I’m remembering why I left tumblr all those years ago. 1) over indulgence in escapism only helps my mental health so much 2) consistent think pieces complaining about the tumblr community when I don’t even have enough mutuals to a. Stir up beef or mixed feelings or b. Observe beef or mixed feelings . Not blaming those posting the think pieces, but it’s always a reminder that social media only does so much for me bc there’s still *people behind the screens bringing their online weirdness, drama, and controversial/problematic ideologies to what’s supposed to be a place to escape. We can truly never have anything good.
Which is why I don’t engage a lot w my mutuals! It makes me scared. I like to silently exist much like in real life bc I also know these connections ARENT that- “real life.” Escapism is both my sedative and used as a luxury. Makes my relationship with media such as tumblr very fragile and inconsistent.
figuring out a world to immerse in, is sometimes better than doom scrolling pedro pascal pics, baking, miniature models, the frog and toad account, and lana del rey memes on my spam instagram. But on the other side my spam Instagram account never have think pieces- it’s just memes, photos, funny comments, and good vibes. (No stories- hence doom scroll which cycles back to going to tumblr so I feel like I’m actually getting something from chronically escaping through this cellular device).
ANYWAY IM RAMBLING. Maybe some of my (few and barren amount of) mutuals can relate, idk 🤷🏽♀️. Maybe consider this an effort of me actually digging my toes back into the tumblr sand of talking to others?? Anyway love you all not FOR REAL but real enough bc tumblr still is a special place that I hold in my heart
Summary: Nishikino Maki vs. Yazawa Cocoro has moved to LA for round 2.
Chapter 2
Nishikino Maki, in a dress that draped like butterscotch sauce, stood next to a vase half her height, full of taller, feathery, ferny flowers, regretting pinning up her hair. There was nothing to do with her non champagne glass holding hand but smooth her dress, which drew too many eyes to her. So she shuffled closer to the plants, wondering how to change their arc so they drooped a little in front of her, providing some cover, until she could figure out where Yazawa Nico might be in this series of rooms. Surprising Nico now seemed less a daring idea than a dangerous one and Maki was getting a headache from trying to sweep the room with her gaze while not making actual eye contact with anyone over Nico’s height. Which had led to one quick encounter with a pair of sea green eyes, but Maki had dodged that quickly enough.
And then a voice cut into her bubble of non conversation, “I loved the touch of ska you brought to the new Alyssa Raghu cover. It’s great to hear a horn section.”
Maki glanced down. The sea green eyes. A smile. Seemed familiar. But out of place.
“I’d love to mix up A-RIse’s sound, but I only get one vote.” A wink.
A-Rise. Tsubasa Kira. Maki found herself nodding, “Add in a producer and that’s even less say.”
A laugh. A light touch of the fair hair, “Exactly. Although, if we were working with someone as talented you, I’m sure we could come to a quick agreement.”
“That’s boring.” Maki said flatly, wondering if she’d just heard Nico’s laugh off her left.
“Oh.” Tsubasa reached forward, moving the fern Maki had been convincing to droop out of the way, “You like a challenge.”
“I like invested, passionate collaborators.”
“Sounds like a good general philosophy.” Tsubasa grinned, “Can I drag a waiter over with hors d’ourves?”
That was definitely Nico’s laugh. Maki found herself stepping forward, trying to get out of her little alcove, but found her conversational partner presenting an obstacle.
“Um…”
“Maki! Tsubasa, I see you’ve met…” And at the sound of Nico’s greeting, Maki spun, arm flying out, Tsubasa hopped back, a waiter stepped left as Maki stepped right, and Nico suddenly found herself under a deluge of margarita glasses. With a variety of colorful flavors, boldly splashed across the delicacy of her delicately monochromatic embroidered ecru gown. Maki gulped, paled, stared into Nico’s eyes and bolted, ignoring both women calling her name.
