hello everyone! i'm ria! you can also call me astra :)
this is a studyblr & writeblr sideblog. i am new to both, so i'm open to any tips and ideas! i don't write much but i want to improve my skills, so don't expect anything too grand.
i'm looking for writeblrs that write fantasy, prose, and poems!
i want to write poetry but the words won't come out
like a thorn in my side or a festering wound
there are so many things that i want to say that
i have never been able to.
i want to write poetry but my voice is too soft
my pauses too long
my stammers too distracting
the trembling blocking my voice from
any clarity at all.
i want to write poetry but i don't know where to start
what shall i unravel? so many choices
maybe tomorrow i will make up my mind
on what emotion to dig up and
what trauma to excavate.
i want to write poetry but i forget the words
i'm strangled by my own metaphors
stupefied by symbolism that is trite
and obvious. why should i compare things
that have been compared since the beginning of time?
i want to write poetry but my sunsets are no more pink
than every other one as dusk settles over the horizon.
my flowers no more beautiful, no more like love.
my sorrow is not blue and my anger is not red,
but my soul is purple and i'm still trying to figure out
how that could be.
you don't know what to do. it's dark. you can't see– or think– straight
you've come so far, does it have to end like this
.
you're lost.
you're lost. lost in a way where you know what you want but you don't know how to get there
it may just mess everything up
and if it does? you'll feel incomplete. something's off.
.
you're lost. you're lost in your thoughts. your choices. your life.
you're struggling. trekking along the rough path, hiking through the steep cliffs, feeling like you want to cry and scream and let everything out because you don't know what to do anymore, you're lost.
shoutout to all the writers who are in a rough patch right now! It's ok to be burnt out, it's ok to have writer's block, and it's ok to feel down about both of those things. You're still a real writer :D
hi! its my first time here submitting smth for ampo, and if you don't know what that is, it's a writeblr event hosted by mika @strawberrystarcake and nico @chaotic-queer-disaster! they have a blog all about it (@.a-million-possible-outcomes), check it out if you want :) anyway the word count here is around 2.3k and it's also my first time writing a story this long so . don't expect anything big or deep, i'm still trying :D i just did this for fun and i had lots of em LOL
no tws ^_^
"autumn was a peculiar person. she was secretive. she was quiet. she was the most introverted person i know. but she's still my best friend."
that was via. fifteen years old. she's talking to a new student in school. he thought via was talkative and loud.
"we met when we were around 12 years old, you see. she was a new student here in this school, and being the extroverted kid i was, i marched right up to her and introduced myself, just how i'm doing it to you right now! she started avoiding me but i was very clingy, and so she had no choice but to put up with my nonsense."
the new boy looked very confused and obviously didn't want to be there, but it looks like he had no choice.
"we soon became very good friends!", she continued, "i picked her up every morning and brought her home every aftern-"
"look. i don't have time for this. you're just not my type of friend. now c-"
"oh and she disappears very randomly at times, probably to visit her mother."
he was rather intrigued. just a little bit.
"wait, who takes care of her then?" he asked
"no one" via said simply. she's a very mature being. she's pretty good at taking care of herself"
𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚗 ; 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢
𝟷𝟿𝟿0𝚜
autumn was a very peculiar person and she knows it. she liked being called peculiar. it was a compliment to her.
her life was quite simple. gets picked up by via at 7am, brought home at 3pm, and she disappears to who knows where until she is picked up at 7am again the next day.
that was a lie. her life is not simple at all. her life is the opposite of simple. it was hard, tiring, draining and demanding. most people would probably switch lives with her, but trust me. that is not the way to go.
so, what is she? is she a princess? is she a heir? no. she's a heaxian.
she comes from a land called heaxia, some place near japan and taiwan. of course, it's invisible to the naked eye.
heaxians are-- powerful. they get to choose a power to keep for life when they come of age (14) and is assigned to a country. their lifelong goal is to retrieve the eyes of the heax from every country there is.
