I'm only saying this for your sake, but objectively, it's not a smart idea to bring politics into normal hobbies. You might lose supporters of your blog just because of your political stance, and that would be terrible since you're so amazing!! It's only a suggestion, but I really reccomend not bringing politics into anything.
im just a silly teenage creator here on tumblr makeing teetle art, but am not afraid to point out how STUPID some americans are being. rn i am writeing an essay for ELA class about the events of ICE agents detaining a 5 year old boy and his father on the way home from preschool. i am supposed to be analyzing both sides and finding the bias of recent news articles. i hope the teacher realized what she was getting into by handing out this assignment because i for one am becoming passionate :P
imma be so honest. i am finding no evidence of a ton of bias from the left side. im seeing evidence, quotes from school officials, pictures, and rencountings of the facts by whitnesses. then there was the right side. haha its almost funny. fox news, of course, suprise suprise. yall have no idea how hard it was to watch that video and realize people believe that bullshit because that was what it was. absolute bullshit this man was pulling out of his ass. he was useing ALL the fallacies. seriously, did no one listen to the teacher in high school ela class abt that shit? no evidence or whitness retellings, just a sad man trying to make people feel pity for the poor poor ice agents trying to make good in the world, shut the fuck up.
okay that is all im getting back to work 😜. if any of yall start defending ice i will be blocking you. sorry not sorry, but only cool smart people get to read my tmnt comics <3
OKAY sorry no lore art yet, i LOVED the veilisode but my regect design was overdue for an upgrade
now with MORE wings and an even MORE confusing body layout!!! he's a microraptor bc i wanted wings and i wanted to connect him to ptolemy SO they're both prehistoric creatures... (ptolemy would be arthropleura if i get around to it)
also variations... i like to think he was in even worse shape at some point but not being miserable and rained on 24/7 has gotta help the state of you somewhat
test runs of the design in action + comfort for me post-veilisode.... also somehow the first time i've posted zegect despite me shipping them since like november
and a ze reference but i didn't really change much with him
A list of 50 fics I like because I like listing fics, smiles.
This is reflective of my own reading habits, so feel free to recommend me other fics to read. Also feel free to let me know if any of the notes or placements are inaccurate, it's been a long time since I've read some of these (and some of these I am yet to finish, but I did find enjoyable).
Categories, subcategories: Siffrin or Loop heavy POV; Fics not containing / relationship tags; Fics containing / relationship tags; Loop & Siffrin, Loop/Siffrin heavy; Other character heavy POV; Mirabelle; Isabeau; Odile
Spoilers ahead!
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Siffrin or Loop heavy POV
Or third person POVs that largely follow Siffrin or Loop
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Quick non-AO3 fanwork recommendation:
Overkill AU, askoverkill by Starlightshore (Artist/writer) and Pedro Diogo (Co-Director)
"OVERKILL", for short, is an In Stars and Time interactive askblog/comic.
It's a Hard mode AU, everything is upped to extremes to the point of "overkill."
The main villain is theater themed and the Party Members now fit their given roles.
A new version is also being uploaded
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Fics not containing / relationship tags
Note: this is still the Siffrin or Loop heavy POV category, so gen fics from any other POV will be under the Other character heavy POV category. Fics with a focus on specifically Siffrin and Loop are its own subcategory two below this one, so Loop & Siffrin heavy fics also won't be listed here.
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secret passage by lunarleonardo
Bonnie & Siffrin
Two things happened at once, very fast.
One, the tile beneath Bonnie slid open. And, not expecting it, they lost their footing, letting out an alarmed yelp.
Two, Siffrin.
--
tldr; Siffrin and Bonnie fall into an ancient temple's trap, effectively being cut off from the group and left to rescue themselves from a very dark, very dusty dungeon. This is not as easy as it sounds.
Words: 21,940 | Chapters: 3/3
Note: partial Bonnie POV
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the chokehold of a broken family bond by ronzcaby
The King & Siffrin, Siffrin & Everyone
cause when you have no memories to hang on to, what else are you supposed to do?
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Words: 236,851 | Chapters: 50/50
Note: assassin Siffrin AU
a thousand ways to die by youreturnhome
Siffrin gets drunk with Isabeau and Odile and ranks the ways they’ve died. For therapy reasons.
This can only go terribly.
Words: 10,447 | Chapters: 1/1
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Bleeding in Monochrome by JustSalPals
Mirabelle & Siffrin, Siffrin & Everyone
You're the first one to notice.
(After the events of the game, red stayed in this world of black and white.)
Words: 3,061 | Chapters: 1/1
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Parallax by discatded
Mal Du Pays & Siffrin, Bonnie & Isabeau & Mirabelle & Odile & Siffrin
You're jealous. You're jealous of your own blinding Sadness. It waltzed right into your camp like it isn't something awful made of everything wrong with you and– and it, wretched inhuman thing that it is, has the guts that you never did. And it's spilling them all over.
