#andyushka

[fake-russian-chick]

I’m having problems with how painfully and yet comically cringe Buffybot and Spike (And Buffybot as a general) are

[fake-russian-chick]

The Lemongate theory

Hello everybody! Today I wanted to talk a bit about the Lemongate theory in GoT. But, even if you know this theory and think it’s absurd, stay with me, because my point is not about if the theory is possible or not inside the story, but what it represents for the story itself.

For those who aren’t familiarised, the Lemongate theory presents the possibility that Daenerys and Viserys weren’t raised in Braavos as they believed, but in Dorne, based in the fact that Daenerys always mention the lemon tree in her window in the Red Door house. Why is that important? Because based in the geography of the World of Ice and Fire, it’s impossible for a lemon tree to grow in Braavos, as the island is in the same level of the Iron Islands, who also have a tempestuous clime that makes hard for plants to grow. Arya herself mentions how there’s no wood in Braavos as she arrived.

At the same time, in a lot of moments during the books, we see characters making clear that Dorne is the only place in the Seven Kingdoms were lemons grow easily, they’re so common there that the common folk even throws them at people. So, people claim that when the children were took away by Sir Willem Dary, they didn’t go to Braavos, as the kids themselves were leaded to believe, but to a more distant castle in Dorne. Now, there are other more crazy ramifications of this theory, like one that says that Daenerys is not the daughter of the Mad King, but Rhaegar and Lyanna’s, what would make her the princess who was promised. Others say she might even be Ashara Dayne and Brandon Stark’s bastard child, and was taken as a Targaryen after the real princess Daenerys died together with queen Rhaella in the birth.

I myself don’t believe in any of those ramifications, although George already said that there’s something about Dany’s past that it’s connected with the lemon tree, I prefer the most simple explanation, that is that when George first wrote Daenerys past, he meant for her to live in Tyrosh, which is in the same level of Dorne, and therefore, has lemons.

Now, the point I really wanted to get is, it doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter the real reason, or if any of those theories are true or not, what really matters is that theory proves how well-built and how realistic is the World of Ice and Fire, where rules of clime and plants are valid, and able to create twenty years of discussion. There are few stories where not only a little piece of information as “the clime wouldn’t allow lemons too grow and Braavos” is enough to possibly change a character’s whole story and arc, giving it new levels of depths. That’s the reason why GoT is by far one of my favourite universes.

[fake-russian-chick]

The world of The 100: Chapter 2, Trigedasleng.

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to my weed induced reflections about the 100, and how some things just don’t make sense.

In the first part, I ranted about how a Commander doesn’t make sense, but even more than that, I dare to say that the whole concept of the Grounders doesn’t make sense.

Let’s start with the basics, if everyone (or at least the very majority of people) that were later going to become the twelve clans were all American, so why the hell did they switched to a whole ass new language of everyone there spoke English? A century is about four generations, it’s not that much at all, not enough for the language to change so much. In the most absurd case, it could be something they came up with to avoid the Mountain Men to understand them, but then only the warriors would know that language, and the rest of the people would still speak English, instead of the other way around as they establish in the show.

If anyone should have a new language, it is the Ark, as big countries like China and Russia were also part of the Ark, so would make sense if they created a new language to be fair to everyone, especially when you realise that the Ark is actually a communist state (I’ll do a future post going deeper into that).

Now, speaking about how the whole concept doesn’t make sense, like I said before, a century isn’t that much time, so how could they come back to a whole tribal setting if it’s likely that people like Indra and Lincoln met people who knew the world before it went to hell. They didn’t know a thing about technology, or pretty much anything about the old world, and that’s simply absurd. For that to work, it should have passed something like, 500 years, then it would make sense a society who changes so much. Besides, a nuclear war like the knew they portray in the show would take much longer than just 97 years for Earth to be habitable again, so it’s really just not enough time.

So that’s enough of rambling for tonight, but if for some miracle you enjoy my way too deep analysis of teenage shows, please, stay tuned for the next part of this little saga.

[fake-russian-chick]

The world of The 100: Chapter 1, The Commander

Hello everyone! I’m here to talk about a subject I rarely really dive into, but this is something that always bugged me. In the “The 100” show, we’re firstly introduced to the Grounders already in season 1 of course, and since that beginning, we’ve heard about “The Commander”. Later in season 2, we found out that the Grounders are divided between 12 clans (not counting the Skaikru), and they are ruled by one nightblida Commander who can be from any clan.

Everything was fine until this, but the problem begins in season 3, when they tell us that Lexa was actually the one who created the coalition between the clans, so my question is, if before Lexa the clans were all separated and at war among themselves, what exactly is the Commander for?

It’s not like they have outside enemies apart from Mount Weather, but they never really fought against Mount Weather, so it can’t be counted as this “Greater enemy”, so why they even have a Commander? We know that Azgeda killed Costia, and they were never officially punished for that, exactly because at the time, the coalition didn’t exist.

There are another things in The 100 that just doesn’t make sense, and I’m not even talking about the last few season, which were terrible, but I plan to approach those inconsistencies in another post. For now, I’m staying with this one.

That’s it, fellas, see ya in my next fictional rampage.

