#asexual rants

[neptune-scythe]

shout out to repulsed aces and aros who have no safe spaces in fandom because it's just everywhere you turn and it's in all the fanarts and all the fanfics and all the posts except for like ... 5% TOPS.

shout out for enduring the horrors every day for the few rare posts that have nothing to do with sex or romance

[theater-life-16]

Why is everyone in every fandom space I'm in so damn horny?!?! Like I just want to enjoy posts or media about them and then either the people posting them or the comments are all horny people!!! Like bro why can you not keep it in your pants for a single fucking post?!?! It might just be me being asexual but it annoys me to no fucking end!! And then I end up not liking a post or a meme or a video because someone made it about sex or said something so disgustingly horny I could no longer enjoy the thing. I hate this and I'm not saying you aren't allowed to feel those things but like you don't have to voice it on every post, or every meme, or every video, or fanart, or whatever! I'm tired of trying to enjoy fandom stuff and connect with people about a shared interest and it always ending up being about sex! Sex isn't a big deal, it's not that important and I'm so tired of people putting it on such a high pedestal that nothing can be created without being sexualized to hell!! Please stop making everything about sex and just let some things exist without it!! I promise the world won't end if you don't post something sexual!

P. S. Please don't comment to argue or insult me, I'm only sharing my frustrations and not trying to insult anyone. If you don't like it, block me. I don't care. This is something I've struggled with my whole life and I just need to voice the frustration of it. I'm also posting this because I feel like there's probably quite a few ace people (or even allo people) who feel the same way but don't want to say anything because they don't think anyone else feels the same. I want them to know they're not alone in this. Once again if you feel the need to comment with some "don't be so prudish we're just having fun", please just scroll past. And if you really hate what I have to say that much, block me. It won't affect either of us negatively if you do.

[dragon-ace03]

Sometimes, being ace just feels like I'm trying to go through life at level one hundred. It's so hard to find someone who will accept that about me and still wanna date me. And then, I can never bring myself to actually like someone without telling them that I'm ace, because I don't wanna lead them on. And, of course, I'm yet to find someone who doesn't rule me out as an option because of that.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, it's okay if somedays you just wish you could feel sexual attraction. It's okay to let out any anger you might be feeling towards people who do. Either because you wish you did, or because you wish they didn't either.

Just remember, at the end of the day, you're still you. You don't have to change for anyone, but you also can't change the world around you. The best you can do is find the positive side of your situation. And remember that there are other aces out there that you might one day meet, and they will be okay with the way you are. And not only aces, there are good, understanding people in the world. And you will find someone who will accept jsut the way you are, and will find a way to be with you no matter what.

All of this assuming you feel romantic attraction hahaha

Stay safe and stay positive

[hannahbelleectere]

So Riverdale: A rant about Jughead and Asexual Representation

I caved and watched Riverdale out of boredom and the fact that I’m a 90′s kid who grew up with a small crush on Cole Sprouse in his Suite Life days. I was also curious how they would handle Jughead given his canon asexuality and the fact that they didn’t use it in the show.

Overall impressions:

1- the adults are all terrible people, but Twin Peaks and 80′s iconic actresses make them better.

2. its such a cheesy formulaic teen drama, but a select few of the “kids” are redeemable and likeable (Veronica, Jughead, Kevin). Bonus Barb is a wonderful thing too.

3.Jughead is a precious cinnamon roll and deserves a better family life, personal life, and just better things in general. Also he is attractive AF (can we talk about the jacket, and general states of unclothedness), and I do feel conflicted about ogling my precious ace baby.

4. the elephant in the room, and my biggest issue with the show, the erasure of Jughead’s asexuality. Now I admit my attention in the Archie universe was really minimal until I they added the ace element to his story. I openly admit the only reason I cared about the show was to see how they would handle this part of the character. 

Going in I knew it wasn’t going to be a part of the show, but i was curious. I started the show annoyed, but the character is so lovable i couldn’t help but latch onto him and watch the teen drama fest to see what happens to him. As I kept watching I was generally on board with the Bughead relationship, as it was sweet and generally harmless. I was all good until the last episode when they went all CW Teen Drama and got all sexy in the kitchen. Did I appreciate the Cole of it all, yes, but that’s beside the point.

