it never fails to amaze me how the stranger things fandom cannot stand fandom culture in any way.
why is shipping two characters together a death sentence?? like ive seen videos about byclair and half the comments are like "lucas has a girlfriend" "can you guys stop shipping will with all his friends" "this character isnt gay" bla bla bla, HAVE YALL EVER BEEN IN A FANDOM BEFORE???
people are so annoyingly bothered of two characters that arent together in canon being ship together its INSANE. if you dont like it just scroll??? why hate a ship that we KNOW its never gonna be canon. WHERE IS ALL THE WHIMSY AND FUN.
ALSO, ive seen people complain about AU's in twitter because they're set in a world that doesn't have anything to do with the original story... like bro. do y'all even know what an ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE is ??!?!!?!?!?! yeah bro i wanna read about fucking nancy wheeler and robin buckley in rival teams and secretly being together heavily inspired in heated rivalry i DO WANNA READ THAT ITS FUUUUNNNNN WHERE IS ALL THE FUUUUNNNNNN 😭😭😭
im irritated as fuck im irritated as fuck im irritated as fuck im irritated as fuck LET PEOPLE DO WHATEVER THEY FUCK THEY WANT TO DOOOOOOOO WHYYYY DOES IT BOTHER PEOPLE SO MUCH JESSUUUUUSS CHRIIIIIST
summary: 1,2k. a flustered robin finally snaps and kisses the girl she’s been obsessing over, turning a normal shift into the dizzy beginning of something real.
cw: flirting that feels illegal, robin being a disaster, mutual pining, gay panic, english is not my first language xx.
currently playing: lunch
Robin Buckley realizes she’s in trouble the very first time you walk into Family Video.
Not normal trouble — not “Steve shelved the pornos wrong again” trouble — but the kind of trouble that starts in her stomach and ends in her chest and makes her feel like someone plugged her into an electric socket.
It’s the kind of trouble where she starts fixing her hair without realizing she’s doing it.
The kind where she reorganizes the New Releases section every Wednesday because that’s the day you always show up, pretending not to know Robin has noticed that pattern.
And today is no different.
The bell over the door rings, and Robin stiffens like someone hit pause on her anatomy. Her hands freeze mid-motion, a stack of tapes wobbling dangerously.
“Oh my God,” Steve mutters from behind her, “she’s back. Try to act less—”
He gestures vaguely at her entire existence. “—you.”
Robin kicks him in the shin.
Then she looks up.
And there you are.
Bright. Warm. Effortlessly pretty in that way that makes Robin feel like she has to relearn how to breathe. Your hair’s a little messy from the wind, your lips shiny from chapstick, your cheeks slightly flushed.
You smile when you see her.
“Hey, Buckley.”
Robin nearly drops the entire tower of tapes she’s holding.
“Hi. Hey. Hello. Hi. You’re— early. Earlier. Than usual. Not that I track that.”
You laugh, and the sound hits her straight in the spine.
“I got out of class early,” you say. “Thought I’d stop by.”
You always “stop by.” Robin has built an entire religion around those words.
She tries to respond, but her mouth is doing that thing where it stops functioning.
“Cool. Totally cool. Absolutely cool. So cool.”
Steve groans like he’s being tortured.
You lean your elbows on the counter and Robin’s brain immediately leaves her body.
“So… any recommendations?”
Robin nods rapidly. Too rapidly.
“Yep! Yep, I have — many. So many. A totally normal amount of many. For you. For watching. For things.”
She reaches blindly behind her and grabs the first VHS her hand touches.
“This!” she declares proudly.
You look down.
“Robin… this is a documentary about corn.”
She wants to die.
“Corn is very… informative?” she tries. “Very educational. People like corn. I like c— I mean I don’t like corn, not like that, it’s not a kink or—”
You laugh so hard you have to cover your mouth. Robin actually considers fleeing the country.
“You’re cute,” you say, eyes sparkling.
Robin goes still.