Everyone but the kid seems casually horrified. Whether that's because it's you or because it's a Sadness, you'll never bring yourself to ask.
(Mal du Pays appears pre-canon! Yay!)
Words: 10,556 | Chapters: 1/1
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it was like they were looking at a stranger by OrigamiOrchids
Loop & Mirabelle
Siffrin wins. Loop disappeared in the aftermath, never to be known or seen. And yet Mirabelle visits the Favour Tree anyway.
Words: 3,687 | Chapters: 2/2
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Even in my fantasy, I can't commit to believing by Loafabun
Odile & Siffrin, Loop & Odile
You’re not sure what to think of Loop.
So far, you’ve come to two rather obvious conclusions during your time around them.
1) They’re… a star.
2) You don’t think they like you that much.
Words: 18,271 | Chapters: 3/3
Note: partial Odile POV. Aftermath of an Odile looping AU
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last words of a shooting star. by wonderfulwish
Loop & Odile
“That isn’t my blinding name,” you snap, standing up.
You’re not as tall as you seem to be. You know, you know, you know she knows. Just on height alone. Stars forbid you were given a few inches!!!~
~~~
Odile confronts Loop on her theory of who exactly they are. Things go about as well as you'd expect.
Words: 2,494 | Chapters: 3/3
Note: Odile looping AU
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Fics containing / relationship tags
This is still the Siffrin or Loop heavy POV category, so / fics from any other POV will be under the Other character heavy POV category. Fics with a focus on specifically Loop and Siffrin are its own subcategory below this one, so Loop/Siffrin heavy fics also won't be listed here.
Some of these aren't ship-focused at all, but they'll still go here if they have / tags.
Siffrin has craved blood for as long as they can remember. After so many years of wandering, he's come to Vaugarde in hope of finding answers, just as the King's Curse begins freezing the country in time. He's quickly losing hope, but when they come across a small group determined to save Vaugarde from the King, Siffrin decides to join them. They can't get the answers they want if the country gets frozen in time, after all. They'd never traveled with other people before. Siffrin doesn't expect to grow attached to any of them, but as time goes on, the thought of leaving them hurts more and more. Worse yet, they refuse to even entertain the thought of one of them discovering what he is and what he's done. They just know that if they find out, they'll hate them.
Words: 446,403 | Chapters: 61/?
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Thank you, kind wizard. For making me a frog. by Spinning_Planet_of_Love
With Siffrin's timelooping journey at an end, he walks away with a LOT of new information and trauma to process. Moving forward is a difficult feat, even with his family by his side.
Mirabelle suggests that, perhaps, keeping a journal to organize these thoughts and communicate his feelings to the others may help, so he decides to give it a try.
Words: 78,703 | Chapters: 19/?
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And if I were not myself, would this be easier? by rabbit_soup
Siffrin and his party's journey to Bambouche, and how he needs to learn to deal with what happened to him during the loops. Between nightmares, regaining his humanity, and his new-found PTSD, Siffrin is sure he's being a burden to his family. They, however, think otherwise.
Hopefully they'll make it to Bambouche in one piece.
Or
Siffrin is traumatized and his friends love him a whole lot.
Words: 63,086 | Chapters: 13/?
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Bloom by Level99Eevee
Isabeau/Siffrin
After breaking free of the loops, Siffrin is more than ready to move on and enjoy life again. They’re with their family—their friends—for another journey, one without the King’s Curse nipping at their heels, and everyone will be together for the foreseeable future. So Siffrin is fine. Great, even! The others don’t need to know that their experience in Dormont still hangs heavy as a noose around their neck.
They just need to get over it.
-
Or: Siffrin has trauma, learning to open up is a process, and the others realize the loops left deeper scars than previously thought.
Words: 41,424 | Chapters: 7/7
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Follow the stars back home by Loafabun
Isabeau/Siffrin
There's an island north of Vaugarde. You were never able to remember its name. So why now? Why after all this time?
It's so close. You can see it now.
You want to go home.
Inspired by a post on Tumblr by @/auncyen!
Words: 77,757 | Chapters: 16/16
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putting the pieces together by meltyicecream
Isabeau/Siffrin, Isabeau & Siffrin
Years after defeating the King, Siffrin tends to have "memory days," where everything falls out of their brain for a few hours, triggered by stress.
But everything in their life seems to be fine. He apparently has a house, a family, everything they didn't have when they traveled alone more than a decade ago.
What's making him so stressed out?
Words: 7,437 | Chapters: 2/2
Note: half Isabeau POV
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The love persists through it all. (The love persists through time.) by Pixxyofice
Isabeau/Siffrin
You are standing in front of a building. Nothing else is around- just a building. The building has a sign above a single door in big letters: TIME LOOP SURVIVORS SUPPORT GROUP. Hanging from that sign is a smaller sign reading Multidimensional!
