platonic! bertholdt x annie, RBA, slight hitchannie but isn’t the main focus, bertholdt kinda has a romantic partner (you can imagine it as you 🤭) but it’s not the main focus
modern au, high school au, crackfic but not really, annie has comphet, bertholdt is jokingly using the phrase ‘ur so in there’ not seriously lol, also im not a lesbian so im sorry if this isn’t totally accurate to the experience for queer women 😭, i just feel that annie would have romantic feelings for women lol
a/n - i sent this idea to another blog before and just now writing it so if that blog sees this randomly, hi 👋🏽 im the anon who sent you this scenario heehee
The air feels so much more crisp after a school event.
Football games, school dances, morning of a field trip.
Annie can’t find the reason why she came here. She feels awkward in the dress she’s wearing and she’s not even wearing the right shoes. She didn’t even know there were designated shoes for certain outfits until Pieck told her she looked like the protagonist of an old Disney channel show from 2008. All jokes of course.
Annie never lets it get to her. But right now, she is a 16 years old girl in a dress too tight around her growing body and in her old dirtied tennis shoes she wears everyday. Never has it ever occurred to her that looking like an old Disney channel star was a bad thing. Annie has never felt ugly, or pretty for that matter, in her life until now. And it is the most excruciating thing she has ever experienced. Ugly doesn’t even begin to describe how she feels. The eyes of her peers she never cared about are all of a sudden all on her and suddenly she has every reason to care about them now. Her hair is in a low bun and the only makeup she has on is lip balm.
It is homecoming night. The gymnasium has been turned into a starry night in Paris. Armin Arlert had been stressed about it the weeks leading up to the dance. Complaining to Mikasa in their shared history class how it seems like no one apart of the leadership committee actually wants to stick to the theme this year. Annie just felt stressed out listening to him. Perhaps this is the reason why Annie said yes to him when he had asked her to be his date for homecoming, perhaps this is the reason why she’s even in the old sweaty gym anyways outside of school hours.
She wasn’t planning to go. School events weren’t really her scene. But Armin, sweet old Armin who is practically a parents wet dream, needed a date. He practically deserved this just for somehow turning the old sweaty, stinky gymnasium into a romantic Parisian night sky. Who was she to say no? Armin was already on his way to earning the class presidency and later in life, he’ll probably earn the real thing. Compared to herself, quiet, drawn into the background, made to be forgotten - Armin could possibly be the best thing for her. When he asked her out to be his homecoming date, she tried to imagine a life with him, that this date would go really well and they’ll be boyfriend-girlfriend, high school sweethearts. They’d go off to different colleges, maybe go through a weird separation, but eventually find their ways back to each other, get married, have a few kids, grow old together - the whole shindig. The key word is tried though, she tried to think about it working; something in her can’t bring herself to even muster an image of it.
Dread stirs inside her as she realizes she might’ve been stood up. Well, technically she wasn’t, as she did arrive to the event with Armin in hand. But he was nowhere to be found, as he was running around trying to prevent his perfect homecoming dance turning into a disaster. Not only does she feel ugly, but now she feels embarrassed by the fact that she came to this stupid dance for no real reason. She could’ve said no and it wouldn’t have made any difference. She should’ve realized it beforehand. Of course the head of leadership would be busy at a school dance he was in charge of. She wants to cry, she feels stupid about it. It’s so stupid how badly she wants to cry right now. This stupid insignificant dance has done emotional damage to her own being.
Annie’s never felt this alone in her life. Some stupid song is playing and people are moshing around the star football player Reiner Braun as they lift him into the air, or as she knows him, the guy who she used to beat up when they were kids. She watches from a distance, twinges of nostalgia tugging at her heart at the sight of her old friend being celebrated for once in his life. She knew how his home life was and he knew how hers was; they have virtually nothing in common except not liking their home lives. But hey, at least Reiner Braun is dancing tonight and Annie Leonhart is in the corner.
Hitch from her Math class is there too. She’s jumping and shouting with the rest of the crowd, celebrating her old friend. She has her heels in her right hand and she has this big smile on her face and doesn’t feel embarrassed about taking a high school dance this serious, probably from the booze or probably because she’s still in high school, or probably because she didn’t have a bad home life holding her back. I bet Hitch doesn’t feel ugly, Annie thinks.
She can’t feel ugly looking like how she looks right now, at this moment; under the fake starry lights in fake sweaty gym Paris, her gums are showing as she smiles this big toothy smile and her eyes are crinkled like crescent moons, and the baby pink of her dress just further extenuates her whole entire being; this is what beauty is, Annie thinks - a girl laughing and dancing.
Hitch catches Annie staring at her, and her smile just gets even wider as she keeps her eyes on the quiet girl from her math class. Annie returns her eyes and just continues to watch her dance, and she feels a little awkward about it but it sure does beat watching Armin and Jean trying to keep the cardboard Eiffel Tower upright.
Annie doesn’t know much about Hitch. All she knows about her are all the observations she’s made while sitting behind her in Math this school year. How she’s often scolded and told that this isn’t a beauty salon every time she reapplies her lip combo, and how she still continues to do whatever she pleases, how she always has ‘tea to spill’ as she calls it to Mina (Annie secretly listens), how she always plays games on her laptop instead of taking notes, and how she often smiles at Annie when she catches her glance in the hallway, and even if they never talked outside of math class, their conversations being limited to geometry, she still thinks to smile at her, pulling at Annie’s heart, and that’s gotta mean something.
Oh god.
Annie can feel her heart in her throat.