Everything around her — the humming fluorescents, Steve stacking tapes, the fan whirring overhead — disappears.
“What?” she croaks.
“I said you’re cute.”
You tilt your head, eyes glinting.
“And I think you get nervous around me.”
Steve claps a hand over his mouth, looking delighted.
Robin is melting. Literally melting.
“N-nervous? Me? Pfft. No. Never. I’m— I’m fine. Totally fine. Super fine. I’m like the opposite of nervous.”
You just look at her.
She caves within two seconds.
“Okay yes maybe slightly nervous but only because you’re— you’re—”
She swallows.
“You’re distracting.”
Your smile softens.
“Good distracting?”
“The best kind,” she blurts.
The air thickens. Like honey.
You walk around the counter. Slow. Intentional. Like you’re giving her time to stop you.
Robin doesn’t. She couldn’t if she tried.
You stop in front of her, close enough that she can smell your perfume — something warm and sweet and absolutely illegal.
“Robin,” you murmur, fingers brushing the hem of her vest, “do you want to hang out after your shift?”
Robin almost passes out.
“Hang out… like… a date?” she whispers.
“If you want it to be.”
Her chest tightens in the best possible way.
“Yes. Yes, I— yeah. I want it to be. I want… you.”
You blush.
“I want you too.”
Robin makes a tiny, helpless noise and Steve does a victory dance in the background.
You ignore him completely.
“Can I…?”
Your eyes flick to her lips.
Robin nods before you finish the sentence.
And you kiss her.
It’s soft at first — cautious, like you’re asking instead of taking — but then her hands slide to your waist and your fingers curl into her hair and everything warms and deepens and turns into something hungrier.
It tastes like chapstick and adrenaline and every gay panic Robin has ever experienced condensed into a single moment.
When you pull back, your foreheads touch.
Robin whispers, “Holy shit.”
You smile. “Good holy shit?”
“The best holy shit.”
You kiss the corner of her mouth and whisper, “I’ll wait for you.”
Then you walk out the door, leaving Robin breathless and pink and very, very alive.
Steve turns to her with his hands on his hips.
“You’re buying me dinner. I had to watch that happen.”
Robin flips him off.
It’s almost dark when Robin steps outside, heart pounding like she just ran a marathon without moving.
You’re sitting on the curb, swinging your legs, smiling when you see her.
“There you are,” you say softly.
“There I am,” Robin echoes, feeling suddenly shy.
You stand, brushing off your jeans.
“So… date?”
Robin nods. “Date.”
“Okay then.”
You offer your hand.
Robin stares at it like it’s the most important question she’s ever been asked.
She takes it.
Your fingers interlace immediately.
The contact sends a jolt through her that borders on supernatural.
You start walking — nowhere specific, just together — the streetlights flickering on, casting your shadows close.
Robin risks a glance at you.
You’re already looking at her.
“What?” she asks, cheeks burning.
“You keep smiling,” you say. “It’s cute.”
Robin almost trips over her own feet.
“I just… I like this. You. Being… allowed to look at you without pretending I’m not looking at you.”
Your thumb brushes her knuckles.
“I’ve been looking at you for weeks.”
Robin stops walking.
“You— what?”
You step closer, chest nearly touching hers.
“I didn’t come to rent movies, Robin.”
Your voice drops.
“I came for you.”
Robin makes another tiny noise she cannot control.
You lean in, your breath warm on her cheek.
“Can I kiss you again?”
She nods, and this kiss is slower — deeper — the kind that spreads heat all the way to her ribs. The kind that makes her feel claimed, chosen, wanted.
The kind she’s been dreaming about without admitting it.
When you finally break apart, lips brushing hers, you whisper:
“God, you taste good.”
Robin feels her knees become theoretical.
You grin. “Come on. I’m hungry.”
Robin is dazed. “For… food?”
You pull her closer, smirking.
“Yes. Eventually.”
Robin is pretty sure she stops breathing.
