[jakemorph]

the only “v” “tubers” i care about are the “root vegetables” i grow in my “vagina”. to all the haters who saw this post early on patreon and told me not to post it: kill yourselves, sincerely this time

[virtualgirladvance]

F

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

U

[knight-errant-girl]

N

[toa-arania]

G

[robotgirlservos]

P

[flareonfloof]

[goomba-stomper]

I went to every afterlife and there wasn't a single goomba in any of them. Where the fuck are these things going

[fredersen]

[super-amogio-64]

she keebler on my elves ‘til I just genuinely straight up kill myself

[gay--dog]

im so tired i could sleep a horse

[gay--dog]

im so tired i could sleep a horse

[super-amogio-64]

you’ve heard of a “canary” in a “coal mine” while get ready for a “battle pass” in “fortnite”

[saipng]

don’t you just hate it when 🚙

um. sorry wait a minute [grabs mic]

can the owner of the blue honda civic move their car please. it’s blocking my post.

[cryptotheism]

My uncle lost a job as a 5 Guys scribe bc he tampered with the burger archives.

[cryptotheism]

Me: "My uncle lost a job as a 5 Guys-"

Rest of the beastie boys: "Scribe!"

Me: "because he tampered with the burger-"

Rest of the beastie boys: "Archives!"

[berrytart]

completely incomprehensible email from my mom. sent from my it's

[cryptotheism]

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

[goodluckbrian-reactivated]

[heedra]

one time in trader joes I saw a deathknight wither a nectarine to straight up mildew and ash in their hands and then put it right back on the display

[energyprison]

The ancient sumerians had everything they needed to make an addams family pinball machine and yet they didnt

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Star Wars has three types of guy: Fump Geezgo from the Womflee system, Stabba Badguyman, and Chris

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Happy May the 4th to this, somehow my most popular original post of all time! In celebration here's some more examples of the Guy Types:

Wam Lufba the Yuzzum, Morally Evil, and Wade

[super-amogio-64]

I love how Tales of the Underworld introduces the fact that Cad Bane used to be named Colby. He transitioned from Chris to Stabba Badguyman.

[super-amogio-64]

she minecraft on my steve ‘til, i don’t know, something happens probably