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centaurs hockey here we come ❤️ (!!!)
Do you think Shane ever comes home with Ilya from a long day of practice and his brain is a little scrambled because it's full of plays and strategy and how to tighten up their passes. So when Ilya hands him a ginger ale and says he's going to order in something for dinner, Shane's like, "Sounds good. Thanks, bro." And then as he realises what he's said, he's like, "Shit, I mean—"
"Bro? BRO?" says Ilya, his hands on his hips. "My name is Baby, or 'Love-Of-My-Life', or 'Beloved Husband', or 'Rozanov' if I'm in trouble. Just like you are now, Hollander."
And that's all the warning Shane has before he's tackled to the couch, and Ilya's kissing him relentlessly all over his face and neck, more to tickle him than anything. In between all the kisses, Ilya is like, "What do you say, Hollander? Do I have to keep helping you remember my name?"
And Shane's laughing so hard he's crying like "No, no, I'm sorry, baby! I'm sorry! I'll never call you bro again." And finally Ilya stops and presses one last kiss to his lips, this one softer and sweeter.
"Okay, good. Now let's get some dinner, bro."
And Shane rolls his eyes, but he leans up to get another kiss from Ilya.
They only end up ordering much later.
and it felt like we were something.
Its so important to remember that when Shane says "Ilya noooo, Ilya ewww, what the fuck Ilya" that this is him giggling and kicking his feet. The man is not a killjoy he just loves being chased.
yall make ilya the treat dogdad, but you are wrong and here is why
shane is obviously not the animal lover of this household. his parents weren’t pet people (david has allergies), and he’s always been on the road too much to even consider it. plus, there’s so much hair and dirt and slobber and mess and it just feels unnecessary
but he sees how happy anya makes ilya, and that alone is enough to make him look past all the mess
it takes him a while to bond with her though. she and ilya are basically inseparable at home, and when shane is alone with her, she mostly keeps her distance, napping on the couch and lifting her head to stare at the door every once in a while, waiting for her papa to come home
but one long weekend while ilya is visiting boston, shane takes anya on a hike. that’s something you do with dogs, right? anya seems to love it, anyway. she noses at some leaves when they pause for water, and rolls around in the grass at the top of the hill happily, but otherwise is just as focused on her run as shane is. she keeps pace with him, her leash attached to shane’s waist, and she’s like his adorable little shadow. and shane kinda loves it, having this running partner who enjoys the fresh air and quiet with him
so when they get home, he makes sure she drinks water (but not too fast, he’s read about that) and fishes some treats out of the bag at the back of the closet
and they’re okay, he thinks. kinda boring for her, maybe? they almost look like kibble, which can’t be fun and enriching for her. she’s a hunting dog by breed, or at least has a little of that in her gene pool, so she must want something more prey-like?
so in the four days ilya is gone, shane goes ham researching enriching and delicious dog treats, and ends up at one of those obnoxiously expensive pet food places in town picking out refrigerated and freeze dried things that would probably gross ilya out
and while he’s there, the sales girl opens up his world even further. what kind of human food is okay for anya to eat. doggie cookies and pup cups and a universe of treats that of course anya deserves, look at her! just sitting at shane’s feet staring up at him, not reacting to the other dogs and sounds and smells, just bopping her head against his knee
so on the way home, back of the jeep loaded with a frankly obscene amount of purchases, including a number of toys, they go through the timmy’s drive through to get a black coffee and a pup cup
and when ilya returns, anya runs up to him at the door, bouncing and jumping and getting her little paws up on his chest
and then she turns back around and joins shane on the couch, where she’s got her bum pressed against his thigh and a very expensive enriched bone in her mouth (over a blanket, of course)
Ilya’s doctor warns him that antidepressants often decrease sex drive but after eight weeks of taking the meds, the opposite has happened. His sex drive has dramatically increased. He’s horny all the time, and he’s constantly thinking about fucking Shane. It’s pretty much the only thing he thinks about. It’s the off-season, and they’re at the cottage, so he has mostly uninterrupted access to Shane and can fuck him around the clock, but he knows he can’t go on like this. They were having dinner with Yuna and David the other night and he almost bent Shane over the dining room table while his in-laws where in the kitchen. Ilya was horrified when he got hard from Shane placing a piece of garlic bread on his plate, and had to lie about being too full to move from the table so he had time to will his erection away before his in-laws saw it. He has to figure this out before the season starts or he might bend Shane over and fuck him in front of everyone in the locker room. He goes back to the doctor and tells them his symptoms, and they switch him to another medicine. Ilya tells Shane about the medication switch and he swears he sees a brief flash of disappointment on Shane’s face.