She runs to the nearest exit for a breath of fresh air but instead, runs into a slightly disheveled Bertholdt as he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s been doing nothing but smoke and wait for a drunk Reiner to be done so he can finally go home.
Bertholdt is a bit frightened by Annie’s abrupt appearance, hiding his cigarette in the process thinking Annie was going to be a staff member.
“You scared me!” Bertholdt sits back down against the hood of his dad’s car.
Annie calms down at the sight of her childhood friend. Bertholdt hiding outside makes her feel less bad about her hiding in the corner while their childhood friend gets all the glory. At least they’re both losers.
Annie doesn’t say anything to Bertholdt but goes and sits with him.
“Can I get a cigarette?”
Bertholdt looks at Annie a little surprised. He carefully takes out a cigarette for her, making sure to not mess up the formation, and gives it to her.
Annie puts the cigarette in between her lips, not taking her eyes off the double doors separating her and Hitch.
“Light.”
Bertholdt takes out a candle lighter out of his pocket to light Annie’s cigarette, Annie looks down at the enormous lighter and looks to Bertholdt for an explanation.
“Sorry,” he says while trying to fit the candle lighter into the pocket of his suit, “I’ve been outside this whole time and my lighter ran out of fluid.”
“I’m so fucked Bertholdt.” Annie says, her eyes solemnly closing for a moment. “I’m so insanely fucked.” her sad cerulean eyes open back up, looking at those dreadful double gym doors again.
Bertholdt’s eyebrows furrow in worry. This isn’t the Annie he knows, the Annie who he’s known since they were 7, the Annie who can only express herself through labored sighs and punching Reiner, the Annie who he hasn’t had a proper conversation with since the summer and has made it her lifeline mission to completely ignore the two boys who’s she somehow manages to create a meaningful friendship with. What could fuck up the Annie Leonhardt, who Bertholdt hasn’t even seen angry, let alone sad, let alone happy, this bad to the point where she is expressing her fucked up feelings to an old childhood friend?
Hitch, Hitch from math class is what fucks her up, Hitch and her stupid fucking moshing is what’s fucking Annie up, Hitch and her lip combo, Hitch and her stupid gossip, Hitch and her stupid smile.
“Uhhhh..” Bertholdt doesn’t really know what to say as he starts looking at anything else but Annie, “did Armin do something?” he asks, knowing she went to this dance with Armin in hand. He doesn’t know what else could fuck up her night like this, he hasn’t talked to her in months and he’s desperately looking for answers.
“No. I wish he did.”
“Well what didn’t he do?” Bertholdt still doesn’t know what to say or how to comfort his old friend. He’s literally searching up on his phone how to comfort an old friend and typing out Reddit right afterwards because he doesn’t have the time to read PsychologyToday.com’s whole ass article.
“He did nothing.”
“I’m sorr-“
“He literally did nothing. He was just running around trying to make sure that the fucking lights didn’t go out and the speakers wouldn’t malfunction. As soon as we came into the gym, he’s running right to Jean fucking Kierstein to lecture him about whatever the fuck those leadership nerds even worry about.” Annie is starting to shake and tear up a bit. Bertholdt awkwardly places his large hand on her shoulder, literally doesn’t even try to soothe her, just places his hand on her shoulder.
“I feel so fucking stupid. I don’t even know why I said yes to go to this dance with him just so he can run around doing whatever the fuck he’s doing. I don’t even know him like that.” Annie holds her head in her hands, knowing damn well it isn’t Armin turning her into a crying mess.
“All I did was stand in the fucking corner while the ‘star quarterback’ Reiner Braun was having the time of his life.” Annie is just now finding things to be mad at, trying her hardest to avoid these feelings she can’t possibly be having right now. She knows she’s not mad at Reiner or even Armin, but that foreign ache in heart is trying to find someone to blame.
“Is it Reiner you’re upset about?” Bertholdt softly asks.
Annie doesn’t respond as she quietly cries into her hands.
“I get how you feel. I know me, you and Reiner haven’t been close friends since freshmen year but I really did miss when we were all close. Now all I talk to is Reiner. Sometimes it feels like I don’t even know Reiner.” Bertholdt mindlessly says, his thoughts drifting back to when it was just them three, unburdened by the possibility of becoming strangers, old stories to tell their future children about. He starts to ponder about the old days, when the three of them were still kids and had all the time for each other. Now, Reiner is being celebrated for the star athlete he is and the pasts of his childhood is outside, smoking fakedeep cigarettes and talking about their feelings. It’s gayer than Annie.
“But honestly,” he starts to confess, “I don’t think Reiner really knows me either. And Annie,” his eyes flicker to her, “i don’t think I even know you, Annie. We haven’t talked in a while.” Bertholdt said without thinking, the words slipping out as if they’ve been waiting for the perfect moment. Deep inside he knows they’re outgrowing each other; he knows that the versions of Reiner and Annie who would spend weekly nights at his house whenever their parents became too much to deal with are long gone. The versions of themselves who knew each others deepest secrets and the most embarrassing, the versions of themselves that they’ve only given permission to each other to see; the versions of themselves they’re not sure other people would ever get the pleasure to witness.
And yet, Annie and Reiner weren’t the only ones who’ve changed over the years, meek and timid Bertholdt has changed as well. And he at least has the courage to try and keep this lifelong friendship lifelong. He owes it not to just himself but to them. He knows what they have is special, a bond that transcends lifetimes and he wants to keep it that way.
“I mean the new and growing and developed Annie! I’d love to get to know new Annie!” Bertholdt frantically explains just in case Annie understood what he said the wrong way.
