when bella didn't want to get married at 18 because she saw how her parents' marriage crumbled and she was opposed to the patriarchal nature of the whole institution, and is bitter about it until the moment she is walking down the aisle, but as soon as she's married she realizes that being mrs. cullen is actually the best thing to ever happen to her and she's immediately ecstatic to have a baby with her husband. the way jacob says "you don't even belong to yourself anymore" about imprinting and is repulsed by the very idea, but then when he imprints he realizes it's actually what he was born to do & nothing could make him happier & he leaves everything behind to live with his mate's family. man once you become aware of the mormon agenda present within the twilight saga it is ALL you're aware of lol
pairing :: sim jaeyun x fem!reader
warnings :: eventual smut, excessive fluff, praise kink, pathetic jake, groping, size diff, non idol au, established relationship, switch!jake (?), degradation, breeding kink, slight somno, sub!jake, belly bulge, dry humping, big dick jake, oral sex
word count :: 2k
a/n :: @ puppyjake honestly love you to death kid you’re a good kid honestly ALSO this is not proofread pls ignore any errors👀
puppy!jake who follows you around without even realizing he’s doing it. you get up to grab a glass of water, and somehow thirty seconds later he’s wandered into the kitchen too, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. if you point it out, he’ll blink at you in confusion before looking around like he’s only just noticed where he ended up. “hm… i guess i did.” he’s not even trying to so blatantly trail after you, he just likes being wherever you are, and his feet seem to know that before his brain does :3
puppy!jake who somehow always ends up touching you whenever you’re together. maybe it’s his knee resting against yours, his arm draped lazily behind your shoulders, or his head slowly finding its way into your lap while you’re watching something. he doesn’t even think about it anymore; being close to you feels as natural as breathing. if you shift away to grab something, he’ll purposely scoot impossibly closer again a minute later
puppy!jake who absolutely lights up whenever you praise him. even something like just telling him he did a good job, has him trying (and failing) to hide the boyish grin spreading across his face. he’ll duck his head, scratch the back of his neck, mumble an embarrassed “thanks,” as his cheeks flush profusely :p
puppy!jake who greets you like you’ve been gone for months every single time you come home, even if you’ve literally just left an hour ago to buy groceries. the second he hears your keys in the door, he’s already standing up with the biggest smile plastered onto his face, bounding up to shamelessly grope at you while using the excuse that he just wants to see what you’ve bought home :3
puppy!jake who has theee cutest habit of nudging your hand whenever he wants attention while you’re busy. if you’re reading, scrolling on your phone or working on your laptop, you’ll suddenly feel his shoulder bump yours or his forehead gently press against your arm. if you absentmindedly scratch his hair without looking, he’ll just smile to himself, (almost) completely satisfied. if you don’t notice… you can expect an exaggerated sigh, closely followed by another, firmer nudge, nudges that won’t let up until he’s satisfied with the attention you give him
puppy!jake who gets genuinely excited over your interests as if they’re his own. mention a movie, a hobby or a random fact you like once, and he’s bringing it up days later because he spent time learning about it. not because he suddenly became obsessed with it himself, but because seeing you talk so passionately about something makes him happy. literally nothing makes him smile more than asking you a question and watching your face light up while you explain to him the nuances in whatever it is that’s got you so excited
puppy!jake who loves more than anything to be intertwined with you as much as he possibly can be. he frequently pulls you into his lap, arms tight around your middle, head bent down to nuzzle into your neck as he gently kisses down your pulse point. if not, somehow half his body will end up draped over your legs or your lap, despite your protests about how heavy he is. he’ll mumble “you’re just extra comfortable,” into your bare stomach as he toys with the hem of your (his) shirt, head in your lap as his lips graze your torso :p
puppy!jake who gets sad whenever you’re sad. he’s not always sure what the perfect thing to say is, and sometimes he’ll stumble over his words trying to make you feel better. so instead, he opts to simply stay. he’ll sit beside you in silence, rubbing slow circles over your back, holding your hand if you’ll let him, and quietly reminding you that he isn’t going anywhere until you’re okay, even if it takes hours :(
puppy!jake who sends voice notes instead of texts whenever he can because he likes the idea of you hearing his voice. they usually start with whatever he actually wanted to tell you before turning into him laughing halfway through, getting distracted by something he saw, or remembering another story. some of them end with an absent-minded, “okay… i miss you. bye,” before he hangs up, realising he’s forgotten to tell you that you’re out of milk, the whole reason he’d opted to send a voice note in the first place :3
puppy!jake who gets distracted halfway through telling stories because he’s more interested in making you smile than finishing the point. he’ll start explaining something that happened during work, somehow end up doing impressions of everyone involved, and then completely lose his train of thought because you let out a soft giggle. “forgot what i was talking about…” he’ll mumble under his breath, face flushed as you coo at him :p
puppy!jake who completely melts whenever you scratch the back of his neck or run fingers through his thick brown hair. you can literally feel his shoulders relaxing beneath your hand as he leans further into you without thinking. after a few minutes his eyes start drooping, his replies become quieter, and eventually he’s asleep before the movie is even halfway over, still holding tightly onto your hand :(
puppy!jake who naturally drifts closer whenever you’re walking together until your shoulders brush. eventually your hands bump together, and he’ll glance at you for a second before shyly hooking his fingers around yours, still feeling bashful after being with you for years. after that, he absentmindedly swings your joined hands as you walk, smiling to himself without even noticing he’s doing it. of course, you notice though, and reach up to plant a chaste kiss to his flushed cheek :p
puppy!jake who smiles into every kiss, even non-sexual ones. every single time you pull away, he’s already looking at you with this ridiculously fond expression, cheeks just a little pink. sometimes he’ll let out the tiniest laugh, almost like he still can’t believe this is real
puppy!jake who becomes even clingier whenever he’s exhausted. if you try getting out of bed before him, he’ll instinctively wrap both arms around your waist and pull you back down without even opening his eyes. “five more minutes…” he’ll mumble into your shoulder, voice all sleepy and rough, tightening his hold just enough to make escaping impossible, even though he knows you’d never want to escape :3
let’s go to hell😳
aka nsfw under div
puppy!jake who desperately ruts against the bed while he’s eating you out, sometimes just thrusting into the air if there’s nothing for him to hump. he gets impossibly harder when you point it out, interrupting his frantic making out with your pussy by tugging on his hair, cooing at your needy mutt, warning him that if he carries on, you might not give him the chance to fuck you (which he knows is a lie), but he still does his very best to force his hips still :(
puppy!jake who has the leakiest cock :( he drips precum so much that there’s almost always a cute little wet patch on the front of his boxers when you peel off his sweatpants. you can’t help but coo at your leaky boy, prompting his face to flush an even deeper shade of red, a sharp whine slipping out of him before he can stop it
puppy!jake who has theeeee most sensitive tip. like of all time. all you have to do is brush your thumb across it and he’s reeling, a drop of precum now running over your fist wrapped tight around his length. he lets out little hisses when you gently kitten-lick his slit, tears brewing already at the stimulation
puppy!jake who lives in a perpetual state of horniness, doing his best to pretend he’s not hard when you’ve only just ran your fingers through his hair. so pathetic, he thinks to himself, brows furrowed, as he wraps his arms tighter around your middle and tries to focus on the movie you’ve put on, hoping you don’t notice anything poking you :(
puppy!jake who occasionally tries to taunt you back, but finds out that he really cannot tease you for too long at all because at the end of the day the only thing he wants is for his pretty baby to feel good… he feels the need to make up for his feeble attempts at teasing, and he does so by going down on you for hours, although he doesn’t really consider this to be an apology because he enjoys it just as much as you do :3
puppy!jake who has (almost) never ending stamina. he’ll only stop when he knows you can’t take anymore, and even then, as you drift off, you can still feel him semi-hard against your back. you’d told him early on in your relationship that he could use you to take care of his issue, but he’d never really gotten used to that. instead, he typically opted to gently rut against you for a while, stifling his whimpers as he groped your tits from behind, tears pooling in his eyes as he came in his pants, his face buried in your neck. he sniffled and adjusted himself, deciding he’d just clean himself up in the morning, n maybe tell you about it just so he could hear you call him your needy pup
puppy!jake who didn’t initially realise his size, rutting into you desperately without prep. to be fair, you didn’t expect him to be so fucking huge, but he was already inside now, grinding into you as he finally bottomed out. you grasped desperately at his face from beneath him, grinning at his watery eyes before telling him to slow down, to let you get used to him. you saw the guilt immediately forming in his eyes but kissed it away, guiding his lips to yours as you joined in a sloppy kiss, a mixture of his and your’s spit now running down your chin as you smirked through it, nipping at his bottom lip to let him know he could continue :3
puppy!jake who fucks you faster and harder when he’s close, mewling at the sight of your fucked out expression mirroring his. he plants his big hands on either side of your waist as he lets out a sharp whine at the sight of your belly bulge, imprint of his dick visible as he bottomed out inside you, instinctively pressing down on it, making you both moan in unison. “m so fucking deep, baby,” he groans at the sight, trailing one hand down to your clit to trace circles on it as he picks up his pace, because he can’t cum unless you do first
puppy!jake who just cums so much. fucking it all back into you in the name of filling you up how you like it, whimpering as you drag him down to your mouth to whisper how good of a dad he’d be. “would you like that jakey? ‘can give you your own little pups,” he lets out a strangled little sob at the thought :(
puppy!jake who’s tongue lolls out when he’s fucking you good, first creeping out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates, to involuntarily fully sticking out, eyes screwed shut as his hands tighten on your hips
puppy!jake, who at the start of your relationship, completely short circuits when you jokingly call him a good boy. he’ll freeze mid-sentence, blink a few times, then splutter out the rest of whatever he was chatting about, his voice noticeably breaking as he tries his absolute hardest to appear unbothered (you’ve used it against him every day since)
synopsis: in which jake sim finally stops letting you run the show—only to prove he’s always known how to handle you.
genre: childhood best friends au
pairing: childhood best friend!jake x bratty!reader
warnings: softdom!jake, bratty!reader, reader is so annoying but jake loves it, cornering, bantering, jake scolds reader often, jake is in loveeee, manhandling, spanking ass + pussy, oral (f.rec), spit play, tit play, unprotected p in v, clit play, biting..i think that’s it??
wc: 16.5k+
a/n: ayeee guess who’s back! this fic won on the poll so here i am delivering. this is also my 3k followers thank you post hehe!! thanks to each and every one of you guys that have been reading and supporting my work 😘 keep an eye out i’ll be putting out another pole soon. as always comments, notes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy reading :3
𓂃
you and jake sim grew up three houses apart on a street where everybody's moms knew everything and everybody's dads pretended they didn't. you were the loud one—the kid who rang doorbells like you were collecting taxes, who demanded attention with the confidence of someone who'd never been told no.
which you hadn't.
meanwhile jake... poor jake. he was the sweet, soft-spoken boy who trailed after you like a golden retriever with a bowl cut and velcro spiderman sneakers. he always had crumbs on his face, always carried your backpack without being asked, and always—always—laughed at your jokes, even when they weren't funny.
they were rarely funny.
you'd yell his name across the street, and he'd come running. you'd shove the glittery lip gloss you stole from your cousin into his hand and say "hold this," and he would. you'd call him "my assistant" during your bossy childhood games, and he accepted the demotion.
once, you made him cry because he didn't run fast enough during tag. you didn't apologize—instead you loudly declared, "omg, relax, you got tagged ONCE. big deal."
jake sniffled, you stomped away. and five minutes later he followed you again, because that's just how he was.
but somewhere around the end of high school, the world started pulling you in different directions. you were busy being dramatic, discovering tinted lip oils, complaining about your parents rules, and posting instagram stories from the passenger seat of other people's cars.
jake was busy doing things like... assignments. group projects. extracurriculars. things you mockingly called "nerd behavior."
he didn't go out much. he didn't chase chaos. he didn't orbit your life the way he did when you were younger. and you—in a classic act of emotional immaturity—pretended not to care.
at eighteen, you chose a college far away purely because the campus looked "aesthetic in fall," packed up your entire personality into two suitcases, and left without saying a proper goodbye. you waved at jake from the car window as your mom pulled out of the driveway and yelled something ridiculous like:
"don't let anyone bully you except me!"
he laughed. that soft, warm, dimpled laugh that used to follow you everywhere.
and then you were gone.
𓂃
college turned you into an even worse version of yourself—aggressively iced-coffee-dependent, chronically late, allergic to responsibility, and thriving in an environment where chaos was practically currency.
your life became a rotation of parties, spontaneous shopping, soft-launching people you weren't even dating, and pretending every bad decision was "character development."
you went through roommates like seasonal flavors. every semester someone new moved in, and every semester someone new moved out with a complaint that you were "a lot" or "messy" or "kind of terrifying when woken up."
you didn't disagree.
jake became a distant memory, the boy who sometimes liked your posts from an account with a profile picture you swear was five years old. you'd smile for half a second when his username popped up, then go right back to ignoring three overdue essays and online shopping for shoes you absolutely didn't need.
your worlds didn't touch anymore.
until life, rude as always, decided to intervene
it started with your roommate announcing she was "basically moving in" her new boyfriend. you thought she meant he'd be around more. no, he was actually moving in. toothbrush, clothes, gaming chair, ugly LED lights—the whole infestation.
he hogged the bathroom. he cooked shirtless at inappropriate hours. he once ate your leftover pasta and shrugged, "it was mid anyway."
you saw red. you didn't commit a crime, but it was close.
you decided to move out.
your landlord, a man whose personality could best be described as "human expired raisin," decided this was the perfect time to raise your rent by five hundred dollars.
you stared at the email. then you screamed. not a cute scream—a guttural, operatic wail that made the downstairs neighbor bang on their ceiling.
you called your mom, pacing through the disaster zone that was your half-packed room.
"i'm going to die," you said dramatically. "i'm literally going to die. you're going to have to identify my body by my lash extensions."
your mom sighed the sigh of someone who'd raised you for twenty-three years. "sweetheart, calm down—"
"don't tell me to calm down, my life is in ruins. ruins, mother."
"you're not in ruins."
"i'm going to be homeless."
"you're not going to be homeless."
"i'm going to have to live in my car—"
"oh honey," she cut in, "why don't you stay with jake?"
you froze mid-rant. "...jake?" his name unfamiliar on your tongue.
"yes! jake sim! he's back from finishing his degree. he bought a nice apartment downtown. he told his mother he has a spare room."
you stared into space, horrified. "jake sim? bowl-cut jake? used-to-cry-when-i-yelled jake?"
"he didn't cry," she corrected. "he teared up. once."
"mom. be serious."
"i am. you two were inseparable."
"when we were twelve!"
"well, he's always liked you."
"as a person?" you asked skeptically. you seriously doubted that anyone who was sane liked you as a person. yes, you're a lot of things but one thing you definitely are is self aware.
she made a vague noise, you didn't like the noise.
"i'll text his mother," she decided, and you instantly regretted calling her.
two minutes later, your phone buzzed.
mom: jake says you're welcome to stay anytime.
you stared at the text. it felt unreal. absurd. borderline comedic.
but you were desperate. and dramatic. and the universe clearly hated you.
so you said yes. because of course you did.
you packed your things with the confidence of someone who absolutely believed jake sim was still the same soft, shy, easily-managed boy who used to trail after you in elementary school.
you were so, so sure.
and you were so, so wrong.
𓂃
you hype yourself up in the elevator.
it's just jake.you think to yourself, the image of 12-year old him fresh in your mind.
you've known him your whole life. he once cried because you told him clouds were solid and he fell off the playground trying to "sit on one."
you are not nervous. you are annoyed.
annoyed that your lease fell apart. annoyed that your mother thinks you're still friends. annoyed that jake, sweet, soft, bowl-cut jake, is your only housing option unless you want to sleep in your car.
the elevator dings.
you're ready to see scented-candle bachelor hell. dirty laundry. possibly raccoons.
you knock and the door swings open. and your soul leaves your body.
because the man standing there is definitely jake—but upgraded. taller, broader, stupidly handsome, and sporting a smile that used to be pure golden retriever sunshine. except now it's... toned down. slower. like he knows exactly what it does to people.
"hey," he says, his eyes dropping down to take in your form and your hot pink suitcases. "come in."
come in? come in? no shocked gasp? no "wow you're back"? no nervous babbling?
you narrow your eyes suspiciously. "wow. no bowl cut." you admit, not the best choice of first words to say to your childhood best friend who you hadn't seen in years. but it was fitting.
he laughs—actually laughs—and steps aside. and you walk into the biggest personal betrayal of your adult life.
his apartment is spotless.
not "i cleaned because company is coming" clean.
"i am a fully functioning adult who alphabetizes spices" clean.
the air smells like sandalwood and laundry detergent. plants sit by the window like they've never known suffering. there are no pizza boxes, no dirty plates, no gamer chair.
this is not jake's apartment.
"is this staged?" you demand. "did someone professionally sanitize this because you knew i was coming?"
"nope," he says, grabbing one of your suitcases. "i live like this."
you blink owlishly. "on purpose?"
he snorts, looking at you with an unidentifiable expression on his face. "on purpose."
you want to throw something, no, you want to throw up.
but instead, you drop your bag on the couch like an entitled raccoon and flop dramatically across it. "i'm making myself at home."
he glances at your shoes on the carpet. "i can see that."
he takes a seat in the armchair across from you— calm, collected, not even a little frazzled— which is insane, because you're very clearly being a handful on purpose. you call that, asserting dominance. like the old days.
you clear your throat. "so. rules. house agreements. i assume you're gonna ask me to clean something? or, like... wash a dish? or close a cabinet? if so, i'll need written notice."
jake smiles. not the "aww she's being annoying again" smile you expect. no, this one is deeper. amused. knowing.
"sure," he says easily. "we can talk rules."
that throws you off. he's supposed to be flustered, scrambling to keep up. not leading the conversation like he owns the apartment—which, annoying fact, he does.
he leans back, forearms resting casually on his knees. your eyes almost pop out of their sockets when you notice how veiny his hands and arms were.
"okay," he starts, "rent is six-fifty a month. i already talked to your mom about it—she said she'd help out until you get settled again."
you cough on pure embarrassment. "she did what?"
he suppresses a grin. "it was cute, actually. she kept saying, 'jake honey, please don't let her be homeless, she can be... a lot.'"
you sit up. "i will literally burn my house down before i let you repeat anything my mother said about me."
"her words, not mine," he says, holding up his hands. his beautiful, god crafted, veiny hands. "anyway—utilities included. chores are pretty simple. i cook, so you can take trash and recycling. laundry we do separately. shared spaces stay clean."
"define clean."
"not a biohazard."
"rude."
"accurate."
you throw a pillow at his head. he catches it one-handed without breaking eye contact.
you actually stop breathing for a second.
since when can jake do that? since when is he coordinated? since when does he have forearms like that?
you scowl to cover the fact that your brain just short-circuited. "fine. anything else?"
he tilts his head. "yeah. don't steal my hoodies." you blink innocently. "why would i steal your hoodies?"
his gaze drops to your suitcase—where three of his old ones that you had 'borrowed' back in highschool are hanging out the side. proof that you struggled to pack all your belongings in two measly suitcases.
traitors.
"uh-huh," he says. "point is, don't steal them."
"i don't steal," you lie.
"you do."
"i borrow."
