Rafe and “i’m not worthy of anybody’s love.” “that’s not true, you’re worthy of mine.” followed by the lover breaking eye-contact… + a love confession
troubled waters
pairing: rafe cameron x reader
wc: 1.8k
warning(s): a lil angsty but ends in fluff
summary: in which rafe comes knocking at your door, in need of a friend, but you are ready to give him a hell of a lot more than that.
a/n: YESS THIS SCREAMS RAFE THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!! 🤍
rafe masterlist
Thunder shook your lonely house, amongst the lightning striking in quick and bright flashes outside but visible through the thin curtains. Curled up in a fuzzy blanket in your bedroom, many throw pillows nearly drowned you in them to tune out the noises of nature. So many throw pillows in fact that your TV show was playing at an alarmingly high volume. You could’ve sworn your doorbell went off, causing you to rewind your show 10 seconds to see if that’s where the sound was coming from.
Ok, definitely the doorbell, you concluded as it went off for a second time while the show was paused. Your parents weren’t set to return home from their trip for another week. And if anything, their postponed arrival was because of the storm. Nobody in their right mind would be traveling in this weather.
Tiptoeing down the stairs, you made your way to the front door slowly. Not without grabbing a large knife from the kitchen first, just to be safe. The porch light had been turned off because you weren’t expecting anybody, but the lightning and the street light further away illuminated the shadowy figure standing behind the stained glass door. Whoever they were, they should be thankful you had a fairly large porch that was the only thing keeping them from getting drenched in the pouring rain. In one swing, the front door flew open and left you facing your uninvited guest.
“Rafe?” You quizzed, putting the knife behind your back now that you’d identified the person. Stepping aside, you gestured for him to come inside before shutting and locking the door. “What are you doing here? And driving in this weather? Are you insane?”
A heavy sigh fell from his lips, pulling down the hood of his hoodie for you to get a better look at him. “I should’ve called. I’m sorry.” His line of vision scattered the floor. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
Peering up at him, you finally caught sight of his exhausted expression and puffy eyes. You frowned, reaching for him before remembering the knife in one of your hands that made him slightly jump upon seeing it. “What the hell? Why do you have that?”
“Oh, my bad.” You retraced your steps back to the kitchen and put the knife back in its place. “I wasn’t really expecting company at this hour.”
“Right.” He clicked his tongue in response, hands in his pockets. “Again, I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have just dropped in like this. I can go if you want.”
“No!” You debated a little too quickly. “I-I’m, uhm.. I’m glad you came, actually. I didn’t wanna be alone anyways.” You took his hand in yours, knife-free this time, and led him up to your room. “So don’t worry about it. You know my door’s always open for you.”
Rafe’s lips pursed tightly into the best smile he could give at your acceptance. Despite his attempt to look somewhat happy, the sorrow dripping off of him was evident.
To you, at least. Normally you could read Rafe like the back of your hand, and tonight was no different. Figuring out how to get through to him was the tricky part.
The both of you were leaning back on your large array of pillows, offering him a blanket to insulate his shivering body. You pressed play on your show again, shoulder to shoulder with your best friend, leaning into each other subtly.
An episode later, a wave of fatigue came over you, drawing a yawn from your lips as the end credits rolled on the screen. Now it was just you, Rafe, and the pouring rain outside. You looked over to him to see a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He blinked and let them fall as fast as they filled his eyes, mind clearly off in another world.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
Rafe only shook his head no, exhaling shakily.
The two of you sat in the quiet for a few minutes, the storm still very much alive but it wasn’t the reason for the pangs of ache in your heart.
You wanted to tell Rafe he’d be okay, and that you’d be there for him. You wanted to tell him how badly it hurts to see him in pain, how much you loved him. But when the time presents itself. This wasn’t about you, not in this moment.
“Can I ask you a question?” He hummed, telling you to go ahead. “Why did you show up here tonight? Not that I don’t want you here, but in this weather, too? Did something happen?”
“I don’t know, Y/n/n. I trust you. I already told you I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“Alright. I just need to know you’re okay, Rafe.”
“Now that I’m here, I am.” Rafe wiped his tears away, sniffling as he spoke up again, ready to confide in you. “My dad told me leave. Said he didn’t want to be stuck home with me during the storm, y’know.”
Your eyes remained fixated on him, showing him that you were listening. You held his hand in yours gently for support. “It’s probably better that way, too. When we are stuck home together it just gives him more time and reason to remind me of what a fuck up I am.”
Your eyebrows furrowed in disagreement. “Don’t say that about yourself, Rafe.” You debated, in a strong tone but also a quiet one.