[fake-russian-chick]

It’s so funny to rewatch Prison Break, because I can only notice the little ironies. Like in the rebellion episodes, where everything started because T-Bag was complaining about the heat, watching that I was like “Bitch, what are you complaining about? In Sona you guys didn’t even have water”

[fake-russian-chick]

Why do I, as a big Addams Family fan, don’t like Wednesday

Hello everyone! I’m here to talk a little about why I just can’t like the Wednesday show.

At first, I was super excited, as a Addams Family show directed by Tim Burton seemed to be the perfect match, and I do like Jenna Ortega, even if she’s a “fake” Latina, but then I started to watch it… First season was okay-ish, although I think they made Wednesday so much of a “I-hate-everyone-and-everything alive-except-for-Enid” that it became too caricatured.

But then, season 2 came out, and thing got worse, because now it feels even less as Addams Family, and more as a poorly done X-Men AU. It kinda of reminds me of the last movie of Twilight, to be honest.

So yeah, for me that’s not Addams Family, and it never will be.

[fake-russian-chick]

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer vs. The Vampire Diaries, pt. 1

Hello everyone! Here I am, now to talk about my favorite supernatural creature, the vampires.

My love for the undead started a very long time ago, and started with the Twilight Saga (Terrible, I know, but in my defence, I was nine) and from that, I started to watch/ read everything related to vampires I could.

Before I realised, pretty much at that age, I started to watch the TVDU, and since that time, it still is my favourite show ever. But, after the ending of The Originals, I decided to expand my vampire obsession and went to look for the other major shows. First I watched True Blood, which is the worst between them, I honestly just watched it because of Eric Northman.

Now (actually in 2023, but I just came back to it now) I’m watching Buffy, and since the first episodes, I’ve fell in love with it. I’m currently at the middle of the 4th season of Buffy, and I can’t help but notice how similar it is to TVDU, or better, how TVDU is similar to Buffy, since Buffy came first.

Now, as always, spoilers under the cut:

Let’s start with the basis of the story, it’s a small town that for some reason is full of supernatural beings of all kinds, and then there’s a human girl who’s also connected to the supernatural. She’s in love with a vampire who tries to be a good man but has a dark side, and eventually comes another vampire who seems to be a monster, but is actually the better man.

And the resemblances don’t stop there, both the girls have a best friend who’s a witch (Willow and Bonnie) and a “evil” counterpart (Faith and Katherine). There’s even a character known as “Ripper” in both of them! (Giles and Stefan) And of course, I can’t forget the annoying human (Xander and Matt, although Xander is a much better character than Matt could ever be), a mean popular girl (Caroline and Cordelia), it has everything!

The trick to make a vampire good or bad once again, in BTVS is having or not having a soul, while in TVDU is about having your humanity switch on or off, but it’s pretty much the same thing, a way to make your vampire the good or the bad guy quickly.

Even the plot of switching bodies happened in both shows, although in Buffy was a one episode thing, and in TVD Katherine stayed in Elena’s body for a longer time

So, here is the closest correspondence of the characters, under my humble opinion, of course.

Buffy Summers — Elena Gilbert

Angel(us) — Stefan Salvatore

Spike — Damon Salvatore

Drusilla — Katherine Pierce

Faith Lehane — Also Katherine Pierce

Xander Harris — Matt Donovan

Willow Rosenberg — Bonnie Bennet

Rupert Giles — Alaric Saltzman

Joyce Summers — Jenna Sommers (in this case even the surname is basically the same)

Daniel “Oz” Osbourne — Tyler Lockwood

Cordelia Chase — Caroline Forbes

I think thats the resemblances I noticed for now, but I’m sure it will have more, so stay tuned to see the part two of my analysis!

[fake-russian-chick]

“Jon Snow is the true heir to the Iron Throne”

As always, spoilers under the cut.

It’s not rare to find on internet people defending that Jon is the true Targaryen heir, and not Daenerys, because Rhaegar married Lyanna Stark, which would make Jon a legitimate child. I know this comes mostly because of the nonsense they did in the show, where Rhaegar actually married Lyanna.

Now, shall we talk about how that’s the biggest bullshit of all times? Yes, of course we shall.

So, for people who didn’t read the books and are unfamiliar with Westeros marriage laws, here goes some explanation. For starters, the concept of divorce doesn’t exist in Westeros, your only option to separate from a spouse is to have the said marriage annulled, which can only be done with a precedent.

Now, if my memory serves me correctly, there are three situations where a marriage can be annulled. The only two situations that can result in annulment is if the marriage wasn’t consummated, or if the woman proves herself incapable of generating children, which we know wasn’t the case with Elia.

So, if Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage was never annulled, and polygamy is also illegal since the times of Aegon and his sister-wives (They were the exception), that means that Rhaegar’a marriage with Lyanna was not valid, and that makes Jon Snow doubly bastard, and heir of nothing.

Also, if Rhaegar had indeed succeeded in annul his marriage, that would make the two children he already had with Elia (Rhaenys and Aegon) illegitimate, which makes zero sense if we consider that Rhaegar’s whole point was about having the three heads of the dragon as three children named after the three original Conquerors. Which also adds to how the idea of Jon’s true name being Aegon, because Rhaegar already had an Aegon. He just needed a Visenya.