Is it dramatic of me to acknowledge that Abaddon explicitly hurts himself and nobody cares???
Like... he's chopped off his limbs so many times that he's memorised the bandages that Katherine uses. Alcohol burns wounds, and yet he lets people fucking pour it through holes in his chest, he doesn't even let go of a SPIDER when it bites him.
How do you think he found OUT he could chop off his limbs, just for them to attach back on perfectly fine?
Pain is COMPLETELY normal for him to inflict onto himself to the others. To such an EXTREME degree that they just treat it as an irritating inconvenience, than some cry for help, or warning that deserves concern.
I can't imagine that he understands what he's doing isn't the neutral thing he percieves it as.
Just realized that before Ray escaped, he had no idea how demons killed the cattle children. like for all he knew he was watching as his siblings were shipped off to a brutal, gorey death. Imagine how much scarier his nightmares must have been, not knowing whether his siblings were being killed cruelly or not. The mind can be the scariest thing and no doubt he was imagining the most gruesome deaths and details. At least Emma and Norman had seen Conny and had an idea of how she was killed. But there was no way Ray was going to ask "was Conny's body like all torn up and mutilated or was she pretty much unharmed?"
When Norman was being shipped away, he still didn't know the details of what was happening to him. Not only was he losing his best friend, but he also didn't know if he was in for a painful death or a quick one. He could’ve been picturing the worst and probably was. and when he escaped, at first his exposure to the demons was limited to the wild demons and the demons from Goldy Pond, both were trying to kill humans ruthlessly. it might’ve been a while before he learnt that the flower thing is kinda painless, it’s so sad to me
~ fetchen angst in which gretchen can’t help but be jealous of how quickly karen takes to cady.
karen’s always clung relentlessly to gretchen…and then the new girl from kenya upended it all. gretchen sees karen holding cady’s arm the way she’s always done with her and, for some stupid reason, everything comes crashing down around her and she feels the corners of her eyes prickle with tears.
then again, she’s always felt this way. she’s always hated it when karen was touchy with other people. not to sound selfish or anything, but she always wanted something that belonged to only her and karen.
maybe she just wants karen to belong to her.
she hates knowing that karen wants to be just as close with other people as she does with her. it’s not fair. first, karen’s holding cady’s arm and what next? what if gretchen gets replaced? what if karen wants someone else to be her best friend?
it has nothing to do with the fact that gretchen loves karen so much it physically hurts when she thinks of her being with someone else. it couldn’t be- they’re not even together.
Now that i have been informed of this ship and read a whole ao3 fic (LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE) on it, i have become obsessed and hyper fixated... SO heres a prompt/story idea for any writers out there! (pls write ichiby content im literally dying)
amnesia au!
Sometime after the battle with Big Mom, or even later in the series, a mission involving Ichiji goes wrong and he ends up knocked out and is left drifting on the sea. He washes up on the shore of a small island and the only thing he remembers is his first name. He's sitting on the beach in a daze when Koby finds him.
Koby was stationed on a small, warm island that has been a victim of numerous pirate attacks. He had a small squadron with him in case the pirates were to come back. (Really it was a forced vacation because he's supposed to be stuck there for a month.) He was walking along the beach when he saw Ichiji, instantly recognizing the curled eyebrows, striking red hair, and germa attire. Koby instantly went on guard as he approached Ichiji and after a small interaction it became very clear that Ichiji had no idea where, or even WHO, he was. Koby decided to take advantage of this and see if he can find out anything about the germa modifications. As time goes on it becomes clear that something about Ichiji was different. Koby heard the stories of the infamous Germa prince, about how he was emotionless and held no sympathy whatsoever. How he was modified to be the perfect soldier, but Ichiji seemed to show any emotion like it was the first time he'd ever even felt. Koby began theorizing on what happened and came to the conclusion that whatever happened before he found Ichiji had messed with his modifications and given him his emotions back. Koby then realized he could try and help Ichiji and maybe even redeem him.