"indefinitely." you cross your arms. "well, maybe if you didn't buy hoodies that look good on me—"
"they look good on me," he corrects smoothly. "you're just annoying enough to steal them."
you're going to scream.
you stand, stalking toward the kitchen just to regain power. "i'm eating your snacks as payment for emotional damages."
he follows at a leisurely pace, because apparently he's immune to your chaos now. you yank open the fridge. it's organized. color-coded. there are vegetables.
"who are you?" you whisper, horrified. "where is the boy who ate a fruit roll-up off the sidewalk?"
"buried him," jake answers, grabbing a bottle of water and handing it to you. "grew up. got a job. graduated. learned to mop."
you squint at him. "did you join a cult?"
he laughs again—warm and low. "no. i just stopped being twelve."
"you were twelve for like ten years."
"and you're still twelve," he shoots back calmly. "so at least one of us stayed consistent."
you gape. "you're so— so—"
"accurate?"
"i was gonna say insufferable."
he leans on the counter across from you, arms folded, gaze steady.
"you were expecting me to be exactly the same, weren't you?"
you freeze. he's right. he knows he's right and you hate that he knows he's right.
before you can respond, he adds—lightly, but with something underneath, "don't worry. i still remember everything."
your heartbeat trips.
"everything?" you repeat.
he smiles. slow. devastating. "everything."
you look away first. you hate that too.
you grab chips from the pantry—loudly, aggressively—and announce, "i'm gonna walk around in tiny shorts and leave my stuff everywhere."
"go for it," jake says, opening a cabinet above your head to grab a mug. "i don't scare that easily."
"i wasn't trying to scare you!"
"sure."
"i wasn't—!"
he takes a sip of water like he didn't just psychologically annihilate you.
you feel your face heat. you hate him. you hate that he's changed. you hate that he hasn't changed in the ways that matter. you hate that he's taller and calm and unbothered and smells like pine and laundry and maybe a little bit like heartbreak.
and you really hate the traitorous thought sneaking into your brain: you might be in trouble.
after the unexpected back forth between you and jake, jake kindly showed you to your room which was much nicer than the one at your old apartment.
"i'll let you settle in, i'll be back in a few. gym." and with that he slips through the door and out of your sight.
since when did he go to the gym? since those veiny arms blessed your sight.
you huff while unpacking, taking in the clean space as a foreign feeling takes place in your chest.
what the fuck are you going to do?
𓂃
you hear the door before you see him.
a heavy, warm thud of sneakers hitting the entry rug. the quiet clink of keys. then the low, tired exhale of a man who just returned from the gym and doesn't realize he's about to emotionally ruin someone.
you peek over the couch. and yeah, he's sweaty.
like—sweat running down his neck, shirt stuck to his chest, hair pushed back with a damp curl kind of sweaty.
your brain forgets basic motor functions. he looks up and catches you staring, a unrecognizable glint in his soft eyes.
"hey," he says, voice rougher than usual. "you're still awake?" awake? you're clinically deceased, but sure.
you sit up, flipping your hair like you didn't just get jump-scared by his forearms. "yeah. couldn't sleep. your... stomping woke me up."
"i didn't stomp," he says, amused. "i walked in."
"well it was loud."
"you were watching tiktoks on full volume."
you glare, chucking your phone on the other couch. "stop knowing things."
he smirks and heads to the kitchen for water, pulling his shirt up to wipe his face.
you get a full view of toned stomach. abs. v-line. you stop breathing somewhere around ab #3.
okay. enough. you're not going to let him win tonight. this morning he made you flustered. tonight? you're fighting back.
you hop off the couch and follow him to the kitchen, wearing the tiniest sleep shorts you own and his hoodie—you know, for psychological warfare.
"so," you announce, hopping onto the counter, crossing your legs slowly. "long workout? you look... tired."
he opens the fridge. "yeah. leg day."
you hum. "maybe you should let me massage them. you know. as a housewarming gift."
he doesn't choke. he doesn't blush. he just closes the fridge, sets down the water bottle, and looks at you with that infuriating, slow-lingering gaze that makes your stomach flip like a dying fish.
"you wanna massage my legs?" he asks softly, his brow quirking up before his gaze drops down to your bare legs and your small frame which was swallowed by his hoodie.
your throat closes. "i— i mean— maybe— if you—"
he takes a step closer. then another. until he's right in front of you, standing between your knees, but not touching you. not even a brush of skin. just close enough that you swear you can feel the heat rolling off him.
your brain: DEAD. ABSOLUTELY GONE.
he places his hands on the counter on either side of your hips, caging you in—without touching you once.
your breath catches. everything in you goes still.
"you offering charity massages now?" he murmurs, eyes dropping briefly to your mouth. "that doesn't sound like you."
your voice cracks. "why not?"
"you don't do things out of kindness." his tone is teasing, warm. "you do things because you want attention."
your entire nervous system sets on fire.
"i— excuse— i don't—"
"it's okay," he continues, leaning just an inch closer, his nose almost brushing yours. "i don't mind giving you the attention."
you swallow hard. "move."
"you sure?" he asks quietly. "you seem pretty comfortable."
you are not comfortable. you are a molecule vibrating out of your own skin.
you shove a hand at his chest—bad idea, he's solid—and babble stupidly, "i'm fine. you're weird. stop being tall at me."
jake laughs under his breath. it's warm. dangerous. affectionate in a way that makes your stomach curl.
he leans in like he might actually touch your cheek, lips, something and you freeze. but he doesn't. at the last second, he dips his head past yours and reaches behind you to grab a mug from the cabinet above.
you nearly scream. he pulls back slowly, the corner of his mouth tilted in a knowing smirk.
"relax," he says softly. "if i actually cornered you, you'd combust."
you glare at him, cheeks on fire. "i hate you."
"no you don't." he taps your knee with a finger, the only touch, light, teasing, devastating. "but you can keep pretending."
you nearly fall off the counter trying to escape.
he watches, amused, taking a sip of water like he didn't just send you through all five stages of grief.
"goodnight," he says casually, heading to his room.
you stare after him, emotionally damaged.
"i'm not massaging your stupid legs!" you call out.
his voice drifts back, "you offered."
you bury your face in your hands. you are so, so screwed.
𓂃
you wake up to the smell of something heavenly.
warm. buttery. slightly sweet.
you blink at the ceiling.
no way. no way jake is up early being...competent.
you stomp down the hall dramatically, ready to insult him for being a functional adult at 8:12 a.m.
and you freeze. because jake is shirtless. shirtless. in his kitchen. your now shared kitchen.
his back muscles shift as he flips pancakes. his sweatpants hang low. his hair is messy in the exact way that suggests he just rolled out of bed and looked inhumanly good by accident.
you forget why you entered the kitchen. or how to inhale.
he glances over his shoulder. "morning."
the audacity. “you—" your voice cracks. "you're— you're not wearing clothes."
he looks down, confused. "i'm wearing pants."
"that's not the point!"
"sounds like it is."
you hate him. you hate him so much your eye twitches. he plates a pancake and nods toward the stove. "there's extra batter if you want to make your own."
you puff up, offended. "i CAN cook."
jake raises an eyebrow. "do you want to say that again? slowly?"
you march to the fridge, grab random ingredients you probably won't need, and announce, "watch and learn."
"i'm watching." his voice is annoyingly amused.
"not sure i'll be learning."
you ignore him, crank the stove on too high, and pour way too much batter in the pan. it spreads like a sad, beige puddle.
jake strolls over, sipping coffee, watching like he's observing wildlife.
"that's... thick," he comments.
"it's called fluffy," you snap back, your eyes finding his before dropping down to his chest and stomach. oh god why did you do that? jake catches your vision, a smirk playing on his lips.
fuck you.
"oh. okay. it's very... fluffy."
"shut up."
the pancake starts smoking aggressively. you start panicking aggressively.
"um— is it supposed to—"
WHOOSH.
flame kisses the edge of the pan. you shriek. "OH MY GOD—" jake moves instantly, reaching past you to turn down the burner.
and suddenly—he's right behind you. his chest against your back. his arms braced around you as he grabs the pan. his voice low, right by your ear,
"hey. relax. i got it."
your brain vacates the premises.
his hands move with confidence, fixing your disaster pancake. his breath brushes your neck. he's close—too close—and yet he's acting like this is normal.
"you're gonna start a fire," he says softly, almost teasing.
"i— i didn't— the burner— your stove is— i— shut up," you whisper, mortified.
he laughs quietly, the sound warm against your skin.
"you're cute when you panic," he murmurs, not moving away. you seize up when you feel his warm breath brush against the shell of your ear, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
you clutch the counter for emotional support. "can you—can you back up?"
"why?" his tone is innocent. way too innocent.
"you seemed fine last night when i was close."
you almost combust like the pancake.
"that was different!"
"how?" he asks, dipping his head just enough that you feel the brush of his hair against your cheek.
you have no good answer. because the truth is humiliating, last night you were flustered. now you're flustered and underprepared and wearing pajama shorts shaped like licorice strings.
you grab a spatula and use it like a weapon to push him away.
"move," you hiss, your face burning red.
he steps back, hands up, grinning like a menace. "yes, chef."
"don't call me chef."
"okay. fire hazard."
"JAKE."
he laughs a full, bright laugh that makes your stomach twist and heads back to his own plate.
you plate your uneven, charred pancake with defeated silence.
and jake, the infuriating man, sets another golden, perfectly round pancake onto your plate.
you blink. "what's this?"
"a real breakfast," he says, pouring syrup for you like you're a child. "because you nearly burned the apartment down trying to prove a point."
you glare at him. "i was doing FINE."
"sure," he hums. "and i'm a ballerina."
you stab your pancake.
he watches you with that soft, amused smile again—the one with something deeper behind it.
then he adds, "you know... it's kind of nice having you here."
your fork slips out of your hand. "...what?" like you had said earlier, you're a lot of things but one thing you definitely are is self aware. you are not nice to have around, and you know it.
he shrugs, easy. "just saying."
you stare at him, face warming in a way you refuse to acknowledge. you mumble into your syrup, "i hate you."
he smiles, slow and knowing. "no you don't."
and the worst part? he's right.
the first week in jake's apartment goes... fine.
dangerously fine.
it should've been easy to fall back into the old dynamic: you, the bossy menace; him, the soft puppy trailing after you with a shy smile and an unlimited tolerance for your nonsense.
except—he doesn't trail. he doesn't melt. he doesn't fold. and that pisses you off more than you'd ever admit.
the chaos starts small.
your makeup begins multiplying across the bathroom counter like it's staging a coup. lip glosses in a neat little line beside his toothbrush; your setting spray sitting directly in front of his razor; your glitter eyeshadow palette open—because closing it would've taken effort, obviously.
jake doesn't complain. he doesn't even sigh.
he just walks in one morning, towels slung over his shoulder, hair damp from the gym, and pauses at the counter.
"is this all yours?" he asks.
you don't look up from your phone. "hm? oh. yeah. i need space. don't be selfish."
jake nods slowly, like he's taking notes on you for a research study. "right. selfish. of course."
you ignore the way that makes your stomach twist.
you up the ante. you start asking—no, demanding—rides.
"jake," you call from your bedroom one morning, "can you take me to get coffee?"
"there's a café two blocks away," he says, leaning on your doorframe, wet hair dripping onto his hoodie.
you gasp like he's suggested you walk barefoot through snow. "that's uphill."
"slightly."
"jake. it's morning. i'm fragile."
he snorts and tosses you his car keys. "fine. you drive."
you blink at him like he had grown a second head. "i was... i was asking you to take me."
"yeah," he says, already walking away, "and i'm telling you to take yourself."
you stare at the keys like they've personally insulted you.
then there's the pizza incident. you take the last slice. obviously. you don't even feel bad. you're sitting on the couch when he walks in, box in hand, looking for the missing piece.
he lifts an eyebrow—that stupid, infuriatingly calm eyebrow—and glances at the empty plate on your lap.
"you didn't eat the last slice, did you?"
"no," you say immediately, even though the evidence is literally smeared on your mouth.
he looks at you. really looks. slowly. knowingly. lips tugging upward. "right," he says softly. "of course you didn't."
then he reaches forward, thumb hovering near the corner of your mouth—not touching, but close enough that the heat of him brushes your skin.
your body locks up.
his voice drops, warm and amused, "you've got sauce right here."
you nearly stop breathing. and then he pulls back, smiling like nothing happened.
you want to strangle him. or kiss him. or both.
but it's the blanket situation that finally pushes you over the edge.
his blankets are better. obviously they are. he's responsible and orderly and uses fabric softener. you're a tired disaster with a credit card.
so you drag his nicest throw blanket into your room one night without asking.
in the morning, he finds you on the couch wrapped in it like a human burrito, scrolling through your phone.
he laughs—this low, warm sound that makes something traitorous flutter in your chest.
"you know," he says, "you have blankets."
"yeah but yours are... softer."
he tilts his head, walking behind the couch. "so your solution was theft?"
"i don't see you complaining."
"i'm not complaining." he leans down behind you, close enough that you feel the warmth of his breath by your ear. "i'm just observing."
you freeze. again. you're starting to hate how often that happens.
"why're you so jumpy?" he murmurs, voice like honey.
"shut up," you whisper.
he only chuckles, watching your face turn a pretty shade of pink.
and then comes the night you push too far.
you're irritated for no real reason—maybe because he didn't react the way you wanted, maybe because he's not the boy you expected, maybe because his quiet confidence does something to you you can't explain.
you snap at him. something stupid. something about the air conditioner and his "stupid, organized, obsessive thermostat rules."
he's standing in the kitchen drying dishes when you say it. you expect him to fold, apologize, let you roll over him like you always have.
instead—he sets the plate down. slowly. carefully.
like he's placing a piece in a chess game he's already winning.
then he turns and walks toward you. the air changes, it thickens, until you swear you can feel it press against your skin.
you retreat one step, he follows. you bump lightly into the counter. he doesn't touch you. he doesn't need to.
he braces one hand on the counter beside your hip, leaning in just enough that your heart slams painfully against your ribs.
his voice is warm, but the firmness beneath it is unmistakable. "don't talk to me like that."
heat crawls up your neck, "i wasn't— i didn't—"
"no," he says, soft and steady, "you did."
his eyes flick down to your lips for half a second—half a heartbeat—before meeting your eyes again.
"i let you get away with that stuff when we were kids," he continues. "but i'm not that guy anymore."
your pulse stutters. his face is close enough that you see the gold flecks in his eyes. "you don't get to talk to me like that," he says.
a beat.
"not anymore."
you swallow so hard it hurts. you open your mouth—to apologize, to argue, you're not sure—but nothing comes out.
jake watches you, a faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth. not cruel. not mocking. just... knowing. then, gently, he pushes off the counter and steps back.
"good," he murmurs, turning away to finish the dishes. "i'm glad we understand each other."
you stand there, dizzy, cheeks burning, knees genuinely weak. you've never shut up so fast in your entire life.
and you hate—absolutely hate—how much you liked it.
𓂃
you don't realize when it starts.
or maybe you do, and you're just pretending you don't, because acknowledging it would mean admitting something absolutely unacceptable: that jake sim—golden retriever, former bowl-cut disaster, childhood doormat—is becoming the gravitational pull of your entire stupid life.
and you hate that.
you REALLY hate that.
it happens on a friday night.
you're out with a few friends—the fun, chaotic ones who think your bratty personality is "endearing" and "so girlboss of you." you're half-done a drink, leaning over the bar to talk to some tall, kind-of-cute guy who'd been eyeing you for the last ten minutes.
he's laughing at your jokes. you're flipping your hair and pretending you're not checking your reflection in the chrome beer tap.
it's going great.
until you hear the voice that's been in your dreams for the last few months, "hey."
you don't even have to turn around. your stomach recognizes his voice before your brain does.
jake.
you freeze, hand still hovering mid-gesture, and the guy in front of you lifts a curious eyebrow.
the asshole actually smiles at jake when he approaches, like they're suddenly in a friendly competition he's about to lose without knowing why.
jake leans against the bar beside you like he's been invited, like he belongs there—tall, warm, annoyingly good-smelling. his hand is on the small of your back, not touching, but close enough that you feel heat radiating through your shirt.
you hate that your heart triple-flips.
"hey," you say, pretending not to care, though your voice is a little too high. "what are you doing here?"
jake shrugs lightly. his eyes flick once—just once —to the guy you were flirting with. "came to pick you up."
"i didn't ask you to."
"your phone's dead."
you blink. you check your phone...your phone is, in fact, dead.
god, that's so annoying.
the cute guy clears his throat. "you two... know each other?"
before you can answer, jake does, with the most harmless, friendly voice you've ever heard, "yeah. she lives with me."
the guy's smile collapses.
your jaw drops. "jake—that's not—"
"roommates," he adds, finally throwing you a look that says better? but it's too late. the guy is already pulling back, suddenly very uninterested in continuing the conversation with a girl who apparently has a six-foot wall of muscle as a roommate.
"he's just—he's exaggerating," you say desperately, but the guy is already lifting his drink in a goodbye gesture. "nice meeting you," he says—to jake. not you.
he leaves. just like that.
you whirl on jake. "what the hell was that?"
jake looks genuinely confused. "what was what?"
"you—you scared him off!"
"i didn't do anything." his voice is maddeningly calm.
you shove his arm. it does nothing except hurt your hand a little. "you know what you did."
jake tilts his head, pretending to think, then steps closer, way closer, bending slightly so his face is level with yours. "if he got scared because i exist, maybe he wasn't that interested."
"you're insufferable."
"you're welcome for the ride home," he says, smiling like the world's sweetest problem.
you want to push him again.
you also want to grab him by the stupid lapel of his stupid jacket and kiss him until he can't talk like that anymore.
it's infuriating.
and it keeps happening.
you're out for brunch with friends and jake drops by to hand you the cardigan you "accidentally" stole again and suddenly the guy who'd been trying to get your number excuses himself.
you're buying ice cream at a street vendor, jake appears behind you because he was "in the neighborhood," and the guy working the cart instantly stops flirting with you mid-sentence.
you're at the bookstore, a cute grad student is recommending a title, and the moment jake walks up beside you to say, "hey, thought you wanted that coffee?" the grad student's smile just... dies.
every time, jake acts like he has no idea why.
every time, you want to scream.
one evening, you're sitting on the couch scrolling, pretending not to watch the clock, wondering when he's going to get home.
you hate that you miss him. you hate that his absence feels like silence filling the apartment too heavily.
the door unlocks. your heart jumps. you immediately scowl at yourself.
he steps in—hair messy from the wind, gym bag slung over his shoulder, wearing a fitted hoodie that absolutely shouldn't fit him that well.
"you're late," you snap, even though he isn't.
jake lifts a brow. "didn't know i had a curfew."
you huff. "whatever."
but he's already walking past you, and your eyes, traitors, follow him. the way his shoulders move. the way he reaches up to put his keys on the hook. the way his shirt lifts just slightly as he stretches.
you look away too fast and nearly drop your phone.
he notices. of course he notices. jake always notices.
he walks back toward the couch, slow, amused, hands in his pockets. you're about to make up some snarky comment when he stands directly in front of you, blocking the TV, blocking everything, and says gently:
"hey."
you blink up at him. you didn't even realize you'd been frowning.
"rough night?" he asks, voice warm, soft, impossibly soothing.