“It’s not Reiner, or even Armin, it’s Hitch.” Annie admits, her voice heavy trying to move past her throat, leaving a guttural admission; Annie hasn’t fully comprehended what Bertholdt was trying to say but it made her feel comfortable enough to show Bertholdt who she really is, what she’s realized tonight.
“Dreyse?”
“Yeah.” Annie sighs.
“Well what about Hitch-”
“I like girls, Bertholdt.” Annie finally spits it out. These foreign feelings that slowly crept up to her just from seeing Hitch Dreyse dance has manifested into this very moment, where she’s quite literally sobbing into the palms of her hands because she thinks it’s the worse thing in the world - to love a woman and to be loved by a woman. Tears only rush out once more once she realizes it feels so right, that it’s something she could actually dream about, something that’s so natural to her.
Bertholdt doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t really equipped to deal with situations like this. Now he’s searching up on Reddit how to react when your former friend comes out to you. But school Wi-Fi always sucks, and Reddit isn’t loading. So he says the next the best thing.
“I mean, I like girls too.” Bertholdt admits like it’s wrong for him to like women. He’s a bit shy about it as he bashfully rubs the back of his head thinking about a certain girl he’s been texting back and forth for the whole entirety of the dance he’s been outside.
Annie looks up at him, a little sick from the cigarette smell in the palm of her hand and her light eyebrows furrowed while her eyes widened in awe of Bertholdt’s awkwardness.
“You’re so brave Bertholdt.” Annie says sarcastically and chuckles softly, a light smile gracing her lips.
Bertholdt returns her smile, his nerves relieved as he suspected his friend felt better.
“Me and Reiner were gonna go get some burgers after this. You wanna join us? We can talk about girls together?” Bertholdt places his large hand behind his even bigger head, rubbing the back of his head bashfully.
“Please,” Annie doesn’t mean for it to sound desperate, but she’s just now realizing how hungry she is and she misses her two only friends.
Bertholdt’s lips curl into a small smile, subtly changing the subject just so Annie won’t feel too bad, “Yeah, now we’ll have to wait on Reiner’s fat ass, you know how he is.”
Annie scoffs, “don’t get me started, he was crowd surfing when I was in there. I’m not sure how they could even hold his fat ass up.”
Bertholdt lets out a calming laugh.
For a moment, they sit in a comfortable silence. The night air feels cooler now, less suffocating, full of hope and wonder similar to the morning air of a field trip.
“Thanks, Bertl,” Annie says suddenly, her voice calmer than he’s ever heard it.
He looks at her, surprised, “For what?”
She wants to say some corny shit like ‘for accepting her,’ but Annie has expressed herself far too much than she would like too tonight.
“For being here,” she says like it’s second nature, her gaze still fixed on those damned double doors. “and for staying outside with me while Reiner gets all the glory.”
Bertholdt looks back at up, “Yeah, well he’s deserved it.” He praised his best friend, compensating for calling him a fat ass a few minutes prior.
“At least we’re losers together.”
“Holy shit, is it fucking hot in there!” Reiner comes rushing out like he’s escaped hellfire, huffing and puffing as he put his hands on his knees.
“Finally, it took you long enough,” Bertholdt stands up, going up to Reiner to pat him on the back. “Come on, we’re starving.”
“We’re?” Reiner looks up to find the we’re in question and finds Annie awkwardly looking back at him, a little frightened from his sudden appearance and intrusion of her little moment of vulnerability. Reiner notices her eyes a little worn out, like she’s been crying. He doesn’t say anything. He’s just glad she was here with them.
“Oh hi Annie,” he cheeses at her, “you’re coming with us?” he questioned, hoping for a yes.
“Yup,” she gets off from the hood of Bertholdt’s dad’s car, and makes her way towards her designated seat she used to always sit in (behind the passenger seat). Reiner and Bertholdt follow her.
Bertholdt begins to play the static noise he calls music and Reiner tries to change it but Bertholdt keeps his foot down about how it’s his car, his music. Reiner offers to pay for gas and Bertholdt complies, but as soon as Reiner plays ‘Better Now’ by Post Malone, he immediately revokes his radio rights, even passing on free gas. Annie would rather listen to the static noise Bertholdt calls music than Top 40.
She casts one last look at the double doors from the back of her window, and she solemnly thinks about Hitch and her stupid smile, Hitch and her stupid lip combo, Hitch and her stupid dancing. Annie still doesn’t know what to do with all of her feelings. But for now, eating burgers with her two childhood best friends and talking about girls together will have to do.
And somehow, that’s more than enough.
“I don’t know man, I think I really have a shot with Historia. Even Ymir thinks so.” Reiner says to Bertholdt. He’s eating Annie’s leftover fries she never finishes as Bertholdt and Annie give each other a knowing look. A look that doesn’t know whether they should let Reiner know that Historia is a girl kisser.
Ymir and Bertholdt are a lot closer than some people think, and there’s only a few lesbians in this whole entire school for Annie to flock to so she keeps her options known.
“You’re so in there, dude.” Bertholdt chides Reiner, not wanting to out Historia while also attempting to encourage his best friend. He’ll ponder whether this is fucked up or not later when he’s about to go to sleep.
“What about you, with your little thing going on with that 53 year old man?”
Annie lets out an unexpected laugh that would originally be a huff through her nose in the last, not even letting Reiner know she thought he was funny at times. Reiner looks at her, a surprised smile on his face.
“Shut up,” Bertholdt retorts, “53 year old man or not, I’m still in it.” He jokes, looking down at the goodnight text from the girl he’s been talking to the whole night. His eyes glint in love, sending her a goodnight text back.
