Probably Not a Bird With a Keyboard

Crow, I'm 26/FTM Trans (demi)boy, He/Him or They/Them, Queer af, Jewish, Antifa, Anarcho-communist. Still figuring this out, but this will be a personal blog, and its likely gonna get NSFW occasionally, possibly by accident. I have a side nsfw blog that I will give the url for if you message me about it (especially if you are a nsfw blog I just followed, that might have been me following you back) The name is  Low-key in love with Emma Goldman. I am in many fandoms, mainly The Magnus Archives, Dragon Age, Marvel (Captain America/Stucky, but also like everyone), The Adventure Zone and also just the mcelroys in general. Probably more.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the adhd feeling of being unable to stop reading books as a kid, sneaking books into class, hiding books in your textbook, keeping a second copy of the same book for when the teacher inevitably confiscated the first one. Books falling out of your bag, books hidden in your hoodie pocket, books dribbling out of your eyeballs and taking over your daydreams. Just. The absolute dopamine fueled obsession of reading as an adhd kid. So. Many. Books.

and 10 years later, being completely utterly distraught and distractedly… unable to focus on a goddamn book

[heyepiphora]

GIVEAWAY: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

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[ceruleandaydream]

[mushymushhh]

MOTH MAN MOTH MAN MOTH MAN

also sound on please for your fullest experience hehdhdhdhdh

[everchased]

Martin: you ever wanna talk about your plan jon?

Jon: mmno.

Annabelle, ringing Martin for the 10th time today: i do!

Martin, leaning away from the receiver: i know annabelle.

Annabelle: i have a good plan!

Martin: i know annabelle.

[grimark]

don’t ask me why it’s ok to stan evil old man simon fairchild and not evil old man elias bouchard. i have no justification for this double standard except that i think simon is funny.

[lazyleafeon]

the archivist

[scarablime]

Martin: I have incredibly high standards

John: I haven’t slept in at least 3 weeks and im surviving solely off of coffee and statements

Martin: oh no he’s meeting all of my standards

[i-swear-this-is-for-homework]

Jon: I have incredibly high standards

Martin: This jar of cremated worm monster is for you. Also I made tea.

John: oh no he’s meeting all of my standards

[trashzy-deactivated20211214]

Eurasian Magpie

[star-anise]

Femme bi women married to men still have stories about queerness to tell that are worth hearing.

[cherryhearrts-deactivated201902]

i dont wanna discourse on main but please dont call bi women femme

[star-anise]

Kiss my ass and then fuck ALL THE WAY off.

[cherryhearrts-deactivated201902]

okay thanks for being aggressive when i literally said in the tags that i agree with what youre saying its just the fact that you called bi women “femme” that i take issue with.

femme and butch are both historically lesbian terms that are used very specifically for lesbians. a femme can ONLY be a lesbian bc it is an identity specifically abt subverting gender roles assigned to by men and performing femininity for other women, completely rejecting men. it can only be for lesbians bc its abt being attracted to only women. 

if a lesbian is telling you that something is a lesbian specific term, maybe hear them out before completely rejecting what they are saying

[star-anise]

I have heard this argument before. I have read the tedious history narratives that look at communities of queer women in the 1950s who used terms like “butch” and “femme” and acknowledged that yes, many of those women are what we would call bisexual today, but then somehow decided that… bisexual women were not allowed to inherit that legacy. That bisexuals should get disinherited despite having been there from the beginning.

I have also seen those posts say that biphobia is a myth, and that lesbians who reject bi women for being bi are a “lesbophobic myth”. The reality is, the elimination of bisexuals from our own narratives, the myth that you can source 1950s slang in a pure lesbian-only, never-looked-at-a-man mythic past, goes hand in hand with modern biphobia.

This post was written specifically counter to the concept that “femme” is a lesbian-only word.

If you want a pure lesbian term that has only ever been used by someone who is never attracted to men, I suggest you go plant a flag in a term that ISN’T used my MLM. Because “femme” has been used by gay men to describe themselves and each other for decades. 