"none of your business," you mutter, crossing your arms.
but you don't move away when he leans down a little, bracing one hand on the back of the couch beside your head—not touching you, just close enough that you feel caged in.
"you know..." he says slowly, eyes dropping to your lips for one devastating second, "you don't have to act tough with me."
your throat closes. your brain refuses to function.
then—as if that wasn't enough torture—he adds, quieter, "you know i'm not the kid you used to boss around. you see that now, right?"
you hate how hot your face gets. you hate how your pulse spikes. you hate that your breath catches in your chest like you've been punched.
and you really hate how much you want him to say it again.
before you can fire back, before you can regain control, jake pushes off the couch and steps away, giving you space again.
like he didn't just ruin your entire week.
"i'm gonna shower," he says simply, like he didn't just mentally dismantle you. "order dinner if you're hungry."
you stare at him. you stare through him. then you finally breathe.
your voice comes out small. "jake?"
he pauses, glancing over his shoulder. his eyes soften in that way that makes your stomach flip inside out.
you swallow. "why do people keep assuming we're... y'know... together?"
he smiles—slow, deep, knowing.
"maybe," he says, "they're seeing something you're not ready to see yet."
your heart stops. you want to scream. you want to hit him. you want to kiss him until your knees give out. but you can't say any of that. so instead you throw a pillow at him. "shut up."
he laughs—warm, gentle, absolutely insane-making and disappears into the hallway. leaving you on the couch, heart sprinting, stomach twisted, entire world tilted sideways...
and realizing, for the first time, that you might be in very, very dangerous territory.
𓂃
you don't plan on getting jealous. you really don't. it just kind of... ambushes you, like a flying brick to the head.
the whole thing starts because your friend group decides to have a little saturday picnic in the park—very "we're adults now," very "bring something homemade," very "let's pretend our lives aren't falling apart."
you drag jake along because obviously. he has a car and you don't feel like ubering. plus, he always carries things for you without complaining, and you plan to bring at least four bags despite it being a two-hour outing.
he agrees without hesitation, because of course he does.
the morning of, he comes out of his room wearing a white t-shirt, grey sweats, a backward baseball cap, and that infuriating golden retriever smile that makes your stomach do embarrassing gymnastics.
you pretend not to notice. you absolutely notice.
"you ready?" he asks, grabbing the cooler like it weighs nothing.
you squint at him. "you're wearing that?"
he glances down at himself. "...yes?"
"to a picnic?"
"is this not... picnic attire?"
"you look like a catalogue model for 'athletic boyfriend who loves you.'"
he grins. "so i look good? i fit the part?" you blush furiously at his words, choosing to roll your eyes so dramatically it should win an award. "i didn't say that."
"but you didn't deny it."
"jake."
"yes?"
"shut up."
he just laughs and ushers you out the door with a hand on your lower back—casual, familiar, too natural.
you hate how your heart stutters. you want to be annoying on purpose, just to punish him. you succeed by making him carry every single one of your bags.
he still keeps that stupid gentle smile.
you hate it. you love it. you hate that you love it.
the picnic starts fine. your friends adore him—which annoys you for reasons you refuse to examine.
"jake's so sweet," one of them says while he helps set up the blanket.
"jake's so tall," another sighs dreamily.
"jake's so—"
"okay!" you cut in, a little too loudly. "we get it. he's perfect. shut up." everyone stares. you pretend you didn't say anything weird.
jake just throws you an amused little look like he knows exactly what's happening in your brain and is choosing to spare you.
which somehow makes it worse. then she arrives.
the problem. the villain. the enemy.
your friend's coworker—invited last minute—named mia, with perfect hair and a perfect smile and an offensively cute sundress. she spots jake instantly, like a moth to a glow-in-the-dark lantern.
"oh my god, hi," she chirps, stepping right into his space. "we haven't met yet. i'm mia."
you watch from your corner of the blanket, chewing a strawberry like you're trying to murder it with your teeth.
mia laughs at everything he says. she touches his arm at least twice. she calls him funny—funny, jake, the man who laughs at his own dad jokes and says "oopsies" when he drops things.
your eye twitches. and jake... doesn't pull away.
worse, he's being his usual self—easygoing, kind, listening fully, that soft focused attention he gives people when he genuinely likes them.
you have never hated being conscious more. your friends keep giving you meaningful looks.
you keep ignoring them. except then mia leans in closer, tiny sundress fluttering, and says, "so, are you seeing anyone?"
you nearly choke on air. jake doesn't seem fazed. "uh... i—"
"jake!" you snap, way too quickly, way too loud.
everyone stops. jake turns toward you with slow amusement raising his eyebrows. "yeah?"
"you— uh..." your brain abandons you. it packs its bags and literally leaves the continent. "you forgot to... um... help me with something."
he looks at the fully assembled picnic. "help you with what?"
"something," you repeat, sweating. "very important."
mia blinks. "oh, we can finish our conversa—"
"NOPE," you say, grabbing jake's wrist and yanking him off the blanket so fast he practically trips. "no need. bye. go touch grass or something."
you drag him behind a tree like a deranged cartoon burglar. he follows, mostly because he's trying not to laugh.
"you good?" he asks softly.
"i'm fine," you snap, glaring at him.
"you sure? because you look—" "if you say 'jealous' i'm going to drown you in the lake."
he smirks. "i was going to say 'cute,' but okay."
your brain fries like an egg on asphalt. "shut up," you whisper, but it comes out breathless.
he steps closer—not touching, but close enough that the tree is behind you and he's in front of you, warm and solid and taller than you remember.
"you dragged me away from someone mid-flirt," he murmurs, voice dropping into that low warm register that goes straight to your knees. "so i'm gonna need you to explain."
you glare up at him. "i did not. she wasn't flirting."
"she asked if i was seeing anyone."
"she was just being friendly."
"she touched my arm."
"maybe she's friendly with arms." god, you want to be friendly with his arms. "you pulled me across the park."
"i felt like walking."
"you growled." your face burns. "i did not!"
he grins—slow, devastating. "you definitely did." you shove his shoulder, which does absolutely nothing because he's built like a wall now. "you're imagining things."
"am i?"
"yes."
he leans in, inches from your face, eyes ridiculously soft and warm and knowing. "then tell me why you're mad."
you open your mouth. nothing comes out. your throat works around a sound that isn't a word.
jake watches all of it with that maddening patience—like he's been waiting years for this exact moment and can give you all the time in the world.
then, barely above a whisper, "you know i'd drop anyone the second you wanted me to... right?"
your heart stops. actually stops. you physically forget what breathing is.
and he smiles—that deeper, slower version he only gives you now—before stepping back, giving you space like he didn't just vaporize your entire soul.
"come on," he says, gentle. "before your friends think you murdered me." he starts walking back. you stare after him, stunned, furious, flustered, painfully alive.
you hate him. you really, really like him. you hate that you really, really like him.
and when mia tries to talk to him again later, he doesn't even notice—because he's too busy watching you out of the corner of his eye, like you're the only person in the park.
and that's when you know, you're doomed.
𓂃
the day starts stupidly normal, which should've been your first warning.
it's saturday. the sun is too bright. jake's already up—as always—making breakfast like some domestic prince charming he has no right to be. you stumble into the kitchen in one of his hoodies, hair a mess, mascara from last night smudged like war paint.
he glances over his shoulder, amused. "morning, trouble."
you roll your eyes because your heart does a weird little tap-dance. "you're loud."
"i haven't even said anything."
"you existing is loud."
he laughs—soft, warm, like he thinks you're hilarious even when you're being awful and goes back to cooking.
you sit at the counter, chin in your palm, watching him move around like he owns every inch of this kitchen. he does, technically, but you hate how good he looks doing it. the rolled sleeves that expose his delicious looking forearms. the concentration. the way he pushes his hair back when it falls over his forehead.
you look away before he catches you staring. he sets a plate in front of you a moment later, eggs, toast, fruit. stupidly wholesome.
you poke at it. "jake..."
"mm?"
"i need your car today." your car had been in the shop for the last few days, leaving you stranded at home majority of the day.
he pauses. not dramatically. not in a way meant to provoke you. just... pauses. "for what?"
"i need to run errands," you shrug. "grocery store, nail appointment, whatever."
he leans his hip against the counter, arms crossing. "you can take the bus. i need the car."
you blink. blink again. "...the bus?"you say it like he suggested you swim across the pacific ocean.
"yeah," he says simply. "the 14 stops right outside the building. it's not hard."
you stare at him and he stares back. somewhere deep inside your spoiled, bratty, slightly feral soul, a fuse lights.
"you're being dramatic," you declare.
"i'm being practical."
"you're supposed to help me."
"i do help you."
"not right now!" he exhales, patient but firm. "my car isn't your personal uber."
your pride twists sharply. you feel it—that hot, impulsive, immature spark that always gets you in trouble.
"wow," you snap, standing from the stool. "you get a couple muscles, a salary, and suddenly you're too good for me?" his brows lift, surprised—not offended, not angry—just surprised that you'd go for that. "i didn't say that."
"you're acting like it!"
you don't mean the words. not really. they spill out because you're flustered and embarrassed and you hate how stable he is when you're wobbling all over the emotional place. you fold your arms, chin lifted in that signature i'm-right-even-when-i'm-wrong posture.
"i'm asking for one tiny thing, jake. one. and you're giving me attitude? seriously?"
he doesn't flinch. "you're not asking," he says quietly. "you're demanding."
your pulse kicks up—defensive, stubborn. "because you're supposed to say yes!"
"why?" you hate that he says it without raising his voice. hate how calm he is while you're practically vibrating.
"because you always have!" you blurt. "you always listened to me! you always—"
"i was a kid," he says, tone low but steady. "you treated me like i didn't know how to have my own life. and back then? maybe i didn't."
you freeze. his expression softens—not pitying, not mocking —soft in the way someone looks when they finally decide to stop letting you run from something. "but i'm not that kid anymore," he says. "and you can't talk to me like i am."
your throat tightens—sharp, sudden. it's stupid how much it hits you, how fast your anger collapses into something hot and guilty.
he steps closer. not threatening. just... present.
closer than you expected. closer than your heart can handle without short-circuiting.
your voice shrinks. "i wasn't— i didn't mean—"
"yeah," he murmurs, eyes steady on yours. "i know. but you said it anyway."
you swallow. hard. jake looks down at you like he's seeing every version of you at once, bossy eight-year-old you, dramatic teenager you, chaotic adult you, and none of them scare him. none of them push him away.
"i'm not the one who needs to grow up," he says, softer now. "and i'm not trying to fight you. but i'm not here to be ordered around." the room feels too quiet suddenly. the only sound is the faint sizzle of the pan cooling on the stove and your own uneven breathing.
"i... didn't know i was doing that," you whisper.
"yeah," he says again, but gently. "that's the problem."
you look away, frustrated with yourself more than with him. and then he reaches out—slow, careful—and hooks a finger under your chin to tilt your face back up. not forceful but impossible to ignore. his voice drops just a little. warm. real. a little too intimate.
"i'm not going anywhere," he says. "i never have. but you can't keep pretending i belong to you just because i used to follow you around."
the words hit you dead center. because the truth—the horrible, humiliating, painfully raw truth—is that you didn't treat him like he was below you.
you treated him like he was yours. and somewhere along the way, he learned to walk without trailing behind you. you blink fast, trying not to let your eyes shine too much. "i... i just thought..."
"i know," he murmurs. "but that's why we're having this conversation."
you nod, small. awkward. vulnerable in a way you hate being. jake steps back slowly, giving you space without breaking eye contact.
"you can still take the bus," he says lightly. "i'll even google the schedule for you." you glare. but it's weak. he smiles, that stupid warm smile that ruins you every time. and for the first time, your bratty instinct doesn't flare up. instead, something quieter settles in your chest.
you're not sure you like it. you're very sure it has everything to do with him.
𓂃
it starts on a lazy sunday afternoon—the fake kind of lazy where you're doing nothing but somehow jake is doing everything.
he's folding laundry, humming, looking offensively good in a plain white tee, while you lie on the couch upside down, legs over the backrest, scrolling on your phone like a disgruntled cat.
you're bored. dangerous.
"jake," you call, voice dramatic, "i'm craving entertainment. entertain me." he doesn't even glance over. "i'm folding your shirts. that's entertaining."
"no, that's domestic," you correct. "you're like a husband in a detergent commercial."
"at least i smell nice?" he shrugs. you pause. he does. annoyingly so. you ignore the flutter in your stomach and point your toes at him from the upside-down position.
"tell me a story," you demand. "like bedtime story vibes. something juicy. something chaotic. something where i'm the main character—" "—which you always are," he finishes for you, snorting. "okay. fine. let's do memory lane."
you lift your head just enough to squint at him. "that sounds suspiciously sentimental."
"you're the one who asked." you flop your head back. "proceed, peasant."
he finally looks at you—that slow, amused, golden-retriever-who-knows-your-game look. "alright. remember grade four?"
"i choose not to."
"too bad," he says, sitting on the floor in front of the couch, folding the last shirt. "you announced to the whole class that we were getting married."
your phone drops onto your face. "i what—?"
he laughs, warm and full, like it's a memory he's kept safe. "yeah. you stood on a chair during recess and yelled, 'jake is gonna be my husband because he listens!'" you bury your face in your hands. "oh my god."
"you even made me a ring out of twist ties."
"stop talking."
"and then you made me swear an oath—"
"NO YOU DID NOT JUST SAY OATH—"
"—that i'd carry your backpack forever because i was 'stronger' and 'built for it'." you groan so loudly that he laughs again.
"you loved bossing me around," he says, softer now. "i still do," you shoot back, kicking his shoulder lightly with your foot. he catches your ankle. not tight, but just enough for your breath to hitch.
"i know." his voice is lower. "you were kind of terrifying."
"i was adorable," you argue, rolling his eyes.
"you were a tiny tyrant with pigtails."
"and you followed me everywhere," you retort, letting your foot rest in his hold because pulling away feels too much like losing.
"yeah," he says quietly, thumb brushing just once over your ankle before he realizes and lets go. "i did." you freeze. he doesn't look flustered, but the way he moves—slow, controlled, pretending nothing happened—tells you he definitely felt something too.
so you clear your throat and switch the subject recklessly. "well, remember when you glued your hand to a desk?" the corner of his mouth twitches. "you told me it would make me smarter."
"and you believed me!" you cackle.
"you said the glue had 'knowledge properties,'" he defends, pointing an accusing finger at you. "you said einstein invented it!"
you're laughing so hard you almost fall off the couch. he tries to stay serious, but your laugh is contagious and he ends up leaning back against the couch, head tipped against your knee as he laughs too.
you go still. his head. on your leg. like it's natural. like it's always been that way. your laugh fades into a stubborn little silence you can't name.
he notices. he always notices. "hey," he murmurs, chin tilting up just a little so he can see your upside-down face. "what's with that look?"
"what look?" you whisper, too fast.
"the one where you pretend you're annoyed but you're actually... i don't know." he searches your expression. "thinking."
you scoff. "i don't think."
"yes you do."
"nope."
"you definitely do."
"stop accusing me of intelligence!" he laughs again, but this time something softer lingers under it — something warm, something knowing. the air shifts. you hate it. or maybe you don't, maybe that's the problem.
"okay, next memory," you say quickly, tapping his forehead with your foot to break the moment. "tell me something where i look cool."
he smirks. "that never happened."
"JAKE—"
"kidding, kidding." he nudges your leg. "there was that time you punched a boy in the nose because he called me 'jakey-wakey.'"
you blink. "oh yeah. classic me."
"classic you," he echoes, smiling to himself in a way that makes your chest feel tight. and then, quietly, "you always had my back." the room goes still. your heart stutters—because he means it. because he remembers it. because he says it like it mattered.
"don't get sentimental on me, golden boy," you mumble.
"too late," he says, voice warm, teasing, but edged with something real. "you brought up memory lane. i'm just walking it."
you swallow. the dynamic tilts again—just slightly, just enough to make you feel like you're standing on the edge of something big.
so you do what you do best. you kick him lightly in the shoulder. "get up. i'm bored again." he stands, brushing imaginary dust off his shirt.
"fine," he says. "let's go get ice cream."
"you're paying, right?" he sighs. "i always do."
you grin. and he does too, like he wouldn't have it any other way.
𓂃
it starts stupidly. you're not even fighting.
you're tipsy—not blackout, not sloppy, just warm and giggly after a night out with friends. you called jake because your uber bailed and your phone was dying, and he showed up in ten minutes flat, hair messy from sleep, hoodie half-zipped, looking unfairly good for someone dragged out of bed at 1 a.m.
you slid into the passenger seat, all smug. "aww, jakey. did i wake you?"
he didn't even look at you. "put your seatbelt on."
ugh. infuriating. for the entire drive, you tried to poke at him— literally and figuratively—but he kept dodging with that maddening calm.
by the time you walk into the apartment, and by walk you mean jake carrying your flailing body—you're buzzing with irritation that isn't... really irritation.
not exactly. you kick your shoes off dramatically. "you didn't have to come get me, y'know."
he locks the door behind you. "you called," he says simply, shrugging off his hoodie. "i wasn't gonna leave you outside alone."
"i can take care of myself." he gives you a slow, deliberate once-over—the skirt, the smudged makeup, the slightly-wobbly stance.
"sure you can." you make an offended noise, fully ready to start something stupid—but he walks past you toward the kitchen.
which pisses you off more. so you follow him. obviously. he's pulling a water bottle out of the fridge when you step right into his space, eyebrows raised, chin tilted up like a challenge.
"you're ignoring me," you accuse.
"no," he says calmly. "i'm choosing not to indulge you." your stomach actually drops. oh, that tone. that new tone you still haven't learned how to handle.
you scoff. "wow. someone got confident."
"someone had to," he says. and then—god help you—he steps closer. not touching you, just closer.
your back meets the counter, cold through your shirt. he sets the water bottle beside you but doesn't move away. he's right there—warm, solid, taller, broader than he ever was as a kid—and he's looking at you like he can see every thought you're trying to hide.
"you good?" he asks softly. that should be a normal question. but it isn't.your throat goes tight. "i'm fine." he inhales once, slow, like he's counting to five because of you. "you're doing that thing again."
"what thing," you snap too quickly.
"pretending you don't want something," he murmurs, "just because you don't wanna admit i'm the one you want it from."
your breath actually stops. you hate how your hands grip the counter; you hate how your pulse stutters; you hate that he can hear it, probably feel it, with how close he is.
"you think i want something from you?" you manage, trying to sound bored. he leans in, not touching. but close enough that his breath brushes your cheek.
"i think," he says quietly, "you wouldn't have called me tonight if you didn't." your voice comes out small. "i called because my uber bailed."
he smiles. slow. knowing. devastating. "sure," he says. "if that's the lie you wanna stick to."
you actually shove him. well—you try. your hands hit his chest, but he doesn't budge an inch. he just looks down at you with that infuriating calm, like you're cute for even attempting it.
"don't—" your voice breaks, and you hate that too. "don't talk like you know everything."
he corners you fully now, one hand resting on the counter beside your hip, the other lifting—slowly, giving you time—until his fingers hover under your jaw. not touching. just waiting.
"i'm not the one pretending here," he says softly. "i'm not pretending anything."