“Yeah, me too.” Annie says sheepishly, a bit embarrassed.
Reiner looks to her laughing a bit, smiling as this is the first time he’s ever seen Annie embarrassed. “Who’s the lucky boy?”he slightly laughed.
Bertholdt begins to laugh at the mention of a boy.
“Girl actually.” Annie admitted in an elated tone, contrasting her usual deadpan nature.
Bertholdt gave Annie a surprised look, a proud smile decorating his face as he was happy she was more comfortable about who she was.
“Oh? Then who’s the lucky girl?” Reiner has the same smile on his face, not even questioning Annie’s sexuality, like he knew this whole time.
Annie slightly laughs to herself, a big smile painted on her own face, her porcelain skin blushed and warm, “I…was lying, there is no girl,” Annie’s ears perk up at the sound of the door opening, Hitch Dreyse coming in with her own group of friends. That toothy grin is painted onto her face and her curls are starting to unravel out of her bun, her face is flushed from the bottle of booze someone had snuck in and from how much she danced tonight; “Yet.” she finished her sentence.
“Weirdo, weirdo, weirdo,” Reiner jokingly chants at Annie’s lie.
Annie flips him off and shakes her head unseriously, “Shut up dumbass.”
Bertholdt audibly laughs at Reiner and Annie’s bickering, shaking his head in disapproval.
“Oh god you’re so in there, Annie.” he joked, adding his own 2 cents to their banter, already knowing who she was talking about. Reiner and Annie laugh at Bertholdt’s comment.
He missed this; his childhood comes back to him in a burger joint after homecoming, he’s trying to make it poetic but all he can think is how much he’s missed this.
So he takes the long way home when he’s dropping off both Reiner and Annie. They’re in his dad’s old minivan and it smells like the time Reiner threw up in the back seat and all the windows are down. All 3 of them are sharing Reiner’s dying penjamin and Ribs by Lorde is playing. It’s one of those nights where summer creeps back into fall and it’s warm, and the wind feels good against her skin, and their old hometown of Liberio starts to look too good to leave. It’s the way everything starts to look like an oil painting when you’re looking out a car window; with the night sky being the canvas, emphasizing the street lights blending together in warm hues, and the familiar houses they’ve walked/drove past their whole entire lives combines into an array of colors that paints nostalgia. Annie can feel tears in her eyes and it makes her feel free and it’s pathetic but Hitch Dreyse would never feel pathetic and she looked so beautiful tonight and she loves her friends.
Her face begins to warm up as Bertholdt slowly pulled up to her house, driving slower than usual, not wanting this night to end.
“Thanks for the ride.” Annie smiled at both him and Reiner. She left the car, a bit awkward coming down from her high.
“Annie,” Bertholdt called out to her. She looks back, Bertholdt and Reiner’s eyes being red from the dying penjamin. She smiles, just knowing they’re gonna say the stupidest shit she’s ever heard.
“We’re proud of you, Annie.” Bertholdt told her. “Thank you for telling us that you’re gay.” Reiner puts his hands together and bows his head at her.
“Yeah, yeah.” She rolls her eyes at them. She began to walk away.
“Annie!” Bertholdt called out to her one more time, driving up so she can hear him.
Annie looks back once again.
“Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
Annie chuckles lightly, “Okay,” she waves him off, “now go home already freaks.”
Bertholdt and Reiner wave goodbye and Annie sees them drive off. She began to make her way towards her home, entering quietly. It’s close to 12 am and Annie’s glad she wore her dirtied sneakers instead of the “right shoes.” She’s a bit bloated from the burgers and the girl talk, her dress a bit tight and uncomfortable. She looks in the mirror as she got ready for bed, her eyes a bit red and a small smile still decorating her usual stoic features. She’s still a bit high off of Reiner’s pen and she takes in her features.
And for the first time, she feels pretty. Maybe it’s the way the light redness and slight hood in her eyes accentuates the blue in them, maybe it’s the way her aquiline nose hooks so elegantly, maybe it’s the way she feels tonight, maybe it’s the way Hitch smiles at her.
She feels like an old Disney movie protagonist and her arc of loving and accepting herself has come to an end. She’s in bed and she’s looking up at her ceiling, no longer feeling stuck, like she wants the ceiling to crash onto her, and she just thinks about going off to college, getting a job that would be enough, creating a life with Hitch, meeting new people and having weekly dinners with Reiner and Bertholdt. She thinks about adopting children, and loving them to the point where they’ll always feel like this and never have to feel shame.
And Annie takes the first step.
She pulls out her phone, enters the passcode, goes into the Instagram account she forgot about, and she goes to @/hitchdr3yse, the first account that popped up in her search history. She’ll feel embarrassed about it in the morning, but she quickly follows her, watches her story, pausing at a mirror selfie she took of her in her dress, and she almost swipes up to send this message but she decides against it, because than she’ll feel really embarrassed.
But she has no reason to be embarrassed. Because when she hastily sends Hitch a message: hey, I saw you at the dance and I wanted to say you looked really..” she wanted to say beautiful, gorgeous, the light of her life, but than she realizes it may be too creepy so she goes with “you looked really cool. I was wondering if you would wanna hangout sometime?” and when she hits send, she sits up quickly and puts her face warm with blush into her pillow, and screams.
But than she hears the joyful ping of Instagram, matching the smile on her lips when she reads hitch’s text message: ‘OMGGGG YESSSSS!!!!:D’
And Annie likes her message, and tells her she’ll see her in geometry on Monday. She takes a quick screenshot of her text with Hitch, and sends it to the group chat labeled, ‘zaaaa boyzzzzzzzz’ that hasn’t been active since the summer.