Meanwhile everything felt so foreign to Ichiji, everything he saw came with a feeling and it was driving him mad because a part of him was screaming that it was wrong. When Ichiji looked at the ocean, he felt his mind calm and blue hair appeared in his mind. When he looked at the green leaves of the trees he felt protective as green hair flashed in head. He looked at the pink flowers and felt a deep respect. He saw the sun and felt his heart twist. Ichiji didn't understand it at all.
Koby decides to start his idea with taking Ichiji to see the townspeople, since he doesn't remember anything he shouldn't try anything against them. The marine believed the best way to start helping Ichiji understand emotions was to let him see how other people interacted. It was all going well until one of Koby's men came up to him and reported that a little girl had gone missing. An island-wide search began.
As Ichiji follows Koby around the island, looking for a little girl named 'Miriam,' he feels concern run deep into his bones, it makes him want to run and scream the girl's name but he refrains from doing so. Ichiji sees a flash of yellow run behind a tall tree, and he stops Koby and shushes the pink haired man. Ichiji carefully steps around the tree and sees a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes looking at him. She's obviously scared. Ichiji just crouches down and looks at her, he doesn't know why he does it, he just does. Koby watches on, ready to intervene at any moment. The little girl goes running into Ichiji's arms and she hugs him. Ichiji freezes and doesn't know how to respond, so he looks at Koby, who has a soft smile on his face, and it's a look that warms the red haired man's heart. It's revealed that Miriam's father had been upset with Miriam's poor performance in school and he had hit her. All he can think of is how disgusting the man was for punishing a child for something almost completely out of their control. As Ichiji hears this he sees a scene passing through his mind, of a blonde boy who looks similar to him begging for his father to help him as he's beat into the ground. As the memory(?) fades, Ichiji feels that gut wrenching guilt come back and it's even worse this time.
Miriam ends up having to go home with Koby and Ichiji as an emergency placement while Koby's men and some older townspeople contact her mother. It wasn't ideal, but Miriam didn't want to be away from the men who saved her. Once Miriam is safely tucked into one of the guest beds, Ichiji and Koby sit and talk about the days events and Ichiji reluctantly opens up about the things he felt and saw throughout the day.
Koby is shocked that his theory was right and that there was a chance to possibly help Ichiji. With his mind made up, Koby decides that before he leaves this island, he's going to help Ichiji Vinsmoke become a better person and help him see the error in his ways.
Throughout the story we see Koby teach Ichiji about different emotions and ways to deal with them. Ichiji ends up growing close with Miriam, whose smile reminds him of a woman he once saw. One day, Ichiji is sitting on the couch of the house reading a book when his head begins pounding and floods of memories come rushing back, each accompanied by strong emotions. He feels himself flooded with guilt over the blood he's spilled and the abuse he forced on his brother. Once Ichiji comes back to, he sees Koby fretting over him. He doesn't fully register that he's awake until Koby brushes his hand over Ichiji's forehead, which causes the man's stomach to erupt into butterflies.
Koby and Miriam heard a yell and ran into the living room to see Ichiji passed out on the couch with a pained expression stuck on his face. Once Ichiji wakes up about thirty minutes later, Koby can tell something changed by the haunted look in Ichiji's eyes. Nonetheless he takes care of Ichiji throughout the rest of the day until Miriam is tucked into bed, which is when Koby confronts him.
Ichiji had spent most the day agonizing over his past actions and wondering how the hell he was going to go home like this.
"You remember."
"I do."