It isn’t just innocent “We want our own vocabulary!” when you’re claiming one of the most common adjectives used for gender presentation in the English language, and when you cite a specific provenance for it, it is a provenance that bisexual women are equally entitled to inherit from.

Get your own damn word. Bisexual women have always used this one.

[prof-grace-aspen]

BI WOMEN CAN BE BUTCH AND FEMME 2019

[thechildrenarewaiting]

“GET YOUR OWN DAMN WORD. BISEXUAL WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS USED THIS ONE.”

[milf-adjacent]

This didn’t even mention that femme was originally applied to married women who frequented lesbian dives and bars. Femme has meant “bi” for much longer than it’s been a “lesbian exclusive” term. Ya wanna know the only lesbian exclusive term? It’s ‘lesbian’.

[wordsarereallyhard]

I don’t understand how young members of the queer community just don’t research queer history??? Like so many don’t know Pride is the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, let alone the complexity of queer identities and how so many groups were lumped together. Like trans women and cross dressing gay men were considered one and the same for a damn long time. Bisexual and lesbian women were considered the same. We’re all members of the same community and we are oppressed and discriminated against and othered in so many ways. Maybe I’m just an old fogey and these young kids need to get off my lawn… but all these youngins with their “q slur” and their “it’s lesbiphobia that we don’t we get a separate exclusive history.” The world doesn’t exist in a bubble and I beg these kids to just read up on queer history in books (or online JStor articles) instead of acting like Tumblr TERF rhetoric is the be all and end all of queer studies.

[findingfeather]

I mean I totally understand your frustration, but there’s an answer to that?

And the answer is that a lot of these kids are very isolated: they don’t have a robust, expansive adult queer community around them or accessible to them, for all the same reasons that teens have always not got to have that, ranging from one just not existing through to not being able to go to it due to parental prejudice or even just not being the kind of person who feels comfortable showing up to a new place.

So they find tumblr and tumblr is the first place that they find any non-straight “community” at all and then run straight into TERF-y bullshit but the people peddling that bullshit are telling them that This Is The Real History.

And they’re teens: no, they don’t necessarily know how to swim through the vast internet and actually evaluate the available sources, and the JSTOR articles often require an account and sometimes a paywall and are pretty inaccessible to your average teenager trying to figure out history anyway, and the books aren’t available (and you can find just as much TERFy bullshit in some of the books) and … so on.

It’s why this shit happens on tumblr: it gets very little traction in face-to-face spaces, and the big players - the adult women pulling this shit and pushing this shit - damn well know it, and know that if they show up to, say, Vancouver Pride with their exclusionist bullshit they’re going to get a bunch of fully adult angry LGBTQAI2S+* people in their faces, many of them able to go I WAS THERE DON’T TRY THAT SHIT ON HERE.

But if they can find the teens who don’t have a face-to-face community right here on tumblr and other online spaces? Well then. They get to have all the authority of having been The First Lesbian Adults/Voices those teens hear, of being the ones who set the tone and “establish” what lesbian history is, and voilà, you get sixteen-year-olds telling women who’ve been living as “butch” and “femme” for three, four, five decades that no!!!! those are LESBIAN ONLY TERMS!!!! et cetera.

And unfortunately, given that we’re still fighting to even let schools have fucking GSA/QSA spaces in so much of even the most “progressive” parts of the world, there are a lot of those isolated kids, and it’s not like they HAVE ever had the opportunity to learn anything else.

It’s a shitty situation. Unfortunately.

*(for anyone not familiar, the 2S is for two-spirit, who generally speaking have not just zero time for settler TERFy bs but, like. Significant NEGATIVE amounts of time for it)

[npccorpse-deactivated20240221]

If you're gonna normalize boys in skirts normalize trans boys in skirts or eat my boot.

[autismandstuff]

[blogbunnyrabbit]

[decabus]

this meme made me realise that other people apparently know how to show empathy without personal anecdotes 

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

… how…. please teach me

[idontknowanymoreaaaaaa]

I’m pretty sure none of us will get answers but please…if someone knows the secrets to showing empathy without personal anecdotes please speak up. We need answers

[lil-tumbles]

(Me (adhd + autism) can show empathy, but not sympathy. For me, it’s like I do the exact same thing, but as well as showing empathy through anecdotes I show sympathy through empathy).