... What the....
[...]
You let go of the door and look up as it clicks shut behind you.
You see
your family.
---
siffrin meets up with versions of his family who have suffered like he did. is this a blessing or a curse?
Words: 12,015 | Chapters: 1/?
Note: alt character looping AUs
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A Long Way to Go to Not Remembering by Incoure
Isabeau/Siffrin, Mirabelle & Siffrin, Odile & Siffrin, Isabeau & Siffrin, Bonnie & Siffrin, Loop & Siffrin, Loop/Siffrin, is the sloop romantic or platonic? who knows!, certainly not me. certainly not them.
You remember, and forget, and remember, and at some point you're so sick of forgetting that you make sure that the next time it happens, it sticks.
...
A you that doesn't have anything left to forget wakes up in a clearing they've never seen before, and deals with the consequences.
Words: 170,658 | Chapters: 40/40
Note: could also go in the Loop &/ Siffrin heavy category, but it felt a bit more party heavy so I wasn't sure?
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birth of a neutron star by OrigamiOrchids
Isabeau/Loop, Isabeau & Loop, Bonnie & Isabeau & Loop & Mirabelle & Odile & Siffrin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Isabeau/Siffrin
Loop joins their stardust's party on their journey to Bambouche, and notices their starry form is fading.
Isabeau sees something familiar in the way the new addition to his party acts.
Words: 11,498 | Chapters: 2/2
Note: half Isabeau POV
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La Robe de Loop by borfungus
Isabeau/Loop, Isabeau & Siffrin, Loop & Siffrin
Loop wants a dress. This means they have to talk to Isabeau.
Siffrin wants two of his favorite people to get closer, so his whole family can be together again. This is a win-win-win scenario, right?
Words: 13,182 | Chapters: 6/6
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Group nightlight: reserved for one by TheRantingSage
Loop & Odile, Loop/Odile
Loop doesn't want to be found out, really. Nothing they want less. And they're confident that, if they play their cards right, it won't happen.
So why does it bother them that Odile seemingly isn't even trying?
Words: 33,915 | Chapters: 6/?
Note: alternates with Odile POV
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Loop & Siffrin, Loop/Siffrin heavy
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In Blood and Stars by actingwithportals
Loop & Siffrin, Loop & Everyone
The Universe leads.
And you will fight with blood and tears to carve yourself a way elsewhere.
⁜⁜⁜
A post-canon exploration on Loop's adjustment to life beyond the confines of the Favor Tree.
Words: 143,334 | Chapters: 22/?
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None Forward & Two, Two, Two Steps Back by faedemon
Loop & Siffrin
In an alternate act five, Siffrin breaks in a different way than canon.
He and Loop go around and around and around. They both know what wish was made. They both know what traps them here. They both know what the condition is which, upon reaching the Head Housemaiden, so guttingly fails to be fulfilled. But Loop won't say it outright. And Siffrin won't look at it.
The fist opens. Hand turns. Fingers twirl. Again. And Again. You watch with mounting horror as your hand moves on its own, the actions becoming more frantic, more jittery, your chest starts to heave, stomach muscles spasming.
(Loop–)
[Stardust–]
They’re in your body. They’re in your body.
⯍
Or, after experiencing hundreds of grueling loops, Siffrin suddenly wakes up 3 months before they even started, on a bed in an infirmary, bandages wrapped tightly around their newly missing eye. Loop is there with them, too.
Words: 19,965 | Chapters: 4/?
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hold me close (don't let go) by Anonymous
Loop & Siffrin
It isn't often that Loop allows themselves to seek comfort after a nightmare. Siffrin is only grateful for the times he's awake to help.
Words: 1,704 | Chapters: 1/1
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Leading and Following by blueshine
Siffrin & The Party, Siffrin & Loop, Loop & The Party
Siffrin's out of the loops, but just as they start to be suspicious of what their allies remember from the loops, the Universe throws them a curveball.
(my isat secret santa entry for hallasammal on tumblr!)
Words: 14,250 | Chapters: 1/1
Note: dubious category placement on account of this being very Siffrin & The Party
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Uiscefhuaraithe by peachybutch
Loop & Siffrin, Loop/Siffrin
Uiscefhuaraithe (noun): the quality coldness imparted by water; that is, the trait of having been made cold by water.
After having fallen asleep in one of Southern Vaugarde's emergency shelters, Loop wakes up to the sound of a deafening crash. Suddenly, horribly, they have a lot of time to think about their Stardust, and the perfect life he'd won--the life they wish they could have had.
Words: 12,434 | Chapters: 1/1
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Memory of Keeping by Hazelnuthelper
Loop/Siffrin, Loop & Siffrin
Loop comforts Siffrin after a nightmare, and muses on their relationship.