And the two of you keep walking — hand in hand, smiling like idiots — already rewriting each other’s lives without even noticing.
⤿ notes ─ english is not my first language, so i might make some mistakes while writing. please be kind and patient, thank you!
⤿ summary ─ dean has a one night stand with a woman he met on a bar; he knows he can't be with her after, but she still captivates him.
⤿ warnings ─ smut. a mention of dean being sad thanks to his dad. lowkey possesive dean ??? blink and you missed it. dean being a little bit of a tease. the woman is also a little bit of a tease, so they match eachother. a bit of a praise kink for both of them. dean being turned on by lipgloss. lowkey sad ending.
She said he could call her Kat, but a few days later when Dean stole Sam’s laptop and searched her name on the web, the results came clean, like she never existed. It wasn’t a surprise, but deep down, Dean hoped that for once, she would’ve let the truth slide. That when he searched for her name, it would’ve really been Kat. But her rules were clear; They had one day together. Just one, no more. And then, she would disappear, no trace behind, no name to follow, no car plates or a number to call. And stupid Dean Winchester, he was all in the second he saw her at the bar.
His eyes focused on her hair, that beautiful long, black hair that feel down her back. And then he saw her face, her pretty and shiny red lips covered in gloss, Dean knew he couldn’t let her get away.
So they talked, a few hours. More than it usually took Dean to convince a woman to go out with him. But time went fast, and by the moment he realized how late it actually was, they were already in a five star motel that she paid in cash.
Dean usually left after sex. He had to go back to his own motel, eat food alone, try to forget the emptiness inside his chest, being happy only when his dad was not around, and since the past few days, his dad had been in a hunting trip, he considered them pretty good. Not this time. He stayed the night. Trying to fool himself with the idea that it was just because the bed was comfy, and the food in the mini fridge was fine. In reality, he was way too interested in Kat for his own good.
She looked at him with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen, and the absolute satisfaction in her face whenever he was around, whenever he did what she asked, it was poetic in a way that left him wanting more and more.
She was classy. She had large boots with a platform, skinny jeans that seemed high quality, and a designer t-shirt that probably was way more valuable than Dean’s car. She also had this feather jackets, that in other circumstances Dean would find completely ridiculous, annoying, a turn down. Not when it came to Kat. He was so intrigued by her, by the way she moved and the whispers in his ear, the smell of her hair, that he saw being sprayed with a Dolce & Gabbana perfume when she was getting ready, he could never find it annoying.
He thought that maybe part of the charm in the young woman was the fact that she never revealed too much. During the course of the night he found that she was rich, richer than Dean could ever been in his life. He learned that she was an Ivy League student, and that her parents didn’t cared enough for her to bother whenever she disappear into the suburban areas of their state.
Kat looked at Dean. The sunset in the horizon made her face shine, as she took the pack of Malboro cigarettes out of her pocket─Is it okay for me to smoke in your car?
Dean shrugged, one hand on the wheel and another one on her thigh. He could feel her skin burning under his touch, and it felt just right for them to be like that at the moment. He knew it wasn’t going to last. He knew it, because she told him since the beginning; It was a night together, another day maybe, but no more. No research, no contact; She would vanish, and Dean would stay forever with the memories of the magical summer night, wondering if it ever truly happened. But it was real, it felt so real─Yeah, sure.
She lighted it up. Kat took a drag, and the edge of the cigarette let the smoke go up to the roof. Dean knew it was going to stink, but he didn’t cared. He was way too busy placing his attention in the way her lips wrapped around the little stick, the red stain of her gloss in the base.
Kat saw him staring. She smiled, and leaned to kiss him, taking Dean by surprise. But her lips were soft against his, and he could taste the nicotine in her tongue, a part of the smoke she caught in her mouth was exchanged between them. Dean almost closed his eyes. He wanted to get lost in her insides, but he needed to continue driving. So instead, he placed his hand in the back of her head, and pulled her away a little bit, reluctantly─Honey, I need to keep driving…
Kat left a kiss in his neck, making him shiver─Okay─She said innocently, and sitting back on her place. Like it never happened.
