Today's Document
Cosimo Galluzzi
cherry valley forever
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
YOU ARE THE REASON
tumblr dot com
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

izzy's playlists!
almost home
AnasAbdin
taylor price
No title available

ellievsbear
styofa doing anything
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Product Placement
Mike Driver
Show & Tell

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Discoholic 🪩

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@taariwhalesong
The first one was already funny but the second made me crack up :D
HAAAAA!
[Video description:
Tiktok user thehypegoblin faces the camera wearing a dark elf cleric cosplay. A robotic voice reads the text on the screen: "If your tits had a headphone jack what would they play?" She shoves an aux cord into her cleavage. From under the corset comes the audio "Suffocation! No breathing!" from Last Resort. She shrugs, nods, and makes a yep, that seems right face.
Cut to user casespotleson facing the camera looking inquisitive. He shoves an aux cord under his shirt collar. From under the shirt comes the audio "But you didn't have to cut me off" from Somebody That I Used to Know. He retorts, "Yes I did. Stop whining."
End vid description.]
Dropout cast members as things to never say to someone who just came out
See: this article
Brennan Lee Mulligan
Jess Ross
Jacob Wysocki
Vic Michaelis
Mike Trapp
Rekha Shankar
Lily Du
Zac Oyama
Izzy Roland
Ally Beardsley
Ify Nwadiwe
Raph Chestang
Lou Wilson
Tao Yang
Siobhan Thompson
Tiffany couldn't quite work out how Miss Level got paid. Certainly the basket she carried filled up more than it emptied. They'd walk past a cottage and a woman would come scurrying out with a fresh-baked loaf or a jar of pickles, even though Miss Level hadn't stopped there. But they'd spend an hour somewhere else, stitching up the leg of a farmer who'd been careless with an axe, and get a cup of tea and a stale biscuit.
It didn't seem fair.
“Oh, it evens out,” said Miss Level, as they walked on through the woods.
“You do what you can. People give what they can, when they can. Old Slapwick there, with the leg, he's as mean as a cat, but there'll be a big cut of beef on my doorstep before the week's end, you can bet on it. His wife will see to it. And pretty soon people will be killing their pigs for the winter, and I'll get more brawn, ham, bacon and sausages turning up than a family could eat in a year.”
“You do? What do you do with all that food?”
“Store it,” said Miss Level.
“But you-”
“I store it in other people. It's amazing what you can store in other people.” Miss Level laughed at Tiffany's expression. “I mean, I take what I don't need round to those who don't have a pig, or who're going through a bad patch, or who don't have anyone to remember them.”
“But that means they'll owe you a favour!”
“Right! And so it just keeps on going round. It all works out.”
“I bet some people are too mean to pay-”
“Not pay,” said Miss Level, severely. “A witch never expects payment and never asks for it and just hopes she never needs to. But, sadly, you are right.”
“And then what happens?"
“What do you mean?”
“You stop helping them, do you?”
“Oh, no,” said Miss Level, genuinely shocked. “You can't not help people just because they're stupid or forgetful or unpleasant. Everyone's poor round here. If I don't help them, who will?”
"A Hat full of Sky" - Terry Pratchett
my favourite book
me: i hate this time of year because everyone else has stopped working but i can't stop working and i feel like i'm not achieving anything
the wise trans girl i met a mere 12 hours ago who has already seen right through all my bullshit: you feel that way because you were raised to think achievement is the only thing that makes you worthy, but now is the time of year we choose what we're going to eat and spend time with our family... sorry, was that too direct? i'm autistic sometimes i just say things
me: [weeping]
“Do it scared” “do it badly” it’s time to drop the guide for do it alone
Doing it scared and doing it badly is one thing, but no one seems to talk about doing it alone. When you feel so isolated from your friends and your family but you have shit to do and you have to get it done no matter what. When your support system really is only you. For any myriad of reasons. We do not talk enough about doing it alone.
Hello, it’s your friendly neighborhood Internet historian here. As I recently realized we are nearing the 10 year anniversary of this particular meme I thought it might be useful to share its prestigious story.
Early in 2005 a blogger got a bootleg DVD of Revenge of the Sith, which included terrible subtitles which had been translated from English into Chinese and then back into English. The title, despite being written on the screen anyway, was subbed as “Star War: The Backstroke of the West” and contained numerous running jokes such as the phrase “Jedi Council” consistently being translated as “Presbyterian Church”.
At the end of the movie, Darth Vader screaming “NOOOOOO” was translated simply as “Do not want”.
The rest, as they say, is history.
*eta I was looking at the wrong post, the anniversary is in June
*AHEM* the title was translated as “Star War the Third Gathers: the Backstroke of the West”
Other gems include Anakin being variously referred to as “The Peaceful is Willing to” or “Allah Gold”, Sith Lord being translated to “South Host” while Sith is “West” or “the Big”, and Jedi Knights being referred to as “Hopeless Situation Warriors”/“Hopeless Situation”/“Hopeless” and the Jedi Temple as “Hopeless Situation Temple”
HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY!
It does matter. It matters exactly like this.
Last month I was in the ER, the most vulnerable emotionally that I've ever been while putting myself in the hands of a stranger. That the intake doctor had a lanyard heavy with Pride pins mattered. It's such a tiny gesture, but the amount of safety I felt because of it, during an agonizing moment in my life, was huge.
everyone should sometimes be cats it's good for you
Looney tools level of hauling ass
Zoozve, my beloved
"...we don't live in a big clockwork, we live in a dance club..."
This is my favorite line.
It is now called Zoozve :')
What's a thing you didn't know would consume so much of your time as an adult?
[Video Description: A dual tiktok message, starting with a question from an unlabelled user: “What’s a thing you didn’t know would consume so much of your time as an adult?“
