Fistfight Me in an Applebee's Parking Lot

“If anyone yells at me for eating an entire bag of garlic croutons I will face god and walk backwards into hell where I belong” Vet student with a chronic case of Dumb Bitch Disease™️

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[tainbocuailnge]

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

[dragon-in-a-fez]

actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

[dogpuppy]

[dosmeow]

I’ve been seeing a lot of Scooby Doo on my dash lately. My friend discovered what he describes as “Shaggy eviscerating an ape”

[bloodclotbitch]

[vividciggy]

Cue 800 disaster alarms activating in harrow's brain

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

[armpits-are-crying]

nope. funkytown again

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

come on

[alagaisia]

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[alagaisia]

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

[alagaisia]

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

[watermelon-converse]

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

[emi--rose]

Hell yeah moon holiday

[hello-delicious-tea]

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

[ariaste]

PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)

[hamlindigo]

This picture is making me nauseous .

[hamlindigo]

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

IN DWARF FORTRESS YOU HAVE TO WORRY IF YOUR LIVESTOCK MIGHT BE GAY WTF

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[lemonsweet]

These tags keep making me laugh

[chiarrara]

why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot

[muppetshow2026]

how far into his term as mayor does zohran get the big top hat and monocle. i kind of thought he’d have them by now

[aropride]

hangovers don't actually have anything to do with alcohol. it's called a hangover because you get them when you Hang out with your friends and then it's Over

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[factbot]

Clint Eastwood is co creator of the board game puffin