“When you start hearing it enough, you believe it, Y/n. And lately I’ve been really trying— trying to do better for his approval. But nothing fucking works. I can’t stop messing up no matter what I do.” He ranted, hands running through his hair and at this point having let yours go.
Rafe threw the blanket off and stood up, his frame looming over your dresser as he banged his fist down on it in a single motion. “He’ll never love me like he loves Sarah.” An aggrieved sob escaped his lips as he looked up at himself in the mirror.
You followed him of course, moving across the bed and pulling him into your arms immediately. Rafe welcomed you, clutching your body to his and dropping his head to cry in the crook of your neck. In hopes to ease some of his pain, you caressed and curled some of his hair between your fingers.
“I’m not even worthy of his love, either.” He let out as he caught his breath. “I’m not worthy of anybody’s love.”
“That’s not true... You’re worthy of mine.” You argued, unable to stop the words from coming out of your mouth. The both of you froze, though you pulled back, holding his shoulders but eventually dropping your hands from them as the silence passed.
“What?”
Tears now pooled in your eyes, for several different reasons but all of the emotions combined became overwhelming. As much as you wanted to backtrack and erase the words from both of your memories, you couldn’t. You had to let Rafe know someone truly loves him.
“You are worthy of love, Rafe. I hate that you don’t see it.”
His blue orbs glimmered in disbelief, but optimism as they shined with new tears, for different reasons as well. “No.” He protested. “You said I’m worthy of your love.”
“Mhm.”
“So.. what does that mean?” He questioned with a hint of hope in his tone, though he didn’t want to embarrass himself by misreading anything. “You know I’m not good at reading in between the lines n’ shit.”
Reluctantly, you accepted his embrace for you now, resting your hands on his sweatshirt clad torso while his rested on your waist comfortingly. You closed your eyes as more tears slipped out, wishing you were dreaming right now. You didn’t want to face him. His rejection wouldn’t be easy at all, though unavoidable now.
“It means.. I love you, Rafe.”
His reaction wasn’t one you were able to gauge, your heartbeat hammering in your chest. “A-and I’m sorry if I just ruined our whole friendship because I’m an idiot who doesn’t think before I talk. It’s just so unfair that you have to feel unloved, Rafe. It hurts me too and I just needed you to kno-” Before you could finish, Rafe’s lips were on yours, intervening your ramble as he kissed you feverishly.
“Are you done?” He questioned once he pulled away, hands still cupping your face and caressing your damp cheeks.
“I guess so. But I- what was that?”
“I love you too, Y/n.” He confessed, giving you a genuine smile of relief and contentment for the first time all night. “Guess you’re not so good at reading between the lines either, huh. Even though I thought I just made it pretty clear for you.”
“Then maybe you should try again. I’m not sure that I’m following..” You teased, lips hovering over his before he kissed you once again, this time less sloppily but with the same passion.
Pulling away for air, your foreheads rested on one another’s, smiling like fools as the tears shed from you both were the last thing on your minds.
“I love you.” Rafe whispered, pure adoration taking over the look in his eyes.
“And I love you. Never forget it, okay? I’ll tell you everyday if I have to.”
He chuckled at your last comment, knowing there actually was truth to that. “Okay.” He pressed a featherlight kiss to your forehead in agreement. “Thank you.” He mumbled, expressing his gratitude for several of your actions.
Or not even your actions specifically, but how you made him feel. Rafe would never be able to thank you enough. “For always being here, for loving me. Even if I didn’t find out until a few minutes ago.”
“I’ve loved you for a lot longer than a few minutes, Rafe.” You chuckled against his chest at his joke.
“I know.” He reassured smoothly. “But it felt good to hear it. I didn’t know if I was ever going to.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” You conceded. “But I meant what I said. You deserve to be loved.”
His hand ran up and down your back soothingly. “I’m glad you told me. So now we can stop being idiots. Except we’re still idiots, but now we’ll just make out all the time.”
“Is this your way of asking me to be yours, Cameron?”
He scoffed, rolling his eyes in emphasis. “Seriously? I just told you I love you so why would I not-”
“I’m kidding, Rafe. Of course I want to.” You pinched his cheeks in amusement.
“I just had to make you work for it. I never thought you’d love me either.”
He laughed at your antics and somewhat strange logic, rain only tapping on your windows now. “Love was just a word to me until you gave it a definition, Y/n.”
a/n: i wrote this in a p r i l 😟 and forgot all about it. given it’s my one year writing anniversary i thought it would be fun to post another rafe work. the og being called ‘trouble in paradise’ & this one being called ‘troubled waters’ lol what a coincidence. anyways, thanks for stickin with me & my writing for a year <3
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