Dean didn’t wanted to continue driving, because it was still half an hour of road to the city. And then, he would take Kat to the subway and she would enter the line that would lead her to a street, two blocks away from the mall she left her convertible Lexus parked, and would get lost forever. At least that’s what she told him she would do. It was the end. Dean tried to ignore it, because ignoring that fact was easier than recognizing the absolute urge to kiss her again, to lead her into the back of his car, to try to convince her to stay. He was prideful and never begged. He wasn’t going to start now.
─I like your car─Kat said, looking through the window.
─I like it too─Dean answered.
She smiled─How much do you want for it, Dean?
─Not for sale.
Kat turned her head over to see him─Really? I could give you $50,000 dollars. Cash, you won’t get in trouble with the bank.
Dean stopped looking at the road, to focus his eyes in the gaze of the woman that was already looking at him─Not for sale.
─$100,000 dollars. Still cash─She offered again.
And God, it was way more money than the actual price of the car. Let alone, better than the actual price of an Impala 67 in great conditions. Still, Dean smiled─Not for sale, sweetheart. It was a gift from my father.
Kat shrugged her shoulders. She seemed sad when they talked about parents─Okay─Some silence. A few minutes, and then she spoke again─My dad was never the type to do gifts. He was never the type to show love, whatsoever.
Dean stayed silent. He wasn’t expecting the suddenly urge of confession, but he also wasn’t going to ruin it for her. Kat interpreted the silence as an approval to keep talking─My mom is the contrary, actually. When they divorced, she stayed with a big part of the enterprise and started to gift me lots of things to avoid the guilt. She bought me a Barbie Mansion and everything.
─What does your mom’s company do? ─Dean asked, and at the very same second he knew he wasn’t getting an answer.
─Sorry, that’s off…
─Yeah, I know. It’s off the rules─He said, in an already rehearsed phrase.
Kat only let him know whatever she liked. Dean could ask, and it was like playing the roulette with the questions. Sometimes she would answer, sometimes she would not. And other times, she would reveal the information herself without having to express the doubt. It was guessing, and pushing a little bit, and then watching. It was like some kind of primal game and Dean was fascinated with it.
After a brief silence, Kat looked at him again─What time is it?
He looked at the old, barely functioning watch he carried─6:00 pm.
─We have time─She said, as she unbuckled her seatbelt and turned off the cigarette by pressing it against the dusty ashtray that Dean had in his car.
Dean smiled a little bit. The doubt, the little annoying feeling that had started to settle after the vulnerable conversation between them, vanished in a second─Time for what?
─You know what─Kat hummed in his ear. He didn’t needed to be told twice, and slowly drove to the side of the road.
The Impala fell off the cement to the green grass in the side, near the sign that asked to not throw trash in the place. Dean parked the car by a big elm, the shadows barely letting the brief sunlight draw dark images in their eyes, protecting them from the outside view. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic setting, and still somehow, the sun over their heads and the big leafs that reflected their beautiful designs over the car hood made it magical.
In a second, Kat was already on top of him. Dean groaned while she moved on his lap, her hips against his, as she placed her hands in the base of his neck. When they started kissing, his hand flew over to her hair, his whole palm being big enough to cup her head. Some locks of hair got intertwined in between Dean’s fingers, and he closed his hand into a fist. Kat let out a small moan, while he pulled her closer and closer, trying to reduce the space between their bodies to zero, moving a little bit to adjust.
─Keep doing that, yeah?─He said in between the kiss they shared. It was passionate, it was raw, and he could barely contain himself when she rolled her hips again, her thighs straddling him to the seat. There was something so dirty about it, about the way Dean would pull her hair carefully, about her hips rolling in his lap, the mist inside the car tinting the windows.
