fuck it. names are too complicated. I’ll respond to anything. If you yell “hey shithead” in my general direction I’ll turn around 8 times out of 10
the 2 times i dont respond is because i was thinking about that one time I saw a moth the size of a dinner plate and I didn’t hear you
I’m sorry to dig into your traumas but please,,, tell me more about the moth
okay picture this: im about seven and my family are on holiday & we’re at a restuarant, sitting near a window. im eating my dinner when I hear this massive THUD noise and see something bounce off the window. whatever, right? probably a bird or a fruit bat - this is australia after all, ive seen thousands of winged creatures throw themselves at glass.
so I go out to investigate, and twitching on the sidewalk is a moth. Its wingspan is bigger than my face. This moth is so big that it could legally be registered as a helicopter or maybe a boeing 747. this is a big moth.
naturally, seven-year-old me takes one look at this small dragon and decides that it probably crashed into my window because it personally wants to kill me.
and then it turns to look at me.
now. I am not a brave person. but it occurs to me that if break eye contact with this moth, then it’ll probably be the last thing I see. So I stand perfectly still and glare down this moth. eventually a waitress comes out and says “Oh! that’s a Hercules Moth. She’s not gonna hurt you, she just gets overenthusiastic about the lights.”
and then she scoops the moth up and tosses the moth into the garden patch and she flies away, totally unharmed.
Looking back on it, i was wrong to assume the worst of that moth. She was just a big ‘ol idiot who loves lights. so am i. im sorry for making assumptions, moth lady.