###
Panic attack? Was that what this was? The racing heart, the replaying the scene in her head, continually hearing Nico call her name. “Maki.” Had that actually been Nico’s voice just now? Maki jumped and saw herself in the mirror, eyes wild, hair nearly standing up where she’d tried to tear it out. She had to get out of there; this was no way to be seen by anyone. Heading for the door, ducking her head, ignoring all the gray and white cooling marble features around her.
She hit an obstacle in the doorway, a frowning Nico with a friendlier glance than Maki expected. “You didn’t have to run off.”
Quick glance down, yes Nico was still covered in the blooming rainbow of margaritas that was going to give Maki nightmares.
“We have to stop meeting like this.” Nico chuckled, her hand casually going to Maki’s elbow in an effort to guide her back into the lounge.
Maki shook off Nico’s hand as she stepped back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I really have to go.”
“You have to go?” Nico’s eyebrow quirked, “They haven’t even started the speeches. You must have been planning to…"
“It’s none of your business.” Maki knew she was rude and blushing and this was awful but how could she stand there and...
“Maki.” Nico’s voice was very tight. “It’s okay.”
It wasn’t. This wasn’t how Maki had planned for this evening to go. She’d sweep up to Nico, see Nico’s eyes light up as she followed the curves of the dress Kotori had insisted Maki wear, and then Maki would smoothly answer Nico’s awed questions about her latest composing gig.
Nico chuckled, smiling at Maki, not at all thrown by Maki’s refusal to engage in conversation. “Nico can pull off anything, but Tsubasa’s getting me a spare, this dress is insured in case of accidents, and I’m not upset. Mostly amused.”
Maki sunk down to a crouch, covering her head with her arms. Why wouldn’t Nico just let her leave?
“Nope, not acceptable.” Nico stated as she pulled Maki to her feet, dragged her to a couch, and knelt down right in front of her. Maki felt a sudden frisson go up the back of her neck as she stared down into sparkling jewel eyes and wondered if Nico was going to pull a glass slipper from somewhere.
“It’s not a big deal.” Nico glanced down at the dress. “Makes it pop.”
“I’m a mess.” Maki raked her fingers through her hair, wondering if she could will it back some less crazed state.
“Well, Nico’s dress is an actual literal mess so you look REALLY good in comparison.”
“I said I was sorry.” Maki’s temper was starting to frizzle to match her hair.
“And Nico said it was ok. And that you look good. So listen to Nico.” Nico snapped back.
“I’m a mess.” Maki repeated, head drooping, refusing to be comforted.
Nico snorted, “Yeah, but kind of an adorable one.” And now Nico was back to being too kind. And Maki was going to cry. So she forcibly swiveled herself sideways and crumpled into a little ball.
Nico’s hand was on Maki’s arm, urging Maki to unroll, “C’mon, Nico’ll get a change of clothes, everything will be fine, and we’ll laugh about it with our grandchildren.”
“What!” Maki sprang up, staring at Nico, whose eyes were so close, and full of mischief.
“I knew I could get your attention.” Nico winked, “Hi, Maki, nice to see you here. Nico thought she was going to have a dull evening.”
Maki took a deep breath and forced a half smile, “Hi, Nico. You look…” she giggled, “tasty.”
“Don’t tempt Nico or we’ll have matching dresses.”
Maki leaned forward as she laughed and Nico’s hand slid over hers and..
There was another voice as the door opened, “Hey, Nico, we found you one. Somebody had a quick change for a party.”
Maki jumped back. Nico sighed and spoke over her shoulder. “Thanks, Tsubasa. How am I doing for time?”
“Still good. How’s…”
Tsubasa’s question trailed off as she met Maki’s glare.
###
N: You should have stayed. YOUR dress was fine : P
M: Aren’t you giving a speech right now?
N: Yes.
M:?????????
N: Just finished. Now they want to take pictures but Nico’d rather have a Maki moment.
N: So we good for the Annie Awards after party?