𝚐𝚊𝚋 ; 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕
𝟷𝟾𝟾0𝚜
the gods were bored one day, so they decide to play a little game. there is a little pebble, as smooth as glass or marble, as shiny as a silver platter, and as big as a thumb would be lying around on the ground once a year. the gods would drop the gift in every country for a whole 24 hours, and if ever the rock finds a person worthy, it'll show itself. the person in question now has the ability to get powers of their choice, and the game is over.
a 10 year old girl, gab, was skipping around her garden, she saw something shiny. she thought it was a coin at first, but it was far too thick to be one. then; it snapped. "mama! mama! i found the gift! the gift in our country!"
of course, her mother was very doubtful. "how do you know this is real? could this be a copy? a prank? gab. you can't jump to conclusions."
gab felt it. she knew she's found the gift.
that night, the gods, miles and ysabel, visited her dream. "hello gab! as it turns out, you have found the gift! congratulations!" gab was too starstruck to speak. she was standing on a cloud, and it was very bright. it seemed to her that there were castles in the distance. "why am i standing on a cloud?" they both laughed. "this is infinite magical powers we're talking about. anything is possible."
gab chose the power of teleportation which was very convenient on her part. her powers were passed on only to her worthy descendants. to be specific, only around 35 out of around 80 descendants got the gift, which all happened in around eleven decades.
now here's the catch. the gods' game backfired. they didn't think it through. you see, after gab has officially gotten her power, the gods lost power over the stones, which means a whole other race of heaxians could arise just if one more puny little childless human being, as the gods would call us, finds a stone- which could be a big problem, since they never wanted the heaxians to take over the human population.
which brings us back to the present, the 1990s
𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚗 ; 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢 ; 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗
𝟷𝟿𝟿0𝚜
autumn was in her condominium, heading out to another part of the state to search for the eye of australia. for the past three years, she's been in melborne and today, she's decided to go near that one cafe a few blocks away from school. she's been able to search the entire school just last week, and nothing, as she expected
there are two more heaxians in australia- milo and taylor. we're not aware of their location, but we'll find out soon enough.
i haven't told you about autumn's power yet!! well, she had a very hard time deciding on it. when i say hard, i mean a really hard time. it took her weeks to decide because she had too many ideas, but settled on seeing the future. the catch was she only had 10 minutes to visit the future every two weeks. all she had to do was find her inner peace, say where in time she wants to go to, and snap.
𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚗 ; 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢 ; 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝
she has always wondered what would happen if she looked into the future regarding the eyes. would everyone be able to collect all 195 eyes? seeing as they've collected about 1/4 of the eyes in 120 years, it seemed unlikely it's going to happen anytime soon. she's always debated whether she should give it a shot, because she's not even sure if that's possible. although there's no harm in trying, right?
that night, she's decided to do it. she went into her room and locked the door, closed the windows and curtains
"am i allowed to do this? probably not. does this violate a rule of the heax? probably. will i do it anyway? yes of course, for gods sake i need some exciting things in my life."
she needed to find her inner peace. her brain had to empty. her strategy in doing so is imagining herself floating in nothingness. a white place and nothing more. when she felt ready, she did.
*snap*. "take me to the next century."
she felt the sensation of being sucked into a loophole, just as you would feel if you went on a merry-go-round; just exclude getting dizzy. around and round and round again, until she is dropped into what is supposedly the 2090s.
"oh no."
𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎.
𝟸0𝟿0𝚜
everything was. magic. everywhere. was magic. teleporting, super speed, invisibility, you name it. as she was going to walk up to a nice looking lady for some questions, she felt a tingling sensation and she was brought back to the position she was in when she first arrived. everyone started clapping and laughing.
"what- what the hell just happe- excuse me? excuse me, yeah you, what just happened?"
"you uncultured and disrespectful child may i add. raine just did her Thing."
"raine? her Thing? what?"
"jesus christ, that's not funny. some kind of comedian you are, aye?
"sorry. where am i again?" she added. "my head's feeling funny." god, that was a horrible fib, she thought.
the lady shakes her head. "honestly, woman, did you hit your head on the way? you're in calagary, canada, where the heax magic is strongest.
"oh. okay. thank you, anyway i best be going, see you."
"wait! where are you going? how do you know wher-" but she was already off.
.
it was a horrible sight, i can tell you that. chaos everywhere. no control, and no government in sight to stop it all.
you may be thinking of a place with paper planes all over the streets with cars zooming past the speed limit and plastic bags flying all over the air. here's the thing: it's not that kind of chaotic. everything was actually neat when it comes to actual pollution, because ella was always there to help. she's an environmentalist, and she chose the power of tidying up. in a snap of a finger, she can put all the trash in the city disappear into oblivion. gone. disappeared.
of course, just because ella can clean them all up, it doesn't stop her from reminding everyone to avoid littering. every 2 months, with a help of her friend alex, who can make his voice heard by a thousand miles, they have programs about the environment. autumn was fascinated by ella's and alex's determination. back at 1990, people couldn't care less about the environment. "maybe the future isn't so bad after all."
she was wrong. she visited a nearby cafe and observed that the non-heaxians were the laziest asses in the universe. everyone is complaining. "hey yOU! MAKE A CUP O' COFFEE APPEAR! IM THIRSTY!" "ey, get my cup from the counter please? can't you teleport?" noise pollution was booming.
and then she saw a girl, around her age. she looked stressed. autumn was in dire need of explanations.