Kat stopped kissing his lips, to start placing her mouth on his jaw, his neck, under the earlobe. Everywhere she could reach. Dean let her. He placed the arm that wasn’t on her hair around her waist, and pulled her closer, like if doing so could make her stay after that moment. Dean could feel her smiling, before she was pulling away for a second to place her hands in his lower abdomen, near the starting line of his jeans, one of her fingers tracing the area, painfully slow, going up and down. He shivered under her touch, involuntarily, raising his hips a little bit─Fuck─Dean said, throwing his head back.
Kat’s hand started crawling up his chest, taking Dean’s shirt with her, revealing the bare skin to her eyes. He stopped holding her hair and hip, and flexed his arms in a way that made it easier for her to take it off. When she did, Dean couldn’t contain himself─Do you like what you see? ─He asked, that petty smile on his face when he realized she was passing her gaze through the entirety of his body in a very undisguised way.
Instead of playing into his game and denying it, Kat crossed her arms, looking at him. She was imposing, sitting in his lap, taller than him for just a few centimeters─Actually yes, pretty much. You’re a sexy man.
Dean could feel his cheeks burn. He answered, in the same playful tone, trying to ignore the feeling that started to settle in the base of his stomach and in between his legs─You’re making me blush─His tone was playful, even sarcastic, so it could pass as a joke. It wasn’t a joke, not really. The need was consuming him.
She smiled─You’re being bratty. I should give you nothing, leave you like this─Kat’s tone was firm as she moved slowly, teasing─You don’t deserve it.
Her words moved something violently inside Dean’s stomach. He wasn’t the type to beg, never. But right there, at that moment, he felt like he almost could do it. But being responsive and unbothered was way more fun; Dean liked the foreplay as much as he enjoyed everything else─God, you’re so hot when you go all bossy─He murmured, kissing her again, his mouth hungrier than ever. His teeth crashed against her bottom lip, and he bit it slightly, tasting, feeling, needy.
After a few minutes, Kat separated from the kiss, and started to trace her way through his face, neck, chest. Her lips were everywhere again. The lip-gloss had already started to fade, and Dean found it extremely upsetting; He wanted it to be visible, an almost animalistic desire of being hers. The oily texture of the first kisses thanks to the excess of product in her lips made him feel weirdly turned on, the marks in his jaw and neck were still there, and when he lifted his right hand from Kat’s hip to redirect the driving mirror in his direction, the reflection of his face and Kat’s back looking right at him, the arousal took over his body; In the image he was seeing, Dean was all covered up in the red marks of Kat’s lips, temporally tattooed into his skin.
Kat saw him staring at something behind her, so she turned around her head; The movement making one stripe of light that came through the window hit directly her face, allowing him to see her expression clearly, all swollen lips and ecstatic eyes. She wetted her lips, looking at him again─Would you like me to put on more lip-gloss?
─Would you like to? ─He asked.
─Of course, we can do whatever you want─Kat answered, moving her torso a little bit to take her purse that was sitting in the passenger seat, still straddling him with her thighs. The two seats in the Impala were classic, very different from new cars, and it didn’t had the central compartment; Both the drivers and passenger seats were, in reality, one big seat inside the car. So it didn’t take her much effort to barely bend a little bit and grab the bag─I’m enjoying this too.
─Kinky, don’t you think? ─Dean always had to make a joke, no matter the moment. It was his usual reaction to being nervous, and excited, and turned on, and sad. It was his usual reaction to everything vulnerable, in reality. And sex was very enjoyable for him, but it also required a certain level of vulnerability.
Kat just winked, while she took out the lip-gloss, applying a considerate amount on her lips. Dean watched her, the way her hand moved slowly to trace the curve, that little scar near the corner of her mouth, the soft and sticky cape of glossy oil that covered it. When she finished, she leaned in again to kiss him.
It was a hungry kiss, urgent. The strawberry taste of her gloss would stick with him for a few days, and even weeks later, Dean would still think about it. He let her kiss him, as he slipped his hands up her body his fingers entertained with the edge of her shirt. Kat placed her fingers on his shoulders, sliding them slowly through his chest, as Dean raised up her shirt and took it off.