M: Yes. I’ll be back that morning.
N: Tokyo again?
M: Chicago. Best friend’s engagement party.
N: Umi?
M: No, high school friends. Rin and Hanayo. Hanayo’s about to graduate with her Masters in EE. She’s joining some kind of social media music startup. They’ve been dating FOREVER. Rin spent high school inventing embarrassing forms of PDA just to annoy me.
N: Sounds fun. Do they ever come to LA?
M: Rarely. I go back to Evanston a lot.
N: Secret girlfriend?
M: Very public parents.
N: Oh.
N: Are you going to get in trouble for being tonight’s TWIG gossip girl.
M: I’m 24. I don’t get in trouble.
N:...
M: Papa said to stay away from breakables. Mama said to stay away from…
N: ?
M: Never mind.
N: Nico is intrigued ( ﾟｰﾟ)
M: Maki is tired ● ﹏☉
N: Pajama Selfie?
M: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
N: Nico is beginning to suspect you don’t own pajamas.
M: Good night, Nico. See you next week.
N: Only if you send me an embarrassing PDA friend pic.
M: |`Д´)＞
N: Good night. Slide into my DMs sometime.
M: σ～ (｀´メ
N: (♡´艸`)
###
Maki had never been to this club. And the dress Kotori had insisted she wear didn’t have shoulders and the short, formal jacket she was wearing over it was of some lighter fabric than wool and unlined, so no help with the weather. By the time the driver dropped her off at the red carpet, she was already shivering. But checking coats was always a pain and it was five steps to the door.
The functionary with the clipboard and scowl stepped out into her path as Maki rushed forward. “Name, please.”
“Nishikino Maki.” Maki wrapped her arms around her torso, hoping the person knew how to speed read.
“I’m sorry but I can’t let you in.”
“I have an invitation somewhere…” Maki dug into her pocket, but all she could find was her phone, “There was an email. Yazawa Nico confirmed...we have plans.”
Scowling functionary made a gesture and looming bouncer stepped forward, flexing an arm seemingly accidentally. Maki, her fight reflex sensitive, stood taller.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Maki…”
“It’s Ms. Nishikino,” Maki snapped, “Japanese names are...never mind. Just look at my…”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Yazawa has asked you be removed from tonight’s guest list. That’s all I know.”
“That’s crazy, we’ve been trying to meet up for...Nico would never…” Two glances turned more dubious with every word. Maki paused, listening to herself, “Nico would never”...no, but there was Nico’s assistant….
Pulling out her phone and typing frantically, Maki ducked into an alley, as Madame Clipboard shouted, “There are no entrances there. Please don’t…”
Maki tuned out the voices.
M: They won’t let me in at the door.
N: Oh. Hang on. Let me see what I can.
Pacing and fury kept Maki a little above the early February temperature, but not by much. At least LA was warmer than Utah.
N: Meet me at the back door.
M: Okay.
Leave it to Nico to fix this. But there was Nico, sitting on a...tablecloth, with a plate of food, an actual wool shawl wrapped around a pretty, floral pink gown, fabric ruched into strips that swerved around her hips and torso.
“Here, eat this.” Nico offered Maki the food. Some kind of blah, one star pasta. At least it was warm. “Cocoro thinks you’re stalking me, trying to damage my reputation. So I can’t take you back in with me because she’s got your picture all over security like a most wanted poster. It’s a cute shot though, although the dress is not as pretty as that one.”
Maki stopped chewing to stare. Her mouth was probably open. Was Nico really going to leave her out here?
“You look freezing. Come sit next to Nico.” Nico patted the tablecloth and reached to take off her shawl.
Maki started down hesitantly, but Nico had the shawl wrapped around her before any part of her contacted the concrete steps. And an arm left casually holding Maki at the waist.
“Better?” Nico tilted her head, smiling.
“No.” Maki shoved the plate at Nico, slipped away from her arm, and pulled the shawl tighter. Nico’s clothes smelled like vanilla and peaches. “Are you really going to just leave me out here?”