"yeah?" he whispers. "then look at me." you do. you shouldn't have.
his eyes are warm and dark and unbearably sure of you—like he's known this moment was coming since you were both twelve and you bossed him into giving you the last popsicle on the block. like he's been waiting for you to catch up.
"you can be a brat to everyone else," he says, barely above a murmur. "but you don't get to lie to me." your chest pulls tight, breath shaking, and you don't realize you've gone still until he tilts his head, studying you.
"there it is," he whispers. "finally." finally what? finally you stop running? finally you stop pretending you don't want him? finally you admit you're not the one with the power anymore?
you don't know. you just know your voice is barely a whisper, "...jake." something changes in his face. not anger. not triumph. just... relief. warm and deep and terrifying.
he leans closer, his forehead almost touching yours and his voice drops, low and steady, "i'm not gonna kiss you tonight," he says. "you're drunk."
you swallow hard, embarrassed and grateful and furious all at once. "but tomorrow?" he adds, eyes flicking to your mouth for half a second.
your knees actually go weak, tomorrow? "tomorrow," he says, "you don't get to run." and he steps back. leaving you breathless, cornered by nothing but your own heartbeat.
you wake up with your skull splitting in two, your mouth dry, and the horrifying, slow–motion realization that you remember every single thing that happened last night.
the way jake lifted you off that sidewalk like you weighed nothing. the way he held you steady while you tried to unlock the door and failed miserably.
the way he said it—low, warm, devastating, "you can be a brat to everyone else. but you don't get to lie to me." and worst of all, the way he looked at you afterward. like he was two seconds away from kissing you senseless against your own doorway.
you roll onto your back, throw an arm over your face, and groan.
"oh my god i hate it here," you mutter into your pillow. "i should move out. i should join a monastery. i should fake my death."
a soft knock hits your door. your entire soul leaves your body. "hey," jake's voice calls, maddeningly gentle. "i made breakfast." you consider leaping out the window. instead you croak, "i'm... busy."
"you're hungover."
"busy being hungover." he laughs—that warm, breathy laugh that you hear way too clearly through the door.
"come eat. i won't bite." liar, you think, dragging yourself out of bed. you almost did. you trudge down the hall in an oversized hoodie and socks, praying he looks terrible so you can at least feel morally superior.
he does not look terrible. he's standing at the stove in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, hair damp, shoulders broad, forearms flexing as he plates food. the apartment is stupidly bright, the sun hits him like it's personally in love.
you want to die. you try to sneak to the fridge for water and pretend he doesn't exist. he turns just in time to catch you.
"morning," he says. you nearly drop the bottle. "...hi."
he raises an eyebrow. "that's it? no yelling? no demands?" you glare at him weakly. "i'm on sick leave."
"mhm." he sets a plate in front of you. "how's the headache?"
"big."
"water's on the table."
"i know."
"you didn't drink it."
"...i was getting emotionally prepared," you mumble. he smiles—soft, amused, slightly pitying—and sits across from you.mthe silence is unbearable. you poke at your eggs like they personally offended you. "so. about last night."
"yeah," he says calmly, sipping his coffee. "about last night." you brace yourself. you don't know what you're expecting—a lecture? a joke? him pretending it didn't happen?
what you don't expect is him leaning back in his chair, eyes flicking over your face like he can see every thought you're trying to drown.
"you were pretty honest," he says softly. you choke on air. "i— what— honest how?" he tilts his head. "you kept grabbing me."
"NO I DID NOT—"
"you did," he says, annoyingly unbothered. "kept saying i 'smelled stupidly good' and that i 'ruined guys' for you." you want the earth to open up and swallow you. "i was drunk," you whisper.
"i know." he nods. "that's why you didn't lie." your heart stutters. his voice drops, the same tone he used last night—warm, steady, too real.
"you don't have to freak out," he murmurs. "i'm not asking for anything." you stare at him. "you're being... weirdly nice."
"i'm always nice to you."
"you're being extra nice." his lips twitch. "you're hungover."
"i don't trust it."
"that says more about you than me," he says, and you actually consider throwing your fork at him. but then... he pushes his chair back. stands. walks around the table. you freeze as he stops right beside you. not touching you, he never touches first, but close enough that your entire body tenses.
"look at me," he says quietly. you do, because what other choice do you have. his eyes hold yours, steady and dark and impossibly sure.
"what i said last night wasn't because you were drunk." a beat. "i meant it." your breath catches. your fingers curl around the edge of your chair. "jake..."
he leans down just a little—not enough to cross the line, but enough that you feel him, warm and solid at your side. "you can avoid me all you want today," he murmurs. "hide in your room. glare at me. pretend you don't remember."
your heart is hammering so loudly you're scared he can hear it. "but we're not going back," he finishes. "not after last night." you can't speak. you can't move. you can't breathe. he straightens slowly, like he knows exactly what he just did to you, and steps back.
"eat your breakfast," he says lightly, already turning toward the sink. "you need your strength." you stare at his back, absolutely feral with confusion and panic and want.
because he's right. everything has changed and you're the one who feels ruined.
the rest of the day is... hell. you hide in your room because you're a coward with a hangover and a heart that won't stop doing gymnastics. you scroll on your phone. you pretend to nap. you dramatically throw yourself on your bed like a victorian widow.
unfortunately, your bedroom shares a wall with the living room.
which means you hear everything. you hear jake laughing softly at his phone. you hear him moving around, cleaning, humming, doing dishes. you hear him existing like the universe didn't tilt on its axis last night.
and every time he shifts, every time the floor creaks, your stomach flips like it's auditioning for a reality show.
around 5 p.m., you crack. you storm out of your room under the noble excuse of "checking if he replaced the Brita filter," which is a lie, but you're committed to the bit.
jake is on the couch. hair damp again from the gym. black t-shirt stretched over his shoulders. sweatpants hanging too low for god's favorites, let alone you, god's forgotten middle child.
he looks up the second you appear.
"hey." so casual. so normal. so illegal.
you fold your arms. "why are you acting weird?"
he blinks. "...i'm literally sitting."
"you're sitting weird." he bites back a smile. "okay. how does one sit weird?"
"like that!" you snap, gesturing vaguely at his whole body. "all... confident."
"i'm sorry?" he laughs, leaning back. "you want me to slouch more?"
"i want you to stop—" you choke on your own words. "—being like... this."he tilts his head. "like what?" you should walk away. run. escape. join witness protection. instead you stomp closer. "stop being smug about last night." his eyebrows lift. "i'm not smug."
"you are," you fire back. "you're doing the eyes."
"...the eyes?"
"yes! the—" you wildly point at his face "—'i know something you're not admitting' eyes." his lips twitch. "maybe because you are avoiding something."
you freeze. he didn't say it sharply. or cruelly. just... plainly. softly. like he's stating the weather.
"i'm not avoiding anything," you lie.
"okay." he pats the couch. "come sit, then." you scoff. "no."
"why not?"
"because." because you don't know what will happen. because you don't trust your own body around him. because his voice last night is still echoing in your bones. "because?" he repeats gently.
you glare. you hate him. you hate that he's winning. you hate that he's not even trying to win. "fine," you snap, and drop onto the couch beside him.
the space between you is legal... but barely. jake doesn't move. doesn't lean in. doesn't touch. he simply turns his head and looks at you.
slowly. openly. like he's reading a book he's already memorized. your pulse stutters. "what?" you demand.
his voice is quiet. "you still look upset."
"i'm not upset."
"you're doing the eyebrows."
you gasp. "I DO NOT—"
"you do," he murmurs, and the tone—god, that tone—almost makes you shake. "you always do when you're overwhelmed." you hate how he knows that. you hate how he knows anything. you hate how safe he makes it feel to be known.
"jake," you say, trying to sound sharp. "stop... looking at me like that."
"like what?"
"like you're—" you swallow "—waiting for me to break." he's quiet for a beat. then, "i'm not waiting," he says softly. "you already are."
your breath catches. he doesn't smirk. he doesn't tease. he just watches you—steady, patient, unbearably gentle. and something in you snaps. "you think you know everything," you whisper.
"no." he shakes his head once. "i just know you."
your throat tightens. you push up from the couch —too fast, too dramatic, too you—but before you can escape, his hand closes around your wrist.
not hard. not forceful. just enough, enough to stop you. enough to pull a tiny gasp from your mouth. enough to make your knees weaken embarrassingly fast.
you stare at him and he stares right back.
"don't run," he murmurs.
"i'm not—"
"you are." his hand slides down, fingers brushing yours. "why are you scared of me?"
"i'm not scared of you," you whisper.
"then look at me." you do and that's your mistake. because he stands and steps into your space. not touching, but close enough that your breath stumbles. your legs buckle beneath you and you find yourself sitting on the sofa again.
your back presses into the sofa without you thinking, his body following, not pinning you, but caging you all the same—one arm braced above your head, the other still holding your wrist like he's reminding you he could've touched more, but chose restraint instead.
his breath ghosts your cheek. "this is what you wanted last night," he says quietly.
your stomach flips so violently you almost fold.
"i— you— i was drunk," you manage.
"you're sober now."
you hate him. you want him. you hate that you want him. his forehead drops to yours—barely touching, barely there, but it feels like a strike of lightning.
"say it," he murmurs, voice dropping to that devastating low. "just once. stop lying to me." you swallow so hard it hurts. "jake..."
his thumb skims the back of your hand—the first real touch—slow and devastating and enough to make heat coiling in your stomach spike.
"say it," he repeats, even softer now. "and i won't make you wait anymore." you gasp. you could feel your chest press in and your thigh clench together, an action that doenst go unnoticed by jake's sharp eyes.
your whole body trembles under his breath, his closeness, his voice and he feels it, oh he absolutely feels it. he smirks, barely. and then, in a tone that is not patient anymore, not gentle anymore—a tone that is pure control, "don't make me ask again."
your mouth parts. your pulse jumps. the line is right there—the moment before the moment—and you know if you speak, if you admit one more thing, everything you've been holding back is going to break wide open.
and he's waiting. breathing with you. holding you still. letting you fall on your own.
your mouth opens, but the only sound is a shaky, pathetic little gasp. your brain is screaming at you to shove him, to run, to do something—anything—but your body is a traitor. it's melting. sinking into the wall of the couch, arching just the tiniest bit toward him, like a flower leaning into the sun.
his thumb presses into the soft skin of your inner wrist, a slow, deliberate circle that feels like a brand. "i'm waiting," he murmurs, and his voice isn't gentle anymore. it's low. rough. it's the voice of someone who's done waiting.
"i—" you try, but the word dissolves. your pride is a flimsy shield against the sheer force of him. he's not just jake anymore. he's the boy who memorized your every whim, who learned your tells, who grew up and sharpened all that quiet observation into a weapon aimed directly at your defenses.
"look at me," he says again, and you do. you have to. his eyes are dark, pinned on yours, and there's no escape in them. there's only the truth. "say it."
"i hate you," you whisper, and it's the most honest thing you've ever said. a slow, vicious smile spreads across his face. it's not triumphant. it's relieved. "no you don't," he breathes, and then he closes the last inch of space.
the first kiss is a collision. it's not soft. it's not hesitant. it's a punishment. his mouth is firm on yours, bruising, and before you can even process it, his teeth are sinking into your bottom lip, a sharp, stinging bite that makes you cry out.
he licks over the hurt immediately, a hot, possessive swipe, and then he's kissing you again, all teeth and tongue, a messy, hungry claim. he's devouring you, and you're letting him. you're arching into him, your free hand fisting the soft cotton of his t-shirt, pulling him closer.
he breaks the kiss, leaving you panting, your lip tingling. his forehead rests on yours, his breathing just as ragged. "see?" he murmurs, his voice a low rumble that vibrates through your entire body. "not so hard, was it?"
you want to snap back, but all you can manage is a weak, breathless glare.
he chuckles, a dark, warm sound. "still got that look in your eye," he says, his thumb stroking the side of your neck. "like you're planning my murder."
"maybe i am," you whisper, dazed out of your mind.
"good luck with that," he says, and then he's manhandling you. his hands grip your waist, and he's spinning you, pushing you forward until your knees hit the edge of the couch. he bends you over the arm, one hand flat between your shoulder blades, holding you down. the position is obscene, your ass in the air, face pressed into the couch cushions.
"these," he says, his voice low and rough as he hooks his fingers in the waistband of your sleep shorts, "have been driving me crazy for a week."
he tugs them down, slowly, deliberately, and you lift your hips to help him, a silent surrender that feels more powerful than any argument you've ever won. he tosses them aside, his gaze dropping to the thin lace of your panties.
"so much for being subtle," he murmurs, and you flush, because he knows. he knows you wore them for him. you always do.
then his hand is gone from your back for a second, and you hear the sharp sound of it cutting through the air before it connects with your ass. a sharp, stinging slap that makes you yelp into the cushions.
"that's for being a fucking tease," he growls, his hand rubbing the sting into your skin. another slap, this one on the other cheek. "and that's for making me wait."
he yanks your panties down, and the cool air hits your dripping pussy. you're so wet it's embarrassing. "look at this," he breathes, and then you feel it—a sharp, stinging slap right against your folds. you jolt, a choked moan tearing from your throat. it's a different kind of pain, sharper, more intimate.
"so fucking wet for me. you wanted this just as bad as i did, didn't you?"
he doesn't wait for an answer. he's on his knees behind you, his hands gripping your ass cheeks and spreading you open. you feel his hot breath a second before his mouth is on you. he doesn't start slow. he licks a broad, flat stripe from your clit to your entrance, a messy, hungry taste before his lips close around your clit and he sucks. hard.
your knees buckle, but his grip on you is iron. he's a man possessed. he eats you out like he's starving, his tongue fucking into you, his nose pressing against your ass, his teeth scraping your inner thighs. he bites down on the sensitive skin there, hard enough to leave a mark, and you sob, pushing back against his face. he's obsessed. he's consuming you.
he groans at the taste of you, his tongue messy yet precise as he slide down your folds making your squirm. "jake, please," you gasp, your hands fisting the couch cushions.
he pulls back just enough to speak, his voice muffled by your cunt. "please what? beg for it."
"please, i need—"
"need what?" he demands, landing another sharp slap to your pussy. the sting mixes with the pleasure, a dizzying cocktail. you feel his fingers tease your clenching hole, not quite pushing in but instead dip in slightly before running over to rub at your swollen clit.
"your cock," you sob, completely broken. "please, jake, i need your cock."
he groans, a deep, guttural sound of victory. he stands up, and you hear the rustle of his jeans. then he's grabbing you, flipping you over onto your back on the couch like you weigh nothing. he looms over you, his shirt gone, his chest heaving. his eyes are wild, feral.
"open your mouth," he commands, his hand reaching between your legs to rub tight circles around your clit while you struggle to keep your legs open.
you do, without thinking. he leans down, spits directly onto your tongue. it's filthy, degrading, and it sends a bolt of pure lust straight through you. "swallow it," he orders, and you do, your eyes locked on his.
his expression morphs into one of pure bliss, his hand wrapped around his thick aching cock as he jerks himself slightly. he watches your needy mouth pull into a whine when his fingers press harder on your clit, pleading for him to fuck you.
originally, he was going to tease you. have you begging and crying for his cock, but he overestimated his ability to hold back when he realized how good you looked fucked out.
"good girl," he murmurs, and then he's lining himself up, the thick head of his cock pressing against your entrance. he doesn't wait. he pushes into you in one hard, deep stroke, and you both groan. he's big, stretching you, filling you completely, and it's overwhelming in the best possible way.
he starts to move, his hips slamming into yours, a brutal, punishing rhythm. each thrust is deep, deliberate, designed to break you apart. he leans down, sinking his teeth into the soft skin where your neck meets your shoulder, a hard, possessive bite that you know will leave a dark bruise.
"mine," he growls against your skin, his pace quickening. "you've always been mine." his hands fumble to pull up your shirt, eyes bright when he realizes that you weren't wearing a bra. his greedy hands grab at you tits, pinching and squeezing as he watched your face scrunch in pleasure.
"so fucking pretty." he mummers, his cock pounding into you strong before his mouth reach's down to take in one of your nipples—sucking hard.
you whine in response, hands clawing at his shoulders as you arch unnaturally against the couch.
"been waiting for this day for years." he confesses, between kisses that he's leaving on your chest. your heart beats faster at his sudden confession, moaning louder when his cock brushes against that all get area that many of your ex's had trouble finding.
the coil in your stomach tightens, impossibly fast. he can feel it too, can feel the way you're clenching around him, and he reaches down, his thumb finding your clit, rubbing tight, merciless circles.
"cum for me," he commands, his voice a low growl. "now."
you shatter. a blinding, all-consuming orgasm rips through you. you scream his name, your body arching off the couch as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you. he follows you over the edge a moment later, his hips stuttering as he buries himself deep inside you with a guttural groan, spilling himself into you.
you shudder at the feeling of his warm cum in you, feeling him twitch inside you as he helped you ride out your high.
he collapses on top of you, his body heavy and warm, his face buried in the crook of your neck. you're both panting, your bodies slick with sweat, the room filled with the sound of your ragged breathing.
for a long moment, neither of you speaks. you just lie there, tangled together, the aftermath of the storm settling around you.
finally, he pushes himself up, his arms braced on either side of your head. he looks down at you, his expression soft, his eyes filled with a terrifying amount of adoration. he leans down and presses a soft, gentle kiss to the bite mark on your neck.
"still hate me?" he murmurs, a ghost of a smile on his lips.
you look up at him, at the boy you've spent a lifetime fighting, and feel something inside you crack open. "no," you whisper, and it's the truest thing you've ever said.
the room is still warm.not from the heater, not from the blankets—from him. from the way he touched you. from the way you touched him back.
you're lying on your back, hair messy, chest still rising too fast, your skin flushed in a way you hope isn't obvious... but you know it is. jake's spread out beside you, one arm tucked behind his head, the other lazily resting across your stomach like he claimed the space there without even thinking about it.
you don't speak at first. neither does he.
your breathing gradually falls back into something human, and eventually something soft and unbearably embarrassing curls into your voice.
"so," you mumble, staring at the ceiling because looking at him might actually kill you. "um. that happened."
jake turns his head toward you slowly—so slowly your pulse skips like it's trying to escape your body.
he doesn't tease. he doesn't joke. he doesn't even smirk. he just looks at you, eyes dark and soft and deeply certain in a way that makes your stomach twist.
"yeah," he says quietly. "it did."
you swallow. his fingers move—not leaving your stomach, just tracing lazy, slow circles like he's memorizing the shape of you now that he's allowed to.
"are you..." his voice dips, warm and low, "okay?"
you shut your eyes for one humiliating second before answering.
"i'm fine."
"you sure?"
"yes."
"positive?"
"jake, please," you groan, dragging your hands over your face. "i'm fine, you're fine, everything's—whatever."
he laughs, soft and breathy, and his hand slides higher on your torso—warm palm resting just beneath your ribs without pushing, without restraining, just there.
and the worst part? you lean into it without thinking.
he notices—of course he notices—because his thumb presses lightly, intentionally, like he's acknowledging the way you reacted.
your voice comes out embarrassingly small. "stop acting like you know everything."
"i don't," he murmurs. "i just know you."
you turn your head sharply, finally meeting his eyes—which was a mistake, because he's already looking at you like he's been waiting for you to do it.
and he holds your gaze. fully. openly. no hesitation left whatsoever.
god, he's bold now. not arrogant. not smug. just... sure.
sure of you. sure of himself. sure of what he wants.
