#aceembrace

[theonlyaceiknow]

I just want to write a quick little tid bit of love about one thing that irks me about coming out.

Some reactions that I get *cough cough* my mom *cough* include them telling me “Oh how in the world could you be asexual?? You aren’t, trust me, I know. You have had boyfriends and made out with people and I saw you guys together, that got PRETTY SAUCY!!!” and I’m not even going to talk about how none of that invalidates my sexuality. You guys have heard me talk about that a ton. I'm also NOT going to talk about how having partners and being intimate with them doesn't invalidate my sexuality. I won't talk about how my past does not invalidate my sexuality. Because none of things they say or imply in that statement invalidates my sexuality. It really doesn’t, I am who I am right now. So I won't talk about that.

No no no. Right now, I want to rant about how wrong this whole idea is. As a young and undiscovered ace, I grew up in a hella sexually charged world. I was expected to have crushes and boyfriends and I was expected to spill my guts on the cutest guys, I was expected to act like other girls my age. So I did. That doesn't mean that I wanted to or even enjoyed most of those experiences. I was expected to by the same people who are trying to call me out on it. I didn't want to seem different so I acted like everyone else. That is ok. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, if you want to use it as evidence in your case against my being asexual (as if I haven't already thought of every argument you could possibly make against it and then had that argument with myself ten times) it would only prove you guilty of making my experiences harder, making my childhood worse by forcing me to take part in something like this. It makes you look bad because even now, after I have tried to tell you something about myself, you tell me IM WRONG!! You tell me that you know better!!! As if you have been in my head this entire time. So no, nothing you are saying right now is proof that I am not asexual, nothing you are saying right now changes anything about how I view myself. You don't change me.

 *takes a fucking sarcastic as shit bow to the people people running their mouths about shit they don’t understand and telling me they know better* 

 Hugs and Love,

 Anne 

[theonlyaceiknow]

Great for a quick overview when people want a resource!! Go AVEN!! ❤️❤️

[theonlyaceiknow]

Me: Just letting you know, I'm ace.

My BFF who I think of more as a brother: Alright, I already knew for a while, but are we watching Gilmore Girls or no?

Me: THAT'S ALWAYS A YES!!

Shoutout to the best Ace Ally in the world. He is literally my savior 🙌🏼

[theonlyaceiknow]

What if it's just a Phase? What if it is? That doesn't stop you being asexual right now. It may be tempting to hold back on accepting your asexuality in the hope that eventually you'll 'bloom' into a sexual person. I'm not saying that might not eventually happen, but consider this: do you want to spend your life thinking of yourself as an undeveloped person, living for the dreamed of day when you'll become whole? Might you feel more comfortable accepting who you are now as a whole complete valid person? Maybe one day you will “bloom”, and if and when you do, you won't have lost anything by being comfortable in the mean time. There's no shame in identifying as one thing and then later identifying as another. Your identity isn't meant to limit you. If you've moved on or changed, then by all means describe yourself differently. If you fear you might be different in the future, that doesn't change which label is most useful to you in the present. There's nothing wrong with change.

AVEN

[theonlyaceiknow]

To Start

This is my story. If you don't like it, I don't care. But this is my story. I'm sharing my story because the beginning is so messed up that I don't want it to happen to anyone else. Ever.

So. Here I go.

All my life I have felt a little different. I never really knew how different I was until I hit my preteen and teen years. Everyone around me started talking about how hot guys are and talking about sex, talking about wanting sex. I always faded into the background of these conversations or just got grossed out and left. People called me “innocent” and “young” because sex jokes went right over my head and anything sex related just grossed me out. As I got older, it just got worse. I never realized it but I didn’t find guys sexually attractive. I liked guys for their personalities and my friends would always tease me for my (very very rare) crushes bc they weren't the “sexiest” guys we knew and they were’t very attractive in their eyes.

So then I met my current best friend who, somewhere along the line, started making a joke about how I have the brain of an 8 year old when it comes to sex related things and that I have absolutely no interest in it. I shrugged it off bc it felt true but I didn’t want to admit that and I just assumed that I was still just childish. I once told my mom about how I didn’t really get the big deal about sex but she dismissed it saying that I would get it later, as an adult. This was age 15.

So all my life I have just waived away my slight sex repulsion and lack of sexual attraction that I now know as Asexuality to just not being adult enough or not being fully developed. 

A little while ago I stumbled across an article on the huff post about asexuality. Before that I had never knew it existed. That article led me to a bunch of google-ing and reading. I sat for three days doing nothing but reading every square inch of AVEN and most of their forums where people posted their stories, asking if they are Asexual and I was shocked and at first scared to see how many of the descriptions applied to me as well. I felt like nothing explained how I felt better than these sites and blogs. I was terrified and I told a best friend. She came out as bi to me and I told her that I had known for a while and that it was ok. That response from myself to her really helped me to think about my own sexuality. I realized I am the same person, just I now no longer feel pressured to act like everyone else I know.

So now I feel a little bit better about who I am. It’s a struggle and a process. And I will talk about it because others need to know. Others need to know its ok to feel this way and its ok to be Asexual. You are not defective, you are not “underdeveloped”, you are you. And you is great.

[blazinaces]

New Ace Blog!

Hi everyone! The new ace ask and advice blog, aceembrace, has asked us to give them a quick shoutout. They’re just starting out but they have an enthusiastic, diverse group of mods. Check them out!!!