#ace identity

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

Anyway, as I was saying:

X years later and I’m still fucking queer– eh, well, non-fucking queer but you get me

Just had a cringe memory about how my coming out in my high school yearbook was botched because the editing team didn’t know the word “queer” and instead of asking me they edited it to “queen” (my handwriting isn’t THAT illegible!)

[sockdreams]

💜Happy International Asexuality Day!💜

We are so thankful to the wonderful nonprofits we have come to know through our Donation Partnerships. These socks were designed with the Ace flag in mind, and for each pair purchased, we donate $1 to a nonprofit that is dedicated to advocating for the LGBTQ+ community!

Pictured above: - Dreamer Proud Stripes OTK - $1 donation to Portland's Q Center! - Dreamer Proud Stripes Crew - $1 donation to Portland's Q Center! - Dreamer Long Proud Stripes Tube Socks - $1 donation to OutRight Action! - Proud Stripes Knee High Socks - $1 donation to SAGE

♥Sabrina Sock Dreams ✿ Free US Shipping ✿ $5 International Shipping ✿ Find us on pinterest | instagram | facebook | twitter |  tumblr | blog Subscribe to the Sock Dreams Newsletter to keep track of us! Local to Portland? Our shop on Mississippi Ave is now open with limited hours!

[the-asexuality-blog]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

One of the first things I want to bring to everyone’s attention is the fanfiction series that helped me realize that I am asexual. Yes, I know it’s BBC Sherlock, infamous queerbait, but this fanfic series is well written and profoundly meaningful for me. I found my identity in Unkissed Sherlock.

There are some scenes of explicit sexual interaction in this series, so be aware of that if you’re sex-repulsed. As with any fanfiction, please read the ratings and tags before you decide to open one of them, and if you find it’s not to your liking, put the Back button to its proper use.

[queerascat]

I consider myself an asexual, but it's a very small part of my life because that side of me is so minor. I just focus on work and my hobbies. So when people say I (a cis heterosexual woman) is a part of the LGBT group, I get so frustrated. How? HOW? It just feels like others FORCE themselves into it to make themselves feel special. I promise I do consider myself actually ace and I'm not bullshitting. This has been bothering me for a while.

hi, anon.

it can be hard to relate to others on the basis of a sharedidentity when despite that shared identity, others’ needs, goals, experiences,and / or associations related to that identity differ from your own. sometimessuch dissonance can make a person question their own or others’ relationshipwith that identity, experiences tied to that identity, etc.

i’m sorry that you find yourself in such an uncomfortable position,anon. i assure you that i would never question your ace identity, least of allbecause of how you feel regarding your place in the LGBT community (or rather,your lack thereof), nor would i insist that you, as an ace, do have a place inthe LGBT community if you do not feel that you do. anyone who would do or hasdone so is out of line, in my humble opinion.

having said that, while beingpart of the LGBT community on the basis of asexuality may feel forced to youbecause you personally feel like having any part in the community yourself would be forced, it’s important to keep in mind that other aces are not you. what may be a minor part of your life can legitimately be a major part of someone else’s; others’ needs, wants, and experiences may not align withyours. and that’s okay. their wants,needs, etc are just as real and valid as your own, whether you understand them ornot. the opposite is also true, of course.

while i am among those peoplewho considers themself to have a rightful place in the LGBT communityspecifically on the basis of their ace identity (among other reasons) and doadvocate for the inclusion of aces in the LGBT community, i recognize that not all aces want to be included and respect the autonomy oftheir decision, regardless of whether i personally understand it or not.

and i’d hope that that respectwould be mutual.

rest assured, anon, thatno one is trying to ‘make themselves feel special’ by being part of the LGBTcommunity and it is rather offensive that you would even suggest that. as yourask doesn’t have a clear question in it, i’m not sure if you came to me in thehopes of gleaning some insight into why some of us are part of the LGBT community. if that waswhat you were hoping for, however, i’m more than happy to share my own personalexperiences and feelings with you, as well as point you towards others’. let meknow with another ask and i’ll do just that.

that said, next time you cometo someone in the hopes of insight into their feelings, i’d advise you to showthem a bit more respect / give them a bit more credit than chalking up their feelingsto them simply wanting to ‘feel special’ in the very same ask. :)

[fluffyblue-multifandommess]

to be honest I should have guessed I was ace when I first started fantasizin about a world where everyone is asexual, and people only have sex, and only want to have sex, in order to have children

But of course by “should” what I mean is “couldn’t have”, because even tho I’m pretty sure I was at least 17 or 18 when I had those thoughts, I had never heard the word “asexual”, had no idea “asexuality” was a thing, had no idea “not being interested in sex” was A Way Some People Feel Their Whole Lives.

