[hotvampireadjacent]

[junewild]

incredible innovations on the beverage front

[openingadoor]

[catstrat]

very funny bit happening in the replies

[dogpuppy]

[milf--adjacent]

Nothing in the rule book says a dog can't play basketball. There are a couple rules against trans women, however, so she'll have to leave.

[3000s]

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

[3000s]

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[resident-idiot-simp]

[crazy-brazilian]

[commanderchr1st]

bro, go to Jimmy John's and ask for the Fetty Wop meal. The looks on their faces won't change and they'll give you a buffalo chicken wrap and buffalo chicken flavored chips with a drink of your choice.

[commanderchr1st]

this is not a bit but a grim reality

[doctorworm7kbs]

just learned from my friend who works at Jimmy John's that the parentheses in the meal name caused a nationwide software glitch for 24 hours that made it so the order was free. Her store had to cancel hundreds of orders that day.

[commanderchr1st]

Fetty Wap infinite meal glitch at Jimmy John's

[needsmoreexplosions]

bro lets go to jimmy johns and order the little bobby tables meal

[qqchurch]

[pixeljade]

more than anything i want a world where a trans girl realizing she is a trans girl faces zero fear from that realization and subsequent coming out. Where she can say "Oh sweet, I can just be a girl? Sign me up!", no worrying if shes girl enough, no worrying if society will accept her, no worrying if she'll be an attractive girl as she transitions, no worrying at all in any way shape or form.

[penny-anna]

Cross stitch kit instructions: make sure you wash your hands before touching the aida to make sure you don't get any chocolate on it

Me: lmao what kind of idiot gets chocolate on their aida

Me, later:

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[gondorrevealparty]

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

[gondorrevealparty]

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

[transmechanicus]

Modern vampire who has spent the last 70-ish years of their immortality primarily being slutty in nightclubs and non-lethal snacking on hookups shocked and uncomfortable that most vampires older than the lightbulb are really into torture and cruelty and eating babies alive. Super excited to finally meet his own kind and then oh no. oh fuck. time out wtf are they doing. this is profoundly unsexy they bit that guy’s arm off and are letting him crawl around screaming and crying. there’s not even any kissing or grinding or club music. is this normal?? i am Going to throw up i’ve gotta get these poor ppl out of here. askjeeves how to smuggle 30 naked prisoners (assorted genders) out of vampire mansion time sensitive.