Best part is the background commentary from the other seventh graders:
Student 1: How does he do that???
Student 2, in a bored tone: he’s gay, he can do anything 🙄
man this is so funny

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oozey mess

JVL
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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we're not kids anymore.

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Today's Document
🪼
Xuebing Du

seen from Germany
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from India
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seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from Russia
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seen from Hong Kong SAR China
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seen from United States
@superdupermediocre
Best part is the background commentary from the other seventh graders:
Student 1: How does he do that???
Student 2, in a bored tone: he’s gay, he can do anything 🙄
man this is so funny
hearing Americans speak in real life is so jarring omfg... Get back in the TV right now
(via @carebewear)
We have a hundred different accents though what in the world would this even mean, what are we doing when we talk that stands out :(
1: you guys talk very loud. Much louder than anyone else. This is not a criticism this is just like... a thing.
2: You have a myriad of different accents but they all share the same backbone to such an extent that it sometimes takes conscious effort to try and pay attention to what FLAVOUR of "American accent" someone is speaking. It's like yogurt flavour. Sure there's differences but it's all still yogurt.
that is the meanest thing anyone has ever said about my dialect
6qube has the cool dialect. He's a gogurt.
Since the 1960s, Australian free to air TV channels have had to match quotas for how much local content they show, which is currently 55%. So when I was growing up in the 90s before streaming existed, it was normal to have local kids' shows like Play School followed by Sesame Street, or the local (very weird) Round the Twist on one channel and The Simpsons on another.
Thing is, it's cheaper to buy the rights to air something made overseas than it is to make original content here, so local stuff isn't always the best quality. While it's normal to hear Australian accents in our news, sports, soap operas or bizarre kids' shows, the bigger budget movies are mostly from elsewhere. And there's obviously a big difference between those mediums when it comes to film quality, sound design, effects, etc. Even at the cinema less than 10% of films are Australian. So, an American or British accent became synonymous with a certain style of media, a certain level of polish.
I imagine that for people growing up more recently that this effect is even stronger. The ratio of local to overseas content is very different on subscription/cable and streaming services. Apparently Netflix's Australian catalogue is only 1.6% local. Imagine if 98.4% of what's available to watch was full of voices that don't sound like yours.
The first time I can remember hearing an Australian accent in a big budget movie was Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. it was like a sudden void in space. Or an object inexplicably manifesting itself in an otherwise empty room. Everyone else on screen was a movie-person running around doing movie-person-things, and then he appeared as a sole Real Person. He sounded like a friend. A neighbour. Someone I might overhear on the bus. Even when I rewatch the movie years later, his non-accent is still heartbreakingly thrilling.
In contrast, the first time I visited the US and heard an ordinary train announcement in an American accent, it felt like I was being pranked.
the worst part of supernatural is when they stopped giving dean the handprint on his arm
I decided to colour this one.
I’ll just leave this here..
You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.
Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one. Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest. By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise. Zeus never stood a chance.
What I find best about this scenario is that the original wife probably expected to be murdered for her infidelity at worst or have her relationship with her husband ruined as he grew to resent her baby, at best.
Instead this man looked at his beloved and said, “who did it?”
And she replied “Zeus,” accepting he probably wouldn’t believe her.
And then he sighed, strapped his sandals back on and said, “I’ll be back before the baby is born.”
“Where are you-?”
“The lord of the sky came into my house, molested my wife in my bed and ate my food. I am going to settle the score.”
“Darling, he’ll kill you.”
“He may try, if he would like.”
You’re so right, that IS the best part.
I’m personally caught up on the seamstress.
“The pathway up Olympus is guarded by dozens of traps and perils strong enough to thwart even the Titans. How are we going to get past all of…” the shepherd boy with golden eagle feathers gestured uselessly at the slopes above them, particularly the herd of eight-legged goats snorting fire.
“There’s a way around,” Yiorgos said, though he was not specifically asked. But he had been the first to begin the march on Olympus, and so felt obligated to take the lead whenever possible, “In the stories there’‘s always a way around whatever obstacles the Gods place in our way.”
He hadn’t meant the words to come out as a question, but they had that lilt to them none-the-less. And even though he hadn’t meant it to be a question, much less a question directed at anyone specific, it was directed at one all the same. Just as the eagle-feathered shepherd boy’s had.
“Way I heard it,” a woman’s voice said. Rough with the Mycenaean Greek equivalent of a backwoods accent, and with the depth of a farmer’s wife who straps cattle to her back to carry to market, “there’s a back path. Hidden behind an invisible door that only one key in the world can open.” Everyone’s eyes had turned to the broad older woman in heavy shawl sitting amidst supplies in the foremost cart. “Least, that’s what my grand-mammy always told me.” she added after a moment of dozens of eyes on her.