Koby sits there and waits for Ichiji to do something. Ichiji on the other hand is questioning if he even wants to go back to Germa. For the past 2 weeks, his home had become the pink haired marine and the blonde little girl, how could he leave when looking at Koby brought him so much peace and taking care of Miriam made him feel like he had a real purpose? Ichiji Vinsmoke was a prince, a warrior, a killer, and a true monster. But Ichiji? The man who lived with Koby and Miriam, who was known to be helpful to the townspeople? He was a friend, a father figure, a lover, a person with emotions. He couldn't just leave Miriam and Koby, they had shown him how to love and to what it was like to be loved. He didn't even realize till this point, the defining moment, that he had fallen in love with man who decided he deserved a chance to be someone else, rather then throwing Ichiji into a cell for the rest of his life. Yet at the same time, Ichiji was also a brother and the heir to a kingdom. He had responsibilities and people to take care of. In that moment, Ichiji knew he had to make a decision. He could go back to being being a prince who killed without ever showing mercy, or he could stay and build a true family. Once he really thought about it, Ichiji knew what he wanted. He wanted a home, where could be Ichiji. Not Prince Ichiji Vinsmoke, not an assassin, but just Ichiji.
"Well? What are you going to do, Vinsmoke?"
Koby was on edge, now that everything was out and Ichiji has his memories back, he could easily turn on the entire town. Koby had tried to help Ichiji without his consent and who knows how the red haired man would react? Koby had spent all this time forgetting who this man truly was. Koby had ended up forgetting that Ichiji was a prince of Germa and instead found someone he was falling in love with. How stupid could he be?! Ichiji Vinsmoke was a dangerous assassin who could easily defeat and entire army by himself, and if Koby wasn't careful, he would take Miriam's life alongside his own. Koby had seem Ichiji go from someone dangerous, to someone who needed help, then to someone who he loved. And in this moment, Koby's own fate rested on Ichiji's decision.
"Don't look at me like that Ko"
Don't call me that, Please don't break my heart
"What game are you playing Vinsmoke?"
Please, I haven't changed
"And please don't call me that either, that's not my name."
"...What?"
The world seemed to come to a halt. Something had hardened in Ichiji's eyes, as if he made a decision.
"I am not a Vinsmoke, not anymore. You're the one who decided and taught me that."
Thank you
"I didn't decide nor did I teach you that. I saw someone who was forced into a horrible lifestyle and saw a chance to help, so I did, because that is what i do. You didn't have a choice. I heard the story after Whole Cake Island and when everything came out. Your 'father' decided your life was worth less and turned you into a lab rat, and you never got a chance to decide how you felt about it because you were only a child and that man stole your humanity in the form of your emotions. You only did what you were taught because no one ever thought to teach you better. You thought yourself higher than everyone else because that is what you were taught and told to believe. No one in this world is born truly evil, many turn to the wrong side because no one helped them and it was a means to an end, or perhaps they lost their way because no one was there to help them. When i saw you that day I saw someone who was given a second chance by the world, and I chose to help you because I wanted to. Now you will decide what to do with that chance, Ichiji."
Everything was silent as Koby awaited Ichiji's answer.
"Thank you. I choose to stay here with you and Miriam."
Koby's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he smiled. He felt his heart beat faster at the smile he received in return. Koby felt his heart stop as Ichiji pulled him closer and rested his forehead against Koby's.
"Please, I want to become a good older brother and i want to apologize to Sanji and be able to help fix the others. I don't want to go back to being father's puppet."
"I'll help you every step of the way."
For a moment, the two just stayed in that position salty tears dripping onto the couch, and their breath mingling. The two came closer until a creak was heard in the hallway. The two looked at eachother with the silent agreement to talk about that later, but first, they had to tend to Miriam.
Thats all folks! If anyone wants me to ill write more of this au later! Now i didn't even know this ship was a thing till two days ago (You two know who you are) and i found it thru someone i follow! I hope ya'll enjoyed my silly lil story!
TW for violence, I guess? Also, weird, I'm posting twice in a day :V If you don't follow me anywhere other than here, you probably don't know that I'm back i...
WHEW! I got this done in one day aaa!! For a bit of backstory on it, read the description of the video. ^^ Here’s some of my favorite frames!