She sends the screenshot, and she feels a little shy when Reiner and Bertholdt read it. It instantly receives both hearts from both of them, and she breathes through her nose and lets out a chuckle from their responding text messages.
A/n: I haven’t written in a while so I’m sorry if this sucks
LEVI
-When he first met you, he already knew you had issues with your family even if you hadn't told him, he'd awkwardly sit alone as you excuse yourself to bellow into the phone with someone he presumed was your family member.
-Even though he wants so badly to tell your parents to fuck off and drag you away from them he doesn't, he knows you wouldn't want him to cause a scene so he sits by your side encouragingly, his palm going to your back during tense moments.
-When you told him about your past abuse, he was furious, but let on to his shock and his shock only, afraid he'd scare you. Levi is patient, reserved and quiet. However when you come back from a lone visitation he previously encouraged you against with a tear-stained face and a bruised wrist he doesn't hold back anymore.
-The cold in his stare was startling but he reassured you that he'd deal with them, without any violence as promised.
-and so he leaves you to lay in bed with your favourite plushies and pillows- after making sure you cleaned up and hydrated yourself. Your heavy eyelids ached to shut. Finally affirming that you were safe now, you allowed yourself to melt into the mattress.
-Three hours pass by and you find yourself waking up to an arm hooked around your waist. Turning around to face him, you realised he had arrived without waking you up. But you needed to know what happened.
-Luck seemed to be on your side as he began to stir awake- most likely due to your soft movements.
-Without having to ask, he nuzzled closer and mumbled against your hair before planting a soft kiss atop. "They can't hurt you anymore."
EREN:
-Eren gets easily pissed off as it is, imagine if he found out someone had hurt you- let alone for your entire life?!
-It wasn't odd for him to get ticked off anytime he sees people treating you wrong, something as small as a glare or a disgusted question makes him threaten them. And believe me- it's happened so often that NO ONE EVEN LOOKS AT YOU FUNNY 😭😭😭😭 mainly because he drags it on so much
-So- knowing his bad temper, you hid it from him. Not that you felt bad for your family or anything- you just didn't want Eren to throw himself into any more meaningless problems.
-However, the family meet up was so bad this time you rushed home, soaking wet from the violent rain, the second you slammed the door shut in your shared home, Eren peeped out from the kitchen, halting the humorous greeting and replacing it with a concerned frown.
He couldn't tell whether you were crying or if it was the rain that got into your eye
-Either way he rushed to get you into the shower, promising you that he'd sprint back with warm clothes and a heated towel after you were done.
-After you finished, he swaddled you up in a fluffy blanket, realising your eyes were still bloodshot. He tilted your chin, observing your face. "You don't look too well, is everything okay?" He asked. "I mean- yes you have been in the rain but- one doesn't get sick this fast."
-you nudged out of his palms and nuzzled against him, knowing a simple "are you okay?" Would have triggered the waterworks.
-The second you start sniffling he's questioning you like a mad man. "Why are you crying? Was it another bastard? Who did it?! Do you want me to deal with them?"
-However he stops the interrogation at the realisation that you're now hyperventilating. He knows that all you need right now is comfort so he rubs your back and whispers reassuringly into your ear.
-"Shhh, Shh," he gently rocked with your quivering frame, craning his head down to peck your cheek, emitting pure warmth onto you. "Hush little Y/n don't say a word, papi Eren will make sure your bullies will hurt. Then he'll pick their brow hair one by one, punch them so hard they'll run to their mum"-
-That lullaby was so bad it broke you into laughter, "Papi Eren?" You scoffed, your voice stuffed up from the crying.
-To his surprise, you perked with a teary smile- a happy smile nonetheless. His green eyes softened down at you, "You know it, babygorl"- he smothered your face in sloppy pecks, making you squirm.
-That night he took advantage of your mood and made you spill out what had happened to you, the reason and who caused it. He listened intently, nodding on without showing any of his repressed anger.
-Two days after, you hadn't realised why your family member was being so nice to you, acting as if your presence was a danger to their life. You shrugged it off, grateful they had gotten off your ass.
BERTHOLDT
-Just a gentle giant that wouldn't hurt anyone unless it was a life or death situation, you couldn't possibly imagine weighing him down with your familial issues.
-Unbeknownst to you, he really doesn't mind :( plus he can low-key sense you don't come from a great family. Ever since he's known you, you've seen beaten down, showing signs of a low self esteem. Bertholdt may be silent but he's no door mat. And he wants you to be less harder on yourself.
-When the time came and he finally proposed to you, you were over the moon, sharing an immense feeling of excitement. However, that all popped when he hesitantly asked about your family, why he's never met them.
-You opened up about your past with one of your siblings, and how your entire family takes his side no matter how fucked up the situation is- and how you were basically exiled from your own family.
-Out of all the ways he could react, you didn't know he'd tear up at the long explanation of what happened during those years. He couldn't bare the thought of a child Y/n, hiding away from her parents, her siblings, friends- completely isolated.
-He very gently pulled you in and sobbed with his chin resting atop of your head, his slender fingers raking at the back of your scalp. "I'll never treat you like that, you know Y/n? I'd never isolate you."
-"Thanks Bert... we'll make sure our kids don't face the same fate. Won't we?"
-"Are you kidding?! Of course I'd never let that happen! Ever...!"
REINER
-Just a huge emotional teddy bear, he'll never outright yell or get aggressive in front of you, he angrily grunted near Gabi once and noticed her flinch, he felt so guilty he never revealed any anger around any women in his life.