Then, in a quick and soft movement, he bent them both to straddle her against the seat. Kat’s legs were still at his hips, and she folded them to hold herself against him. Dean leaned, his muscular body hovering over hers, protective. He held himself up by placing his right hand in the leather spot of the car between Kat’s shoulder and face, while his other hand touched the skin of her belly, tracing its way up, playing with her breast. She smiled─A little bit eager, huh?
Dean was about to kiss her again, and stopped his way in the middle─If you want me to stop…
─Who said anything about stopping? ─Kat answered. And for the first time since last night, for the first time in all the shared intimate moments they had, Dean could see her mask break for an instant. She wanted that to happen as bad as him. She needed it to happen.
He kissed her jaw, going down eagerly, burying his face in her neck. Kat smelled like expensive perfume, and her skin tasted sweet. Her hands flew to his hair, holding Dean in place, as he continue to lick and bite everywhere he could reach, sucking, little red and purple marks appearing almost immediately, marking. He couldn’t remain with her, but he was about to make damn sure a part of him lingered over for the next days after it ended.
Dean’s hands caressed her hips before hooking his fingers in the waistband of her jeans, pulling them down. The weather outside was cold, but the atmosphere in the car was intoxicating. Kat sat back, lying against the passenger seat door, to take off her boots. When she finally finished, Dean helped her to get rid of the trousers and her underwear.
─I’m going to make you feel so good─Dean murmured, as he crawled to her, kissing her neck. His knee was placed in between her legs, as he started unbuckling his belt. Kat watched him do it, her hand over his thigh. Even through his pants, the contact of her hand was warm, the type of heat that spread in his veins and rushed his need for more of that feeling.
There was something so carnal, and still soft, about the way that Dean wrapped his arms around her torso. He was desperate, as he caged her against the seat, the leather under them making it’s respective sound at the movement. Kat moaned, hands around Dean’s biceps, her fingers so pressed that it would surely leave a mark later. It was so much. It was hot, and intense, and the feeling of him all inside, over and around her was overwhelming. Kat wanted to get lost in that feeling forever─God, Dean…─She wanted to say something more, but it didn’t occur to her what phrase exactly could describe how she was feeling.
He could taste the smoke in her mouth still. The way the natural lights outside the window tinted her face in different tones, the shadows of themselves projecting into the walls of the car, Dean could never forget it. It was part of what made the moment unique, part of the immortalization of her person, the reason the memory of their affair would stay with each other even when they were gone.
─Do you think I’ve already earn it, huh? ─He groaned, his mouth going down from the side of her head, dragging his lips along her cheek and her jaw─Am I already deserving of this?
Kat opened her eyes, smiling a little bit, as she pulled his head up until their lips were almost touching, the ghost of her mouth over his was driving Dean insane─Yeah, you’ve earn it.
Their kiss was a complete fusion of their bodies, all tongue and teeth, hungry, desperate. The warm excitement started to build up in Kat’s belly, as she chased the higher point. She felt drunk, the smell of Dean’s shampoo in her nose, the feeling of his hard muscles under her fingers, his tongue everywhere and still, Kat wanted more. He talked her through it, telling her how beautiful she was, how amazing she felt─I want you to feel good, yeah? Let me take care of you, let me handle this, I’m going to make you feel so full.
Kat raised her head, a moan leaving her mouth at the words, the firm tone in it, like it wasn’t just a goal but something that he knew was going to happen─Keep going─She murmured.
─You look so pretty like this─Dean wanted it all; He felt like he could drown in the waves of pleasure that followed her release, the way her legs wrapped around his hips to keep him close, the sounds that came out of her mouth, and lead to his. Dean knew he was going to miss her, that nothing would ever be the same after that day, but he continued to avoid thinking about it, because right at the moment, he had her. He had her, and he was going to do anything in his power to remember every inch of her face, her body, the sound of her voice and the pitch of her laugh. He was determined to remember her.