"i meant what i said," he says, the slightest rasp in his voice. "you don't get to lie to me anymore."
you swallow, throat tight. "i wasn't—"
he cuts you off with nothing but a look. a look that tells you exactly what he heard in your voice earlier, in your breathing, in the way you clung to him.
"you don't have to pretend," he adds quietly. "not here. not with me."
your chest squeezes.
no one has ever said that to you before—not like that, not with that kind of certainty, not with that kind of gentleness that feels like he's handing you permission you didn't even know you craved.
so you whisper—barely audible, "i'm not pretending."
his breath catches. barely, but you hear it. then he shifts—not climbing over you, not pulling you in —just rolling onto his side, facing you fully, his leg brushing yours under the blanket that he has pulled over you two.
his voice drops to something dangerously soft.
"good," he murmurs. "because I'm not pretending anymore either."
you blink. "pretending what?"
he leans in, just enough that you feel his breath against your cheek, his nose brushing the corner of yours.
"that I don't want you," he says simply.
your stomach drops straight through the mattress. he keeps going, voice steady, tone low but honest in a way that shakes you more than anything else tonight.
"i'm done acting like I don't think about you all the time," he whispers. "i'm done holding back because I thought it was what you wanted."
your lips part, but nothing comes out.
his thumb grazes your hip under the blanket— slow, barely there, but intentional. grounding. claiming. reassuring.
"i'm done pretending you're just my friend."
your pulse jumps so hard you swear it echoes.
you stare at him—dazed, breathless, overwhelmed.
"jake..."
he just watches you, eyes soft, voice steady.
"you don't have to say anything tonight," he murmurs. "you don't owe me anything. i just need you to know."
you whisper, "know what?"
he holds your gaze like he's anchoring you in place.
"that I want you."
your breath stops.
"that I'm not scared of it."
his fingers tighten just slightly on your hip. "that I'm not scared of you."
you tremble.
"and that I'm not going anywhere."
the room feels too small. too warm. too full of everything you've been running from.
you look at him, really look, and something cracks open in your chest. you don't know what to do with it. you don't know how to breathe around it.
but he does. he reaches up, cups the back of your neck with a gentleness that ruins you more than anything else tonight, and he tugs you in just a little—not kissing you, just touching foreheads, sharing breath.
"we'll talk tomorrow," he murmurs. "when you're less in your head."
you want to argue. you want to push him away.
you want to pull him closer.
you end up doing none of those things—instead you melt, slowly, helplessly, into the space he holds open for you.
he pulls the blanket up. shifts closer. lets your head rest on his chest when you finally, silently, give in.
his hand stays on your back.
steady. warm. sure.
and for the first time, it hits you—painfully, beautifully, terrifyingly, you're not the only one who fell.
𓂃
you wake up before him.
which is unfair, honestly, because you absolutely deserve to sleep in after what he did to you.
your legs ache in that humiliating, delicious way. your throat is dry. your body is warm, too warm, because jake's arm is still around your waist, lazy and heavy and possessive even in sleep.
his breath ghosts the back of your neck. your, his, hoodie that he had helped you slip on last night was now halfway off your shoulder because of him. your pulse is still not normal.
you lie there, staring at the ceiling of the divining room, trying not to combust.
you should be embarrassed. you're not. you should be panicking. you are.
but underneath all of that—buried under the adrenaline and the dizzy aftershocks—there's this new, terrifyingly soft awareness sitting in your chest.
you want him.
in a way that isn't just physical. in a way that isn't just bratty competition. in a way that makes your stomach twist because you know it didn't start last night.
it started way, way before that.
your brain drifts—uninvited, unstoppable—right back to the beginning.
flashback — age 9, the playground
you're wearing a sparkly t-shirt and a crooked ponytail because you cut your own hair with safety scissors. jake is sitting in the sandbox, building something horrifyingly ugly but he swears it's a castle.
you stomp up to him, hands on hips, full attitude, even back then.
"you're doing it wrong," you announce.
he doesn't even look up. "hi to you too."
"jake. that's not a castle. that's a blob."
"it's abstract."
"it's ugly."
he sighs—that tiny, patient sigh that would become his trademark. "okay. what do you want me to do?"
"move over."
you don't wait. you physically shove him two scoots to the left and plop down beside him like you own the sandbox.
he moves. he always moves.
you grab his bucket. "we need more water."
he blinks at you, confused. "um... then go get some?"
you fix him with the most dramatic stare your nine-year-old face can manage.
"...i don't want to."
he laughs—that same soft little huff he still does —and stands up, brushing sand off his shorts.
"fine. i'll go."
"thank you," you say, like you're the queen of england.
when he comes back carrying a wobbly, half-filled bucket, you beam. you don't say thank you again, but he sees it in your face.
he hands you the bucket. but you don't take it.
you tilt your head and say, completely serious, "you pour it."
he should argue. he should tell you to do it yourself. he should tell you you're bossy. instead, without hesitation, he kneels and does exactly what you want.
and you lean closer—too close—watching him work, feeling weirdly fluttery and warm because jake listens to you in a way no one else does.
you don't know what it means at that age.
you just know it feels special.
later, when a group of older kids tries to take over your half-finished castle, you puff up, ready to argue—but jake steps in first.
"this is ours," he says firmly.
the kids back off and you stare at him like he's a superhero.
you don't understand your feelings, not then. but years later, lying in his bed with his arm around you, remembering the way nine-year-old jake defended your ugly sandcastle like it mattered?
you finally get it. it started there. it always started there.
back to present
you wake fully with a heavy breath and a heavier realization, you want to tell him. you want to admit it. you want to say something terrifyingly real like i think i've liked you since we were kids or i don't want last night to be a one-time thing or i want you.
and that's the problem.
because wanting is easy. saying it out loud is not.
so when jake shifts behind you, murmuring softly into your hair, "morning..." in that gravelly, post-sleep voice.
you panic. full feral panic.
you slip out of his arms, ignore his sleepy protest and practically flee the room.
you don't make eye contact during breakfast.
you don't sit near him. you don't let him touch you, even though he tries—a hand on your waist, a brush of his fingers, small things that make your breath hitch.
he notices. of course he notices. he doesn't push, though. he just watches you with that calm, frustrating, evolved-from-childhood patience.
"everything okay?" he asks at one point.
you say, "yep!" like an idiot and then walk away before you faint.
cowardice: 1
you: 0
you're on the couch later, pretending to scroll your phone, doing a terrible job of acting normal. jake is in the kitchen, on speakerphone, fixing something near the sink.
you're not listening. until you are.
because a girl's voice floats through the speaker—bright, flirty, familiar.
"so you're free this weekend?"
you freeze. jake hums. "yeah, probably."
the girl laughs. "good. i was hoping we could go out again."
again? AGAIN??
your vision goes sharp. hot. you sit up so fast your neck cracks.
jake notices the sound and glances over his shoulder—but you're already looking at him with an expression that could kill crops.
he mouths, 'what?' you don't answer.
the girl keeps talking. "my friends keep asking about you," she giggles. "they think you're cute."
you go still. silent. dangerously silent.
jake's eyes flick to your face and something about your expression makes him stand up straighter, makes his brow pull slightly together.
"uh—" he clears his throat. "can i call you back?"
"sure! text me later."
he hangs up and the kitchen goes too quiet. he wipes his hands on a towel and steps toward you slowly, cautiously, the way someone approaches a wild animal that might bite.
"hey," he says softly.
you don't respond. you just stare at him, jaw tight, heat ticking under your skin in a way that feels feral.
"that was... a friend," he offers.
you blink once. just once. but your eyes are sharp and possessive and nothing like the bratty irritation he's used to handling.
he stops walking. "what's going on?" he asks gently.
and that's when it hits him—the realization flickers across his face.
your posture. your eyes. the way you're holding your phone like you want to throw it at the wall.
you're jealous. not playful jealous. not the type of jealousy you showed at the park when mina, mona, mia whatever the fuck her name is was hitting on him. not petty jealous. real, territorial, chest-tightening jealous.
and jake has never seen you like that. his breath changes. his shoulders straighten. his whole energy shifts—calm, sure, controlled, like something in him clicks perfectly into place.
"come here," he says quietly.
you don't move. your throat is tight. your stomach is hot. everything in you is wound too tight to speak.
"come here," he repeats, firmer this time but still soft.
you finally stand. slow. tight. bristling with emotion you don't know how to name yet.
you walk toward him until you're only a foot away, eyes burning into his. he looks down at you—and there's something in his gaze you've never seen before.
and then—you can feel him watching you. that stupid half-smirk, that stupid relaxed posture like he didn't just back you against the counter a few days ago, hands on your waist, voice warm enough to melt your spine. like he didn't murmur things that have been replaying in your head nonstop.
and what makes it worse? he looks so unbothered. like he knows something you don't. he always does.
"you're awfully quiet," he says from the couch, leaning his head back like he's bored. "you only shut up when something's bothering you."
you glare at him. "nothing's bothering me."
"mm." his eyes drag lazily up your legs, slow enough to make you want to throw something at him. "so it's just your attitude that's loud today."
"jake."
"what?" he grins. "you get weird whenever someone gets too close to the truth. you always have."
you cross your arms, heat rushing to your cheeks. "don't start."
he sits up like he's been waiting for that.
"start what? pushing you?" a shrug. "you like when i do that."
you hate how your pulse jumps. you hate how he hears it. "you're so full of yourself."
"no," he says softly, "i just know you."
and the way he says it—warm, sure, familiar—makes your stomach twist in that embarrassing way you can never hide from him.
you turn away, but he laughs under his breath.
"see? there it is." he shuffles and steps in front of you, tilting his head. "that little flinch. the one you get when you're about to run your mouth but you don't know how to without admitting something."
"i don't have anything to admit," you snap—too fast, too sharp, too obvious. he raises a brow.
"okay," he murmurs, stepping closer, "then tell me why you've been avoiding looking at me since i had you pinned against that sofa with my cock deep inside of you."
you almost choke at his vulgarity.
"i— that— that was—"
"yeah," he says, eyes dropping to your mouth, "exactly."
you push his shoulder, out of pure panic. "shut up."
he laughs, catching your wrist midway, gentle but firm. "that's what i mean."
your breath stutters. "you've always been like this," he says, voice low. "bratty, loud, impossible. acting like you're the one in charge. you'd push me around, yell at me, boss me around—" his thumb brushes your pulse. "—and i loved every second of it."
your heart stops. you meet his eyes, stunned, and he smiles like he's been waiting years for that reaction.
"you liked that?" your voice cracks.
"of course i did." his tone warms, softens. "i loved that you treated me like i was yours without even realizing it."
your face burns and you whisper, "then why won't you let me do it anymore?" he steps in—close enough to feel his breath on your lips.
"because," he murmurs, "i finally realized something." your throat tightens. "what?" his eyes drop to your mouth, slow... deliberate.
"it's fun being pushed around by you," he says, "but it's even more fun watching you fall apart when i push back."
your knees go weak. he notices—of course he does—and his hand slides to steady your hip, fingers pressing just enough to make your breath catch.
"see?" he whispers. "this is why i don't mind waiting for you to confess." you swallow hard. "i'm not confessing."
"you already are."
"no i'm—"
"you are." he smirks. "and you'll say it any minute now." your eyes narrow. "you're impossible."
"mm. and you like me."
your face flames. "shut up." he leans in, lips brushing your cheek—not a kiss, but close enough to ruin you.
"say it," he murmurs. "c'mon. you've been holding it in for years." you shove him again—weakly this time. "god, jake, you're so—"
"annoying?" he offers.
"cocky."
"you like that too."
you groan in frustration. "fine! okay? i like you. i've liked you for a long time. happy now?"
his breath hitches—barely—but you feel it. then he smiles—slow, victorious, soft around the edges.
"very."
you try to look away but he catches your chin with two fingers. "hey," he whispers, "look at me."
you do and his voice drops—deeper, rougher. "you think i didn't know?" a slow shake of his head. "i've always known."
your pulse pounds. "and i didn't say anything," he admits, "because you... being like this? all flustered and mouthy and stubborn? it's the cutest thing in the world."
your knees actually wobble and his grip tightens.
"and now that i know you want me too..." he leans in, lips barely brushing yours—never quite touching. "...i'm gonna enjoy every second of this."
and then he kisses you. not careful. not patient. like he's been holding himself back for years and finally lets the dam break.
your back hits the counter, his hand sliding into your hair, tilting your head exactly the way he wants. he drinks in the little gasp you make, smirking against your mouth like he knew it'd happen.
you try to kiss him harder, try to take control, but he catches your wrists—pinning them lightly above your head, just enough pressure to make your stomach flip.
"see?" he murmurs against your lips. "told you. it's fun pushing you around." you whimper—quiet, involuntary. his lips curve. "there she is."
he kisses you again, slower this time, deeper, his mouth warm and sure and maddeningly steady. like he wants you to feel every second of it.
when he finally pulls back, your wrists are still caught in his hand, your chest rising and falling too fast.
he brushes his nose against yours, smiling softly—smug, but affectionate. "you can push me around later," he says, "but right now... let me have this."
you bite your lip, trying not to melt.
"jake?"
"yeah?"
"don't stop."
his smile is lethal. "wasn't planning to."
— enjoy this fic? check out my other ones right here!
SUMMARY: after ferrari’s golden boy crashes in order to save his teammate, he is stuck at the hospital with burns all over his body. between long shifts and the hospital’s desolation, he brings a light in your life that is hard to forget once he’s free to go home.
WARNINGS: feat enhypen RIKI and JAKE. hospital settings, medical terms, mentions of car crashes, blood, burns, mentions of death (brief description, not detailed), mentions of abusive parent, medical conditions, lmk if more. NOT PROOFREAD.
a/n: i believe this could’ve turned out better but i wanted to publish my babies (i’ve been writing them since this summer) so please lmk your thought and opinions!! 🩷🫶 RIKI’S SEQUEL IS OUT!!
The emergency room had seen chaos before, but tonight felt heavier.
It started with sirens, loud and insistent, even through the thick hospital walls, and a nurse rushing in with wide eyes and a shaking tablet.
“Two criticals inbound, Formula one accident. One with full-body burns and head trauma, the other with a compound leg fracture and suspected internal bleeding.”
You didn’t look up until the gurneys were rolled in. The automatic doors swung open with a hiss, letting in two stretchers, wheeled fast.
The first man on the left stretcher wasn’t moving, blood was matting the dark fringe of his hair, and his face was pale under the running crimson.
His racing suit, at least, what remained of it, was slit down the middle already, soaked through.
The other one was conscious, barely. He was moaning low, his gloved hand clutching at his stomach.
His helmet was off, but there were burn marks curling along the side of his jaw, climbing his neck like vines. His left eye was bloodshot, and blood was crusting near his temple.
Someone called names, the trauma doctor barking orders, nurses scattering.
"Male, in his twenties, suspected third-degree burns, signs of cranial impact, get a scan, now!”
You walked beside them, flipping through the patient file as quickly as it populated.
Blood type, height, weight, nothing else yet. No names. Just codenames and a tag: F1 INCIDENT – NIGHT PRACTICE RUN.
The burn patient was rushed straight into the burn unit. The younger one too, the boy, he looked like a boy, no older than nineteen, with a mess of internal damage. You heard the word “rupture.” Someone else said “splintered bone.”
The moment the doors shut behind the burning team, you exhaled and leaned against the wall.
“Oh my God.” One of the nurses beside you whispered. “That’s Lee Heeseung and Nishimura Riki… holy shit.”
You blinked. “Who?”
The girl stared at you like you had three heads. “Heeseung? He’s like… a living legend in F1. He won Monaco last year blind in one eye… you seriously don’t know?”
You shrugged. “Not really my thing.”
She shook her head. “Well, it’l be now.”
And in fact, two hours later, you were re-assigned.
“Y/N, you’ll be in the burning unit monitoring, in a private suite.” The charge nurse handed you a clipboard. “VIP patient.”
You glanced down at the name, written in capital letters: LEE HEESEUNG
The report was horrifying, with skin grafts that started on both arms and his left shoulder, smoke inhalation damage that would be treated by manually removing it with a tube in the lung.
Followed by a nasty concussion with swelling that had the neurosurgeon double-checking his pupils every ten minutes, and last but not least a multiple rib fractures from the crash impact.
He’d been put in a medically induced coma for the first few hours, and the sedation wouldn’t wear off until sometime tomorrow. You’d be there to monitor vitals, manage the IV, prep for re-evaluation.
His room was on the east wing, he kind of suite reserved for politicians or royalty.
You slipped inside quietly. Heeseung looked worse now that everything was cleaned up.
The bandages made it more real, he gauze that circled half his head, the IVs in both arms, the oxygen line.
You adjusted the chart at the foot of his bed, but there was a whisper of movement behind you that distracted you.
The man that stepped in wasn’t that tall, with tousled hair and hoodie slung half-off his shoulder. There was dried blood on his jeans.
“Are you the nurse assigned to Heeseung?”
You nodded. “Just got here, are you family? Visiting hours are over.”
“I’m the— uh, manager. My name’s Sim Jake.” He extended his hand, but it trembled, so he dropped it. “Sorry, I— fuck, I can’t think. Is he stable?”
You nodded slowly. “He made it through all the check ups without surgery. He’s sedated, but stable. We’ll have to monitor him for the next 24 hours very closely, especially with the head injury.”
Jake exhaled so hard his shoulders dropped. “And Riki?” he asked quietly.
“From what I heard, he’s still in surgery.”
He pressed his palms together, his eyes were red-rimmed, like he’d been crying or lacked sleeping “They said it was gonna be a regular night, y’know? pre-race laps. Heeseung didn’t even wanna go.”
You stayed quiet. You’d seen people talk to cope, and you learned how to let them.
Jake stared at the bed, at Heeseung’s unconscious body, and then sat down heavily in the corner chair.
“There was a malfunction,” he said slowly. “In Riki’s brakes, his car didn’t slow down on the fourth turn. It’s a corner he usually takes at normal speed, but he went full throttle tonight, he really wanted to impress everyone.” he swallowed, “he didn’t know. Couldn’t have, there was no control. He was headed straight for the barricade, and spectators were there… families with kids.”
You frowned slightly, brows pulling.
“Heeseung… he saw it. He was in front Riki but he saw what was about to happen, he heard it from the communications radio,” he sighed “so he— he pulled out of line, he s werved into his path.”
Jake’s voice cracked. “He used his own car to stop Riki’s, took the hit full-on, it exploded on fire on impact.”
Your throat felt tight. You glanced at Heeseung again, this time a little different.
“He sacrificed himself,” Jake said, hands fisting in his lap. “To stop Riki from plowing into the stands.”
You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know how anyone could choose that kind of pain on purpose.
“He’s gonna live, right?” Jake asked, suddenly boyish. Less like a manager and more like a friend.
You nodded slowly, gaze still on the man lying in the bed. “We’ll do everything we can.”
🏁.
He slipped in and out of consciousness through the long stretch of the night, a haze of morphine clouding over his expression every time he stirred.
Most of it was just moaning, incoherent words under his breath, sometimes Riki’s name.
other times it was just soft whimpers, sharp exhales that caught against his bandaged ribs.
Once, around 3:40 AM, he jolted awake with a short cry and tried to move. His hands jerked upward instinctively, maybe to protect himself… maybe reaching for a steering wheel.