In a world where they have nothing else, perhaps their stardust is something they can be allowed to keep.
Words: 2,631 | Chapters: 1/1
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To Cut You Open With a Knife and Find Your Sacred Heart by Hexea_Art
They didn't know how they remembered but they both knew that there are legends about these fae doppelgangers, that they wish for nothing more than to steal the heart of the person whose face they stole, for power, for acceptance, to trick more people, to lessen how uncanny they could be.
Either way, it's a death wish to be around someone who shares the same face.
So of course Siffrin and Loop decided to travel together.
Hello my darling Stardust~” Comes the now all too familiar voice from the window.
Siffrin turns to look at the intruder at the window, “Loop what are you doing here?” Siffrin says as if he wasn't expecting, hoping for them to show up.
“How rude! You know that you're supposed to invite your guests in, right?”
“That would be…” Siffrin glanced at Loop's fangs, blatantly being shown off to him, “a horrible idea.”
Loop let out a theatrical sigh, “You wound me. Besides~”
Then with a sharp smile Loop leaned forward grabbing Siffrin's chin.
“That hasn't stopped you before, now has it~”
(A vampire Loop au :3)
Words: 16,205 | Chapters: 5/?
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Infinite Mirror by Aniyha
Loop/Siffrin, Loop & Siffrin, Siffrin & The Party
Trapped in a time loop and without any safe options for satiating the hunger they feel, Siffrin is in a downward spiral. The only place he can seem to get a break from the tempting heartbeats of his party is the Favor Tree. Loop isn’t human, and their lack of a heart or blood to speak of makes them a respite alongside being the only one who remembers the loops. But as Siffrin’s senses grow stronger and their hunger becomes starvation, they start to hear a faint beat in Loop’s chest.
A beat that draws fangs to the night sky and shards to a black hole.
Part 1 of Embraced by the Stars
Words: 26,870 | Chapters: 2/2
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Death, Thrice Drawn by codacheetah
Loop/Siffrin, Loop & Siffrin
The reflection of your light flickers across his eye. Siffrin reaches out their hand, grazing it tentatively against the side of yours. Embarrassingly, you grab it and squeeze.
Despite how you must surely be blinding him, Siffrin doesn't look away.
You're not as brave as him.
Words: 1,693 | Chapters: 1/1
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raconte-moi qu’on puisse crier tout bas by bibliomaniac
After everything, Loop is struggling to find their place in the world. Siffrin is struggling to adjust to life outside the loops. Isabeau is struggling to balance his love for Siffrin with his need to keep them safe, alongside his own worries about Changing. Politely, things could be better!
But when Loop joins the party on their journey, things tilt even more drastically off course. They'll all need to reconcile their past with their present growing feelings and with the future they're beginning to want. Maybe they'll even do it, too.
ghostlight - a single lamp placed on stage to keep the theatre from being in total darkness after everyone’s gone.
After trying and failing to kill Siffrin to take his place, Loop tries to disappear. Siffrin makes them stay. They figure things out together.
Staying with Siffrin's party in Dormont's House of Change, Loop starts down the long, winding path towards recovery, carefully trying to navigate the complicated knot of trauma and grief that the loops have left behind.
Part 1 of ghostlight
Words: 86,075 | Chapters: 24/24
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i want to (be) like you by bibliomaniac
Loop/Siffrin
Siffrin is the prince of a small kingdom. Loop is a servant in their own home. They've been forced to stay inside for their own safety for almost all their life, until the world forgot about them—all the world except for their stepmother, who's been planning something behind the scenes...
But Loop has plans of their own. They're not particularly good plans, not really anything beyond complaining to a star that they want to know what it's like to be the prince they hate so much, but to their surprise, the star responds—not by making Loop a prince, but by giving them the guise of a star-creature at night.
It may not be exactly what they wanted. But Loop is going to make the best of it, and they're going to find out why Siffrin deserves a life of freedom so much more than they do.
(Except. Siffrin isn't really free, and Loop can't really bring themselves to hate him as much as they once did.
The star did warn them that what they were asking for and what they wanted were different things...)
Words: 10,913 | Chapters: 3/4
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like real people do by snapdragon_stories
Loop/Siffrin
Siffrin is sick, and you’re still alive.
You’re incredibly annoyed about both of these.
...
A one shot exploring loop's relationship regarding siffrin in the aftermath of everything, as well as their feelings towards themself.
Words: 4,793 | Chapters: 1/1
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Stray Italian Greyhound by rbt_lvr
Loop/Siffrin
You're not stupid. You can see the way stardust has been acting lately. How he lights up just a little more when he sees you under the tree, starts walking just a little faster, how their smile gets just a little more real. The way he ducks his head to hide in the collar of their cloak when you call them stardust, as if it’s a sweet pet name and not an inside joke for an audience of one. The light dusting of blush that rises to his face when you say something that implies you might care about him, even just a tiny bit.