When things calmed down, they kept quiet. Dean was thinking about a way to make conversation without fucking things up, when Kat raised her head to meet his eyes─Thank you, Dean. Really. You gave me the best day of my life, I’m never going to forget this.
He didn’t say anything. Dean ruminated on the possibility of being honest, telling her that he was never going to forget her, that he wanted her, that he felt lonely and sad, and that the day they spend together was the most exciting thing that ever happened to him. He wanted to tell her about his job and his last name. Instead, he smiled a little bit─Thanks─He said, trying to ignore the absolute crushing hole inside his chest.
im so glad people are talking about the huge problem that keeps happening in fanfics when it comes to fully disregard the canon when it comes to the sexuality of the queer characters in order to clearly fulfill a personal fantasy of imagining said character with either a man or a woman.
im appalled by the insane number of straight fics about Johnny, at that point just write rpf. not to mention there is already a straight character you can write about so taking his self away is just so??
LITERALLY, like theres a hole bunch of straight character you can write about and honestly i dont think joseph would be really happy if he happens to know about this 😭😭😭 i think i've only seen like 3-4 m!oc x johnny its really weird idk
can i talk for a second the way some people have no respect whatsoever of characters sexualities, especially men when it comes to writing fanfiction? like i mainly read oc x character and it happens a lot that, per example, i see will byers x fem!oc or newt (tmr) x fem!oc and lately i've been seeing a lot of johnny sinclair (we were liars) x fem!oc and i think its really disrespectful 😭😭 and when the authors are told about it they simply delete the comments or just ignore it. but i haven't seen it with women in that matter and idk it seems strange to me because its literally the same as if i wrote a fanfic about Vi (arcane) with a man, ITS ODD.
and a lot of people also say like "it's not that big of a deal" BUT IT IS and its extremely important for representation of any kind of queerness in media and by writing a gay man having a relationship with a woman you're completely erasing a big part of the character.
imma add the fact that having a HEADCANON about something that's not CONFIRMED its FINE, but completely changing whats canon and ignoring that its not okay.
I don’t think people actually gauge just how traumatic Shauna’s birth was. She went into labor in the middle of a blizzard. Shauna is an extremely private person. She had no choice but to give birth in front of a bunch of teenage girls who had no idea what they were doing. She was completely exposed emotionally and physically. Then Misty, the only one who had some medical experience, had a breakdown and left. The only adult didn’t even try to help. Instead, he covered his ears as if her pain was an inconvenience.
The placenta came out first. A literal medical emergency. So what did they do? They started praying to the tree entities, something Shauna made clear she wanted far away from her baby.
Shauna almost died. They thought they lost her when she passed out. In this state, she had a dream that the baby lived, only for her teammates to brutally eat it. This dream was so vivid that she believed it was real. She woke up to find the baby dead. Shauna likes to grieve in private. She had to grieve loudly in front of everyone as they pitied her because she had no where else to go. This lasted for days. She held her baby’s corpse in her arms until the snow passed.
Just weeks after she gave birth to her dead baby, they asked her to butcher a 13 year old boy who she was close to. No one stepped in. And before this, they wanted her to slice her friend’s throat as she looked her in the eye. Totally normal thing to ask of a girl who isn’t only actively grieving her baby, but her best friend who she inadvertently killed too.
To top it all off, they talked about how her dead baby was a sacrifice for the wilderness and that they expect something in return. They treated her baby like a small thing to be exchanged. Months later, they continue to do this by calling to the baby for guidance in a ritual. Shauna never wanted that. She beat Lottie to near death to express her dislike for their use of her baby. But do they listen? No. She had to dig up the baby and move its grave just to get some privacy because asking for it won’t work.
It really isn’t that hard to grasp why she holds so much resentment towards them.
HELLOOO IM ALIVE, i posted some recs today <3 sorry for the delay and inactivity i got back to school and ive been kinda busy, but thank you so much for the support!!
