been thinking about one of the posts i reblogged earlier about how tenna Physically doesn't really fit into tv world. he doesnt fit very well in tv world where most Communal spaces are built to accommodate people other than him, like the green room. and he Definitely doesn't fit into castle town, where he is physically shrinking in on himself Both from the stress im sure but also because he just .... doesn't really fit.
what little we see of his personal spaces i think also is really telling. his castle town room is small. it looks like the green room but its barely anywhere close to how big tv world was, or how big the studio was. We don't even really see any of tenna's personal spaces in tv world, at least in terms of a hypothetical office or bedroom or changing room (if he even has one).
... the closest we come is that hallway full of TVs where you bypass the parental locks and then well... The cold place. Nothing in TV world seems to particularly be his size in terms of actual, liveable, communal space: its all sized for his crew and not for him. and the places that are are.... these wide, empty spaces. He fits well enough through the corridors and hallways, but we see him shrink himself in the green room. he doesn't fit there. and i do think tenna had a hand in building the studio but i don't actually think he thought of himself First when going into it. he considers himself an afterthought.
i think weve only really seen the tip of the iceberg in terms of how badly tenna is doing post chapter 3. theres smaller hints. hes putting up his facade as he always is. everything has crashed around him in probably the most traumatic way it could have and he doesn't know what to do with himself. and now hes somewhere deeply unfamiliar, that he Did not have a hand in creating, and he doesn't physically fit here. he Can't physically fit here. hes too big.
nobody is gonna be shocked when i bring this up bc i talk about it a lot + basically all of my tenna thoughts circle back to this bc i genuinely think it is like. an extremely important aspect of understanding him. But i think this is also like. a very big part of him being a disabled character. Tenna experiences size discrimination. when hes the most like himself, at his default big size, he is rarely accommodated for.
And even in terms of like, Perception of him (both in terms of like. in-universe what i think other darkners may think as well as some fan perception stuff) i think people end up thinking hes going to be violent or imposing or otherwise aggressive just because he's physically large. but hes... just not. hes silly and whimsical and sweet and a big pushover. despite his size, he's quite fragile.
his default size is big. like. i think thats the size he just kind of.... is. he can shrink yes, i think both controllably to an extent and uncontrollably in conjunction with his mental state. but hes big like that most of the time, at the times where hes most himself. and nowhere accommodates for him. hes a big, clunky CRT taking up room in a living room. a big, clunky CRT brought into a storage closet. and its making him miserable. <- says this with a big fucking grin on my face