"uh hey there. question. who's raine?"
she looked startled and took off her earbuds. "oh sorry, didn't see you there. you must be knew here. raine's a popular person here in our country and she has the power to turn back time."
"oh. makes sense. thanks."
she also noticed the girl looked distressed and disappointed.
"y'alright?"
"no, no i'm not alright. this world is doomed. everyone is relying on these.. heaxians, theyre called? to do the work for them. hell, my sister wont even learn to drive since her heaxian of a best friend can fly her to wherever. everyone is taking everything forgranted. the heaxians can do nothing. our mayor believes that humans have higher power and authority over them. they're used as slaves."
"my mother and father were heaxians. they both died three years ago because they weren't doing as humans would tell them to. they thought that their sacrifice would inspire other heaxians to fight back. it was no use. their death was put in vain. cowards." she stopped, and added "i wish i was born in the past. maybe in the 1990s. lovely place."
she started tearing up. autumn felt the need to pat her back consolingly, and she did. they both smiled at each other.
"i agree with you completely. this is utter chaos. sure, there are peacemakers everywhere and environmentalists, but the true magic of life is gone. words like 'hard work' and 'determination' and 'patience' are washed away in a sea, forgotten."
she couldn't be more relieved to hear that.
"oh, and what's your name?"
"kim. kimberly vega."
"wait what?"
"yeah? w-"
and she felt it again. she was sucked back into a loophole. her head went round and round and round and then suddenly she felt like falling. and then she was back. the lovely 1990s. she has never been more relieved to be back. autumn vega couldn't be more relieved.
.
autumn died at the age of 82. funnily, she got to visit her town in australia as a spirit, in around the 2080s. it was hilarious watching them all go wild. newspapers, radios, cellphones and televisions all blasting the same questions. "MAGIC EXISTS?????" "WHAT THE HELL ARE HEAXIANS??????" "IS THIS THE END OF IT ALL?????"
people in heaxia were also panicking. "IS OUR MISSION A FAILURE??? WILL THE WORLD BE DOMINATED BY OUR KIND???? ARE OUR DECADES OF WORK WASTED?"
she knows how this ends, of course.
𝚔𝚒𝚖 ; 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎
𝟸0𝟿0𝚜
fast-forward. a hundred years later. it's 2090 now, and kim vega was in her comfort cafe with her usual caramel macchiato. a 19 year old, as usual, pissed with the world.
a strange girl suddenly appeared outside her window, she looked younger than her. she looked confused but no matter. kim had nothing to do with her.
ten minutes later, the girl entered the cafe and started walkimg towards her. thoughts like "what does she want with me" and "get off me i dont need friends" revolved around her head in less than 3 seconds.
"uh hey there. question. who's raine?"
crap. she pretended not to hear her. who's raine???? what kind of question is that? kim thought to herself.
sigh. i guess i'll have to answer. and so kim went on about raine and her popularity.
"y'alright?"
i knew it, she thought. now what do i tell her. suppose i'll tell her the truth, she's going to think ive lost my mind. no harm in doing it though, i don't even know her. and kim started talking about how she hated the future, about her parents, and about how she wished she was born in the 1990s instead.
to kim's surprise, the strange girl agreed with her.
she started patting her back. kim was pretty touched.
"oh and what's your name?"
"kim. kimberly vega."
"wait what?"
"yeah? why? anything wro-"
she couldn't finish her sentence because the strange girl was surrounded by little lights. they looked like fairy lights but she couldn't see the cord. what. is. happening.
in a blink of an eye, she was gone.
"huh. weird. sucks i guess"
𝟷𝟿𝟿0𝚜
"and that's all i know about autumn. she was very mysterious, you know?" via concluded
"yeah. i know. anyway, best be off now. i've got a story to narrate."