You had to catch his wrist gently and murmur softly until he settled again. “It’s okay,” you whispered, thumb brushing over his knuckles. “You’re safe, you’re not in the car anymore.”
His eyes fluttered beneath bruised lids, and for a second, he stared right through you.
His lips parted, dry and cracked. You held a straw to them and helped him sip water, watched him wince even from that tiny effort, and then he was gone again.
Back into the warmth of sedation, head rolling softly to one side. Morphine dripped slow into his IV. You monitored the levels and checked the rate. You replaced the saline bag when it was almost empty and you didn’t leave the room even when your shift technically ended.
By morning, you were back at your post before the sun had even fully risen.
You weren’t due for another hour, but you couldn't stay home knowing he might wake again confused, aching and… alone.
But when you entered the room, he was already awake. Well, barely, but it was something.
The soft hum of the monitor greeted you first. His vitals were holding steady, but the real sign was the way his eyes, still a bit unfocused, and a little raw, tracked you as you stepped in.
You set your clipboard down quietly and met his gaze. “Hey,” you said softly.
He blinked slowly, then frowned. “Fuck,” he rasped, “I’m not dead?”
His voice was hoarse, painful to hear, but you managed a small smile. “Not yet, sorry.”
A weak huff pushed from his chest, maybe a laugh, or maybe a cough, you couldn’t tell. He shifted, then immediately grimaced, body locking stiff.
“It’ll hurt,” you warned, reaching out to adjust his pillow. “Your ribs are still healing.”
“No shit,” he groaned, swallowing hard. “Why… why can’t I feel my neck? and my chest and arms feel—“ another cough “numb.”
You hesitate, then walked to the bedside. His eyes were clearer now, but clouded with the edge of something worse than fear. The dread of what he didn’t know yet.
“You have third-degree burns on your neck and parts of your chest and arms. The reason you can’t feel them is… because the nerves are gone.” You tried to explain it as easily as possible.
His eyes flicked downward toward his shoulder, then to the heavy gauze wrapping his forearm. He didn’t move, just stared. “Am I—” His voice caught. “How bad does it look?”
You exhaled. “Bad,” you said honestly. “But they did a clean graft. You’ll get function back, most likely. The nerve endings yes… maybe not sensation in some areas. But it’s early, the burn team will know more after the swelling goes down.”
He closed his eyes for a second, jaw clenching.
Silence stretched. Then, his throat worked, voice more broken than before. “Riki?”
You nodded slowly, folding your arms. “He’s alive, though still unconscious. He had internal bleeding, and a compound fracture in his left leg. He’s in post-op recovery now, but he’s stable.”
His entire face tightened, like the weight of it had finally dropped onto his chest. His fingers clenched weakly around the edge of the sheet, and he looked away, toward the window where the morning light was just beginning to creep in through the blinds.
“Good,” he said quietly. “Good. He— he’s just a kid.”
You sat down in the chair beside him, scribbled a note on the chart, and glanced over.
“He’s lucky,” you said softly. “that you were there.”
He didn’t answer.
You knew Jake was still outside. He’d arrived early again, eyes red, pacing the hallway like a ghost. You’d seen him hovering through the glass window earlier, glancing in, debating whether or not to come in.
Now, as Heeseung winced and shifted slightly, you knew he wouldn’t want to deal with him yet.
“You’ve got someone outside,” you said after a pause. “Jake, right? Your manager.”
Heeseung closed his eyes.
“I don’t have the energy for him right now,” he muttered. “He’s just gonna yell.”
“Then he can wait.” you stood, heading toward the door. “You need rest, not a lecture.”
You stepped out quietly and met Jake’s eyes. He stood up instantly. “Is he awake? Can I—?”
“He’s not in the mood to talk,” you said, keeping your voice low but firm. “He’s in pain, and he’s processing. Maybe come back tomorrow?”
Jake’s face fell, but he nodded, rubbing his hand over his mouth, murmured something that resembled a ‘thank you’ before stepping away.
When you returned to the room, Heeseung was still awake, eyes half-closed, the tension in his shoulders loosened by a fraction. “You want me to turn the lights down a bit?”
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “My eyes hurt.”
You moved to the wall, dimmed them until the room was cast in soft amber.
And when you returned to your seat, he glanced over, lips cracked, voice barely above a whisper. “…What’s your name?”
“Y/N.” you replied “I’ll be your nurse for the time you stay here.”
He blinked. “You’re the one who was here last night.”
“Yeah,” you said softly. “You tried to punch me when I held your hand.”
His brows creased. “Did I?”
“You missed.” You shrugged and a ghost of a smile touched his mouth, the first one real enough to settle.
🏁.
When you pushed the door open after your lunch break, it was with the quiet intent of checking Heeseung’s vitals, maybe adjusting his IV line again.
You expected him to still be in pain, perhaps trying to sleep it off. You did not expect what you found.
Three nurses, all hovering around his bed like moths to a dying flame.
One was adjusting his blanket even though it was already neatly draped, another was holding a spoon of soup like it was some kind of sacred ritual, and the last one— oh, she was massaging lotion onto the one patch of unburned skin on his hand with a focus that was frankly excessive.
Heeseung looked… tired. Not just physically, but emotionally drained, like he wasn’t sure what to do with the attention.
His eyes met yours almost instantly as you stepped in, and something like relief washed over his features.
You didn’t smile. “Out,” you just said, sharp but calm.
All three of them froze, as if you’d pulled the fire alarm. One nurse looked like she might argue, but you raised your brow just slightly, and she faltered.
“But we were just—”
“I’m sure you were,” you cut her off smoothly. “He’s under recovery care, not an autograph booth.”
The room grew ten degrees colder.
They scurried out with muttered apologies, not meeting your gaze. One of them left behind the bowl of half-stirred soup and a chocolate pudding cup on the tray.
Heeseung watched you settle the tray on the adjustable table and pull it close to him.
“So,” you said, lifting the spoon from the bowl, “how many fangirls have snuck in while I was gone?”
He grimaced slightly. “Only them, I tjink… one kept calling me ‘hero.’ I tried to play dead but they didn’t leave.”
You smirked faintly, scooping up a small portion of the lukewarm soup “Didn’t your mom ever teach you not to fake injuries for attention?”
He gave a weak chuckle. “Pretty sure I didn’t have to fake anything.”
You lifted the spoon to his lips, watching as he took the soup carefully, his lips parting just slightly, eyes grimacing a little at the taste. His neck muscles twitched, probably from strain, and he exhaled hard after swallowing.
“Jesus,” he muttered. “Is that soup or dishwater?”
“Hospital cuisine,” you said solemnly. “Five-star micheline.”
He took another spoonful, slowly, wincing just from the movement of his jaw.
He still looked rough, his color wasn’t good, skin pale and slightly ashy from the burn meds. His arms were stiff at his sides, bandaged still, and you could tell the hunger was there, but the effort… not so much.
You opened the pudding cup next, gave it a little stir with the plastic spoon. He looked at it like it was the most edible thing he’d seen in weeks.
“Oh thank god,” he said. “I’ve never been so excited for fake chocolate in my life.”
“Open up,” you said, and he did, the sweetness seeming to go down easier than the soup. He sighed, eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
“I thought I’d feel better today,” he murmured. “But I still feel like shit.”
“You’re not even forty-eight hours post the accident yet,” you reminded him. “Your body’s still trying to decide if it wants to forgive you.”
He shifted then, just a little, then a little more. “Careful—”
“I wanna sit up more,” he mumbled, already pressing one arm against the bed, trying to push himself.
You leaned in, firm but calm. “Heeseung, stop.”
“I can’t just lie here—”
“You literally must.”
His eyes flashed with stubbornness, but then he grimaced hard, pain tightening his mouth.
You reached out instinctively, palm flat on his shoulder, not the burned one, holding him still.
“Don’t be stupid,” you said quietly. “Your ribs are still cracked, you won’t win against gravity.”
His jaw clenched. “I hate this.”
“I know.”
He looked away, toward the window. The light outside was gentler now, filtered through the clouds.
His face was drawn, and you could see it in the way he held himself, he wasn’t just sore, he was frustrated
The kind of man who didn’t like stillness. Who probably measured his self-worth by his speed.
“You’re scheduled to remove some of the smoke still in your lungs,” you told him, “It will not be pleasant.”
“Great,” he said sarcastically, “On a scale from one to ten?”
You thought about if for a minute, “I’ve never done it, but I will not lie that I think it will be a solid eight.”
You adjusted the pillow behind his back carefully, angling the bed up a little more for him. He didn’t resist this time, just watched your hands.
“You’re not useless just because you’re healing,” you said, mentioning the previous conversation. “You saved someone. That’s not something your body gets over in a day.”
Heeseung was quiet for a long moment, the sound of the heart monitoring a steady pulse beside you.
“…he’s still not awake, right?” he asked softly.
You nodded. “Still out, but stable.”
He didn’t respond to that. Just stared out at the window again, jaw working.
You finished cleaning up the tray, wiping the corner of his mouth where a little pudding had smeared.
Your fingers brushed along his chin lightly, and for a second, his eyes dropped to your hand.
When you pulled back, he exhaled slowly.
“Thanks,” he said, voice lower now.
You didn’t smile, but your voice was soft. “Stop trying to get up, and I’ll bring you something that actually tastes like food tomorrow.”
He tilted his head slightly, as if considering, then gave a small nod.
“No fangirls,” you added, pointing an accusing finger towards him.
He smiled, just barely. “Only you then?”
You rolled your eyes and stood.
“Don’t push it.”
🏁.
Days blurred together like a long breath you couldn’t quite finish taking.
Outside, the world carried on, traffic, sunrises, clouds rolling over the hospital’s concrete edges, but inside that room, things moved slower.
Jake came every day now, just after lunch, always bringing a different set of sports magazines or articles printed off from the web.
Heeseung barely read them, but he listened when Jake talked about regular things, probably as not to overwhelm him with the fact that races continued wven as he laid on a hospital bed.
A video someone posted of Riki doing stupid tricks in a go-kart. They didn’t say much about the boy himself, not with him still in the ICU, but you could feel the tension crackle in Jake every time he left, like walking out of that room meant abandoning someone else who couldn’t speak for himself yet.
You didn’t press him, and yoou didn’t ask questions.
You were too busy with your own routine.
You came into Heeseung’s room just before the evening shift change.
The light outside had gone pale blue, casting long shadows across the tile floor.
You rolled in a small cart with the supplies, like bandages, ointments, saline and gauze. He was already sitting up a little, watching you.
His face still bore the bruises of the accident, but the swelling had gone down, and his eyes tracked your every movement now, sharp and clear.
“You get a new uniform?” he asked, voice less raspy than before but still colored with something teasing.
You raised an eyebrow. “It’s the same one you bled on two days ago. We just wash them sometimes.”
“Hot,” he murmured, then hissed softly as he tried to adjust his shoulder.
“Don't be cute,” you muttered. “It’s wound cleaning day.”
You started with his head. The bandage there had to be changed slowly, carefully, because the skin underneath was still raw and sensitive.
You gloved up, peeled back the old gauze from his temple, then gently dabbed at the edges of the injury with a saline-soaked pad.
He winced, but didn’t complain. Not like he had the first time. “You’re quieter than usual,” he said.
“You want me to make small talk while I pull the rest of your scabbed flesh off?” You raised a brow at him. He let out a breathy laugh and closed his eyes. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind the distraction.”
You wrapped the fresh bandage around his head, secure but loose enough not to give him a headache.
Then you moved to his chest. He shifted again, the sheets falling to his lap as you pulled the gown down and exposed the burns that still ran like brutal red streaks from just below his collarbone down to the edge of his ribs, spreading across his right shoulder and part of his upper arm. Some had darkened and some peeled.
But all of it looked painful.
You dipped a gloved finger into the ointment and began carefully applying it over the healing areas.
You didn’t flinch at the way the flesh had hardened in some parts, blistered in others. You’d seen worse.
“You okay?” you asked softly.
“Yeah,” he said through his teeth. “Feels like acid.”
“It’s just medicine.”
“I know, but I like being dramatic.”
You gave a short laugh, smoothing the ointment into the side of his neck, then placed new gauze over it, pressing down gently to secure it.
“I don’t know how you do this every day,” he said after a while “I mean, taking care of people like this…. like me. It can’t be the easiest job.”
You shrugged, taping down the last piece. “I’ve had harder patients.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. There was this guy once who thought flirting through third-degree burns was charming.” you teased.
He chuckled, and you moved to his arms next, slowly peeling back the old dressings.
His skin twitched under the fresh air, his fingers curling instinctively. You worked in silence for a while, glancing up only when you noticed him watching you.
“What?” you asked.
He tilted his head a little. “Nothing, you just never talk about yourself.”
You finished smoothing a patch of ointment along his bicep before answering. “There’s not much to say.”
“Bullshit. You’re in here every day, making sure I don’t die of infection or morphine withdrawal. You clean me, feed me, fight off the occasional fangirl. You’ve gotta have more going on than this.”
You paused. Then looked up at him… you didn’t really have an entertaining life outside the hospital, so you opted for something safe. “I’m also assigned to another patient.”
He blinked. “Yeah?”
You nodded, wrapping his arm now. “A kid about nine years old. He came in with a collapsed lung.”
Heeseung stilled slightly. “Accident?”
“No.” you gulped. “His father beat the shit out of him.”
Something in his face twisted then, slow and ugly. You continued softly. “He’s doing better now. Still needs the oxygen support, but he’s laughing again. Oh, and he loves dinosaurs.”
Heeseung’s voice was low. “Do people like that guy, his father, just get to walk around free?”
“It’s… complicated.” You said, your hands working focused. “He’s on the loose, police are searching for him.”
“Fuck.” He exhaled sharply, then looked away. “I thought I had it bad.”
You finished dressing the last of his wounds, peeling off your gloves with a soft snap and tossing them into the bin.
“You did,” you said quietly. “Pain doesn’t need to compete.”
He looked at you again then, for a long time. You weren’t sure what was in his eyes exactly. Respect, maybe sadness. Something softer, too.
“Thanks,” he said.
You gave him a faint smile, then reached for the blanket again, pulling it over his legs gently. “Don’t move too much tonight.”
“No promises.” Heeseung shrugged.
“I’ll sedate you if I have to.” you threatened.
He smirked. “Wouldn’t be the worst thing you’ve done to me.”
You rolled your eyes, gathered your supplies, and started toward the door. Before you stepped out, you glanced back.
He was still looking at you. Not like a patient looking at a nurse.
Like a man trying to understand someone he suddenly realized he didn’t know at all.
🏁.
Riki woke up the following week.
The update came in quietly, just after sunrise, passed from the ICU nurse on duty to your floor with that same hushed relief you’d felt pressing at the back of your ribs since the accident.
He was conscious, but weak. He was. fading in and out of sleep, but breathing on his own, and whispering broken sentences when someone leaned in close enough to hear.
You didn’t rush to tell Heeseung.
You waited until you finished your morning rounds, changed his bandages, fed him half of his usual breakfast. He didn’t complain today. Not once, and that alone told you his mind was elsewhere.
It wasn’t until you were refilling his IV fluids that you finally told him.
“Riki’s awake,” you said simply, not looking up as you slid the fresh saline bag onto the pole.
The stillness in the room shifted sharply.
Heeseung’s voice was instant, a little breathless. “When?”
“This morning.” You turned to him. “He’s in the trauma unit now. They transferred him just after stabilizing.”
He didn’t say anything for a second. His hands flexed slightly at his sides. “Can I see him?”
You hesitated. “You’re not exactly in any shape to—”
“I can sit,” he cut in quickly. “If I sit in a wheelchair, I can do it. I swear I won’t move. Just— five minutes. Please.”.
He was still so pale. The bruising around his eye had darkened into a dull ochre. The bandages on his neck peeked out from under his gown. His arm was trembling just from lifting the glass of water earlier.
He wasn’t ready. But you also knew he’d never feel ready, and something told you he wouldn’t rest until he saw Riki for himself.
You sighed, pulling your gloves off. “Alright, but you don’t lift a finger. You move wrong and I’ll have you sedated for real this time.”
He smiled weakly. “God, that’s hot.”
You shot him a flat look. “Try me.”
You brought the chair around slowly. He watched every motion as you locked the brakes, looped the IV pole onto the hooks, and adjusted the footrest to keep his legs steady. Then came the hard part.
“Okay,” you said gently, moving to his side. “You’re gonna need to lean forward on three. I’ll brace your back. Use your left arm if you can. The right’s still healing.”
He nodded once, already concentrating “One… two.. three.”
He grunted as he moved, your arm slipping under his to guide his weight forward. It took everything in him not to scream, you could tell.
His ribs were like cracked glass, one wrong shift and he’d shatter. But he bit it back, his jaw clenched, and let you ease him into the wheelchair slowly.
Once he was seated, you adjusted his gown to keep the bandages covered, re-checked the IV tube to make sure it wasn’t pulled, and only when everything was steady did you release a breath.
“You good?” you asked.
He nodded slowly. “Yeah.. fuck. I feel like a grandpa.”
The trauma unit wasn’t far, but you still took it slow. Every bump in the linoleum seemed to jolt through his bones.
You moved carefully, guiding the chair down the hallway, keeping your hand on the bar, and checking on him every few seconds. He didn’t talk, he just stared straight ahead.
When you reached Riki’s room, you paused at the door. “You sure?” you asked.
Heeseung nodded quietly and so you opened the door slowly.
The lights were dimmed inside, soft beeping of monitors the only sound.
Riki was lying still, propped slightly against the incline of the bed. His skin was a mess of bruises, purple and green splotches painting across his arms and cheek. A heavy cast swallowed most of his left leg, raised and elevated on a cushion.
There were faint stitches near his collarbone, and you saw the tremble of his chest with every breath.
But his eyes were open and conscious, staring at the white ceiling.
When he saw Heeseung, something in his expression cracked. His mouth moved first, like he wasn’t sure what to say. “Heeseung…”
Heeseung tried to lean forward but flinched instantly. You stepped in and pressed lightly on his shoulder.
“Careful,” you murmured.
“I thought you were dead,” Riki said, voice hoarse and small.
Heeseung swallowed, eyes shining faintly. “So did I.”
Riki blinked rapidly. “They said you— why the fuck did you stop in front of me like that? That’s not…” He trailed off, voice thick. “That’s not how this is supposed to go.”
Heeseung stared at him for a long moment. “You were headed for the barricade.”
“You should’ve just let me crash.” Riki snapped.
Heeseung’s voice was low, steady. “No, i really shouldn’t have.”
The silence between them settled like a weight. You didn’t speak, nor did you move. You saw how Heeseung’s hands gripped the armrests, how Riki tried to blink away the water in his eyes.
“You look like shit,” Riki finally said, a faint smile twitching at his lips.
Heeseung gave a tired breath of a laugh. “Yeah. So do you.”
You looked between the two of them. “I’ll give you a few minutes… just don’t make him laugh too hard. His ribs won’t survive it.”
🏁.
Two more weeks passed, and the days started blending again, though in a different rhythm now.
Rehab was slower, less frantic than the ER, but harder in other ways.
You watched Heeseung try to curl his fingers around a towel for ten full minutes one morning, sweat beading along his brow while the physical therapist kept encouraging him softly, and he just clenched his jaw and tried again and again, even when the pain clawed up from his shoulder into his teeth.
