Little Bee is hard at work growing inside, but my biggest hurdle this week has been non-pregnancy related (kind of).
First, I'm still off my anxiety meds, and I've had a little trouble. The Lexapro withdrawals are still pretty gnarly, and I can really tell a difference. My overall anxiety level is back to pre-medication levels, and my pulse spikes regularly again like it used to. I had one night where I broke down and took a Xanax for an impending panic attack. The next morning, I was still feeling really anxious, so I emailed my OB about finding an alternative to Xanax that is safer during pregnancy. Their answer? "Just restart the Lexapro." Ugh. I'm open to restarting it, and even strongly considering it, but that wasn't what I asked them!
Which leads me to the second hurdle. I decided to change OB practices today, for several reasons:
I don't feel like they listen to me, or take my concerns very seriously. I don't like feeling as if I'm being "humored".
The practitioner I've always seen and liked is leaving the practice.
I just don't like the vibe I get when they do bother to talk to me or answer my questions.
For instance, I was anxious to have a Doppler or ultrasound done at 8 weeks to check for a heartbeat. I know Little Bee is probably fine in there, but if I could just know there was a heartbeat, I would feel much more at ease. Old OB's answer? "We can't do this. We do them at 12 weeks. That's our policy." The new practice I am going to see at least explained to me in detail the reasons it wasn't feasible, but offered me options. They can't do Doppler at 8 weeks because Little Bee won't be out of the pelvis enough, and they won't be able to get insurance to cover an ultrasound without medical need, which they felt I was progressing well without the need for diagnostic imaging. They did offer to me that they could and would offer an ultrasound, but it would be entirely out-of-pocket. Just the fact that they took my concern seriously and tried to work with me sold me. My first appointment will be about a week and half later than I had scheduled with the first practice, but I think it will be absolutely worth it.