-However the second you go on a rant about why you don't see your own family anymore, he instantly regrets asking. All that guilt for being so blind to the fact your parents sugarcoated things when he came around to visit, just so he wouldn't catch on- yet the second he leaves they'd treat you like trash all over again. He regretted even believing the texts your family sent about you "just not liking them"
-The past he had no clue of now weighed heaviest in his chest. The last thing that tipped him over was when your lips uncontrollably quivered into an agonised frown. Without a second thought, he pulled you into his arms, swaying your bodies together.
-"It's okay, dove, just cry it all out, alright?"
-All his words of reassurance are accompanied by warm touches, brushing your hair back to kiss at your cheek and jaw, his calloused his thumb swiping at the salty tears
-When he notices that you're tiredly slumping against him, he carries you to bed and coddles you. "Do you want me to do anything about it? You know... them bothering you?"
-"No, it's fine... I'm okay with just ignoring them."
-"Okay... If you're sure..." He gently smiles, "I'm sorry," he pecked your forehead, "For even thinking that they were the right ones."
JEAN
-Eren has some serious anger issues but compared to Jean they're nothing. Especially after he grew to the size of a giant.
-Your mood was down especially this month and Jean was tired of you brushing his questions off, so, he (He really didn't want to do this but he was getting worried) went through your phone.
-The only person you had been texting was himself and someone else with a profile pic that made it clear it was your parent. During his mini invasion in your chats, his curiosity vanished into pure guilt.
-You had no idea why but he was being more clingy, talking to you even whilst he was supposed to be busy.
-"Jean, don't you have things to do?" You asked as he crawled onto your lap. "What? Nothing is more important than you. Y/n."
You cocked a brow, "What's going on? Why are you being so cheesy?"
-He just dodges your question and rubs your arm up and down. "You know, we could go for a small holiday this summer, we don't have to visit your family if you don't want to"-
-"what makes you say that?" You cocked your brow, suspicious
-"I- fuck- I just... I can tell that they're not... treating you the best, okay? And I know I shouldn't have butt into your business but it hurts watching you mope around because of people that don't deserve you."
-Far too busy to question how he even found out, you teared up at the reassurance you longed for. You never knew how to bring it up, it was like a miracle. "It's fine, Jean. I'd much rather be around you than them."
-"Good." He pecked your forehead, "Because they don't deserve you."
ARMIN
-Armin grew up only around his grandfather, a kind yet tired man, there was no family drama during his upbringing so he has no idea what to do when he's faced with the fact that your parents are trying their hardest to split him up with you.
-In fact, he was close to the decision of letting you go. Right after your dad pulled him to the side during an apology get-together and calmly explained why he wasn't fit enough to be a part of the family.
-You caught on to his insecurity later that night and asked him what was up. Yet even when he kept assuring you that nothing was wrong, you knew, you had your suspicions on what your father might have told him.
-So you sat next to Armin and held his hands to your lap. His thoughts of leaving back-trotted during the tell of your childhood, the things you went through and why you couldn't care less about the family bs or who or who isn't a part of your last name. "I'd ditch them in a second if I wanted to, Armin. They were the ones that kept apologising and begging for me to forgive them."
-"N-No! Don't do that!- I mean, we can settle this the calm way, right?"
-"Psh, of course, I can. If they can't accept you, I'm not allowing them to come to my wedding. The baby shower or any celebration after that."
ERWIN
-While the fandom portrays him as cold heartless and careless, there is one thing he doesn't stand. And that's unnecessary violence. He expected you to have a strict, uptight family but he'd never have seen your dads palm fling towards your face.
-Before you could sense the painfully numb sensation you had somehow gotten used to, mild gasps scattered around the room. To your horror, Erwin's hand was tightly gripping onto your fathers wrist. (Erwin please slap him back omg <3)
-"There's no need for that, sir." He let's go of his now red wrist, his face blank despite the scowl that etched into your fathers wrinkly face. (Fuck he didn't slap him back 💔💀)
-"Who are you to even"-
-"It doesn't take a genius to know what you're doing is wrong. I don't want to hear or see this kind of behaviour from you again, sir. Have I made myself clear?"
-At this point your dads jaw is on the floor, this man, who is younger than him, is talking to him as if he's a stupid child. Dare I say, he's so flabbergasted all he can do is glare, his face red with rage. Erwin on the other hand, calmly stares back. He's patient and that's why you love him so much. His patience is what pisses people off so much.
-"I'll be taking my leave now, darling?" He turns to you and motions towards the door, his hand going to your back to lead you out. It's eerily silent.
ZEKE
-As someone who grew up in an emotionally abusive family, Zeke is enraged when he finds out about the abuse or as you call it, 'sticky situation'. He firmly keeps a straight face but impatiently attacks you with questions.
"And you think this is okay for them to do?"
"No I'm not attacking your dad, Y/n I'm just saying that this isn't okay!"
"You need to do something about this!" He exasperated before gently grabbing your arm and rolling the sleeves up to reveal old scars and bruises, "I don't want to see any more of these, I won't let it happen."
-Honestly, throughout all of the years you had lied to yourself that everything going on in your home was normal, there's no use in crying or trying to change a situation that is completely unchangeable. However, all the things Zeke had told you somehow removed the shackles in your mind, freeing every load of sadness you locked up all these years and turning into a sense of anger, resentment towards those who hurt you
-He securely holds you for a good while. And though he is glad you've finally cracked open and allowed yourself to cry, he's not letting go of what happened. He would have let it go if the abuse had stopped after your teenage years but- it hadn't- even in your adulthood! With what audacity?