The response from “doctorcanon“: “Soap. There is- there is so much soap.“ The video begins to cut to each each described soap as it appears.
“Oh, you want a desk mat? Then you have to get the special soap!“
“Oh, you want to do laundry? You need the special clothes soap!”
The dialogue grows increasingly strained with each introduction. “And you need more expensive soap if you have sensitive skin!“
“There’s not one, but two special soaps for dishes.”
“Oh, and do you want to wash your hair? Then you need special hair soap! Then you need even specialer soap to put on your hair, after you wash your hair with the other hair soap.”
“But not everyone can use the same hair soap! They have to use different hair soap.“
“And then there’s body soap. But you can’t use this soap for everything on your body!”
“Sometimes, you have to use more than one kind of face soap! Specifically for your face!“
“And then there’s hand soap. And you have to replace the hand soap.”
And then there’s teeth soap.“ at which point the video cuts off. End Description.]
What I really love is how, as the video goes on, her outrage channels into muppet-voice emotion. Absolutely wiggly-arms-on-sticks energy.
So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?
“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”
And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.
Saying "I'm not going to draw this thing because I don't know how to draw this thing" is really shooting yourself in the foot, because you've now cut yourself off from an opportunity to grow.
I had a friend in college who was an absolutely amazing artist. I loved seeing his work! One time I said something to the effect of "I could never do that."
He told me something that, as an artist, I resonate with. He said art isn't about natural talent; it's a learned skill. When you tell an artist their level of skill is impossible for you to reach, you're assuming their level of skill is a natural gifting they have, and it discredits the hundreds to thousands of hours of hard work they've put into getting where they are today, and you're cutting yourself off from trying to reach that point yourself.
I don't remember where I heard this but I wish I could, because it stuck with me:
Talent is THE RATE at which you learn things, not whether or not you can learn certain skills at all.
And that suddenly clicked for me. I have been very talented with a lot of things in my life and once I realized that I had basically been getting XP multipliers on my normal life experiences, it suddenly felt so much less awful to realize that I did not have the same advantage with other skills I struggle with, and that's okay. I might even have some debuffs on those, and that's okay. It's still all gaining as long as I keep working on it!!
Here’s the thing about JUPITER ASCENDING, literally the greatest movie ever made. Is it “good,” or is it, more probably, garbage? I really don’t have the capacity to say. I’m not Saint Roger Ebert, olav hasholem, over here. I took one film class and it was about whether real stuff is, like, real, or is there even such a thing as, like, really real, man, you know?? (There isn’t. I got an A.) I’m not here to tell you if it is good. I am only a woman with eyes and ears and joy centers in my brain. Here is what I will tell you. Look at my icon. As daeontherun so rightly pointed out, my icon was both of our faces for the ENTIRE DURATION of this movie.
Do you need to know any more than that? Do you need to know any more than that you will be flooded with pure, innocent delight for two hours? Here is my feeling about this movie: it is your garbage. It is garbage for you. “Is this how straight dudes feel at the movies all the time????” I hissed at daeontherun SEVERAL times during this movie. “Like someone carefully noted down your early pubescent fantasies and then threw 100 MILLION DOLLARS at them?“
I would describe this feeling as, like, a combination of arousal, joy, and fond knowing chagrin. “Oh you,” you find yourself thinking at Jupiter Ascending as shirtless Channing Tatum gruffly but torturedly checks his weaponry, while Sean Bean voiceover rumbles in his beautiful Northern growl about how tortured and loyal shirtless Channing Tatum is and how he needs his PACK. Ten seconds before this, Channing Tatum and Sean Bean were sexily punching each other while yelling about their emotions. “You know what I like, you crazy beautiful bastard,” you say to Jupiter Ascending, shaking your head fondly. Mila Kunis wakes up in a beautiful dress, blinking slowly with her long gorgeous lashes. “Feel my skin,” naked Tuppence Middleton purrs at her [REDACTED 4 SPOILERS]’s clone, Mila Kunis, gently caressing her bare arm. Gugu Mbatha-Raw stands over Channing Tatum and sexily taunts him. There is a 20 minute Terry-Gilliam-evoking sequence about [REDACTED 4 SPOILERS BUT TRUST ME THAT IT’S AMAZING]. Eddie Redmayne flutters an elegant hand around while hoarsely gasping out sociopathic, vaguely incestuous promises in a fucking SEQUIN TITS OUT DRESSING GOWN with ARM WINGS in his EVIL SPACE CATHEDRAL THRONE ROOM!!!! “DO U LIKE DIS?" Jupiter Ascending asks, glancing shyly at you. "I MAKED IT.” “Of course I like it,” you say, overcome by joy and wonder, kissing Jupiter Ascending on the forehead. “I’ve never liked anything this much, and I love you more than anyone in the whole world.” I don’t want to be controversial, but if I had to choose between Jupiter Ascending and Citizen Kane I would immediately travel back in time, murder Orson Welles, and walk away whistling. I would cheerfully burn the entire Criterion Collection to the ground for this movie. Go see Jupiter Ascending. You’re welcome.
i made this post ten years ago and i stand by most of it except for the part about burning the entire criterion collection to the ground. that was wrong. what i should have said was put jupiter ascending IN the criterion collection.
ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.
"someone who really has pOCD would be disgusted and horrified at their intrusive thoughts" or maybe i'm in therapy & am going by the books, being radically ambivalent to my intrusive thoughts instead of wasting energy mentally washing my paws of sin. i'm not going to perform my rock bottom for you for the sake of being believed.
"I won't perform my rock bottom for you for the sake of being believed" is going straight into my permanent storage holy shit
holy hell i need that on my DESK
idk why people photoshopped the crying cat meme on this pic when the unedited version is so powerful