welcome to my twistos mine

this is a shitpost blog in the skin of an aesthetic blog. bork.

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

no fucking way

[sparrowthemormon]

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

[sparrowthemormon]

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

[sapphire-wine]

[orteil42]

I must not explain the joke. Explaining the joke is the joke-killer. I will face my followers who did not get the joke. I will permit them to pass over me and through me

[orteil42]

you are making this so difficult

[targetedknowledge]

[saul-tortellini]

It was like the sun came out from behind the clouds...

[likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015]

Luis Camnitzer - The Photograph (1981)

[gastronauticsyd]

The Screenshot (2014)

[fredersen]

The Reblog (2014)

[toratiger-deactivated20211204]

Bahahahaha love this

[processintegrated]

The Unnecessary Comment (2014)

[grumpygreenwitch]

The Revival (2026)

[viralfrog]

[sonandheirofnothinginparticular]

[the-real-seebs]

Someone linked me this beautiful poster, and I'm just really impressed.

My contribution:

[best-of-inspirobot]

[tearlessrain]

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

[tearlessrain]

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[myfinalmessagefatdudesequalshot]

that is the most beautiful airfryer i have ever seen

[myfinalmessagefatdudesequalshot]

found it! bruno smart air fryer in mint green BZK-KZ02TW-GR

[masklayer]

Theirs a horse in the pingles

[phantomrose96]

I'm very very glad that my knee-jerk, gut-feeling, primal-instinct reaction to seeing a Default Influencer is embarrassment. I think this saves me from a lot of bullshit.

[phantomrose96]

Some lip-filler lady on enough Ozempic to euthanize a horse: "The sad truth is an elite lifestyle takes money and discipline. Buy these brands on credit if you have to. Skip meals."

Me: "Oh. Oh I'm physically experiencing the effects of secondhand embarrassment. You live like this? This is your life? Your interiority? If I was anything like this I'd kill myself I think."

[phantomrose96]

To be clear ☝️, absolutely not gender-exclusive. Some broccoli-haired shirtless 23-year-old man on enough trenbolone to euthanize a different horse starts talking about how to be a high-value male and I start thinking instantly about how I'd have 4,000 slugs use me as a jungle-gym before I'd want this man within cootie-contagion distance of me.

[phantomrose96]

[refuzz]

[phantomrose96]

Respect for my soldiers… she’s saving him… the hons…

[softichill]

I think abt this tiktok all the time

[grootficguy]

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

[rubensmuse]

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie

[70sscifiart]

Break time

[70sscifiart]

[70sscifiart]

[chongoblog]

Visit Original Link

Enjoy

[s-h-a-s-e]

[astertale-melody]

Everything used (op's list):

[chongoblog]

All of this and also “Enemy” by Imagine Dragons

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]