The nerves in his right arm were slow to wake. Some hadn’t at all.
But he worked through it, every day. There were setbacks and ghost pains and frustration.
A dozen nights when he asked you to help him sleep with medications because the sensation of nothing in his arm felt worse than agony.
You tried your best to support him, to give him the strength he was missing.
He could get a game of cards with you each time he managed to complete an exercise, and though he struggled to hold the cards in hands, he looked forward to it.
He always did, but one day you didn’t arrive at the time you usually did.
You always checked in after the rehab sessions. Always adjusted the pillows, changed his IV port, sometimes brought him sickeningly sweet tea even though it wasn’t officially allowed.
That afternoon, he returned from physical therapy looking exhausted and stiff, arm strapped carefully in the sling again.
You would be waiting for him, and even if he felt tired, he was excited to tell you about his progress.
But when he got in there were no cards and no you.
He was half-dozing when the door finally opened, with but the footsteps weren’t yours. The nurse on duty came in to check his meds, and as she adjusted his meds she told him you were coming but were just running late.
She went away, and when the door opened again some time later, it was you.
You came in fast, too fast and your steps uneven. Your scrubs were wrinkled, your hair pulled back hastily.
You didn’t even glance at him, just went straight to the counter and dropped your bag like your hands didn’t know what to do with anything.
“Hey,” he said, quietly.
“Hey.” You replied hurriedly.
He tried to push himself up further in bed, and that simple movement sent a spasm through his ribs. He hissed but kept watching you.
Your hands were shaking as you reached for the gloves. You put them on hastily and put some morphine drops in his IV line.
Or tried to, because the needle kept missing. You tried again and again.
“Hey.” He murmured, brows furrowing. “Are you okay?”
“Of course,” you gulped, voice shaky, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
But he didn’t buy your lie, so he said more firmly, “Y/N.”
You stopped moving and dropped your hands on the medicine counter. “I lost him.”
The words came out too sharp and too sudden. You hadn’t meant to say them like that. You hadn’t even known what you meant to say until they tore out of your mouth.
He blinked slowly. trying to piece the words together. “The kid?”
You turned slowly toward him, your eyes wide and glassy, and you laughed, a short and broken sound. It caught in your throat. You clutched the edge of the t counter like it could hold you up.
“I— I did everything. Everything I was supposed to. He was smiling yesterday… and… and he even asked me to draw dinosaurs on his oxygen mask. I told him I would after he ate his dinner.”
He didn’t speak, he let you rant, because he knew you needed not to be strong for once. You needed a shoulder to cry on.
You stepped forward, then dropped to your knees before you even realized it. The medical equipment fell from your hands.
“He started coughing and he didn’t stop,” you whispered, voice already breaking. “His lung… it filled with blood. He couldn’t breathe and we couldn’t intubate fast enough. He choked in front of us. In front of me.”
Your hands pressed to your face. “I tried… I tried so fucking hard—”
Your sobs ripped out of you, loud and uncontained, ugly sobs that rocked your body. Heeseung reached out before his body could protest. “Come here.”
“No,” you gasped. “I can’t— I’m not supposed to—”
“Come here.” He repeated firmly.
You crawled toward the bed on your knees, hands shaking too much to reach for anything.
He managed to lower his good arm toward you, fingers trembling as they brushed against your shoulder.
You pressed your face to the side of the bed, arms folded awkwardly under you, and sobbed into the blanket.
He winced, but he kept his hand there on your back. His thumb moved in slow, unsteady circles, his voice hoarse as he whispered, “You did everything you could.”
“I didn’t save him.” You snapped.
“Sometimes… sometimes you can’t.” He tried to reason. “I promised I’d come see him tomorrow.” You whispered brokenly.
Heeseung’s breath hitched, and he closed his eyes like he could carry the weight of that grief for you.
“I keep seeing his face,” you whispered. “He looked so scared.”
“I know that feeling,” he murmured. “I know, I see the fire every night.”
Your fingers curled into the blanket. He moved his hand and brushed your hair back behind your ear. The gentlest touch he could manage.
“You made him forget the horrors he went through,” he said softly. “You were there. That matters more than anything.”
You couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t even pretend to be the composed nurse anymore.
You weren’t her right now. You were just you, kneeling on the floor beside a patient who had become more than just a chart.
You stayed there, head buried into the side of the bed, tears soaking through the sheet, while Heeseung lay still, chest tight, body too raw to offer more than the steady, quiet presence you’d once given him.
Eventually, your sobs softened, worn out. Like the grief had burned through you fast and left only ash behind.
He spoke again, voice slow. “You can sit up here, if you want.”
You shook your head. “I don’t want you to move.” Even in your pain, uou cared more for him.
“I won’t.” He shifted his hand slightly, inviting. “Just stay beside me..”
So you did, because you weren’t really in the right state of mind to list all the reasons why you shouldn’t.
You climbed onto the edge of the bed slowly, not to disturb the tubes or bandages, and leaned gently against the side of his body. His good arm curled around your back.
Just for a moment you let yourself be held.
🏁.
It was quiet between you for a long while. His hand was warm where it rested on your back, too warm for someone who’d spent the last few weeks surrounded by machines and medications and cold gauze.
You were still curled into the side of the bed, your cheek resting just beside the edge of his chest, body limp from the sobbing.
“Hey.” He finally spoke.
You shifted, barely lifting your head. “Mh?.”
He angled his neck enough to glance down at you. “Wheel me downstairs.”
You blinked slowly. “Downstairs where?”
“The cafeteria.”
You pulled back just enough to look at him properly. His face was worn, but his expression was serious.
You stared hard. “You’re not allowed down there yet.”
He shrugged with one shoulder. “Neither was I allowed to have Jake’s candy bars, but I’ve had three Twix and two mini bags of Doritos this week, and I haven’t died.”
Your brows lifted. “You’ve been cheating on your meal plan?” He gave a faint smirk. “Religiously.”
“You sighed, pressing your fingers to your eyes. The last thing you wanted to do right now was escort a stubborn F1 driver out of his room for snacks like he hadn’t nearly burned alive three weeks ago.
But the truth was, your chest still hurt. The grief still sat in your bones, but it was quieter now, and something in his voice had shifted.
“Fine,” you muttered, standing. “But you’re wearing your sling, and your hospital bracelet stays visible. If anyone asks, you’re on a medically supervised movement.”
“Lord,” he murmured. “You make rule-breaking sound so sexy.”
You rolled your eyes, but the ache in your chest had already started to soften.
You helped him into the chair again, slower this time, letting him lean into you more than usual.
His body was getting stronger, but not by much, and even the act of standing made him wince. You adjusted his IV pole and tucked the light blue blanket across his lap before wheeling him carefully out into the corridor.
The hallway was mostly quiet as night shift had already begun. The elevators pinged with soft dings while you descended.
“Did you bring me down here to flirt with the volunteers again?” you asked as the doors opened on the ground floor.
“No,” he said. “They don’t make eye contact anymore. I think you scared them off.”
You snorted. “Good.”
The café was dimly lit, the kind that looked like it was trying very hard to pretend it wasn’t inside a hospital.
You wheeled him to a table tucked in the corner, far from the noise of people or the murmur of the vending machines.
You walked up to the bar and ordered what he’d asked for, a hot chocolate with no whipped cream, and a bottle of water. The cashier rang it up, and just as you reached for your hospital-issued card, a hand beat you to it.
Heeseung had wheeled towards you, alone, and handed over a credit card without a word.
You looked at him sharply. “What the fuck are you—”
“I wanted to.” Ahe said quickly, “And I used the good arm.” He waved it for good measure.
You narrowed your eyes. “I’m on shift. I can’t let patients pay for—”
“I’m a grown man in a wheelchair, who needs your help standing while peeing, I think you deserve this.”
You stared at him for a second longer, but he didn’t waver. So you let it go, you took the tray with the drinks, careful not to spill the hot chocolate, and returned to the table.
When you set it down in front of him, he reached out for the bottle of water. He pushed the hot chocolate toward you.
You blinked, then frowned in confusion. “This is yours.”
“I ordered it for you.” He explained as if it was the most obvious thing.
Your hands hovered for a second. “You asked for it.”
“And then I gave it away.” He met your eyes, gaze soft but unwavering. “You’ve had a shit day, well, week. I figured chocolate was a safer bet than tequila.”
You slowly sat down, wrapping your hands around the warm cup. It steamed against your skin, thick and sweet-smelling.
“You still shouldn’t be paying for me,” you muttered.
“I crashed a million-dollar car. You think I’m worried about six bucks?”
You shook your head, trying to hide the way your lip tugged up just slightly.
He leaned back a little in the chair, the bottle of water resting between his thighs. “You’re allowed to sit here,” he said, voice quiet. “Not just as my nurse but just as you.”
You stared down at the cup. “I don’t think I know how to be just me anymore.”
“You do,” he said softly. “You just haven’t had time to remember.”
You took a slow sip and the warmth bled into your chest. “I think I hate hospitals,” you whispered.
He tilted his head, watching you carefully. “So do I.”
You wheeled him back before the nurse on dinner rounds made it to his floor.
Heeseung didn’t say much on the way up, he just kept his eyes ahead, arm still nestled in the sling, the blanket pooling loosely around his waist.
You stopped the wheelchair in front of his room, and opened the door wide enough for the chair to slip in.
He shifted a little as you rolled him in, wincing when the chair hit a bump in the threshold. “Careful,” he murmured.
“Sorry,” you replied quickly, helping him ease into a comfortable position beside his bed before turning off the wheelchair brakes.
You were efficient again, going through motions you’d done a hundred times, but your fingers still trembled slightly when they brushed his wrist, adjusting the IV.
“Thanks,” he said quietly. “For taking care of me.”
You turned toward him. “It’s literally my job
“It’s more than that,” he said. “You didn’t have to sit with me. You didn’t have to cry where I could see you.”
You swallowed, eyes briefly dropping to his blanket. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m not very professional.”
“You’re too pretty to cry,” he said simply.
You rolled your eyes, stepping toward the cabinet to grab a clean set of saline wipes, trying to cover how your heart stuttered at the way he’d said it— like a fact, not a compliment.
“Don’t start,” you warned. “I’m not starting,” he said. “I’m just saying.”
You turned back to him, arms crossed, and leaned against the cabinet. “Alright, fine. How are you feeling? Really.”
He blinked at you, then tilted his head slightly, making a face. “Sore.”
“Where?” You asked.
He shifted, jaw tightening as he angled his neck. “My neck mostly. Probably the burn. It feels like it’s pulling when I sleep.”
“That’s because you keep turning your head instead of using the pillow support,” you said, walking toward him again.
You reached gently toward his collarbone, pulling back the loose hospital shirt to peek at the gauze that covered the worst of the scarring.
“You should kiss it better,” he said then, voice suddenly low.
You stopped, frozen in place. Your hand froze an inch from his skin, and his eyes flicked to your face, watching you for a reaction, but not pushing.
His lips tugged up, a faint, boyish grin pulling the corner of his mouth.
You stared at him, chest tight, then sighed through your nose and leaned in, fast, before you could think better of it, and pressed a quick kiss to the edge of his cheekbone.
Just enough to feel the warmth of his skin under your lips, to let the tension between you shift into something that made your stomach twist.
His smile widened, the surprise obvious on his face.
“Hey,” he whispered, gaze following you as you straightened and stepped back. “That was nice.”
“Don’t let it get to your head.” You said, holding a threatening finger to his face.
He laughed, low and hoarse. “Too late.”
You grabbed your clipboard, pretending to check his chart so you wouldn’t have to look at him while your face still felt warm.
“I should go,” you muttered, already walking toward the door. “Dinner shift’s starting on the east wing.”
“Wait—”
But you were already pulling the door open, glancing back at him just long enough to catch the way he looked at you now.
You didn’t say anything else. You just stepped out, your heart pounding loud enough you were sure he could hear it, and let the door shut behind you with a soft click.
🏁.
By the third day of your ten-hour shift stretch, you could recognize the tone of the call button chime before the light even blinked above the door.
It was always Lee Heeseung’s, allways at the most inopportune moments— just when you had your gloves snapped on to help with someone else’s chart, or when you were halfway through prepping a new IV bag.
And by now, you didn’t even need to guess what he’d say.
“My pillow fell again.”
“My water’s too warm.”
“I finished the tissue box. I sneezed once and now it’s gone.”
“I think my skin feels itchy, but like, only a little. Is that bad?”
“Do you know where the remote is?”
Six times that day, and it wasn’t even five p.m.
So this time, you walked in before the chime finished echoing down the hall, your hands on your hips, the door swinging shut behind you with a firm thud.
“Okay,” you said, standing just inside the threshold, your brows raised. “I know you’re bored, and I know hospital life isn’t exactly thrilling, but unless you’ve developed a new infection or spontaneously combusted again, I really don’t want to hear another call button chime from this room today.”
Heeseung looked up from the bed, blinking at you with the most unapologetically fake innocent expression you’d ever seen.
“You don’t have to scold me like that,” he said, lifting a hand with mock pain. “It hurts my feelings.”
“It hurts my back,” you snapped, “to walk this hallway six times because you suddenly forgot where your mouth is after wiping it.”
He cracked a smile then, slow and crooked. “That one wasn’t urgent, I just missed you.”
You blinked at him, deadpan.
“I’m serious,” he added quickly. “I’m not trying to be annoying. I mean, I am. But not… only.”
You slowly stepped closer to the bed, your arms crossing over your chest. “Heeseung.”
He lifted both hands in surrender, careful not to stretch his burned arm. “Alright. alright, I’ll stop. I’ll be good.”
You narrowed your eyes. You knew he felt alone, F1 season continued, Jake had meetings with his whole department since both his drivers were out and he was afraid he’d be replaced.
You knew, but it didn’t mean he had to drive you insane too. No pun intended.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, softer this time. “I know I’m being a pain in the ass, that you’re tired, and I know it’s not fair to ask for attention when there are patients who actually need you.”
That startled you a little. His voice was sincere now, not playful.
The kind of honest that didn’t come easy to men like him, the men used to winning races and smiling through sponsors’ press conferences and interviews. But he looked small now, even as he sat upright in the bed, chest tight in the bandages you changed every morning.
“I’m just—” he exhaled, his fingers twitching over the blanket. “I’m scared to leave. That’s the truth.”
You frowned, stepping to his bedside without thinking. “Why would you be scared of leaving a hospital?”
“Because I look like this.” He motioned vaguely to his body, to the sling, the burn that peeked from beneath the hem of his collar. “Because I haven’t seen a mirror in weeks, and I know I’ve looked better. Because my hair’s gross and I’ve lost weight and I smell like antiseptic, and I’ve been stuck in this bed thinking that I’ll never feel like myself again.”
You opened your mouth, but he wasn’t done. “And because I finally got the courage to want something for myself. And that something is you.”
The words landed hard. You felt your arms drop slightly, hands now loose by your sides, the air between you suddenly tighter than before. You blinked your eyes, unsure if you were seeing or hearing his words right.
Heeseung looked up at you again, slower this time, less sure of himself than you’d ever seen him.
“I know you don’t owe me anything. You’ve been taking care of me because it’s your duty, and I’ve probably pushed boundaries I shouldn’t. But…” He swallowed, breath shallow. “I wanted to tell you now. Before I get discharged, because the second I’m out of here, I’m gonna be back in recovery, back in press cycles, and everyone’s going to ask about the crash and Riki and the damn brakes, and I’m not going to get to just sit with you… or make you laugh, ormake you roll your eyes like that.”
You stared at him, speechless, as if your body had finally shut down.
“I just needed you to know,” he said finally. “When I’m back on my feet and when I look like me again… I’m going to ask you out, properly. If you’ll let me.”
Your heart was pounding, because somewhere deep down, maybe you’d known. Known from the moment he reached for the hot chocolate and slid it across the table. Known from the way he watched you like you were the only anchor he had left.
You didn’t know what to say, not yet. Your mouth felt dry and your chest felt tight, but your feet stepped closer anyway, drawn like a magnet.
You didn’t kiss him this time. You didn’t touch him either. You just looked down at him, eyes skimming his face, the new pink of his healing skin, the glint of defiance still in his expression.
“You still can’t press the call button,” you said quietly.
His smile broke again, wider this time. Like sunlight on rained down pavement.
“Alright,” he whispered. “Then I guess I’ll just have to wait for you.”
🏁.
You didn’t see Heeseung for almost three weeks.
He still came to the hospital, that much you knew, rehabilitation was mandatory, even for someone as stubborn as Ferrari’s golden boy.
He was scheduled twice a week for physical therapy, and he visited Riki when he could, sometimes staying an hour or more in the kid’s room.
But your shifts never overlapped. It was strange, how easily someone could vanish into the same building you worked in, the same halls you’d memorized with your eyes closed.
You didn’t try to ask around. You didn’t dig through records or prod the therapists in the staff lounge.
You didn’t let it show on your face that every time the elevator dinged on your floor, your eyes flicked up before you could stop yourself.
He was healing at home now. Taking care of his own burns, which had scabbed and scarred over with that red-purple finish that made your heart twist the last time you saw them.
You imagined him moving stiffly through some fancy condo, with his water always cold, pillows never out of reach, tissues unused because there was no one around to pass them.
However, you saw Riki often. He was in less pain now, and more alert to his surroundings.
Still sour most days, snappy and restless from staying still for so long, but there was a spark there, something sharp behind his eyes when he talked about rehab. He wanted to walk, he wanted to drive again. Even if it was far off for the time being.
“Heeseung comes in all weird,” Riki muttered one afternoon while you adjusted the IV tubing above his bed. “Like, in baseball caps and hoodies. As if people won’t recognize him if he covers half his face and walks with that stupid gait.”
“Maybe he’s trying not to get mobbed,” you murmured, flicking the drip line with your nail. “He had fans even in the hospital.”
“He just doesn’t want people to look at him,” Riki said, a little quieter. “Not until his skin looks normal.”
You didn’t answer that. You just gave him a sip of water and changed the subject, but it stayed with you.
That night, for the first time, you opened Instagram and typed Ferrari into the search bar.
The page was easy to find. It was verified, with the bold logo, all red and gold and glory.
You scrolled past the highlight reels, the merchandise links, the footage of pit crews moving like insects in reverse. You skimmed captions about sponsors, about prep for the next season, about hopeful outlooks. And then you found his name.
Lee Heeseung, back in training. Slowly regaining strength in his right arm, working with team specialists twice a week. Determined to be ready for next season’s opener.
There was a photo. Blurry, and taken from behind. Heeseung bent forward, sweat soaking through a dark training tee, fingers curled over a steering simulator.
His profile was partly visible, bandage still over the side of his neck, his jaw clenched, dark hair longer than it had been in the hospital.
He looked thin and tired. But he looked alive.
You stared at the photo for longer than you should have. Then, against your better judgment, you hit the follow button.
You didn’t expect it to change anything. You didn’t expect him to see it, even, his feed was full of likes and mentions from fans all over the world, probably flooded every minute.
But something about it made you feel closer. Like you’d walked into a corner of his life no one had given you permission to touch.
Like you were choosing to see him now, not as your patient, not as a body in bandages, but as someone aching to be more than that.
You still didn’t see him in ‘real life’, but you started noticing the gap he left in your day.
