever known as the guy who destroyed THEE mona lisa, and there is absolutely no coming back from that ----

OR, it was a fake, bc the museum was like "lmfao this joker thinks we'd loan him the ACTUAL mona lisa? Ahahahahaha" in which case, there's all the initial press coverage of the explosion and the shitty fuel and the murders and then the revelation that THEE MONA LISA was destroyed on Miles Bron's watch, and all of that plays out across the media, and THEN!!! the Lourve gets to step forward saying "dont worrry guys. We never gave him the real painting. We didn't trust him with it. We gave him a fake and he never noticed," which the media would have a FIELD DAY with, because it's like the resurrection of Jesus only with a painting, instead of a person, and also, the whole thing is funny as FUCK, bc they gave him a fake and he didnt notice, and also-also, clearly the Lourve was ahead of the curve when it came to recognising Miles' stupidity, and it'll stay in the media for WEEKS, that Miles was conned by the lourve and clearly they were right to trick him because LOOK WHAT HAPPENED to the fake Mona lisa, PLUS of course all the rest of the stuff like the 2 murders and the hydrogen fuel and the idea theft and etc.

Like?? There's no losing here. Both options are great. If it was real, then he'll never live it down, and if it was fake, he'll never live it down. Either way: fantastic

[fieldbears]

Please do not forget Option C!

Miles Bron was never in contact with the Louvre.

"France needed some money"? What the hell is that? And the ridiculous security system installed in his home? Miles was scammed.

They rented him a "Mona Lisa" on canvas, too big as well I'm pretty sure, and insisted on coming in and installing a crazy fucking thing in his home. What other artworks did they swap out with fakes while installing their fake? How much of his security system did they sabotage/tap into while they were there? What better mark for spearfishing than an uneducated moron with an island full of valuables that probably aren't even on the books?

[filmnoirsbian]

My dad has a massive vegetable garden and it is his life. Whenever I ask how things are going, he tells me about the garden. Periodically he will text me a picture of the things he's harvested and ask when I'm coming to pick them up. And for a while, the biggest bit of garden gossip has been his nemesis, the gopher. This gopher was consistently ruining his day by pilfering the best of everything just before my dad could harvest it. Anytime I talked to him, all he had to tell me about was "that damned gopher." He dreamt about killing the gopher, his truest enemy. He tried to train the dog to hunt the gopher, but the dog is a pacifist. He led some of the barn cats to the holes, but the barn cats have unionized and refused his offered rate. He then laid no-kill traps (can't risk having poison near the crops) with eventual gophercide in mind, but then suddenly he was faced with a cute and terrified animal and didn't have the heart. He released it. "He was so scared, he'll never come back." The gopher was back the next day, with a vengeance. That was some weeks ago. Today, my dad sent me pictures of his garden, and I saw a squash gently laid by the gopher's hole, like a package left on the doorstep. I said "Dad, what's that squash doing there by the gopher hole?" He said "Oh, he likes squash best." In an effort to appease the gopher, my father now gives him a little squash everyday, like leaving an offering for a garden spirit. This apparently works well as a compromise; the gopher has stopped stealing, content to have his meals delivered to his door.

[anexperimentallife]

[tayefeth]

God: Teenagers, as part of their growing independence and ability to take care of themselves, will tend to be night owls, allowing parents to care for younger children in the morning.

Humans: So you're saying that teenagers are lazy and we need to beat them to make them responsible adults.

[xphilosoraptorx]

God: No, this is a good thing! Now you have someone to watch over your tribes and homes while the rest of you sleep!

Modern society: If you can't operate during the day like everyone else, you're useless to us.

[onceuponacupoftea]

People in different life stages will tend to have different circadian rhythms

This will mean that in small communities living close together, peer cohorts will have a level of privacy and separation from the group as a whole, a time to themselves as it were

Modern parents: not on my watch! And not when I’m asleep, either!

[maculategiraffe]

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

[synthetic-blanket-hairs-deactiv]

this comment passes peer review

[blog-of-horribleness]

[variationincreation]

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

I feel like a dumbass, I am enlightened, and if I’m ever physically capable of sewing again, I am so doing this.

(use Neodymium magnets, guys. Might have to fight to pull them off the scissors afterwards but they won’t fall off while you’re cutting)

[oldbookist]

I was working on a history paper today and found a book from 1826 that seemed promising (though dull) for my topic, on an English Catholic family’s experience moving to France.

And it ended up not really being suitable for my purposes, as it goes. But part of the book is actually devoted to Kenelm, the author’s oldest son…and man, his dad loved him.

Kenelm seems to have had a fairly typical upbringing for a young English gentleman, although he is a bit slow to read. At twelve he’s sent to board at Stoneyhurst College—often the big step towards independence in a boy’s life, as he’ll most likely only see his parents sporadically from now on, and then leave for university.