i guess i like these guys a lot 💆♀️
“can’t believe you treat your gf like this Hollander 😔” has me crying lmao please someone write this
Its so important to remember that when Shane says "Ilya noooo, Ilya ewww, what the fuck Ilya" that this is him giggling and kicking his feet. The man is not a killjoy he just loves being chased.
ilya jokingly complains to yuna and david about shane doing something (“david!!! help!! shane is pinching me!!!”) and they reply with a version of “sorry no returns” “you married him” “he’s yours now” and he loooooves to hear that!!!
it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That
shane gives ilya free use on ilya’s birthday thinking it’s gonna be a cum dump situation like his own birthday and instead found ilya licking and sucking him all day. he woke up with ilya’s tongue on his hole teeth sunk into his ass. he lounges on the couch with ilya sucking his tits. he does yoga and ilya comes in to suck his neck while pounding deep inside him. he cooks dinner and was interrupted with ilya crowding him and sucking his mouth and tongue until they’re puffy and he feels hazy. they watch tv and ilya’s lying on top of shane chewing on his thighs and crawl up to taste his belly. they go to bed and ilya makes love to him while sucking on his armpits. his poor dick was ignored all day until after he came and ilya laps around it with his tongue giving it an obsence pop
shane wakes up the next morning with a million hickeys scattered all over his body
talk - hollanov - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 407 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3
David is about ready to break out the strong stuff.
Sitting at the dining room table with his family, he can feel the tension rolling off the other three people around him, and he makes sure to clutch at the dice in his hands with resolve as he looks from a glowering Shane to a pouting Ilya, to a stone-faced Yuna. After a few more moments of silence, he decides to talk.
“I think we’re done for the night.”
“Dad! What the f–?”
“David, I’m winning!”
“Noooooo, David I am about to be millionaire!”
They’re all speaking at once, and David wishes desperately for some Tylenol and some peace. “Hey!” he shouts, causing all of them to be quiet again.
All except for Shane, who can’t leave well enough alone. “Dad, Rozanov is fucking cheating!” he glowers, throwing a hand in Ilya’s direction. “I saw him slip money from the bank! If you’re going to make someone stop playing, it should be–”
But Ilya interrupts furiously. “Hollander is stacking card decks! There is no way he can get good Chance cards three times in a row, is impossible!”
Yuna jumps in before David can intervene. “Honestly, boys, it doesn’t really matter because I’m winning, so–”
“Enough,” David says firmly, causing all three of them to look at him. “Ilya.” He turns to the man across from him, rolling his eyes when Ilya gives him a pleading expression. “I saw you take money from the bank. Yuna helped you.”
Both Ilya and Yuna begin to deny while Shane stands and points between them, eyes wide.
“And Shane, you did stack the deck!” David continues, pressing his fingers to his temples. “I know because you got the same card twice, which is impossible.”
Shane freezes in place, blinking before slowly sinking back into his chair.
“So this will be going in the closet with the rest of the banned games,” he finished, collecting the pieces to Monopoly and placing them back in the box, a scowl on his face.
“Sorry, David,” Ilya is the first to say, arms crossed as he sits in his chair like a child in time-out.
“Sorry, Dad.”
“Sorry, David.”
“Ilya, go get the vodka,” he replies, walking off to the closet.
Unceremoniously, he shoves Monopoly inside, on top of a pile of other games that includes Life, Battleship, Candyland, and Yahtzee.
