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Invisible - Part Four

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

“There is no one home” you say hesitantly. That small statement in itself sent small chills down Yoongi’s spine. From what was visible in the darkness of your home seemed more or less like a defined cage of horror and nothingness. You turn to see him still standing in the same position, not daring to move a step. Rather going home, Yoongi couldn’t wire himself to move an inch as all the possible scenarios ran through his head.

“Are you going to come in or are you just gonna stand there looking at me funny?” you ask annoyed. The question seemed to snap Yoongi into consciousness as he began to climb up the stairs and slowly entering the home as if he were an undercover detective. It took Yoongi a second as his eyes tried to focus in the darkness of the long hallway.

Most homes usually had it's own scent; a way to signify that everyday life was present, but all yoongi could get a wiff of was the faint smell of warped wood and drywall. Even without the smell, Yoongi still couldn’t make out not one square shape hanging from the walls in the dark that defined past memories of familyhood.

You dreaded the long hallway and the questions that were sure to come but you were tired of hiding them. Soon as you both trailed into the livingroom, you flipped the light switch causing yoongi to wince from the sudden impact. For an empty house, everything sat in it's place untouched from what yoongi could lay his eyes upon.

You watched from the corner of your eyes as he wandered in place, not sure how to react. His eyes seemed to hit each corner of the living room but instead his face remained blank.

“Care for anything to drink?”. Not that you had much to offer nor were you used to ever offering in such a position like this, but you knew it was the polite thing to do as well as an easier way to break the silence. Yoongi could only shake his head in response as he was becoming more uneasy. Accepting it as it was, you ambled you way over to the armchair, but not once did he move an inch from his standpoint.

“If you're going to just stand there like that, you might as well go home” you mumbled while hugging your knees to your chest, snapping Yoongi back to consciousness. Walking as if the floor may crack at any given second, Yoongi took a seat across from you on the loveseat.

“When are your parents getting home?” it was one of many questions that yoongi had racing around in his head.

“You don't get it” you began, forcing yourself to look in his direction. “There is no one home and there is no one coming home. I’m alone” you hugged your legs tighter. Just hugging your legs became almost as a shield, keeping your composure together.

You expected shock and sympathy to be written on yoongi’s face but instead you received a brick wall and a nod. He could see the hurt in your eyes but not once would he dare force you to tell him other than what you were willing. Because he didn't have to. Looking at you now he could see that there was something different. Other than hatred that had always been clear from the beginning of this mess, for the first time he actually saw a crack forming in the protective steel walls you had built for yourself . No matter how small the portion, you were vulnerable right now.

“It wasn't always like this” you began, breaking the deep silence that began the thicken the air in the room. Apart of you wanted to stop, because you knew if you started speaking you wouldn't stop until you spilled all, but another knew that was exactly what you needed. “My dad took his last breath before I could take my first. Times were hard for me and my mother growing up but she did the best she could. Although I know she loved me dearly there was still a void I could never fill.” you paused, each word feeling as thorns rising from your chest.

“Around four years ago she met a guy, he made her happy and I thought we could finally be a happy family but that was just a thought.” anger began rising in you chest as the memories still laid fresh in your mind. Yoongi waited for you to continue as his own imagination began to think of what could possibly have gone wrong.

“Instead of using his hands to protect me and the women he so desperately seemed to love, it became his most powerful weapon. Day in and day out I had to listen to my mom cries in agony from the pain that just wouldn't stop, but not once did she even try to make it. Love seemed to brainwash her into believing hurt was love. It actual took for him to hurt me for her to see the difference. But not long after he was out of the picture, she found a new source of love. Alcohol. The pain and guilt she felt became too much but sooner or later facing me each day became harder. Leaving me here alone seemed to be the only right thing in her mind to redeem herself but little did she know this is when I needed her most" you sniveled, forcing the tears back.

It didn't matter to you if Yoongi was listening or not. You just opening up, what you kept confined was more so for yourself than it was for him. You needed to get this off of your chest and it was a small weight lifted off your shoulders doing so. Yoongi tried to compress his own rising anger. Just the thought of such a human being capable of causing such pain and knowing that he was still out there somewhere made him sick to his stomach. It began kicking up some of his own horror stories as he watched you fight to not fall apart. You were a weak person pretending to be strong just like he was and you desperately needed to know that you weren’t alone.

“My own father- or rather yet sperm donor was far out of the picture before walking was even a possible equation. Other than the scratched up pictures my mom could find of that man, I’ve never seen him a day in my life.” Yoongi bitterly scoffed under his breath. You turned to see Yoongi still sitting in the love cheer, but this time scrunched down staring at the floor. You had almost forgot that he was even still there until the shake in his voice shook you back to reality.