Now I know that its the CW and sex sells, ratings boost blah blah blah. That being said, i was so hoping that Varchie or whatever that ship name is would get have most of the screen time and Bughead would be, for lack of a better word, pg given Betty’s mores conservative upbringing and his issues with connecting to another human. But what happens happens and I don’t control the writing. Moving on.

My real issue with the handling of the ace elephant in the room was the hugs missed opportunity for representation. I mean they at least tried at the diversity thing, and the females on the show were far more empowered than some others on tv.  Do I blame the writers/directors/producers for not using it, not too much. It is only in one universe of the comics and most people in the target audience doesn’t care, or would understand the story line.

That being said, any kind of representation would be amazing for ace kids/people like me who think they are broken/ there is something wrong with them. I didn’t know what asexuality was until 5 years ago when a friend told me that they were ace and something clicked that I was too. I had no idea what it was, that it existed, and that there were other people who felt like I did. Its a cheesy story I know, but my point is, if I had seen a character on tv that was like me before I went off to college I could have saved myself years of thinking I was broken and wrong.

That is why I wanted ace!Jughead. As a 26 year old well aware of the ace spectrum now, I still want a character on a major network to be like me, and be the butt of a joke (Sheldon Cooper). As far as I know the only canon ace character in tv is Todd Chavez on BoJack Horseman and his coming out made me so happy, as did the response to it from his girlfriend.

Also, Cole is awesome for fighting for keeping Jughead ace, you are a wonderful human being for that, even though you trolled Tumblr users in a savage way. Thank you for standing up for ace representation.

so TLDR: Representation is all I wanted for the character. I wanted people ace or not to be aware of the ace spectrum and normalize it, but that doesn’t get ratings, or fit into the teen drama cliches so it got scrapped. Disclaimer: I know Jughead is AroAce in the comics, and I focused on the Ace part as that is what directly affected me. I am not Aro (truth be told I’m closer to sex indifferent/grey ace) and can’t speak for the experiences of those who are and didn’t venture to talk about things I don’t know about.

Feel free to make this a conversation, i don’t claim to know a whole lot about the origins of the character. also am not an expert on the ace spectrum so if I said something wrong I didn’t mean to offend, and if i said something wrong kindly educate me on the matter. This is just my thoughts on the matter.  ?

[theonlyaceiknow]

I just want to write a quick little tid bit of love about one thing that irks me about coming out.

Some reactions that I get *cough cough* my mom *cough* include them telling me “Oh how in the world could you be asexual?? You aren’t, trust me, I know. You have had boyfriends and made out with people and I saw you guys together, that got PRETTY SAUCY!!!” and I’m not even going to talk about how none of that invalidates my sexuality. You guys have heard me talk about that a ton. I'm also NOT going to talk about how having partners and being intimate with them doesn't invalidate my sexuality. I won't talk about how my past does not invalidate my sexuality. Because none of things they say or imply in that statement invalidates my sexuality. It really doesn’t, I am who I am right now. So I won't talk about that.

No no no. Right now, I want to rant about how wrong this whole idea is. As a young and undiscovered ace, I grew up in a hella sexually charged world. I was expected to have crushes and boyfriends and I was expected to spill my guts on the cutest guys, I was expected to act like other girls my age. So I did. That doesn't mean that I wanted to or even enjoyed most of those experiences. I was expected to by the same people who are trying to call me out on it. I didn't want to seem different so I acted like everyone else. That is ok. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, if you want to use it as evidence in your case against my being asexual (as if I haven't already thought of every argument you could possibly make against it and then had that argument with myself ten times) it would only prove you guilty of making my experiences harder, making my childhood worse by forcing me to take part in something like this. It makes you look bad because even now, after I have tried to tell you something about myself, you tell me IM WRONG!! You tell me that you know better!!! As if you have been in my head this entire time. So no, nothing you are saying right now is proof that I am not asexual, nothing you are saying right now changes anything about how I view myself. You don't change me.