[dragoninhumanskin]

@decabus @some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat @messynogenderpotato

I have somethin I guess? I’ve been the Support Friend for most of my life so I managed to get it down to a formula. TW: dog death

1. Ask Questions

This is mainly to keep them talking, that way a) they feel like they have a confidante in you, and b) the pressure is less on you to Say Things. In fact it shouldn’t be about you Saying Things at all, it should be you figuring out where they’re at and trying to understand.  E.g. “My dog died, I miss him.” Ask questions, and when they start talking, let them talk. “What was his name?” “How and when did he die?” “Tell me about him.” “What was he like?” “What’s your favourite memory of him?” “When did you first meet him?” “Did you teach him any tricks?” Again the point is to keep them talking, the questions are just to get them on a roll. If you’re worrying about what to say next, listen to what they’re saying and ask details of what they’re currently talking about, or mentally prepare your next question.

2. Listen

Let them talk. The more you listen to them talk, the more they feel like it’s okay to talk to you. If they dwindle off, ask them something else to get them talking again. Upset people usually have a lot to say.

Every now and again you can throw in little sentences like “Wow, what a bitch!” “Aw, so sad.” “What the fuck? Why?” just to prove you’re still listening and following, and haven’t wandered off into space.

3. When they’re done, give it back to them

It’s a technique called mirroring. Sum up whatever you heard in short form - if they’ve talked for half an hour about the little details of their deceased pet, say something like “It sounds like he was a very good boy/sounds like he meant a lot to you/sounds like you will miss him.” It’s been known to make people dissolve into a sobbing mess, because this is the part where you prove you’ve done your homework, you listened, you care, you get it.

4. If you really want to offer a solution, ask first. You can just skip this step altogether tbh.

Only when someone has finished talking about whatever is upsetting them, ask if you can help. “Can I offer some advice?”  Now is the time for SHORT anecdotes. Short. It’s not about you sharing your story, it’s about them getting advice. Remember they don’t have to take your advice, again it’s about them and their emotions, and they know themselves best. “When my dog died, I did this. Would that help?” “I read somewhere about doing this. Maybe try that and see how it goes?”

Hope this helps y’all. The TL;DR of all this is basically listen, and prove you’re listening.

[idontknowanymoreaaaaaa]

Thank you!!!

[sgo-resources]

That explanation really is so good!

[foreverimthatgirl-deactivated20]

racism isnt just in the cops and the system they work for. it’s in the education system and how they refuse to hold america accountable and block out parts of black history. it’s in the news media and how they propagandize the fuck out the public. it’s in million dollar business and corporations that benefit from black customers but don’t actually value black lives or hire black people/simply mistreat the one’s they do. it’s in the entertainment industry and with the lack of representation they give to us. it’s in the medical field and how we are denied proper healthcare and aid. and for people to still think that racism doesn’t kill or harm is beyond me because history has shown that it does exactly that and worse i mean... where do you think all this pain and hurt comes from? yeah that generational trauma is real so can you imagine why we are so fucking angry?????????? if you don’t, then you are apart of the problem.

[ooblets]

We spent the last 4 years making this lil game about collecting creatures, farming, dancing, and other stuff—and it’s finally out now!

PC: https://epic.gm/ooblets

Xbox: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/p/ooblets-game-preview/9nb4gblptd0s

Huge thanks to everyone who’s been along for the journey!!

[gaylor-moon]

WHICH ONE OF YALL MADE THIS 😂😂😂

[hattiefox-deactivated20230606]

OMG

[aleshakills]

Every time I see this post, I remember briefly after I came out to my mother, I had to calmly and rationally explain “Women can like video games and computers too”

[squeeful]

[joshsundquist]

Zappos Now Sells SINGLE SHOES! Check it out.

Keep reading

[ilsa-fireswan]

(Video transcript in the “keep reading link”)