You really should try and discourage their feelings. They'll fade eventually anyway, and it'll be easier for both of you if you just. Make him stop liking you, rather than waiting for it to happen on its own.
You can manage that, right? How hard could it be?
Words: 19,375 | Chapters: 1/1
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You, Here, With Yourself by Originia
Loop & Siffrin, Loop/Siffrin
You're doing this. You're giving this to them. You're encouraging something that... surely couldn't ever possibly backfire. Nope! Teehee!
"Anyways, let me put it this way for you, stardust... [You've gained the conversation topic (Touch Exposure Therapy)! When you loop back to talk to me, you can choose this option at any time! But only once per loop! Don't get greedy now!]"
-
Or: Loop helps Siffrin with their Touch Exposure Therapy, feelings are caught, and everyone is SUPER normal about it.
Words: 48,877 | Chapters: 16/19
Note: contains suggestive themes
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Other character heavy POV
Or third person POVs that largely follow other characters
Mirabelle doesn't know what to do. Not with her life, not with her faith, not with her own memory. Why does it feel like she's always forgetting something important?
Mirabelle is the Housemaiden. Isabeau is the Fighter. Odile is the Researcher. Bonnie is the Kid. And that's everyone!
It's raining in Dormont. If clouds cover the stars, are they still there?
Words: 261,434 | Chapters: 33/34
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No Angels In Limbo by Blueberry_Muffin_Massacre
Loop & Mirabelle, Loop & The Party
Loop had died. They deserved it. And now they were back to the start, sitting under the same tree, with an unsaved country and a clueless Siffrin.
They know the answer. The Escape Route. It's as simple as telling him. This time it'll be done and over with before the Loops even hit double digits.
They discover much to their horror that he is not the one looping.
She is.
Mirabelle is Looping, and Loop is still the Guide. With this burden comes questions of belief and purpose.
But as you get closer, you have to squint your eyes to make against the kneeling shape before the statue.
Eyes widening, you realize… it’s Siffrin, outlined in the dark.
He is lowered to the ground before the shrine, holding tightly a miniature statue of the Change God, incomprehensible muttering leaving their lips.
---
or, feeling betrayed by loop, and by proxy, the universe, siffrin turns to the change god in act 5. mirabelle finds him in the midst of his rambling prayer.
slight canon divergence.
Words: 5,469 | Chapters: 1/1
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Rippling out into the Source by Blazing_rain
Mirabelle & Siffrin
A ghost wanders the House of Dormont, unseen by all but three. Clad in white hat and cloak, they seem unaware of the world around them, acting so unlike its presence.
Mirabelle sees this ghost, and something feels off. Should she know them?
Words: 7,634 | Chapters: 1/1
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Isabeau
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Memories of Touch by dirtbagtrashcat
Isabeau/Siffrin
It’s the night before the end of the world, and Isabeau keeps remembering things that never happened.
Isabeau, freshly recovered from burnout after rushing through graduate school, stumbles across an ad for a lab position at the research institute where his idol, Dr. Odile Yamamoto, conducts her work. Willing to risk another bout of burnout to potentially work with the Dr. Yamamoto, he applies for the position and gets the job. However, in the process of applying, it quickly becomes clear that something sinister is happening at this institute. He decides to go forward and accept the offer—only to find himself in way over his head in a conspiracy far bigger than himself.
(Or: Modern AU/Sci-fi. Isabeau goes back into the world of science after swearing it off only to end up in the Vaugarde equivalent of Area 51 and finds Siffrin, a shapeshifter of unknown origins, trapped deep underground in a padded cell. Unfortunately, he falls in love. Is their romance doomed? Could Siffrin ever escape? What is Siffrin, anyway? And, importantly—how does Odile factor into all of this?)
Words: 33,697 | Chapters: 3/8
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Of Stars and Longing by Raaj
Isabeau/Siffrin
Months after saving Vaugarde together, Isabeau spots Siffrin lingering outside the window of his clothing shop. Naturally, he's excited! The Universe granted his wish!
...It still feels a little bad he had to wish for it, though. And something seems off with Siffrin.
Part 1 of No Loops AU
Words: 4,979 | Chapters: 2/2
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Odile
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Cup of Tea (or, On the Refutation of Cellular Memory Theory) by pragma (CarlileLovesAnime)
(Or: Odile is here in Vaugarde to learn more about herself. In doing so, she ends up learning about Mirabelle, Isabeau, Siffrin, and Boniface as well. From first meetings to found family, Odile considers the Expressions of Luck, Trust, Youth, and Victory (among others) on the quest to save Vaugarde.)
