The greatest heartbreak songs matched to the 5 stages of heartbreak
'Cause it turns out most of the songs I listen to revolve around heartbreak.
Stage 1: Denial
• Iris - Goo Goo Dolls - “I don’t want the world to see me, ‘cause I don’t think that they’d understand” - Against the better judgement of everyone around you, you will still have some hope that everything will work out.
• Long Gone and Moved on - The Script - “I still don’t know how to act, don’t know what to say” - The awkward stage in which you have to learn to be friends again.
• Yesterday - The Beatles - “Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be” - When you feel like you need the person you loved to be completed.
• The Break-Up-Song - Abbey Glover - “Then you say: “It’s over, I’m so, so sorry.” I say: Oh God no, please don’t do this to me.” - For repeating the last conversation you had over and over again in your head.
• I miss the old you - Abbey Glover - “Kiss my cheek and stroke my hair. Is the you I used to know still in there? I don’t know what to do, but I miss the old you?” - When you still hope the two of you can return to what you used to be.
Stage 2: Anger
• Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley - “Love is not a victory march, it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah” - When you’re tempted to throw away every RomCom you own.
• Goodnight Elizabeth - Counting Crows - “I’ll wait for you when she slips in something comfortable and I will miss you when I’m slipping in between” - An ode to the rebound relationship.
• Breakeven - The Script - “‘Cause she moved on while I’m still grieving” - When everything clearly meant more to you than it did to them.
• No Good in Goodbye - The Script - “Where’s the nice in nice try” - When you’re done with all the well-meant advise.
• Numb - Nick Jonas/Roes - “He love me, he love me, no he don’t” - The moment you have to face the truth.
• Chainsaw - Nick Jonas - “I’m gonna break the fucking china ‘cause it’s just one more reminder you’re gone” - For the post-breakup ‘cleanup’.
• Broken - Abbey Glover - “My heart may be broken, but at least I’ve got one” - It’s so easy to hate, it takes strength to be gentle and kind. (Yes, this is a quote to explain a quote 😂. For the curious ones; it’s a quote from ‘I know it’s over’ by The Smiths.)
Stage 3: Bargaining
• If My name was Whiskey - Carly Pearce - “If my name was Whiskey maybe right now you’d miss me” - For blaming the break-up on anything else then the relationship itself.
• Dive - Ed Sheeran - “Maybe I came on too strong” - Self-doubt.
• Hate me - Blue October - “Hate me for all the things I couldn’t do for you” - It hurts to think about what you could have done differently.
• Stanger things have happened - “I can change, but who do you want me to be?” - For the moments you would do everything to get them back.
Stage 4: Depression
• What hurts the most - Rascal Flatts - “What hurts the most, is being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away” - For every funny article you want to send your ex, which makes you remember how close you were.
• Another love - Tom Odell - “All my tears have been used up” - For the moment you feel empty, numb.
• Happier - Ed Sheeran - “I know I was happier with you” - For the moments you miss them.
• Before the Worst - The Script - “Everything we talked about is gone” - When you’re not ready to start over again.
• Dead Man Walking - The Script - “Already broken, already gone, already know you’re moving on” - For the moment they move on.
• I’m a mess - Ed Sheeran - “I messed up this time” - For the moments you feel lost.
• Dancing on my own - Calum Scott - “I’m just dancing on my own” - When it’s time to be the crying, drunk girl on the dancefloor.
Stage 5: Acceptance
• Murder of one - Counting Crows - “Are you happy when you’re sleeping? Does he keep you safe and warm? Does he tell you when you're sorry, does he tell you when you are wrong? - Hopefully, you will reach the point where you want the person you loved to be happy, even if it’s not with you.
• Six Degrees of Separation - The Script - “... Fourth; you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself. Fifth; you see them out with someone else. And the sixth is when you admit you may have fucked up a little” - When distance finally has made things simpler.
• Una Mattina - Ludovico Einaudi - For when everything falls back in place.
• Give me love - Ed Sheeran - “Maybe I should let you go” - When you realise it’s time to move on.
• I know it’s over - The Smiths - “I know it’s over and it never really began, but in my heart, it was so real” - Once you come to terms with your feelings.
• Forget her - Jeff Buckley - “Don’t fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment you met her” - For the moment you have to cut the bullshit.
• I still want you - Abbey Glover - “’Cos I still love you and I still want you back. But I couldn’t put myself through that again. And I still want you, Oh I want you so bad. Don’t know why you’ve got my heart, but I’d like to have it back.” - There will be a moment in every break-up in which you realise they weren’t right for you, even though you wanted them to be.
• I hope you’re happy - Blue October - “I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re good. I hope you get what you wish for and that you’re well-understood.” - The moment you’re truly over the break-up.
• So much better - Legally Blonde - “I am so much better than before!” - People grow from pain, I hope you will eventually be able to do just that.
The five stages of a break-up that were mentioned in this post were explained in this article of Psychology Today by Jennifer Kromberg PsyD https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/inside-out/201309/the-5-stages-grieving-the-end-relationship
Listen to these songs on my Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/l.kluijtmans/playlist/6ovhU2kwWPwk2GVZDjdpWU?si=FdrxGhn-SzqVAL424TUPkw
