"I don't want to take ANTIDEPRESSANTS", I say, choking down an untested cocktail of random supplements recommended to me by various internet strangers instead
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"I don't want to take ANTIDEPRESSANTS", I say, choking down an untested cocktail of random supplements recommended to me by various internet strangers instead
*takes 5-HTP*
I am K̯͙̘̳̣̞͚e̠̗̬v̕i̮̭͔̹̦͇͝ǹ̠̦͇̘͔, welcome to S̟T̥R̮̮E͇̝̭̝͕͕̤X̢̹̣̫͚͉ͅ.
This morning when I woke up, I had every intention of going to hospital. I got up and started gathering things to put in a bag. I was part way through packing when I started to get hungry so I grabbed some food and sat with my housemate. After chatting to my housemate, and their friend that had been to the hospital I was about to go to, I decided it wasn't the right fit for me just yet. I don't want to be locked away in a place for 2-8 weeks, with (in my mind) not the right therapy for me any way.
I came back into my room and grabbed an old therapy booklet. Just reading through some of it lifted a weight a little.
I still need help dealing with the stuff that's been nagging and unresolved for years but for now I have hope that with a dedicated appointment each day (with myself) I can cope. I want to learn how I can enjoy it so it becomes something I want to do each day, rather than something that's often just distressing and exhausting.
I think the 5htp has helped quite a bit too, even though I wish I had smaller doses. Maybe I'll open the caps up and eyeball half.
I'm looking forward to possibly including a little breathing space in my stream too, I've never directed one before so I think I should practice it a little. I think taking three minutes out, halfway through stream to be mindful could be super helpful for myself, I may as well share it.
⥂ Metadinha
Normani Kordei + Camila Cabello
⥂ @metadinhaxsz
Imagine if Camila hadn't auditioned for x factor. She would've been Fifth Harmony's biggest fan and the stinkiest Lauren Jauregui trash
I'm in love
"eu apenas procuro por amigos de verdade, que nunca vão me decepcionar."
Camila Cabello - Real Friends
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