“It's always been me and my mother. Usually kids would gladly go to the amusement parks with their dad or just something simple as getting picked up from school, but for me that had always been my mom. She played both roles throughout my entire life and not once has she ever complained. After middle school I found a love for music. Everything I touch and feel turns into a song. It was as if I could feel it running through me from my fingertips anytime I got near it. But just as it became my love, it also became my nightmare.” Yoongi finally looked up, looking deeply in your eyes, letting his words sink in.

“As much as I hated that man I found out later that he had been a musician. Funny how DNA works isn't it. The only thing that man could ever given me was my love for music” yoongi shook his head. “After finding out I swore I’d never touch another instrument again. But the only time my mom seemed to smile the brightest was when I did produce music, so how could I stop?” Yoongi fought himself inside for an answer to his unanswerable question.

Yoongi couldn't bare to hold back his own tears as he searched for the answer that you didn't possess. Sooner or later you were brought to your feet because you couldn’t stand seeing him like this. This wasn’t Yoongi who was by fault Jin's friend and a boy you got stuck tutoring because of his reputation of bad grades. No, he was Min Yoongi, a boy lost and trapped in his own depression just like you were.

You walk towards him taking a seat next to him on the couch, pulling him into your embrace. Yoongi was taken back by your sudden bold move but nonetheless cried harder into your shoulder. Neither one of you knew who needed the hug more. It didn't matter at that point who he was or affiliated with, all you knew was that you weren’t alone.

Dawn seemed to sweep over the night sky before you either one of you saw. You found yourself waking shortly after as the strong rays of the sun came visible through the dusty ripped curtains that hung in the livingroom. Forcing your eyes open, you sat up rubbing away last night's tears that you hadn't remembered ever falling. Lying not far away was Yoongi positioned on the couch. Sighing, you began shaking his side. It seemed as a misfortune to wake him from such a peaceful standpoint. Sooner or later his eyes began to flicker open as he forced himself to sit up right.

“Hey” Yoongi said, his voice a little hoarse as he rubbed his eyes. You nodded slowly with a slight wave as you stood shuffling your feet to the shower.

It wasn't the ideal plan to have a boy spend the night at your dump of a place especially on a school night. Just thinking about what people would assume if they were to find out made your stomach turn. It irritated you that you still at this point cared about with others thought.

Huffing as you exited the shower and began to dress. Searching through your dresser you find a grey oversized men's shirts you had bought for a simple sleepwear. You shrug it off hoping he wouldn’t mind and just accept the thought behind it. After all it wasnt your fault that he spent the night on his own.You grabbed an extra towel and wash rag while you were at it before heading back the living room.

Yoongi seemed more awake this time along but not by much as he ruffled through his fringe. You handed him the the things you scavenge for. Thanking you, Yoongi headed to the bathroom to freshen up. As you waited you let the night before replay in your head. Who would have thought you of all people would have a guy over, especially a guy like Min Yoongi. It wasn't rocket science that he was handsome - maybe even more than Jin, but that would have a been a debate you were sure to lose. There was no need in comparing the two. Jin was as handsome as you would expect any magazine model the be. But for Yoongi, the more you talked to him and the more you were in his presence, the more his features became more prominent.

You trotted to the small kitchen to find pots and a frying pan that never had a meaning in your house until today. It made you feel warm inside to be cooking not only for yourself but someone else. You couldn't remember the last time you had a home cooked meal or shared one for that matter.

Yoongi got out of the shower quickly putting on the fresh clothes that were given to him and he exited the bathroom. Letting his nose guide him, he walking into the kitchen just as you began decorating the counter with two plates of scrambled eggs and bacon. It wasn't much but it still brought a smile to his face.

Sitting across from you, you both ate quietly to yourselves. Every once in awhile you'd find your eyes wandering anxiously to the clock. Time waited for no one and sooner than later you both would get left behind.

“What are you doing” Yoongi said in between bites of bacon, staring at you as you would any loonatic.

You glance at the clock once more knowing that you were already more that ten minutes too late. “You think if we leave now we’ll make it to second period before anyone notices?”

“Well gee Y/N, I don’t know do think we are made out of glass?”

“Well I don't know can you pass algebra?” you raise your eyebrow. Yoongi’s twisted up his face as he hints that you were hitting low blows but at the same time was also impressed by it.

He sank lower into his chair while folding his arms against his chest “I’m working on that”.

“Exactly why we need to leave now. Besides finals are right around the corner” you say while grabbing yours as well as Youngi’s empty plates. Just as you were, you felt his hands tangle around your own.

“Please. Just this once let's just forget about school. I don't feel like dealing with the stares and questions. I just can't - not like this.” yoongi begged. Honestly you felt the same as he did. After such an emotional night you were drained but you refused t be stuck in this house.

“Fine then let's go to the library”

Yoongi shut his eyes as his frustration was beginning to show. “Are you seriously still thinking about about education in a time like this”

“Do you want to pass your classes”

“Yea but can't that wait till another time?”

“We’re leaving now” you state, grabbing your things.

