Largest Collusion in Soho
Largest Collusion in Soho by D20Owlbear
A birthday fic for @atmilliways
Crowley, Aziraphale, a couple of bottles of wine and mutual revelations.
Truly, the idiots of a generation every generation.
“Di– did’ju know,” Crowley slurred, waving his empty wine glass in the air to make his point, one foot thrown over the back of the couch, the other foot resting perpendicular on his knee, and head in Aziraphale’s lap, “A baby water deer ‘s so small ya can hold it in yer palm hand?”
Aziraphale snorted inelegantly into his own glass, which had much more recently had a refill of a delightful champagne Crowley had brought over. “Can’t be, deers ‘re large.”
“I heard it!” Crowley growled, throwing his hands in the air in a mockery of frustrated disgust at not being believed, even as he looked up at Aziraphale and watched with shining eyes as the angel took a large drink of his wine.
“You’ve heard lots, dear boy,” Aziraphale crooned, patting the side of Crowley’s head.
The demon rather immediately forgot what he was trying to convince Aziraphale of and with a sighed, “Tiny ones, wif fangs…” he nuzzled into the palm of Aziraphale’s hand. The stem of the wine glass cracked above him and Aziraphale nearly dropped his drink.
“Oh– my dear,” Aziraphale murmured, unable to keep his own eyes off Crowley’s face and raking over his body with a fire alighting in his stomach at the lanky form laid out on his couch like a feast.
“Mhrmm?” Crowley mumbled, opening an eye to look up at Aziraphale, unusually glad he wasn’t looking at his face because he’d have no way to hide the utterly soppy, smitten look in his eyes with his sunglasses halfway across the room.
“Did you feel that?” Aziraphale listed to one side and then the other, as if he were trying to pinpoint something, before leaning forward enough to knock Crowley off his lap and onto the floor. “Oh. Very sorry, my dear.”
“Hmrng?” Crowley sat up, mussed haired and wobbly. Aziraphale made eye contact and Crowley made another noise, this one more impossible than the first. “Yeah, prob’ly. Feelin’ somethin’.”
Crowley stood, pushing himself up with help of the couch and Aziraphale’s shoulder, and staggered over into the bookshop proper. Aziraphale blinked stupidly and followed. The gentle, sweet feeling of love was coming from there that he’d felt.
“Oh I know you can’t feel it, dear,” Aziraphale laid his hands on the shelves and trailed his fingers along the not-really-dusty wood. “But there’s a feeling of love, so much, and so big, I didn’t even feel it until I, well, hiccuped.”
“Hiccuped, angel?” Crowley drawled with something like a half-hearted sneer as he tried his best to keep looking, working his way around the shop in a counterclockwise fashion to Aziraphale’s clockwise. “Funny though, didn’t look for it ‘till ya said something. Know ‘t’s Soho ‘n all, but lots a lust goin’ on around here. Big thing too.”
They slowly searched for the epicenter of their respective Big Ones until they met up in the middle of the shop. The demon and the angel blinked slowly at each other with understanding slowly coming through drink-drowned heads.
“You!” They pointed and shouted. Crowley’s lips were pursed and his shoulders hunched until he looked quite a bit like an accusatory gremlin and Aziraphale’s hair and clothing had puffed up a bit in his search, which left him looking not unlike a particularly prim owl in his over-large spectacles he liked to wear for the look of it.
“Darling,” Aziraphale began, “but demons don’t feel love?”
Crowley’s jaw worked uselessly before stepping closer and jabbing his finger at Aziraphale’s nose, “Angels don’t feel lust!”
Aziraphale only shook his head minutely with the sort of look on his face that spoke of honest confusion at the stupidity of people.
The two of them fell to the floor, laughing uproariously, beside each other in relief and joy from their mutual revelations tonight. And suddenly their mouths were on each other, shirts torn and buttons went flying.
One of the largest collusions of love and lust on Earth came together with a bang.
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