DANCING ON THE ROOF SHOOTING HOLES IN THE MOON

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[jame7t]

not me though. im girl with tanktop

[evilvillain123456789]

step one: replace entire personality with open, festering wound

step two: contort absolutely all stimuli in my environment to relate to the my wound in some manner, ideally one which justifies random acts of unbridled aggression and vengeance

step three: marry a girl with generational wealth

[sacred-portal]

[emil]

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

[emil]

peggle make phone calls

[grink]

can i have everything

[grink]

can i have anything

[7andaswitch-blade]

A coyote cools off in the drink fridge at a Quiznos in the Chicago Loop, 2007

“It did not growl. It did not make any sounds. It just tried to get in. Apparently it was scared and tried to shelter itself,” said Ray Zavalas, Quiznos employee.

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[dirtbaby2016]

[milknjuice-deactivated20190908]

i bet that mario and luigi dont get pussy

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

And? Do you?

[milknjuice-deactivated20190908]

we’re not talking about me right now

[brucespringsteen]

There should be more hours in between midnight and 5 am because I am a night owl and also an early riser morning enjoyer and I need 8 to 10 hours of sleep also

[wiki-but-made-them-up]

[astercrash]

[dykealloy]

I call this the create a new problem technique

[minxitsy]

im high asf and im so serious rn that like a g6 has been playing for at least 25 minutes

[melbournemethod]

this is so fucking funny i cant even be mad

[nocturnaltigerrevelation]

>have problem

>recognize it as part of my divine punishment

>no problem

[messygoku]

why does every single one of your faves has to have a monster cock. some of them are packing peanuts and that's okay, just goes to show you a lot of you equate big penises with a better sexual performance. alas, we move on

[acientvegtable]

I’m 400 years old and still on tumblr