I hate how oddly sexualized breasts are, and how oddly sexualized bedrooms are, and I hate how anything not inherently sexual gets sexualized, it was hot outside and me and my boyfriend were watching his friend repair his truck at my house and I had a shirt off and only my binder on since yk it was hot out, and the other guys also had their shirts off and it was considered fine, but when me and my boyfriend went to go relax in the ac in my room I changed from my binder to a sports bra cause my ribs hurt and kept a shirt off cause I was still sweating a lot and really hot, and my mom came in complaining about how I need to wear a shirt and how it's weird to wear only a bra in a bedroom with your significant other even though she knows I'm ace and she thinks it's weird since he isn't ace and I have breasts and bedrooms are sexualized, why is it okay to not have a shirt as one assigned gender and not the other, why are certain environments more sexualized than others, it makes no sense especially since we weren't doing anything sexual, neither me nor him made it weird, but my mom was making a huge deal out of having tits in a bedroom
maybe it's cause I'm autistic or maybe cause I'm asexual but I think the oversexualization of literally everything is weird
"Just because you're aroace doesn't mean you can't have sex or date!" True! You got me. Anyway, remember how in Twilight the vampires technically can eat human food but it tastes like dirt and eventually they have to throw it up?
My thoughts on the new ace flag as an aroace person
🖤🩶🤍💜 -> 🖤🩶🤍💛🩷💜
I am going to preface this by saying I mean no hate to the creator, these are just my thoughts. I also know nothing about the process of creating pride flags or how any of this works, so if I get any of that wrong please (gently) correct me. I acknowledge that I am a flawed human being who is influenced by her experiences and biases. Please be civil and understanding. I am simply expressing my opinion, and if you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything at all.
I didn’t even know the meanings behind the stripes until today. Is it weird that 25% of the flag is dedicated to allies? Yes, that is undeniably odd, and I can understand why people would want to change it. But what I don’t understand is why we can’t just change the meanings of the stripes while keeping the original design. Again, I know nothing about the process behind creating pride flags, so if this isn’t possible then that’s fine, but it’s not like the colors have to mean the same thing. There are many pride flags that use the same colors with completely different meanings. Heck, all of the original colors’ meanings changed going from the old design to the new one. So if the meaning behind the stripes was the biggest reason for the change, then why can’t we just change the meaning and keep the design?
I personally don’t like the addition of the yellow. I like what it stands for, but to me personally it just feels like it looks too similar to the nonbinary flag. I also think the yellow clashes with the rest of the colors aesthetically. The black, grey, white, and purple all look good together (see the original flag) and the pink doesn’t feel too out of place because of the purple. If they had only added the pink I would probably like it more but the yellow throws the whole thing off for me.
These next few critiques don’t apply to everyone, I know not everyone who’s ace is aro and vice versa, but my opinion on the ace flag is going to be impacted by my identity as an aroace person.
Pink is my favorite color, always has been and probably always will be, and as much as I’d love to have it included in the flag for my sexuality, I don’t love what it stands for. Yes, love is important, but aromantic and asexual people so often have to “prove” that they aren’t broken because they don’t experience traditional feelings of love and attraction. Yes, love can be powerful. But love and sex are so central to our society that aromantics and asexuals are ostracized and treated as different. It’s the whole reason we’re queer! It also feels disrespectful to loveless aros, apltonics, afamilials, or other identities under the umbrella that don’t experience certain types of love. They are just as valid and important as those of us who DO experience love, in any way, shape, or form. And I understand that this isn’t an aromantic flag, but there is such a huge overlap and connection between these two identities as well as aspec identities as a whole. I like the way these people put it: this post in their tags, this post, and this post.
I also really love how the aromantic and asexual flags look together. I like the inverted design and the fact that they both consisted of black, grey, white, and one color (either two green stripes or one purple stripe). These flags have a history together, and people were combining them in various ways for years before we had the sunset aroace flag.
Just look how cool these two designs look!
I understand that may not be a very popular take, but it’s my opinion. The ace and aro communities are tied together, and it feels a bit like this new flag ignores that. Below is a comparison of the aro flag with the two versions of the ace flag. One compliments it WAY better. And this also shows how much the yellow stands out (at least to me).
You can make this same argument for other aspec flags. The agender flag has a similar color scheme and vibe as the aromantic flag, the afamilial flag looks like the original ace flag with a dark red stripe instead of people, and one of the aplatonic flags looks the same but with yellow (I found multiple aplatonic flags when googling but didn’t know which one was the most widely accepted so sorry if that flag is offensive, not used anymore, or anything like that).
While we’re talking about other aspec identities, what does this new flag mean for the micro labels within asexuality? So many acespec identities (aceflux, aegosexual, apothisexual, caedsexual, cupiosexual, demisexual, fictosexual, graysexual, myrsexual, etc.) have flags that are based on or include a similar color scheme to the original ace flag. Will they also get redesigned flags? What would those even look like? Who would be in charge of designing them? The people in those communities? Ashabi? Someone else?
If I didn’t have the original flag to compare it to, I would probably like the new flag well enough. But for so long, this flag has represented our community. The ace flag is so iconic and beloved, I don’t see why we needed to change it. We’re already a smaller queer identity that isn’t as recognizable as say lesbians or trans folks. I literally have to explain what asexual means when I come out to anyone over the age of like 25, and adding another flag is just going to confuse people.
Again, I mean no hate to the creator or anyone who prefers the new flag, people are allowed to have their opinions and disagree. I’ve even seen art incorporating the new color scheme that looked really cool. And who knows, maybe it will grow on me over time. But, for now, I’ll be sticking with the classic design.
To those of you who are defensive of the new design or the creator, please don’t assume anyone who voices a negative opinion of the flag is being racist or misogynistic because the flag was created by a black woman. There may be a minority who feel that way, and they should absolutely be called out and shamed for being bigots, but most of us don’t like it for completely innocent reasons or because we’re simply too attached to the old flag. People don’t like change. Let them adjust. I don’t think the old flag is going anywhere any time soon, and I think both flags can peacefully coexist.
Every time a sister told me they were spending the weekend at their partner's house... I was thinking that it was a slumber party. They'll have some food and game. At night they'll cuddle in the same bed.
One was engaged. The others were dating. And it never occurred to me that they were also having sex.
Then I'm confused when I find out they're sexually active.
Apparently I take things however they're presented to me. Or that stuff just never comes to mind when someone says it. Hell, both.
