ASOIAF fandom defending only targaryen women so much that they basically created this whole white feminism:
āValyrian/dragon-blood feminismā
People reduce feminism to only supporting one very specific kind of female character the ābadassā white silver hair woman and the woman with the dragon.
Dragonriding is probably the most ābadassā and fantastical element in ASOIAF. Dragons are basically walking apocalypse machines and in a lot of Western European mythology they represent almost the āevilā power.
Of course people instantly associates dragonriding with strength and superiority.
But thatās also why the Valyrian/Targaryen stuff gets complicated. Because GRRM ties this near-divine power to a very specific blood and physical appearance (pale skin, silver hair, purple eyes, āpure blood,ā selective breeding, keeping bloodlines āclean,ā etc.) The ability to control dragons is written as something inherited through Valyrian blood and the Valyrian body itself becomes the site of this mythical power. In fact people have criticized that for years because it creates uncomfortable implications around race and blood purity esp since the Targaryens themselves are obsessed with keeping their bloodline said āpureā and see themselves as fundamentally above other people.
Now, I donāt think GRRM is straightforwardly endorsing that ideology. If anything, ASOIAF repeatedly shows how destructive blood supremacy thinking is. The Targaryens destroy themselves through incest, conquest, prophecy obsession, and violence. But the critique can still get muddy because the story also undeniably makes Valyrian features and dragon-blood feel magical and exceptional.
And people sometimes makes it even worse by treating dragonriding as proof that certain people are inherently more āworthyā or āimportantā than others instead of seeing how dangerous that ideology actually is inside the story.
Which is why you can end up seeing non-dragonrider women constantly hated or treated as less important by a huge parts of the fandom because once dragonriding becomes the ultimate symbol of āvalue,ā women connected to softer or non-militarized forms of power start getting treated as āirrelevantā or āanti-feminist.ā
People donāt really compare Catelyn and Alysanne to understand them. They use Alysanne as the āfeminist queen templateā and then turn Catelyn into the contrast character who automatically looks worse more emotional, more limited & more āwrong.ā Alysanne is tied to dragon power and royal authority. Even when sheās being diplomatic or kind, thereās still this huge force behind her position. People listen to her differently because of what she represents. Catelyn doesnāt have that. No dragons no āor else I burn your Lannister armyā backup plan. Sheās stuck working through negotiations and constant political pressure during an active war.
Visenya gets the of the ābadass queenā archetype, while Alicent gets reduced into the ātadwife / political nagā Visenyaās power wasnāt actually that different from many other noble women in Westeros in terms of limits. Yes, she had more freedom than most because she was a dragonrider, but she was still living inside a deeply patriarchal system. She was part of an arranged political marriage, tied to her brother-husband, and had to function within Aegonās authority as king of the conquested realm. Even when she held court or acted independently in certain moments, ultimate sovereignty still rested with Aegon, and major decisions about the realm and their family still went through him. We also see that tension in how inheritance and succession expectations werenāt something she fundamentally overturns or redefines. Male primogeniture remains the norm, and it isnāt really challenged by her presence. Even in terms of motherhood Visenya doesnāt have full control over outcomes like how Aenys is favored over Maegor. The limits of her influence become visible there she can build her own influence (like Dragonstone), but she doesnāt fully change the system she exists in. Ironically, I would argue that Alicent had more practical day-to-day political power than Visenya. Itās also when it comes to Alicent vs Rhaenyra too where Rhaenyra gets treated like the āfeminist queenā and Alicent gets shoved into the ātradwife conservativeā box. Thereās a huge mismatch here because people are projecting modern American politics onto a quasi-medieval world that just doesnāt work on those terms. Everything becomes āconservative vs progressive,ā ātradwife vs girlboss,ā āfeminist icon vs oppressor,ā etc. Alicent isnāt a ātradwife archetype,ā sheās just a noblewoman doing what noblewomen have to do in her world securing her kids & and working inside patriarchy because there is no outside option for her. And Rhaenyra isnāt different she isnāt a modern feminist disruptor either. Sheās also fully inside the same system. Sheās tied to aristocratic inheritance, and ruling through birthright. Thatās not rebellion against the system that is the system. Once you drop the modern projection it stops being ātradwife vs feministā and starts being ātwo women trying to survive and secure power for themselves & their childrenā
Same with Sansa vs Daenerys really just boils down to people forcing women into a ātradwife vs girlbossā and it misses the whole point of their characters badly. Daenerys gets read as the ultimate badass because she has the most visible form of power in the story (dragons, armies, conquest, prophecy, fire imagery, etc.) Her power is loud. Sansaās story is basically the opposite. Sheās surviving inside hostile courts with almost no physical protection, no army, no dragon, no magical blood power she can use. Her tools are observation, courtesy, reading people, and learning how power works from the inside. But people tends to value masculine-coded power way more than feminine-coded power. Daenerys becomes the āliberated powerful womanā while Sansa gets reduced to āboring,ā ātrad,ā or whatever projection people want to throw onto her. And honestly it gets misogynistic fast because femininity itself starts being treated like a character flaw. Like sorry Sansa cannot burn down her problems with a dragon. She is a political hostage for most of the story obviously sheās going to move differently than the girl with three magical nukes and an army. The amount of power a character has shapes how they survive. The books show this over and over again. And I say this as someone who genuinely love & defend Daenerys. This is not me hating her or pretending she isnāt an incredibly important and compelling character.
And honestly, itās not just about the dragons themselves. Itās also tied to blood purity the silver hair & pale skin. Which is also why characters like Nettles is hated despite having a dragon. Because if a girl who is poor common-born, visibly outside the idealized Valyrian image, and Black-coded can bond with a dragon through patience and bravery instead of āpure bloodā then the entire mythology of dragonlord exclusivity starts falling apart. And I genuinely think that is part of why so much of the fandom treats Nettles horribly or tries to explain her away with āshe secretly has Valyrian bloodā theories. A lot of people are more comfortable preserving the fantasy of biologically special dragon blood than accepting the possibility that the Targaryens were never as uniquely entitled to dragons as they believed.
Which is exactly why the reactions to Nettles inside the story are so important too the panic around her is not political but ideological she threatens blood purity mythology itself.
Alicent, Catelyn, Sansa, and Cersei donāt have that kind of power. They canāt force anyone to listen by fear of fire and destruction. They have to work with what they do have.
Not every woman has to be pale, silver-haired, riding dragons, or burning people down to be worthy of attention or respect in a story. Some women adapt to survive it. Some try to protect their children within it.
And honestly, peopleās obsession with the āgirlbossā version of feminism just loops back into valuing women only when they perform power in masculine-coded ways. A woman doesnāt have to be a Targaryen and threaten everyone around her to be an interesting exploration of gender and power.