When he’s sixteen, however, his father moves the whole family to France, so Kenelm gets pulled out of school to be with them again. Shortly after the move, his dad notices that he seems depressed. Kenelm confides in him that he’s been suffering from “scruples” for the last eighteen months—most likely what we’d now call an anxiety disorder.

And his dad is pissed—at the school, because apparently Kenelm had been seeking help there and received none, despite obviously struggling with mental health issues. So his dad takes it seriously. He sets him up to be counseled by a priest—there were no therapists back then—and doesn’t send him away to be boarded again, instead teaching him at home himself.

And his mental health does improve. His dad describes him as well-liked, gentle, pious, kind and eager to please others; at twenty he’s thinking about a career in diplomacy or going into the military—which his dad thinks he is not particularly suited for, considering his favorite pastimes are drawing and reading. He’s excited about his family’s upcoming move to Italy, and he’s been busy learning Italian and teaching it to his siblings.

Henry Kenelm Beste dies of typhus at twenty years, four months, and twenty-five days. That’s how his dad records it. That’s why his dad is telling this story. It’s not an extraordinary story—Kenelm’s story struck me because he sounds so…ordinary, like so many kids today. And he was so, so loved. His dad tried hard to help him compassionately with his mental health at a time where our current knowledge and support systems didn’t exist. You can feel how badly he wanted his son to be remembered and loved, to impress how dearly beloved he was to the people who knew him in life.

I hope he’d be glad to know someone is still thinking of Kenelm over 200 years later.

Anyway, that’s why I’m crying today.

[collector73-deactivated20230303]

[inkribbon796]

I . . . I need a moment.

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

I love this actually

[mothermishy]

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

[abracazabka]

[feralrookie]

OH MY GOD I NEEDED THIS

[prismatic-bell]

For the chronically anxious and/or otherwise mentally ill:

This is not a screamer, jumpscare, or any other kind of horror link I don’t know the name of. It will not cause you to question reality and as far as I’m aware, there is no reason it should cause any kind of hallucinations or psychosis. I don’t want to spoil the surprise because it’s DELIGHTFUL but I am happy to tell you it’s very sweet and gentle and also great lowkey stress relief. This is a cinnamon roll link appropriate for all ages (yes, all the way down to babies) and you will enjoy it if you click it. ❤️

[dunsparce]

not even a millisecond later 

[the2ndtolast]

This cat, the moment that bitch has 8 legs:

[sandersstudies]

So excited to work as a scare actor for the second year in a row

[sandersstudies]

Last year I was a zombie and chased people around the trail.

This year I’m walking backwards along the trail until I meet a group, saying “hey my friends ran on ahead, can I walk with you?” And then getting kidnapped.

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

About 10 years ago my sister attended a zombie survival paintball experience in an abandoned derelict shopping centre

There was a nervous guy at the meeting point who explained that his friends got food poisoning from dinner last night, but this was the whole point of the trip and he didn't want to hang about in a hotel room with sick people, but he was considering just going back home

The entire group immediately took him under their wing and adopted him into their friends and inside jokes and sharing snacks

He was dragged off and eaten by zombies in the first 15 minutes, complete with blood packs, and returned in the final room as a sort of final boss

10/10 long lasting emotional scarring

[insomniac-arrest]

finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

[insomniac-arrest]

humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 

[what-even-is-thiss]

Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

Periods

Bad backs

Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned

Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems

Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less

Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now

Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing

[durzio]

•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.

[larariumluparum]

truer words

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

[shadsasaur]

my husband, an engineer, adds

[gay-curator]

Husband (2016)

Nathan Brad Hall

Oil on stretched linen (40 x 30 in.)

Tablets and computer monitors can’t replace seeing a painting in person. As good as the images are — imagine seeing this in it’s true scale. Also, the light and color. Take a close look at the pillow, along the left side of the subject’s face.

[beemovieerotica]

omg so we have 1 seeing dog and 1 blind dog and whenever there's a toy they both want, the seeing dog takes it and just...stands very still. immobile. she KNOWS he will try to wrestle it from her but she has figured out that if she does not squeak it, then he will not find it. leading to this.

"god....grant me the strength to not squeak the squeaky toy"

[memewhore]

[o-kurwa]

[prokopetz]

The thing that messes me up about the whole “the butler did it” trope is that we literally have no idea where it comes from.

The earliest known piece of detective fiction in which the butler, in fact, did it? Published in 1930.

The earliest known article calling out “the butler did it” as an egregious cliché in detective fiction? Published in 1928.

Obviously there must have been earlier examples of detective fiction in which the butler did it, but none of them have survived to the present day, leaving us in this bizarre situation where the earliest known callout post about the trope pre-dates its earliest known actual use by a full two years.

[schmergo]

The butler hid the evidence