“No, I’m going to encourage you to go home, have a hot hot chocolate, marry into the family as soon as you can so Cocoro gets used to you, and finally send me that pajama selfie. Tonight. When you get home. Nico has to go back in and finish telling a boring movie exec about her favorite composer and needs something to look forward to.”
Maki knew she was blinking, but her brain seemed to have frozen, and all of the words that had come out of Nico’s mouth had made none of the sense.
Nico bounced up, yanked Maki to her feet, steadied her when she stumbled off balance, and looked the most serious Maki had ever seen her, ruby eyes dark, “I am really, really sorry about Cocoro. You can tag along on my movie date with Cotaro tomorrow as an apology.”
A movie date with her little brother as an apology? And had Nico said “marry?” Maki kept the ends of the shawl scrunched in her hands as she tried to catch up but Nico kept talking.
“There’s a place in my neighborhood with the best popcorn and homemade candy. You’ll swoon.”
Maki decided what to latch on to, “Your brother?”
Nico sighed, “It’s my only free night for two weeks.” She slipped an arm through Maki’s, “Let’s get you a cab.”
When they got to the end of the alley, Nico stopped and spun Maki so the taller woman was looking at her, “Nico really is sorry.” A pause, then, “Can I?” as Nico’s finger brushed Maki’s cheek first, then her own lips.
Maki felt her cheek burn and tingle, even with only a quick brush from Nico’s fingertip. Her pulse started racing and once again, the evening started to feel warm, a thrill of growing excitement replacing the earlier fury. But Maki coughed and stepped back.
“As the lady wishes.” Nico bowed with the flair of a legendary minstrel, her smile a glow, “‘So, Maki, just so Nico is clear, WHEN you want Nico to kiss you, just say ‘yes.’
Maki knew she was blushing. Furiously. But when Nico reached out one last time for her hand, Maki didn’t pull it back. Nico leaned in close, whispering, “And WHEN you want to kiss Nico in the near to immediate future, consider this is my yes.” And then Nico let go and stepped back, “Nico will have a talk with Cocoro. And make sure this never happens again.”
“You better.” Maki shifted her shoulders, getting ready to hand over Nico’s shawl, but she decided she liked the weight of the wool and the hints of Nico tickling her nose and changed her mind. “And I’m keeping the shawl.”
“Good.” Nico’s laugh was bright bliss. “Don’t forget the selfie.”
Maki shook her head, almost finding her footing as she was about to exit the scene, “Nope. You have to work harder than this.”
Nico in the most ridiculous juxtaposition of walking meme and knockout fashion, flashed finger guns and a twinkle of a wink in Maki’s direction as she nodded, skipping away backwards up the carpet.
Maki collapsed into the back seat of the cab, glad for the near privacy. She was going to have to practice a few conversational quips for the movie date. What was the hot movie for 13 year old little brothers these days anyway? She pulled out her phone to do a few quick searches about topics of interest to teens, her cheek still tingling.
A/N: Okay, so you're getting three chapters. Sue me ; )
being a pretty sheltered kid and also living in one of the biggest cities in the US was such a wild experience for me
like, I was at the mall of America one day with some friends when I was maybe 9 years old, and there was a concert going on in the rotunda, and my friends said it was Zac Efron...... I had no idea who that was. never even heard the name, I just heard his singing that day and I remember thinking it was pretty good.
then, only two years ago did I learn that Prince is from Minneapolis, and before that (don’t @ me) I didn’t even know who Prince was
and also, six years ago the Phelps twins were right downtown doing a few events, and I hardly even knew who the Weasleys were.
and ALSO, like two years ago (again at the mall of America) I ran into Gavin from Vine and I had absolutely zero idea he was from Minneapolis, because honestly I had just discovered vine (on youtube) the year before.
so thanks mom, for literally raising me under a rock... yikes. lol
