#alien problems

[the-spring-bean]

Amphibious Alien Jimbo:

YoU hUmAnS aRe So StRaNgE. yOu WaNt YoUr LiPs To LoOk WeT bUt YoUr SkIn To LoOk DrY. mAkE uP yOuR mInD.

[sorivii]

My human mobile service just canceled my 5G network because I hadn’t paid. I figured I’d forgotten and went to check how much I owe….

0.01€… AM I A JOKE TO YOU???

[lab-trash]

Skylar, trying to comfort Kaz: Aw, Sky.

Kaz: *Confused*

Bree: Skylar, that’s your name.

Skylar: That’s short for Skylar? I thought that’s just what we called each other.

[linzthesekolian]

[modernwizard]

Ofc humans are weird!! How hard is that?

@marlynnofmany -- I just found out about your Humans Are Weird anthology project TODAY [sighhhhhh...], and I’m wondering what the exact problem is with the submissions that you have received. Taking the theme in wrong directions? Not humorous enough?

I was just thinking that, if I could tell all several of my highly creative followers what you WERE looking for, as opposed to what you WEREN’T, some may be inspired to contribute what you ARE looking for!

[I know I’ve got some ideas, but I can’t write an entire anthology on my own. That would kind of defeat the purpose of an anthology...]

[linzthesekolian]

coming soon to youtube! link to be posted soon.

[castielscarma]

Hi. How are you? Ok you said ask anything... Do you know who is always poking at my booty hole literally but even though I feel this attack I cannot physically link anybody to it. I see like holograms or invisible type beings but it's really bad now that I've discovered I'm BI sexual ( bi everything) that I've ever incountered. These things just come into my private room as they wish and perform sexual acts ( best they can ) not being physical) which is in Alabama two class A felonies. I've been to prison here for way less of an unlawful act. How can I stop this and where does a bi man well mostly but bi girl with no vagina at times too. Dam I'm going nuts and all this extra bullshit is getting to me. Please help if you can

Hi. I'm good, thank you. My first advice would be to move away from Alabama. I think living there should constitute a class A felony. If you can't move out of state, I suggest making a hex bag to disturb these invisible beings' nonphysicality. That way you only have one class A felony, and that's better than two. Also, toss some salt around the house for good measure. The attack on your booty hole should if not diminish then at least be substantially reduced. If all this fails, I suggest trying Miralax. It might be that you during a drug-induced haze have mistaken the visit of analprobing holograms with the need to shit. That can easily happen when you're strapped down to your bed, feet cold, and eyes red. Maybe you're out of your head? Best wishes = )

[linzthesekolian]

let me tell you, I can’t believe I broke out of area 51 just for 2020 to happen like what was that?