Words: 19,922 | Chapters: 1/1
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Heads or Heads by Brickman
After failing to reach the King, Odile is the one who finds herself able to travel back time. The fate of an entire country hinges on a coin flip, again and again. But she'll take this second chance and milk it for all it's worth.
She'll take this second chance, whether she deserves it or not.
Or: Sometimes being "smarter" just means you can screw up faster.
Words: 77,562 | Chapters: 37/37
Note: Odile looping AU
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Omission by AutisticSinosauropteryx
Bonnie & Isabeau & Mirabelle & Odile & Siffrin, Odile & Siffrin, Isabeau/Siffrin, just a bit of Isafrin!
Odile and the others comfort Siffrin through multiple breakdowns, but Odile has noticed a worrying trend of him leaving out vital information. When she pushes for the full answer and finally receives it, she’s horrified by what she learns.
Two years after their journey to defeat the King has concluded, Odile finds herself back in her oddly quiet home in Ka Bue. She's intent to enjoy her tentative break from travelling, but her home doesn't remain quiet for very long when there's a knock on her door and a very familiar face standing on her porch steps.
OR: Siffrin and Odile try to relax in Ka Bue together, but both are hiding something, and neither is very keen on saying exactly what.
Words: 36,296 | Chapters: 8/8
Note: starts Odile POV heavy, becomes less so
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Unlikely Friendship by Abyssal_Author_Artist
Mal du Pays & Odile
Siffrin has a secret to admit - they've been meeting up with their Sadness, Mal du Pays, occassionally. Well, more like it comes up to him, but same difference. And this time, it wants to hang out with Odile. Which is more than fine by her. She's had plenty of practice handling stray cats, and if it's anything like Siffrin, it's going to be at least something like a cat!
This ends with it using her as its own personal scratching post and her returning the favor. For relaxation reasons. Probably.
Words: 4,257 | Chapters: 1/1
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Not counted into the fic count - bonus fics I've written that I don't know how to have an opinion on:
HOW ABOUT THAT @somerandomdudelmao DISASTER TWIN REUNION, HUH
Went a little feral to the tune of 2.2K words of self-indulgence. What else is new?
~~~~~~~
Donnie can't sleep. More accurately, he won't sleep. Not until he's done. He'd never been one to leave a project unfinished; death and resurrection hadn't changed that.
He taps incessantly, repetitively, on a keyboard and screen, the motions long since past inputting data and now only serving to keep him awake. The repetition is soothing, easy, and - counterintuitively - he finds his head drooping forward into sleep-
And he snaps back upright. No. Not until he can confirm Leo is okay.
Leo is behind him, he knows. Breathing. In bed. Asleep. Very much alive. And-
He jumps and whips around as a thud sounds behind him. "What the-"
Leo is on the floor.
Well, that answers the question as to whether his twin is awake.
For a fraction of a second, part of him wavers uncertainly. He loves his idiot twin. The question he hasn't been able to answer is whether his reaction to Leo waking up will fall on love or idiot twin-
"Leo!"
He can hear the exasperation in his voice, and yep, it's the latter. He takes a knee next to Leo and hauls him into his arms, lecturing him all the while, and if he can hear the annoyance in his voice then Leo sure as hell can. Sleep deprivation for the purposes of keeping his brother's soul alight had done nothing for his temper. "I swear to God, all you had to do was make a sound! Why are you such a difficult patient?"
He deposits Leo carefully on the bed - "Sit still!" - and checks him over, running every scan he can think of and making sure his brother's new body really is in good working order, spouting increasingly irritated commentary all the while. Of course the fall didn't hurt him - Leo is tougher than that, and Donnie does better work than that - but he still can't help the rising anxiety in his throat.
This almost didn't happen.
"-stupid, stupid selfless idiot!"
Donnie almost couldn't save him.
"Grrhh-"
Leo nearly died for real. Permanently beyond Donnie's reach. Well and truly gone-
"Do you have any idea how close you were to having nothing left to save?"
And now here Leo is, in perfect health, sitting on Donnie's bed with a big dopey grin on his face as Donnie chokes on his anxiety and damn near shakes himself apart-
Oh for fuck's sake.
"Hey. Are you even listening?"
Leo speaks up for the first time since he's woken up, voice shaky from disuse. "D-Donnie?"
And that is not a goddamn answer to anything Donnie has been saying, because of course it isn't. It's Leo. He's always had his own priorities. "Yeah. No. You're not fucking listening." Donnie heaves a long-suffering sigh, sinking back into the routine comfort that irritation at his twin provides. "At least you're talking." Small favors. "Although I'm surprised you're not throwing your stupid jokes at me." Even smaller favors.
He stops short as Leo's hand closes around his wrist, drawing Donnie's arm to Leo's plastron. "You're real," his brother breathes, looking from Donnie's hand to Donnie himself with tears streaming down his face. "You're real!"
