I've had an unfathomably stressful weekend among my right-wing maternal relatives. Naturally, I'm celebrating my escape with a poll!
I like to headcanon a bunch of my faves as ace or grey-ace, sometimes with reasons that make sense to other people, sometimes out of pure projection (I'm a grey-ace lesbian myself, and this bleeds out into my fandom tastes!).
Pick a character to imagine as ace/grey-ace
Luke Skywalker (in the Star Wars original trilogy films specifically)
Charlotte Lucas (in P&P the novel specifically)
Every male character in Middle-earth (in Tolkien's versions)
Spock (Star Trek TOS & ye olde ST films only)
Romanadvoratrelundar I (Doctor Who TV season 16 only)
Athena (Classical Greek literature, though Roman lit's Minerva is, too)
Anakin Skywalker (in the Star Wars PT & OT films & Rogue One film)
Fitzwilliam Darcy (P&P the novel only)
Emelye (The Canterbury Tales)
Tar-Telperiën (Tolkien)
Moiraine Damodred (Wheel of Time)
Cassian Andor (Rogue One film only)
Voting ended onJan 6, 2025
REMINDER that this isn't (necessarily) a vote for your favorite character, or even your personal favorite-of-all-time ace headcanon. Vote for the character on this list that you would most enjoy imagining as asexual or grey-ace. Feel free to add details about your headcanons for your choice, though!
Details for mine specifically:
Luke Skywalker - aro-ace, misunderstands his natural rapport+psychic bond with Leia as attraction in part because he's never actually experienced real attraction and never will.
Charlotte Lucas - ace lesbian.
Men in Tolkien - grey-ace or ace, depending on the instance (I was tempted to exclude a very few specific individuals like Finwë, Samwise Gamgee, and Eöl, but it was inconvenient, and honestly, I still feel the Tolkien default for dudes is grey-ace).
Spock - gay grey-ace outside of pon farr scenarios (he hates the prospect of pon farr with T'Pring for multiple reasons! he's also aggressively disinterested in Mudd's women, the lady sexbots in "Shore Leave," etc, for ... uh, also multiple reasons).
Romana I - grey-ace.
Athena - very aggressively 100% aro-ace, can and will strike down anyone who doubts this.
Anakin Skywalker - Padmésexual.
Fitzwilliam Darcy - grey-ace, has been slightly attracted to people before, but rarely and not very strongly, until Elizabeth upends his entire experience of sexuality in the space of about 2 weeks. His own feelings only get (far) more intense and foreign to him from there.
Emelye - aro-ace. Rarely have I more strongly wished I could free someone from the story they're trapped in.
Tar-Telperiën - aro-ace, will bring the full weight of royal power to bear on anyone who has a problem with it (following the example of her lesbian great-grandmother Tar-Ancalimë, but refusing to marry at all. goodforher.jpeg)
Moiraine - grey-ace & lesbian. Yes, I know Jordan wants me to believe she's into Thom. je refuse
Cassian Andor - grey-ace, and near the "fully ace" boundary. He's mostly into Jyn and very surprised (and initially dismayed) about it.
Yknow. I've been doing some reflecting today and I think one of the reasons I rejected, denied and hid from aroace labels for YEARS was because I had this deep dark fear that I "wasn't" ace, and that I was just traumatized from my SA experience and my abusive romantic relationships.
And like, I DID eventually spend a number of weeks doing deep reflection on my life and conclude that No, I was Always like this, it's just that when I was Younger I was trying VERY hard to be the person I was raised to think of as "good" and "successful" [have a partner, dont have a "dead bed", live together, get engaged, start a family etc etc]. and that Allo people don't see those things as just a stressful juggling checklist, but also desire them like.....well because they DESIRE them slkfjasdgas
And OCCASIONALLY, that demon comes back in my mind, and tries to undermine me, and I now wave around the lifetimes worth of missed clues and signs as a way to ward it off, to show it that me being ace PREDATED my SA and my relationship abuse.
But the more I think about it as someone who is now a good few years accepted and out as aroace.....the more I realize. That doesn't even fucking matter? Like even though I HAVE come to realize i've always been this way. Lets say for the sake of argument i didn't. and in that case, Even IF my SA HAD been the "cause" for a "sexuality shift", That wouldn't have made me any less valid. If I don't feel the attractions I don't feel them, end of. full stop. And if identifying this way and living my life as such makes me feel comfortable and happy for the first time like ever, Then of COURSE it's right. and of course its Real.
I don't really know where I'm going with this post, I guess I'm just talking out loud, but yeah, Big Growth in the brainbox today. Big Epiphany moment 💡