Someday, he’ll find people to have Game Night with that aren’t stupidly competitive.
lovers - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 431 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3
“So,” Yuna said lightly, moving to sit by Shane as they both relaxed inside, eyes glued on the widow that faced outside, where David was attempting to teach Ilya to fish. “‘Lovers,’ huh?”
Of course, Shane had known that this talk was coming, but he still groaned, blushing dramatically. “Mom, I told you that word was–”
“I’m not judging, Shane. I’m just saying…almost ten years? That’s…that’s a long time.”
He let out a sigh, still watching his boyfriend through the glass. Ilya was grinning, nodding along as David modelled how to bait a hook. After a moment, though, his face turned to horror as he seemed to realize that live bait was going to be used. “It is,” he acknowledged.
“When did it change?” Yuna asked, never one to beat around the bush.
“I–recently, Mom, I–it’s complicated..Like we said, Scott Hunter–” Shane started, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for her.
“Shane, believe it or not but I do know you,” she interrupted firmly, causing him to finally glance in her direction. “And I know what I saw in my kitchen the other day. He–” she paused, frowning, as if trying to find the words. “He understands you. And that doesn’t happen from a few months of…whatever you two want to call this. It comes from years of love.”
He blinked, looking away. Outside, Ilya attempted to cast the line only for it to catch on a nearby bush, making both men laugh and Shane smile to himself even as he contemplated. “Maybe…a while? Maybe…fuck, maybe…” he swallowed, the possibility of years spent in love and hiding it making his heart ache. How long had he been denying himself the one thing he’d wanted the most? Had it been since the first time they’d hooked up? Longer? “I…wasn’t allowed to love him,” he finally answered carefully, trying to keep his tone light. “M’still not. I just…gave up. Trying to stop myself. Trying to follow the rules. We both did.”
He felt Yuna’s eyes on him, then. Her sadness, maybe. He didn’t say anything about it.
After a moment, she simply said, “Good.”
He turned quickly to her. “What?”
“Good,” she repeated, eyes steely and jaw set. “Fuck the rules, Shane. Like I said, I can see the way you two know each other, and…you’ve never been happier.”
Something warm and overwhelming flooded through him. “Oh,” he nodded, glancing back towards his dad and his boyfriend, the latter of whom was now holding a small fish, beaming like he’d won a championship game. “Yeah,” he agreed, breaking into his own smile.
Out of all the heated rivalry analysis I’ve seen I’ve never seen someone mention that after the all star game Shane no longer drafts and deletes texts. He says what he intends to say the first time and stops editing and second guessing himself and it’s one of my favorite details showing that their dynamic has changed and no one talks about it
Guys Shane getting high with Ilya for the first time non horny takes because obvious Shane gets crazy horny with weed- but ! I think Ilya like sees his shoulders drop a few cm from how he usually holds them tense and up. He’s all loose limbed and soft, spread out draped on the couch like wrung out fabric and his eyes are all huge soft heavy blinks. And he rolls his head towards Ilya and gives him this gorgeous adoring smile and just exhales “you’re just so beautiful Ilya” his hand on his cheek. Oh it’s so soft. “So fucking handsome baby. Woooow” said in soft awe to himself, soft knuckles over the back of Ilyas cheek. “I love these teeth” when Ilya smiles at him, sticking his fingers in ilyas mouth to touch the wonky ones. Then “oh my god Ilya” and Ilya is like what? And Shane is like “Ilya we should get cheeseburgers I haven’t had cheeseburgers in soooo long I love them. I want extra pickles” and Ilya buys him four cheeseburgers and fries and a shake because Shane never asks him for junk food and they eat on the couch and Shane eats three of the burgers and the fries and splits the shake with Ilya. And Ilya loves Shane, his Shane bur it does feel special to see his boy so open relaxed and carefree, get a peek of what’s ticking inside his Shane’s brain all the time
everyone calls Ilya by Rozanov and I love the gentle reminder when David called Ilya “Rozanov” and Ilya says “Ilya”. if we’re about to be family, might as well call me by my first name 🥹