And then, in the space of a thought, Leo's joy breaks, his smile turning desperate. "Are you?"
For a moment, Donnie stares at his twin, wondering at the sudden change in expression. He takes a breath-
And the part of him that had lain dormant for so long after he'd woken up - the part of him that had been screaming for his twin's safety ever since they'd recovered the few scattered embers of Leo's soul - gasps to life, blooming like a time-lapse video of a flower and reaching to the edges of Donnie's soul. Leo had called it their twin sense, and Donnie hadn't had it in him to argue after a while. Whatever it is, it's back, connected to Leo's renewed presence, and-
Donnie's heart floods with emotions. Relief and joy sprout quickly and are nearly swept away in a tide of exhaustionanxietyfearfearfearfearFEAR-
But down beneath it all, steady against the rising wall of terror, is the little blue spark of hope that his brother always carried. His core. The thing that let him continue on in the face of insurmountable odds, and lent that same strength to everyone around him. A ninja's greatest weapon.
It's Leo. It's Leo-
And Donnie can't leave him alone in his fear. Not when there's no need for it. Not when they're safe.
He lets that breath out, and sits next to Leo on the bed. "Mhm. I'm alive. And you're alive. We're safe. The Krang are gone." That's all the news that's fit to print, or at least the most important parts. What else does he have to say?
Oh.
"I'm sorry I..uh…"
He's sorry he what? Died? Left a mess for Leo to deal with? Didn't do enough while he was alive to keep everyone else alive in turn after he was gone? Kept his brother's soul in a fucking mug, because that was the only way he could ensure he wouldn't break it while Leo was still fragile? All of the above?
…yeah, it's all of the above.
He owes Leo one hell of an apology, and he's never been good at any of this, so instead he shrugs haplessly and leans forward, pulling Leo into his arms and hanging on tight.
It's a matter of moments before Leo has him flat on his shell on the bed and is sobbing into his arms. Normally he'd hate seeing his twin cry, but it's proof of life - proof that Leo made it, that his soul is intact enough for him to still be Leo, that he's alive and awake and here - and Donnie will take it.
And if he's squeezing Leo back pretty hard himself, well, that's fine too. Nobody else needs to know.
~~~~~~~
Donnie is yelling at him.
Donnie is strong enough to have picked Leo up off the ground, well enough to be on his feet without support, running tests and reading Leo the riot act over his latest boneheaded maneuver - in this case, forgetting he was missing an arm and falling out of bed.
Donnie is yelling at him, because Donnie is here to yell at him.
And Leo is smiling, because he couldn't be happier. He lets the words wash over him, draping over his shoulders like a favorite cozy blanket that he'd lost so many years ago, and he basks in the warmth that is his brother's voice and smiles.
It's enough to interrupt the yelling for a question, though he doesn't really hear it - just keeps smiling, and says Donnie's name, and it's so nice to be able to say it with a smile now, because Donnie is here-
-he is, right? This isn't just a dying hallucination on Leo's part, right?
(It couldn't be- he remembers his death, remembers breathing his last, remembers being trapped- but this-)
He reaches out, taking Donnie's wrist in hand, and pulls his brother closer to him. "You're…real…" It certainly feels real - skin and scales, softer than his own, and his fingers barely fit all the way around the wrist instead of encircling them with room to spare - and he stares down at it, tears rolling down his face as he finally looks back up at his twin. "You're real!"
The Krang show you what you want to see.
The thought strikes him unbidden, turning his joy and relief to ice. It's a well-known fact: a Krang infection can show its host what they want to see, visions of comfort and family and home, and extract intel from the host's reactions. He knows that- he knows that, and-
And he'd died surrounded by Krang- and even if he couldn't see or hear or feel, he knows he'd been held captive-
But it's Donnie- he wants this to be real- he needs this to be real- he wants his twin back so badly he can't think, and the idea that this could be a Krang hallucination is almost too much to bear-
"Are you?" He can hear how choked the words are as they leave his lips, but he needs to know-
And Donnie stops, and sits down next to him, and tells him everything he wants to hear - everything he could've ever wished for. They're alive. They're safe. The Krang are gone. It all sounds too good to be true.
And then Donnie offers him an apology and a sad half-smile, pulling him into a strong hug-
And the ice in Leo's mind shatters in a flood of warmth as his twin sense opens for the first time since Donnie's death. He feels his twin's irritation, and deep-seated exhaustion, and a choking wave of guiltguiltguiltguiltguilt-
And beneath it all, steady and strong as ever, the thrum of unending determination, powered by an unfathomably deep well of love. It's the backbeat to the melody of Leo's life, the point-counterpoint to his own heartbeat- it's something he'd never had to live without until he did, but it's back, rushing in to fill the silence he'd known with the strength to go on and the knowledge that he is loved loved loved, strong and overwhelming and all-encompassing in the way only Donnie can love-
It's something the Krang could never imitate.