I would feel the most at ease in a wholly asexual society but since that is not the world I exist in, I’ll settle in a wholly understanding of asexuality as a valid way to be society.

[toronto-aces-and-aros]

Ace Toronto July 2019 discussion

July Discussion: Tentative topic: The intersection of “A” and other LGBT+ identities

Saturday, July 27, 1-3pm

519 Church St., room C101 (main floor-- glass room near entrance: it was the only room available and we can cover the glass with flags for privacy)

Accessibility at The 519 Community Centre (519 Church St.):

large ramp to enter building; elevators inside

all gender washrooms available

please avoid scented products (we will have unscented soap)

closest TTC station is Wellesley which is *not* an accessible station

we regret that we are unable to offer ASL interpretation

[a-trace-of-ace]

Follow them on twitter!

[rotten-zucchinis]

“Identity” mini-series re: uniqueness and group membership-- an Overview

This mini-series was written for the January 2018 Carnival of Aces on “Identity”. The round-up is available [here]. (The call for submissions was [here].)

This mini-series explores 2 approaches to “identity”-- with 4 supplements which originally started out as footnotes that got too long... because I’m a dork:

Parts (summarised below):

Part 1: identity as “all-encompassing sense of self” [here]

Part 2: identity as dislocated aspect of self (i.e., “an identity) [here]

Supplements:

On the ongoing construction of *stable* identity [here]

On socially irrelevant “non-identity” aspects of self [here]

On implicit aspects of identity (& accessibility implications) [here]

On “identity” in logic & math, as a metaphor [here]

“Identity” is on of those tricky words. It can mean different things in different contexts and to different people. Conceptually, is my identity a statement / expression of my uniqueness or of what I share with others? Or both? (Logically, there could also be an argument for neither, but I’m not so interested in that.) 

Is my identity the sum total of my sense of self situated in my social context? Or is it a singular, modular piece, disembodied from everything (an “ace” identity, a “non-binary” identity, etc.)? Or both?

The (multidimensional) multiplicity of “identity” is ironic given that it’s the logical “law of identity” [definition] which says that this very multiplicity will make conversations about identity ambiguous and confusing. [More in my supplement on logic & math meanings of identity]. And logic and math usages of the term offer a good metaphor for anyone interested in that kind of thing. 

More broadly, when it comes to “identity”, there’s an inherent tension between uniqueness and universality; between the individual and the collectively shared-- a dialectical tension between individuality and relationality.

Part 1: All-encompassing “identity”-- the *unique* self (which is situated, and therefore defined relationally) [full text here]

“Identity” is the all-encompassing sense of self that can’t be described succinctly or with a single label or string of labels. My identity in this sense is every aspect of who I am and what it means to be me, as I exist in and move through the world. It is therefore a reflection of my uniqueness, even as it is situated and can only be properly understood in my social context.

When I say that being asexual is part of my identity, or that my identity is asexual (among other things)... I mean that being asexual is part of who I am as a person, and how I experience the world. I mean that it matters to me and that it’s intertwined with other aspects of who I am. It means that I share *something* in common with other ace folks.

Part 2: Identity as a dislocated aspect of self that is socially relevant and shared among a group [full text here]

“Identity” can also be the dislocated aspect of self, that is socially relevant and shared with some kind of group, and as such, it can be named or labelled succinctly. In that sense, “an identity” or “one of my identities” is an aspect of my whole self which represents some kind of affinity with a group or shared experience. An “identity” is an inherently relational label, even if it’s just a small piece of a larger whole.

When I say that I have an asexual identity (among others)... I mean that I think of myself as asexual, as having something in common with other aces, as being part of that group or community. I am acknowledging the ways I interface with the violence of heteronormativity’s regulatory power, proclaiming *how* I am not “the norm”, and declaring instead what *I am* and where I belong. I’m saying that this aspect of my experience “makes sense”-- and giving you my chosen label to help you understand.  

Supplement #1: On logic & math meanings of “identity”– a metaphor for different meanings of “identity” [text here]

Supplement #2: On the stability of actively “constructed” identity (or memory) [text here]

Supplement #3: On something not being part of identity because it’s “socially irrelevant” [text here]

Supplement #4: On something not explicitly being part of identity because it’s “taken-for-granted” [text here]