She was sad that I won't open the stars
A couple of months back, my girlfriend gave me two jars filled with origami stars as a gift. If you know how origami stars are usually made, you’d know that she used so much strips of paper and a whole lot of effort. It was so sweet, because inside each of the stars are short messages for me. Only for me. The idea of having been the subject of so much great thoughts is very heartwarming.
I kept them all exactly the way she gave it to me. Safe, protected and secured.
When she saw it in my house, she asked how many of them did I open. Of course I told her, as proud as I could, that I opened none of them. She got a wee bit sad at that point thinking that I did not like it. She thinks I did not appreciate the gift.
I did. I love it, actually.
I never got around to fully explaining my unwillingness to open them all and read them, partly because I wasn’t fully sure myself. I think now, however, I can finally put parts of it into a comprehensible explanation.
My take on it is heavily contextualized on my perspective of how humans tackle different emotions. After a certain period of time has passed when a person first encounter a feeling, he/she usually tries to figure out the “Why” of the emotion; and when this happens it usually just ends up with the same old “it can’t be explained” thing. But that only comes after much thought and deliberation, not to mention questioning and nagging. That method of inquiry is fine because it does not have a long lasting effect. A very satiating answer is worth the trouble, after all.
Seldom do we encounter a scenario wherein in order to determine and rationalize the meaning of an emotion, we need to destroy something. In hindsight, it might be simply because life is too lenient on getting us involved, that it made the interaction and relationship between two people repairable.
We get so used to being able to enjoy both getting to the bottom of the “what” and the “Why”, and maintaining the relationship, that we often tend to forget to just appreciate it without the “what” and the “Why” the beauty of just feeling it without going through a rigorous but entirely fruitless process of trying to learn how some things are incomprehensible. We fail to value and honor what is already there.
The stars given to me evoked a lot of emotions. Love, happiness, excitement, but most of all curiosity. I’ll never give in though; because unfortunately, in order to learn what the stars contain, it is destroyed in the process. I’ll take a page from what the majority of the people disregard. I’ll adore it the way it is.
The message, wrapped and hidden, may be left unread; but certainly not unfelt.
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