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@studentapplications
Well, Friday was my last day working with the student applications. However, I am now going back to help with student visa renewals, which I was doing for a month last year. There weren't quite as many strange and unusual happenings, but I did still see things like an illegal car (classes as Not My Problem) and mysterious $15000 cash deposits from "my parents, honest". Who knows, there could be some things for me to post about.
I had a dream a group of expert investigators were called in to dismantle a crime ring. Only, the investigators were actually a LARP group who thought the assignment was a roleplay.
My job was to prevent the LARPers from finding out it was for real, and to prevent law enforcement from finding out they were a LARP group.
I would watch the shit out if this movie
seconded
cybersyncing said: ok but hear me out: The Hobbit where everything is the same except Bilbo has the personality of Martin Freeman
Huge Electromagnetic Dancing Balls
Video
what.
THE ORB MIND AWAKENS
ITS A BALL PIT ELEMENTAL!
Ą̫̻̞̠̰͖̽̍̀̌͛̀N͍̞̺ͧ̊̇̉̊̌̀ͅ ̖̺̲̩͂E̶͇̟͊ͦͩ̉ͧͥ̎́X͚̟̝ͮ́ͩͥ͢͡͞Ţ̸͇͖̘̟̹̟̞ͭͯͩͤ̆͆͐́Ŕ̟̪̬̻ͪ͡A̵̠͍͎͔͓͓̠ͧ̎ͭ̀ ̖̬̹̪̜̼̣͑́̇̍͝Ĥ̹̬̥ͦ͗͋̓͝Oͩ̆ͬ̒҉̨̼̳̗͚̺̲̳́Ụ͙̭͙̺̲̇͆̂̒̑͆͑̉͟͠ͅR͖̘̦͚͎̾ͣ̆̚͡
you hear a tapping at your window at night, you’re terrified but you go and look out. a feeling of relief washes over you as you realize its just your local cryptid asking for your wifi password, they want to message their friend, but most cell companies don’t sell data plans to nonhuman beings, so they just wanna use ur wifi for a sec
Pinky out.
Student: can I apply for a different qualification from this same account?
University: yes you can!
Student: ok thanks!
Student: *makes another account and applies for the same thing as before*
Me, who now has to stuff both accounts into one number: why
Coexisting With The Fair Folk Who Have Taken Up Residence In/Around/Beneath Your University: A How-To Guide
See more of my comics here, and my art here!
Whole bunch of lore/things I couldn’t fit/everything I love about the overlap in superstition and General College Weirdness below the cut-
Keep reading
Please
Check which box you are putting your details into. AKA: Stop entering your email address in as your legal name. I don't believe you.
We have how many?
Remember: if you include specific details in your statement of purpose, make sure they are for the right university. It is very nice of you to say that we have ten of the best science universities in the world, but... we only have eight universities total. Good try though. On the other hand, I find this amusing and so am kept in a reasonably good mood. Or perhaps that is just the coffee talking?
It's not always the students
I keep seeing applications coming through our systems for qualifications that don't technically exist yet, or aren't available any more. Who the dang diddly heck keeps putting those on the site for anyone to click on? It's not fair to the students and it's giving me an eye twitch. Remember: The System is not infallible. People keep rubbing their grubby little hands all over it.
The gentleman who uploaded a document titled "HUMAN_SOUL_1" returned today, informing us that we hadn't acknowledged his application and could we please accept him already. I checked. We had. Twice. Both times were us requesting more documents, which we can't process his application without. Nice try.
Perfect
We had a PhD application today, and it was so easy to deal with. Everything was in the right place, no @ symbols in the legal name box, all documents present and clearly named, and it just... soothed my cranky over-tired soul. I hope she gets accepted, she would make a good PhD candidate. Seriously though, don't place @ symbols or similar things in the area asking for your legal name unless it's actually in your passport or whatever.
Gem of the day
Uploaded document: "IDENTITY_CRISIS.docx"
Statement of Purpose
I like reading the student statements that people send in with their applications. Some courses or faculties require them, some don’t, but it never hurts to include one. Many of them are quite lovely. One recent student talked about their goal, which was to start up a small international business in… some sort of computer tech, I think. A difficult goal, but perfectly attainable for someone who is passionate and willing to put in the effort. Having some form of motivation also works wonders in getting yourself to actually study. In the other direction, I’ve also received a lot of less useful statements, such as "I have always known that I was the chosen one to study” and “i am interesting in animal behouver” (that second one was the entire statement). My personal favourite waxed poetic about how he wished to sit on the green hillsides of New Zealand and write odes to its beauty like William Wordsworth. Bonus points for an arts major, but I think he was applying for management. Helpful hints/what you could include: Maybe what you have previously studied, and your thoughts on that study. What your relevant interests are. Why you want to study whatever you are applying for. Why you would be a good student if you were to be accepted. What you wish to do with what you learn after graduating. We tend to get anywhere between two sentences and two pages. Half a page is great. Maybe write one or two if you are feeling enthusiastic, or are going for a PhD or similar level study. If you are using a formatted letter for multiple universities (yes, we can tell when you’re doing that. It’s perfectly fine! No harm in it), make sure you copy and paste correctly. We still read them if they are obviously for a different university, but we will laugh. A lot. Especially you, Mr “I wish to apply for <NAME OF COURSE> at <NAME OF UNIVERSITY>".
Unusual document names
Honestly when I open someone's folder to see what they just uploaded the last thing I want to see is something called "HUMAN_SOUL_1" staring back at me. "WHO_AM_I" was a bit alarming as well. I'm guess it broke up the monotony a bit at least.
Asked for: academic transcript Received: academic transcript and a medical report of a spine ???? Oh well, extras don't hurt, I guess. Just wish I knew whose spine it was for.