-The next time you visit family Zeke makes it clear he doesn't find your fathers demeaning humour funny, glaring at him and making sure you're by his side the entire time. You knew he wouldn't do anything stupid but every time your dad spoke it always felt like his nerves twitched. (He reassured you before this that if he saw anyone raise their hand towards you he wouldn't hold back, and he meant it.)
PORCO
-Straight-up punch in the face.
-The very sound of you shrieking or whimpering triggers something ugly inside of him, a pang of concern, fear and hatred towards whatever caused it. And when you married him, he vowed he'd protect you- even if it meant slugging your own family member in the jaw.
-He didn't want to scare or upset you but he wouldn't allow them to cross such a line, no matter who they were to you. How could he? A slap to your face is like a slap to his own.
-Instead of being upset, you initiate the exit, gently grabbing his sleeve and leading him to his car outside. "Well..." you sighed, "That was awkward."
-"I'm sorry." He mumbled, "I just- He had no right to"-
-"I know Pock. Thanks, but now they'll bite my head off about you." You could barely look up, he could tell you were afraid. "Y/n, hey... look at me." He tilted your chin up, "You know I'd never let them do anything else to you, you're safe with me. Do you understand?"
-Throat throbbing too much, you nodded hastily. However it was too late as your eyebrows crinkled into a frown, tears slipping out before he tightly engulfed you in his strong arms. "You're going to be okay, angel." He reassured, peppering your hairline with kisses.
HANGE
-Smart yet oblivious, she had no clue about the thick atmosphere you had going on with your siblings and parents. Instead she was figuring out how to eat the corn cob without getting it stuck in her teeth and stuck to picking them with her fork.
-It almost happened in an instant in her eyes, a moment that yanked her out of her serenity. How the sound of a hard hand slammed against the soft cheek she loved leaving her saliva on.
-Her chair screeched the second she abruptly sprung up. Her clueless expression snapping into a scowl. "Y/n!- hey!" She stumbled as you ran off crying. "What the fuck?!" She spat.
-"Sorry!-" one of them stuttered, holding onto the dumb fuck that hit you, "he just loses his temper fast."
-"Who gives a shit?! What makes you think you can just- ugh!" She ditches the argument she knows would never be understood by knuckleheads like that and decides to chase after you. Getting you away from these people is her first priority.
-She finds you crying at the front porch, almost frustrated you can't unlock the car without her. "Hey! Y/n baby," Hange gently smoothed her hands around your back and to your shoulder, "Calm down. We're going to go home, I- or I can go back inside and beat them up for you? Here look I can"- before she could run off to beat your family you snatch her wrist and tearily shake your head. "Home."
-Whatever her S/O wants tbh. But she 100% would have gone back to beat them up, as long as you wanted her to. And she could.
PIECK
-Someone as kind and gentle as Pieck could never fathom abuse of any kind. Especially onto children. She could tell by the way you explained what had happened, it wasn't the first time.
-All she could do at that moment was comfort you while giving you your space. Her warm hand ran up and down your back as her calming voice shushed your frantic crying.
-She knew it wasn't enough to explain how you never deserved any of this, that your younger self would be proud of how strong you are. There's absolutely no need to give in to your stupid parents narcissistic tendencies.
-Pieck suggested using a rock technique against them. (It means being boring and completely agreeing with everything someone says or just ignoring them. And as nice as it would have been if the rock method was just throwing rocks at your bullies, it doesn't mean that😭)
MIKASA
-Be it the president, Kim Namjoon, the devil himself. Mikasa would NEVER allow anyone to lay a finger on you and in the past she has taken extreme measures to ensure this and if she has to take those measures against your parents, she won't hesitate.
-"They said no." She gritted her teeth, "Leave them the fuck alone."
-She wouldn't have had to butt in if the person who stood up had tried to tower over you threateningly. The attention is averted onto Mikasa, and all of a sudden she's the main target. "I'm their wife. It's my business as much as it is yours. But you don't force anything onto her, got that?"
-Another loud argument ensues and you're long forgotten, Mikasa can handle herself extremely well but she can sense your discomfort. And as much as she wants to give them all a piece of her mind, she escorts you out, shooting one last glare.
MICHE
-Another calm one. After getting married, everyone has understood that he just doesn't enjoy talking unless it's of absolute use. However some... mistake this for him being a pushover, a door mat if you will. But that's the complete obvious.
-I mean seriously, the guy looks like your guard dog without meaning to. It's just his nature to constantly appear constipated.
-A family meeting ensues and he tags along because he senses you aren't telling him everything about your life. A guilty part of him nags that the cause may be your family so he tests that theory out.
-Instantly, they prove his theory correct. You're treated like a servant, not a guest, even though you're a grown woman now. "I'll help her." He abruptly said when you were ordered to get up and make coffee.
-He doesn't talk while he arranges the cups as you prepare the drinks. He only listens to the laughter and fun everyone has when you're away doing cHorEs. You notice he's being oddly silent. Not normal silent, rather odd. On top of his bizarre behaviour he suddenly kissed your head. It's just his way of reassuring you without having to say a word and you understand this. But you don't know why he's trying to reassure you.
-it's astounding to how some people can be oblivious to their mistreatment or simply choose to ignore it. You just wanted to get whatever they had to say over and done with so you could leave.
-They finally spit it out after what seemed like ages. Miche didn't really understand the situation but he could tell you were appalled by their suggestion, yelling at them for the first time.