.
yep. i'm milo, yeah, does that ring a bell? thought i'd like to surprise you.
there are some unanswered questions to the tale, and all we can say is we don't know. how did the humans learn about our magic? wasn't it supposed to be kept secret? and what happened to kim?
you know, sometimes our questions are better left unanswered.
the heaxians will always be remembered, but i'm not sure if it's something to be proud of.
the pandemic (tumblr) has appreciate the little things in life (the app). a roof over my head (the blogs on the right side) and food on the table (the ability to copy paste pictures). sometimes, i take these for granted, and i won't be able to appreciate them unless they're gone.
*looks outside window ; it's raining*
i see people everyday, experiencing hardships. no water to drink (posts not posting). no school to go to (queue not working). i wish the government (staff) could help fix this.
*look away from window ; stand up ; look in mirror*
of course, some of these may be blessings in disguise. mother nature starts to heal (ability to delete replies). we get to pick up new hobbies and interests from the pandemic (the site).
people are working together to fix this (crash event). we are united through beliefs and opinions (july is halloween). our community is growing, and as more generations (12 year olds) enter our world (the site), we welcome them with open arms and guide them through life (ask them to leave for their sanity).
*dramatic exit of room ; eyes tearing up ; faint smile*
in conclusion ; staff istfg take back the update i need to start copy pasting and rearranging again.
i think it's really lovely how we all trust our mutuals here on this site
like, we won't really know the truth, will we? we don't know if they're faking their age, their likes, their personality, or even their face. they could be taking pictures of their sibling or their cousin. they could in reality be a 50 year old man trying to stalk us
we won't really know if people are actually in need of money, or if they're scamming
we won't really know if people live in the country they claim to live in
we won't really know if your online friend is actually your neighbor or sibling
that's the beauty (and danger) of the internet . we all rely on trust
and we trust our friends because friends are cool
ily mutuals /p please don't turn out as a creepy 50 year old man :]
.
also this is a reminder to stay cautious at all times here- don't show your face, don't reveal your age if you're below like 18, and just stay safe in general ^_^
my brother is sleeping the hours until it’s mid-afternoon and my mother has taken to banging our broom against the walls of his bedroom. and it feels like my depression. there’s a mother-child of aches, scratching and screaming. demented in her caterwaul, purging my quiet with her unforgiving, indelicate noise. can you hear it? of course not. I can’t either. I just know somewhere, my demons echo each noise no matter how quiet.
I imagine my brother pulling the threads of sleep into a tapestry thick enough to drape across the breadth of my mother’s bellow. the blanket I see in my head is so vivid. deep-seated dread of red patterned with intricate flower designs in black and blue. like the walls of my head. like a flesh beaten raw — black and blue. that’s how most do it. that’s how it’s like I imagine. a blanket to shield against the noise. I admire and despise my brother for having so think a cloak, so obstinate his will to sit on his throne of slumber even when the cloying smell of my mother’s wrath is spreading fast and certain across the corners of our two decade old home.
so I sit here, doing some dishes inside the walls of my head. I try to quell the sound, the conflict, into dirty half-filled glasses; plate with half=eaten remains; spoons and forks tongue-liked clean; pans and pots with undersides burned black. I put them under the faucet, suds sliding away from their metal and porcelain bodies. I hear the rattle and ping of each utensil as I splay them on a dry cloth. dishes going to the racks. my movements all mechanical. my present reality fading into the background.
one dish slips from my hand. in slow motion, I watch my fingers a handsbreadth from the plate. white and unforgiving glass shatters on my feet. the jarring noise resounds down the halls in my head, unsettling the dust in all its corners. no semblance of solace can quiet my immediate surroundings so I leave the kitchen in my mind and catch myself holding down a vengeful full-blown anxiety attack.
my mother’s anger continues. it’s like a net, not a fishhook to catch just one when thrown. it’s a net. it takes everything in, reels every unsuspecting fish — like me. as I sit here quietly, hearing the chaos ensure. my sisters and my father get into it too.
my god, did I ever tell you? my mother’s hurt is so deep and old she forgets she’s even hurting at all.
While this song makes me merry,
Tyrian purple dyes many a hue
From magenta to berry
And a true purple too.
But fun as it is to watch this poetic race
The answer is staring you right in the face:
Roses are red and violets are blue
Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
i didn't really do much work this weekend, but i did write a few sentences for my a million possible outcomes submission! (learn more about that in @.a-million-possible-outcomes)
i went to the mall too and visited my grandparents :]
april 9th - what’s your favorite flower?
hmm maybe tulips!
April 10th - spring… is more like peachy tea or iced raspberry latte?