This is real. This is all real-
He throws himself against his twin, toppling them both over on the bed as he clings to Donnie, unable to stand even a fraction of an inch of space between them, as though he could push their hearts together through their plastrons, and he cries, sobbing out worry and terror and grief and the slow, crushing exhaustion of a losing battle finally lost. He cries as though the world was ending - and it had, once when the Krang had invaded and again every time he'd lost a member of his family, over and over until he'd sent his last hope through a portal that had cost his littlest brother his life and succumbed to death himself.
And now he's alive. Here, wherever here is, with Donnie. Clinging to his twin, and being held in turn as Donnie gently sits them both up, never letting go as Leo cries himself out.
It takes a while - long enough for Leo's gaze to settle into a stare and his thoughts to settle into a comfortable static. He's alive, Donnie is alive, and he has no fucking idea what else is going on, but he's just going to be okay with that for now.
His thoughts rouse enough to inform him of something wrong - the line of tension Donnie is carrying down his neck and over his shoulders. That won't do. Leo could try to massage it out with one hand, maybe try to get Donnie to talk about it, but Donnie never likes to talk about it, and Leo isn't one for slowly soothing away tension when he can just take an axe to the release valve instead. Plus, it gives him something definite to focus on, instead of…this whole situation. Whatever 'this whole situation' actually is.
Donnie had mentioned his stupid jokes, right?
"H-hey Dee?" His voice wavers from disuse, thick with tears, but he pushes through. "Why did- why did the tree buy a camera?"
"What?" Oh, Donnie is not going to see this coming. Excellent.
"To do a photosynthesis." It's nowhere near the level of pizazz he normally uses for a punchline delivery - he's still too tired and frazzled and clinging to Donnie entirely too hard for that - but that beautiful pause of a terrible joke sinking in tells him it had hit home nonetheless. Donnie moves - he can hear the telltale slap of face meeting palm - and then breaks down into helpless laughter, smacking the back of Leo's shell as the tension Leo had felt in his twin's shoulders abruptly relaxes. Good. It worked.
"This is so fucking stupid," is all Donnie manages as his laughter fades, and he slumps fully against Leo with a murmur. That's...abrupt. Sure, Leo had felt Donnie's exhaustion, but he hadn't realized it'd been that bad. He takes hold of Donnie, gently laying him down on the bed to rest-
Remember what happened last time Donnie fell asleep next to you.
He gasps sharply at the thought - not again NEVER again - and keeps his hand steady as he moves, laying both fingers gently against Donnie's neck and feeling for his pulse. It's easy to find, strong and steady and even, like it had been before the infection had taken Donnie's vitality and then his life.
But he's alive, and healthy, and sleeping. He's okay. And Leo-
Leo moves his hand to the side of his own neck. His pulse is also easy to find, quickened with the adrenaline of an unknown situation and multiple consecutive shocks to his system.
Okay. Take stock. Assess. Figure out a plan from there.
He's alive. Donnie's alive. The Krang are gone. And everything else…is a big fat question mark, with no easy answers and no indication as to where to begin looking for them.
Well.
Uh.
"What the fuck," Leo whispers to the room at large, as though the walls could answer.
~~~~~~~
(A world away and still very close, a younger pair of twins cling to one another the way a drowning man clings to driftwood: desperately, clutching tight, as though letting go will spell their doom. Neither of them know where the emotions came from, or why; all they know is that each of them are damn glad the other is alive, and they'll do everything they can to make sure that continues to be the case.)
I think one of the biggest struggles I've had writing Donnie is because I think he'd be so different from his own perspective vs an outside perspective
Like, outwardly he puts on a totally fake boy boy persona, his tone falls flat, and he's kinda dry and sarcastic a lot. He wants to info dump a lot so he comes off as somewhat nerdy
But inside? Or when we see past his persona? He's actually very emotional, we've seen him cry over Sheldon, he gets very passionate about his tech (which is like an art for him) and he's super passionate about his interests. He's not near as apathetic as we, the viewers, are led to believe. Like yeah sure, he's awkward as hell when it comes to comforting people, but he isn't emotionless. And that's what's so hard about writing him, for me. He comes off as too emotional, too thoughtful, compared to everyone else's writing of him, and I do have a tendency to make characters more emotionally intelligent but at the same time, Donnie isn't clueless. He's just kinda awkward cause he's an introvert. And he is actually pretty thoughtful, he thinks through schematics and stuff, he (partially) thought through the gifts he'd give his brothers in early s1, he considered his brother's weaknesses and how to help them, even if he got too caught up in excitement to think through how it'd affect them etc. but hey I get dumb when I'm excited too! It happens. He is thoughtful and he is trying