The way your shift felt a little quieter without his voice drifting out of his VIP room.
How your eyes scanned the hallway out of habit, expecting his lanky frame to come sauntering around the corner with a sarcastic comment ready. How the call button in his old room remained untouched, almost dusty with disuse.
You didn’t let yourself think about it too much. You had other patients. You had other wounds to clean, other charts to fill.
You had boys younger than Riki who didn’t know what comfort felt like, who cried into your sleeves when no one else was looking.
But late at night, when you walked home in silence, something in you still flickered with that unfinished sentence. With that look in his eyes the last time you left his room.
🏁.
Saturdays weren’t yours to work, but the fire from three nights ago had overflowed the ER.
Nurses had been calling out, supplies were low, and patients kept pouring in with second-degree burns and smoke in their lungs, soot in their hair and soot in their blood.
You hadn’t had lunch. You barely remembered what you’d eaten for breakfast.
Your scrubs were wrinkled, your badge strap sticky with someone’s dried medication, your shoes creaked wet from a mop bucket you stepped in by accident. All you wanted was to go home, shower, and sleep for fourteen uninterrupted hours.
So when you stepped out the side exit, your usual escape route to avoid the busier front doors, and found a sleek, glimmering black car parked right in the middle of the access road, you groaned out loud.
“The hell…” you muttered under your breath, narrowing your eyes.
You looked around first, no security in sight and no staff nearby.
The car was expensive, way too shiny to belong to a low waged doctor, but the way it was angled made your jaw clench.
Right in the path of emergency lanes. If an ambulance pulled in, it would have to slow down, stop before it hit it and possibly lose a life.
You stepped toward the driver’s side window without hesitation, rapping your knuckles against the glass firmly.
You didn’t expect it to roll down that fast. And you definitely didn’t expect him.
Heeseung turned toward you slowly, lips twitching up into the smallest smile, his eyes scanning you like you were a familiar song playing again for the first time in weeks.
He had a hat on, but he pulled it off the second he saw your face. His skin had lost the swollen, raw shine, there were still scars on his jawline and neck, but they were faded now, pinked and healing.
“Hi,” he said quietly.
You just blinked, hands mid-air, paused knock on the window. “What— what are you doing here?” you asked.
“I was waiting for you,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Your shift ended half an hour ago.”
“I stayed behind because the trauma and burning bay was still full.” You explained, brows furrowed.
“Yeah, I heard about the fire.” His brows dipped a little. “I figured you wouldn’t leave on time.”
You glanced at the car again, then back at him “You’re parked in the middle of the road.”
He shrugged, leaning his elbow against the wheel, lazy and composed and so infuriatingly calm. “You always said I was reckless.”
“That’s not— Heeseung, you can’t park here. What if an ambulance came in?” You nagged.
“Then I would’ve moved.” His smile widened slightly. “I saw you coming out. You were holding your bag like it was about to break.”
You looked down at your satchel, at the way it was sagging from your shoulder, the straps barely stitched. You hadn’t realized he was watching.
“You look exhausted,” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you or get in the way. I just… I wanted to talk to you.”
You hesitated, swallowing hard. “You could’ve texted.”
“I don’t have your number.” You paused again, jaw tightening. The handsome fucker was right.
He read the hesitation in your expression because his voice softened when he added, “It’s not anything heavy. I just wanted to see you…. talk. If that’s okay.”
“I should go home,” you said, but your voice didn’t sound as sure as it should have.
“I know,” he replied, tone level. “I’m not trying to trap you. I just… thought maybe you’d want to come for a short drive.”
You opened your mouth to protest again, but he must’ve seen it in your face, that flicker, that tiny weakening you always had with him, because he leaned across the passenger seat and pushed the door open.
The smell of his cologne wafted out faintly, clean and unfamiliar. Not the antiseptic you used to associate with him, but something warmer.
“Fifteen minutes,” he said. “And I’ll drive slow.”
You stood there another heartbeat before sighing heavily and slipping in, dropping your bag between your feet. “You can’t park like that again.” you grumbled, pulling your seatbelt on.
“I won’t,” he said, already shifting the gear. “Unless it gets me your attention.”
The car was too smooth, barely a hum beneath your thighs as he pulled onto the road.
He didn’t take the highway. Instead, he drifted toward the north side of the city, where the buildings thinned and the roads turned narrow and winding.
You didn’t say anything for a while, and the radio was off, creating a not so awkward silence.
The windows cracked just enough for the wind to kiss your temples. Heeseung kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting near the gear shift. His fingers tapped to a rhythm only he heard.
You finally asked, “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” he smirked.
The hill was quiet. Just far enough from town that the lights behind you blurred into a string of distant sparks, like stars upside down.
He pulled up to the edge, beside a lookout you vaguely recognized from photos, some popular spot kids used to park and drink or kiss in late at night.
But now it was just the two of you, and the sun was melting behind the skyline, leaving streaks of orange and dusty violet stretching across the horizon.
He killed the engine as you sat still, unsure. He turned to you. “You’ve been following the Ferrari page.”
You flushed before you could stop it, your eyes darting to the glovebox. “You noticed?”
“You think I wouldn’t?” he asked, tilting his head. “Your username has your badge number and Jake asked me if it was you when he saw the notification. He’s the one who runs the profile.”
You cringed. “I misclicked.”
“I like it that you follow it.” He took a breath, shifting to face you slightly. “I wasn’t lying that day. I know I was half gross with hair oily and calling for tissues every five minutes. But I meant what I said.”
You chewed your bottom lip, hands clasped together on your lap.
“I’ve thought about you every damn day,” he said, voice low. “Every burn I cleaned, every stretch I did to move my arm again… it was all with your voice in my head, lecturing me, cussing under your breath, or humming while you changed my dressings.
He chucked softly, “I’m not trying to romanticize what you did— it was your job, I know that. But you were the only part of that room that didn’t feel like pain.”
Your throat tightened. The silence around you pressed against your chest.
“So,” he said, after a moment. “Now that I’m here, and I don’t look like a half-melted wax figure, I’m going to ask again.”
He leaned in a little, not enough to touch you. Just enough to make the air shiver between your knees.
“Would you go out with me?”
You looked at him, really looked at the scars that would never fully fade, at the honesty stretched across his face. At the way his fingers curled and uncurled on his thigh, nervous.
Not Heeseung-the-racer. Not Heeseung-the-patient. Just the man who held you when you broke down and offered you hot chocolate to cheer you up.
“…You’re still kind of a pain in the ass,” you whispered.
He grinned, soft and warm and so stupidly pretty. “I’m hoping you like that about me.”
You rolled your eyes and looked away. But your voice cracked into something almost smiling as you said, “Okay.”
His inhale was slow, asif he didn’t believe you yet.
“Yeah?” he asked, like he needed to hear it again.
You turned back to him and nodded. “Yeah.”
🏁.
You hadn’t meant for it to happen so naturallyx, but the nights at his place started slipping into your week like a warm spring breeze.
He picked you up after long shifts when you didn’t feel like taking the bus, and you’d slip into his fancy car still in your scrubs, smelling faintly of antiseptic and latex gloves, too tired to talk.
And he never asked you to. He just opened the passenger door, let you rest your head against the window, and drove home in silence, music turned low and hand reaching across the console to hold yours.
His mansion, because there was no way around calling it that, wasn’t what you expected.
You thought it’d be filled with trophies and screaming red logos, but it was just neat and quiet.
His bedroom was painted in soft shades of gray and navy, his kitchen smelled like coffee beans and a hint of vanilla, and the couch was so wide you’d often curl up in the corner with a blanket and not move for hours.
You didn’t have the energy for fancy dates or being out in public. You certainly didn’t want to be photographed, you didn’t ant some journalist writing a two-paragraph caption about how Heeseung’s latest girl was just some tired nurse with eyebags and oversized jackets.
And Heeseung never made you feel small for it. Whatever he chose for his life you didn’t have to force yourself to be a part of.
Most nights were spent curled on the sofa, a Netflix movie you barely registered playing in the background.
You would start the evening upright, knees tucked in, a warm drink in your hands, and end it slouched sideways, your cheek against his shoulder, breath even and shallow as sleep claimed you halfway through the plot.
He’d carry you, sometimes. Tuck you in and kiss your forehead lightly. Other nights, you made it to bed on your own, and he would join you an hour later, warm and silent, pressing himself carefully to your back, still stiff because of his healing skin.
He had noticed your pills early on. The first time, you thought you’d been slick about it, hiding them behind your hand as you opened the bottle near the sink.
But he leaned over and asked, “You okay?”
You nodded, embarrassed, trying to swallow them quickly. “Just for digestion, y’know? My stomach gets weird after long shifts. I don’t always… well, can’t always eat right after I see something.”
His expression softened like you’d pressed a hand over his chest. He didn’t say anything right away, he just took the glass from your hand, poured you another, and passed it back silently.
“You don’t have to explain it,” he said quietly. “I get it.”
You weren’t sure he could get it. He didn’t have to hold broken children or stitch the soft skin of dying women, and he didn’t have to stand still while a monitor flatlined.
But he had burned for someone else. He’d jumped in front of a car going too fast to stop, taken the brunt of it, let himself be crushed and concussed to save a boy who wasn’t ready to die.
So maybe he did understand.
When you came over one Saturday morning, he was more animated than usual.
He was wearing a dark sweater and cargo pants, with hair half-damp from a shower, and his bandage finally gone from his wrist, his body almost healed.
He still couldn’t grip with his right hand properly. He said the nerves were healing slowly, but he’d been trying.
“C’mere,” he grinned, reaching for your bag to drop it by the entrance. “I want to show you something.”
You blinked at him, one eyebrow rising. “Show me what?”
“Just come.” He tugged at your hand and pulled you toward the garage.
You hadn’t really stepped inside the main garage before. The house had two: one for his daily cars, and the other for, well, whatever this was. The second he flipped the lights on, you saw it.
His car. That car.
The one that had been twisted into fire and pain months ago. The one you’d seen on the news, reduced to smoldering steel.
Now it sat before you, with a brand new frame, the same number, and the same paint job, the shine of it almost surreal under the ceiling lights.
“You got it back,” you murmured.
“I got her back, my Scarlet.” he said, voice soft with affection. “It’s not exactly the same frame, and we’ve upgraded a few things. But… yeah. She’s mine again.”
You walked slowly around it, trailing your fingers just barely along the side. “And you’ll drive again.”
“As soon as they let me.”
“And your hand?” He held it up, flexing it in the air. “Still annoying as hell. But I’ve been cooperating with the exercises.”
You smiled, turning to him. “That’s a first.”
He grinned, full of boyish pride. Then he nodded toward the other side of the garage. “There’s someone else I want you to meet officially.”
You followed him without question.
Jake was waiting near the workbench, hands shoved in his pockets, his hair tied back with a cap. He looked better than the last time you’d seen him in a panic outside the hospital room, pacing the hall and begging for updates.
“Jake,” Heeseung said, his voice low but proud, “this is Y/N.”
Jake smiled and extended his hand. “You’re the nurse who yelled at the three others for pampering him with pudding.”
You laughed as you shook it. “They were fangirling and he was still high on morphine. Someone had to keep his ego in check.”
Heeseung groaned behind you. “You’re never going to let that go.”
“Not a chance.”
Jake grinned even wider. “I like her.”
“She’s not just my nurse anymore,” Heeseung said quietly, and when you glanced back at him, he was looking straight at you. “She’s my girl now.”
The words shouldn’t have knocked the air out of your chest the way they did. You weren’t sixteen anymore, you’d had men call you worse and sweeter things in the heat of a moment, but this— this was soft and real.
You didn’t say anything right away. Just smiled, nodded a thank you to Jake, and let Heeseung lead you upstairs again, through the back hallway.
When the door to the garage closed behind you and the silence settled again, you reached for him before he could say anything else.
you pressed your hands to his cheeks gently, careful of the last faint scar that still lingered along the side of his jaw, and kissed him.
He stilled at first, stunned. Then he leaned in, warm and steady, one hand sliding to your hip, the other brushing the back of your neck.
It was the kind of kiss that made time pause. With no rush, no fire behind your teeth. Just slow, deep breaths and the rhythm of his lips against yours, like he’d been waiting too long to ask again.
When you pulled away, you stayed close, your forehead resting against his.
“You are a wonderful person, Lee Heeseung.” You breathed out.
“You make me better.” He murmured.
You smiled, kissed the tip of his nose, and said, “No, that’s all you.”
pretty puppy boy is so down bad for you. the feeling is mutual.
pairing: puppybf!jake x afab!reader
fluff, jake falls in love at first sight, mentions of kisses, smut, oral (fem receiving ), sub!jake and sub!reader yum, mutual masturbation hell yea, they're both brats, messy sex, pussy obsessed puppy jake, not proofread as always
puppy!jake who literally felt time slow when he was first introduced to you. sunghoon side eyed him when he noticed how jake visibly straightened, ears perked, eyes blown wide open. it took about three to four dude's from his friend to make him enter reality again.
puppy!jake who simply just stared at you when you told him about yourself. he drank up every word, replaying the facts in his head, careful to not miss a single details.
puppy!jake who had to force himself to look you into the eye and stop his eyes from darting down to your lips. but how couldn't he? the gloss on your lips reflects so prettily in the sunlight, how can you expect him not to stare at you :c
puppy!jake constantly wanted to be around you when your friend group was hanging out. he didn't necessarily even need to talk to you, he just wanted to sit close. with time he stared hovering, never leaving your orbit, shooting sharp glances at once who looked in you in ways that friends don't.
puppy!jake who had sunghoon give him peptalks to talk to you more :c sweet boy just got so shy and stuttery when he was around you, which was silly since you were the exact same and HE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE !!
puppybf!jake who thought you might be more dominant in the bedroom, judging by your composed nature but he was oh so wrong. to be fair, there have been signs that you didn't have a single dominant bone in your body. the way you nuzzled, basically completely melted into him when you were cuddling, hugging him so tightly as if he were to disappear into thin air any second. the way you practically turned into mush whenever an single ounce of praise left his lips. mans was just too whipped to see it.
puppybf!jake giggles inbetween kisses :((( well it's more like he full on giggles into your mouth because mans refuses to remove his lips from yours but if he DOES then the giggles get even more intense and he gets so giddy and u can barely catch your breath before he's on you again.
puppybf!jake has never been touched by anyone before and gets soooo desperate and whiny when you slowly move your hands up and down his body. the slightest movement towards his dick has him twitching, throaty whines escaping him without pause. and the worst part? the way you look at him, eyes wide with fascination, in disbelief that it's you who gets him like this. like him, you haven't been touched by anyone either and one before you realised what happened his hands were in your panties and yours around his dick :c both of you just staring at each other, jaws slack and breathing heavily.
puppybf!jake always has his hand on you. always. hand holding, intertwined pinkies, hand around your waist, playing with a strand of hair it doesn't matter if he's around you he must touch you or he withers away.
puppybf!jake who loves laying on top of you. his cheek is pressed against yours, eyelashes tickling you when he blinks. out of nowhere, quick kisses attack your cheeks while you watch something on your phone (he sees it as a challenge to get your attention, sweet sweet boy). every now and then he repositions himself, making sure his arms dont't leave you tho dont get it twisted. once he found a new comfy position he flops down again with a sigh, nuzzling into your neck :c
puppybf!jake who humps the mattress while eating you out . he just loves the sounds you make, it makes him absolutely feral. whether that is the sweet moans and gasps leaving your lips or your messy pussy causing obscene sounds to echo from the walls. whenever he goes down on you he always ends up legit making out with your pussy, nose nudging against your clit and he looooves smelling you. doesnt mind when you move around, he just moves after you, lips never leaving your pussy. he's utterly obsessed with you and your pussy, hes on you like a magnet.
puppybf!jake who once nutted before you even touched him properly. in his defence, you were literally licking your way down his v line, it was evil of you. poor pup got so whine and embarrassed afterwards and wanted to tease you back but he couldn't go through with it and just ended up eating you out for two hours straight. that boy has an insane oral fixation lucky you.
puppybf!jake goes brat to brat with you. you both just rile each other up in perfect harmony, knowing exactly what pushes the other over the edge. of course you and up fucking on the ground because neither of you were able to resits the other for a second loner lol
puppybf!jake who almost came instantly when you started babbling incoherently the second he was inside you. " feel so good jakey you make me feel so so good, fuck, please don't stop." he was a goner, brain turned to mush. all he could focus on was the way your face twisted in pleasure, brows furrowed and mouth agape. "so pretty for me, can't believe you're letting me have you im so lucky." the praise bubbled out of him without him even noticing, but what he does notice is the way you clench around him. "jesus," he manages to hiss out, having to lean backwards a little to snap out of his haze. you whine, clawing at his bicep "come back here." all it takes is a roll of your hips and he falls back down on you, teeth digging into the soft flesh of your chest, giving it a slight suck.
puppybf!jake ties his hair up because he wants you to pull on it so badly but he's too shy to tell you and when you do on a whim he gets extra vocal yum.
puppybf!jake does the puppy head tilt at random times, no thoughts behind those eyes, scratch that the only thought on his mind is u, that boy loves u so much and he get's the saddies sometimes when he realises how much he loves you and then he goes extra extreme puppy mode and the head tilt and puppy eyes come out sobs.
puppybf!jake who loves messy sex more than anything. your first time had been sweet and slow, all shy giggles and soft gasps. but now? now we're at the slippery slope olympics. if your cum isn't running down your legs he hasn't eaten you out properly (he also wants his face to be drenched in it, don't get it twisted). there's just no better feeling than pushing his thick cock into the warm deliciousness that is your pussy :c he cannot help but stare down at your mixed fluids, thick strings of cum connecting you. it drives him NUTS.
puppybf!jake loves to pretend he's all tough when the two of you are out. he puffs out his chest a little when he sees others look at you, arm protectively circling even closer around your waist. but the second you look at him with your sweet eyes he gets all giggle because who are we fooling he's such a softie for you.
puppybf!jake who tries so hard to listen to your yapping intently, but after not even a minute he'll randomly blur out a "totally" or "mhm, yea" and then just kisses you mid sentence. he's whipped what can i say.
puppybf!jake is also lowkey a nerd who can't see well so he reaches over to the nightstand one day while he's balls deep inside you because "it wouldn't be fair if i can't see you look so pretty for me." his glasses get all fogged up and he clumsily tries to wipe them clean which ends up getting them dirty so he just carelessly throws them aside. as much as he loves seeing you, hearing and feeling you is enough for now.
puppybf!jake loves skin to skin contact even in a no sexual way. just simply having you flush against him, no layers, it's his absolute favourite thing. he traces little patterns on your skin, admiring your moles, veins, scars and curves. he wants to memorise it all :c
puppybf!jake who promises he entered another realm when you touched his ears while riding him for the first time. your body on top of him was enough stimulating as is, poor boy couldn't stop groping all plush parts of your body but touching his ears?? my boy froze up for a solid 5 seconds. "wait, shit did i do something wrong?? are you okay??" your panicked voice was the only noise heard as jake seemed to have stopped breathing, eyes closed shut. next thing you know he crunched forwards with a groan and warm liquid spilled out your pussy and all over his thighs<33
lins notes: everybody thank miss @puppybelles for making me lock the fuck in for this (im making out with her as we speak)
taglist: @saeivra (comment or send me an ask if u wanna be added to my taglist <33)
