Just a little rant but I'm totally just having a blah and wanna get it out (also if anyone has any advice I'm open to suggestions)
So here's the thing; I am pagan, and my path has meandered and hit stale mates, even faded entirely at times. But it is important to me to work on it, and show my dedication because it makes my soul happy when I do. But I struggle heavily with ADHD. I am unmedicated because there are other issues I need to focus on with my doctor before we can get to that stage. Normally I can use my executive dysfunction to multitask and get my chores/work done. But with religious practice (ex. Meditation, Rituals, Magick Use...) I just can't get on track. I feel like I'm all over the place when I try to do a ritual for the Sabbats, and my magick works more like a firecracker blasting off in all directions instead of helping me achieve my goals.
Everything I research on Wicca, Druidry, and other Pagan paths all stress the importance of will power and focus to success in the craft. But with my ADHD I feel like I'm standing on the opposite side of a cavern with a half broken bridge. I've tried searching blogs, books, and websites for tips on Druidry/Magick with ADHD but only a handful of things come up and nothing really gives tips or tricks to help me fix the bridge and make it to my goal of successful Druidry. I'm just so frustrated with my lack of research and lack of focus, and lack of control, and just ugh... I wanna just be able to grab my tools, state my intention, feel my energy and shoot it out to my goal. To live in my craft without constantly beating my head into a wall.
I dont wanna give up on what makes my soul happy, but some days (like today) it just feels like an impossible path to follow (especially alone).
(Thanks for letting me put pen to paper so to speak and get it all out. Again if you have advice I am open to suggestions)