“Oh, we were so foolish!” That was Lydia, a lithe waif of a woman, many months pregnant, sitting opposite the seamstress in the wagon. “Of course there’d be a.. a quest. They’d keep such a key in the depths of Tartarus or in the golden chariot of Apollo, or, or-”
“Or”, the older woman cut her off in a voice both firm, but much gentler than she used on anyone else, “he’s like all husbands and has been promising to move the key someplace better for the past three thousand years but hasn’t gotten around to it.” She gestured vaguely to the hillside, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was under, say, that bush right over there.”
It was. Of course. And everyone in the caravan agreed that it had been a very lucky and wise guess from the nameless woman and for the upteenth time since she first sat herself down in the front wagon and announced she was coming along with no further explanation, each and every last member very purposefully gave no further thought to the matter.
Steddie soulmate au where your soulmate's favorite song constantly plays in your head.
How long til Steve's like "why is there always screaming?"
Eddie stomping on tables doing his little non-conformist dance with, like, Springsteen's I'm on Fire on loop in his brain.
Steve's concussions, the headaches, the chaos. He's alone in the dark, trying to sound out what the screams are saying to distract himself from the pain.
Eddie's got The Beachboys and ABBA and Springsteen cassettes hidden under his mattress because once you're a little boy who wasn't loved, even reformed under the unconditional love of Wayne Munson, you don't take love for granted at all, and he'll be damned if he's not gunna know everything about anything his soulmate loved.
Steve keeping little pencil mark tallies on the corner of his desk at home for how many times a week the song in his head changes.
An Iron Maiden song Eddie loved for a day catches for some reason, and he hears it back in his own head for the next two weeks and he's fucking giddy with it.
Steve fixated, gets really good at deciphering the screams, knows the full lyrics of every song by the end of the first night he hears them. Keeps him company at home.
Once, Eddie's picking Dustin up from Steve's. Steve waits out on the driveway with Dustin, talking shit and fucking off, Eddie pulls up. When Dustin climbs in, he shuts the door, windows are down, Steve pokes his head in to acknowledge Eddie, hears the song. It's been on loop in his head for three days. He knows every word. They don't always catch for that long. He looks up at Eddie. Blinks.
Eddie's caught for a second, by the look on Steve's face. Dustin's shuffling through his bag, looking for a miniature he wants to show Eddie, but Steve's lips quirk up a little. And then he says, "doubt sunk itself in you, it's teeth and talons through, you're living catch two two, deluding."
Steve watches Eddie's eyes flick to his radio, then back to Steve.
"This ones lasted a few days?" Steve says quietly.
Eddie's eyes drop to Dustin, then back up to Steve. He grins. "Modern witchhunt, mass hysteria. Fits, huh?"
"Yeah," Steve smiles. "Little bit."
Dustin pulls out his figure, starts rambling to Eddie, pauses, nods and says "later, Steve," before he's on about his figure again, talking a mile a minute.
Eddie laughs. He leans over the console. Grins innocently at Steve. He taps his temple. "We'll talk about why this caught you later, big boy."
Steve's warm as he watches the van full off. The song in his head doesn't change for another two weeks.
Anxieties! Attack!
WAIT NO
No, not me you fools! No! Not like this! Noooo!
there’s something really satisfying about the fact that sir arthur conan doyle was the most gullible motherfucker on the planet
sir arthur conan doyle: here is my oc, he is a super genius who solves all the mysteries using the power of deductive reasoning
also sir arthur conan doyle: i have deduced that these fairies are real as shit
sir arthur conan doyle: there’s only one way to determine if these fairies are real… i will give you girls these cameras, that i bought myself, and then i will develop the photos, so i know they haven’t been tampered with
some girls who took selfies in the woods with paper cutouts on hatpins: that seems reasonable
harry houdini, after showing his good friend how he got tricked by a con artist: so as you can see, anyone can make it seem as if they can talk to ghosts
sir arthur conan doyle: harry… i can’t believe you never told me you can talk to ghosts, for real, using actual magic
Doyle and Houdini’s relationship is the funniest thing in the entire history of the skepticism movement
Doyle was SO CONVINCED that Houdini had legit magic powers and could turn into smoke or some shit to escape things and Houdini was like “no seriously it’s a trick let me show you how it works” and Doyle was all “it hurts me that you won’t trust me with this secret”
If memory serves he eventually decided that Houdini was subconsciously magic and in denial
gotta get to the snow ball in style
gentle with me
touch tank 3/3
i think about this one so fucking often i had to clip it
that was like watching someone very skillfully assembling a stained-glass window just to watch someone else dropkick it
ao3 needs a “notify me when this is finished” button. different from subscribing. i don’t have the patience for single chapter updates but what i DO have is object impermanence. i want to forget this fic exists and weeks later get hit with an email notification and ignore everything around me to immediately read 50k in one sitting
might seem like a harmless quirk but once you start typing in exclusively lowercase you can never capitalize anything again outside the designated midsentence Gay Emphasis Zones or anyone following you for longer than a week will think you’re about to commit murder
what was that? i was so busy making normal human gestures to show i was listening that i wasn’t able to actually listen