What would happen if Bart started drinking energy drinks
okay so. people say tim has a coffee addiction but they’re so wrong. it’s energy drinks, guys. and one day, he’s with Young Justice after finishing a case, and he pops one of his energy drinks. and of course bart being bart, wants to try it. so he zooms over, snatches it from tim’s hands, takes a sip... and immediately keels over. just straight up passes out.
now, mans has combo number five: ADHD & Autism with a side of fries. and caffeine works MUCH differently for us neurodivergent folks. case in point: bart lying prone on the floor, looking pretty much like he’s just died.
so of course kon and cassie are freaking out, and tim is too, but only on the inside. by second three of bart not moving, tim is mentally drafting an apology to wally. “hey there flash, we’re really sorry but while we were hanging out your cousin kind of died via caffeine poisoning. we think.” and so now the three of them are just standing there in a triangle, looking down at bart on the floor.
and then: a noise. a noise unlike any you’ve ever heard. it sounds like a chainsaw, mixed with a hollywood dinosaur (not a real dinosaur, they’ve met the real ones and they sound nothing like that), mixed with a jet plane taking off. bart is... vibrating? nearly through the floor, in fact. but the vibrating stops for a second. then starts again.
after a couple more starts and stops, cassie starts laughing, close to literal tears. “he’s... he’s snoring!” she manages to choke out between hearty guffaws. kon joins in. tim steels his jaw, but even he can’t help but let loose a giggle. he rummages through the supplies to find some poster board and a thick black marker.
“YOUNG JUSTICE RULE #1”
he writes with the marker,
“NO GIVING SPEEDSTERS ENERGY DRINKS”