For the most part, walking with Yoongi seemed as peaceful as an autumn breeze. That was only when he wasn't complaining. Even while complaining he had all the freedom to turn around and go home but not once had he chosen to.

Complaining was the only way for him to not so openly allow you to see how much he enjoyed being dragged alongside you. He was like a child but the only difference was you could give a kid candy and he’ll shut up. But you were already in your own daze trying to wrap your own head around life. Never had you so openly been one to talk about your personal life. Even writing in a simple journal made you uneasy by the fact that someone could effortlessly read through it. But now that a person rather than a thing knew all your dark secrets; you didn't know how to adjust.

“Here” yoongi offered. Another headphone placed before you, only this time you didn't reject. The song was different from the last but there was no denying that it was the same artist. You let your worries drift away and you allowed to melody to speak to you. Soon as the song stopped you felt as you were reaching for the last tangled notes to hold to long just a little longer.

“Seriously, who is this guy”

Yoongi smiles, probably one of the biggest smiles you’ve ever seen from him. “You’re looking at him” he scratched the back of his neck as you approached the library. Pride washed over him as you looked at him astonished. He had stated he was a producer but you had never thought he was ever this good.

Walking into the library, you placed your things on the same table as you did the night before. It almost seemed as if clockwork while you handed him a few math equations and began your own personal studies.

You felt yourself losing focus when quietly stealing glances his way became more constant. He was the most focus you’d ever seen him. Even if this was strictly education you couldn't get your mind off of his talents. Why it wasn't boasted about and known throughout the school halls were beyond your answerable reach. But then it dawned on you. Music was something he had only shared with his mother, but why you and why now?

You must have been eyeing him too long because his next move left you flushed. He already noticed you off tasked but you being more careless lead to him being more brave. Leaning over the desk, only inches away from your face he stared into your crystal eyes. You had almost forgotten how to breath as you began to lean further back in your chair to further the distance between you two that he created, but it only brought him closer.

“I finished” he whispered before sliding back into his chair and sliding his paper in front of you feeling confident. You cleared your throat as the room seemed to grow hotter than usual as you looked over his work. It amused him how shy you were growing by just a simple act but the longer you stared at his paper, the less confident he felt.

“Well the bright news is that the first one is actually right” you say. Yoongi jumps out of his seat feeling accomplished. “But the second one is wrong”

“You’re lying” Yoongi objects, throwing himself back into the chair in defeat.

“Sorry but I’m not one to lie” you throw your hands up in protest.

“Then what’s the answer”

“You’re going to be so mad when I tell you” you laugh. Quite frankly Yoongi didn't find a joke in this. “It's -36. You forgot the negative sign”.

Yoongi was becoming more frustrated and irritated with your teasing. He wasn’t use to trying this hard just for anything. Seeing this you grab your things and circle around to sit next to him.

“Here try out these problems” you say as you write a few down.

You began to feel yourself drifting off even though you tried to focus on your own task. Saddly learning about ionic compounds and valence electrons just didn't have enough energy at this point to keep your eyes open. You try to reposition yourself in the chair until you noticed Yoong’s pen no longer moving. He was in a deep stare for what seemed more a minute and you figured it was time to speak up.“Stuck?” you ask but all he does is shake his head. “Then what is it?”

Yoongi finally looked up from his paper meeting your gaze.

“I don't want things to change. Yesterday when we both opened up, it was something I’ve never done before and I’m more than sure it's the same for you.” Yoongi’s lips came slightly apart as his gaze became unfocused. Neither one off you noticed how close you were at this moment. It seemed exactly right to close the distance between you two. To close his eyes and press his mouth to yours. Soft and gentle,Yoongi pressed back for a single shared exchange of breath.

Then Yoongi pulled away blinking. “Y/N I didn’t mean to-”

“No” you said, leaping out of your chair, your cheeks hot. “Of course you didn't” you back away headed or the the door. You didn't know how to react. Everything happened so fast and you didn’t know what was right.

“Wait” Yoongi shouted trying to catch up with you.

Quite frankly you wanted this to happen. This kiss but not his sudden hesitation. What did he mean by ‘not meaning to’ kiss you, when he was the one who had kissed you? You flushed even more as he walked a your paced. You refused to look his way as you both awkwardly in your own silence as Yoongi tried to collect his thoughts correctly.

He was running out of time, more than he had realised when your house came into view. You began speeding up your pace while Yoongi reached for your arm, but you didn’t want to stay around while he tried to come up with a way to let you down easily.

“Y/N wait” Yoongi yelled stopping you in your tracks as he caught up. “What happened back there - I didn't mean for it to happen only if you didn’t want me to”

His last words caught you off guard and you had to turn around to make sure it was true. Seeing your expression only made him grin as he took a step closer. “ but if you did, then I totally meant every move and my next.”

Now it was your turn to complete the distance and that you did. But was it the right move?

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