 *takes a fucking sarcastic as shit bow to the people people running their mouths about shit they don’t understand and telling me they know better* 

 Hugs and Love,

 Anne 

[geekwiththeglasses]

I’m irked, so I’m gonna rant for a bit.

My sexuality is not something you can pick and choose when it is convenient. It’s not. You don’t get to say “well I think I’m grey-ace” when you identify as a gay man every single bloody day until this moment. Yeah, you say you think sex is disgusting, and that it’s a huge turn-off, but when you say ‘but I have too high a sex drive and am actually attracted to a few guys’, you’re not getting it. You don’t get to say you’re ace to your ace friends to try to sound like you’re like us, when you don’t bother doing that to everyone else. It’s not something you just get to put on and off like a jacket or whatever. You can’t just use my sexuality when it suits you, and then completely get it wrong.

It’s even worse when you’re a leader in Allies for the college. Like, you have aces in the group. You have friends who are aces. You’re a leader in the LGBT community, and you don’t even have the decency to listen to us. You’re supposed to be an example, and yet you’re one of the reasons I refuse to join. I ain’t dealing with your ignorance. Even when we tell you ‘that’s not what asexuality is’, you don’t bother to try to change your views or even ask ‘well then what is it’. Cause you know so much more than me, the enlightened gay man that you are. You don’t seem to get that asexuality does NOT equal libido. Stop stereotyping.

You do not get to educate me on asexuality, when you won’t even educate yourself. You do not get to sit there all smug, sure you just schooled an ace on how you’re just like her. You don’t get to look at me like you just showed me a whole new side to you, when you’re still perpetuating the stereotypes and ignorance that I have to deal with on a regular basis from so called ‘oppressed’ twits like you. 

[mysteriousdragon]

Ace Rant

Yesterday I was hanging out with friends and one of them the word asexual and naturally I get into the conversation and I don't know how this statement was brought up but my friend said "you might be asexual" when I Iiterally told them a couple weeks ago. And they proceed to tell me I didn't know who I am and I didn't even know the term until they told me. Both of which is untrue. I do know im ace and they didnt tell me about asexuality that was my other friends. And just because I didn't learn about what being ace was until a month ago doesn't im not allowed to identify with the one thing that finally made me feel accepted and not a freak. This is the second time they tried undoing my identity. The first time they said that I basically couldn't be just ace and that they could see me being demi. Excuse you but if I'm demi I will let you know but until then im ace. I didn't ask for help. The only thing im confused about is my romantic orientation but that is my say so as well.

[raptor-redd]

I generally don’t talk about my sexuality on here because the tumblr asexual community kinda scares the hell out of me, but I need to vent this somewhere.

Thank you, mother-in-law, for informing me that I am not really asexual. Thank you for telling me I wouldn’t be willing to have sex with my partner if I weren’t sexually attracted to him. Thank you for telling me I wouldn’t love him if I’m not sexually attracted to him. Thank you for apparently knowing my mind and my emotions better than I do. Thank you for applying your romcom-based and clearly superior knowledge of love, relationships, and human psychology to me. (For general future knowledge, referencing Nicholas Sparks novel/movies as part of your argument is an automatic loss of credibility.) Thank you for indirectly calling your own son a rapist. Thank you for telling me that your life and experiences are the universal law of attraction and relationships and that no other variants exist.

Thank you for reminding me why visibility is so important. No person, no matter their sexuality, their relationship style, their decisions regarding their partner(s), should have to endure the level of “well-meaning” judgement and “advice” that you gave me Sunday night. Thank you for reminding me why unconventional relationships and non-heterosexuality, gender-nonconforming people, and loving, accepting parents are so fucking important in fiction.

And fuck you, ma’am. Fuck you and your heteronormative, narrow-minded bullshit and refusal to accept anything else in spite of everything you son and I told you. No matter if you 'just want us to be happy' and 'don't really care and long as we're healthy and financially secure', that's no excuse for the way you behaved.