-This gesture was met with rage, as one of your brothers stood up and stomped towards you, shouting about respect and keeping your voice down when speaking to elders. Before he could even process it, you had stood up and shoved your brother away, as if you expected something.
-However, Miche was correct to assume this, as a fistful of your hair yanked you against the table. In a moment of fury, his huge hand hit your attackers head, causing him to clumsily flop to the side. (My wording really isn't helping the seriousness of this issue 😭😭 I haven't written in a while forgive me.)
-he gently helps you up and ignores everyone else, only focusing on getting you to the car so he could take you back home and see if there was any damage to your scalp.
SASHA
-Sasha is always a text or a call away. There's not a second where she stays her ass home so you know if anything happens. Sasha is on speed dial.
-The fights had gotten so bad between you and your sibling that you had barely made it to your room and locked the door before he could get to you and physically hurt you any more.
-Your voice was shaky and clogged from the snot as your finger quivered to her contact, texting her your usual 'S.O.S'
-You spend a few more minutes crying into your knees, until you hear a gentle knock at your window. You snap your head towards the dim light of the sunset blocked by the big head of your girlfriend, holding up a donut back with a big smile.
-However her mindless grin quickly sinks into a frown the second she notices your tear stained face. She thought the S.O.S was for your hunger, not because of the abuse you had previously let her onto.
-You waste no time in opening the window and engulfing her so tight she falls onto your bedroom floor with you. "Sasha!" You shakily shriek into her neck. You needed to explain what happened- you wanted to let it all out but all your throat allowed was an agonising cry.
-"Hey. hey... Y/n..." she gently hugs you back, her expression unusually dim and miserable. She was tired of watching you get hurt and not being able to do much about it. "I promise this won't be for any longer, Y/n... I'll marry you! Both of us will marry! And then we can live on that farm we both dreamed about, I already have it planned out! I promise N/n, I- I won't let this continue."
-Upon hearing her comforting words, you find it in yourself to calm down, smiling sadly at the brunette scattering kisses around your face. "Now. Do you wanna eat these donuts or continue crying about that deformed ogre?"
Special thanks to @moonshineandclearskies for helping me along the way!!
( Latina woman x Eren x Mikasa) and slight X Reiner if you don't skip paragraphs.
𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐒𝐀 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓.
FACE-CLAIM= Alexa Demie on socials.
————————————————————
You always knew that Mikasa Ackerman didn't like you.
From the beginning of Cadet Training Corps, you were spotted out by many people. Or by everyone to be honest. Being the only person besides Mikasa herself, who seemed to be of a different race then everyone else. Unlike Mikasa, you didn't appear to be half of white and half Eastern like she was, you were fully of another race. Well, that's what it looked like.
Most of the attention went to your physical appearance at first, and then it was your work ethic and strength. A quiet person you were, and a lazy one too. You settled on sleeping in later then you were supposed to, and you had to run laps for it everyday.
The first day of training and you were late. Due to what? Purposefully sleeping in late.
Talk about first impression.
It became so often and expected, that Commander Shadis, or Instructor Shadis, had a new awake time for you. Just for you.
Y/N was to wake up exactly 1 hour 30 minutes later than usual. And after she awoke, she was instructed as a form of punishment to run the same number of laps daily.
Plenty claimed you were slacking off, besides your two closest friends—Sasha Braus and Connie Springer. You were deemed lazy, and someone who believed that they were too good to be here.
A certain Cadet, Reiner Braun, referred to you as " spicy." A nasty way to romanticize over your attitude.
Despite your " laziness" you were strong.
Perhaps this strength you had was what kept you from being kicked out by Shadis. Because once you saw something one time, your immediate reaction was to go to bed. Being tiered throughout most of the day, and yearning for sleep. But as soon as the sun settled down and the sky turned dark, you would practise what you learned. You would keep at this for hours, before finally deciding to go to bed.
It was unhealthy, but your didn't care. You were strong, and that's all that mattered.
You exceeded at everything. You won all running exercises and endurance exercises because of your daily morning laps, you were great with the ODM gear, and you were good in combat. Your perfection at everything was enough to make a certain green eyed boy look your way.
Maybe that's how Mikasa's dislike for you started.
—————————————————————
" How did you do that?" The boy asked bewildered at the sight of such power.
Reiner Braun was laying flat on his back, sprawled out from the punch you gave him that seemed to have no effort behind it. You had delivered one of the most powerful punches Eren has ever seen in his life, and that included Mikasa's too—his adopted sister.
You turned to look at the boy. It was Eren Jaeger—Scouts Boy, who you recognized as the boy who liked to disrupt your sleep by fighting and procrastinating.
He was staring at you with wide eyes, curious and in awe.
You raised a brow, " How did I get Reiner on his ass? Nothing much, just a trick I mastered."
You turned to walk away. Figuring you should go find Sasha and Connie, and see what they're up to.
" Feisty," Reiner called you back, slowly rising back up. " Y'know, next time I don't mind you sitting on my face. Helps even better."
You pretended to gag. " You're nasty. Horny little shit."
Reiner sighed as he sat up. " Gotta do what a guys gotta do."
His eyes landed on Eren—his buddy who seemed to be frozen in place.
" Look who's finally decided to come around our dear Hammaz," Reiner teased, watching as Eren's cheeks turned a faint red.
You rose your brow. Looking over at Eren who had a look fixed on Reiner.
" What?" You dumbly asked.
" Nothing princess. Don't stress that pretty little head."
" Fuck you don't call me that."
" She's spicy," Reiner said. Licking his lips.
" But what do you want Eren? Didn't you see what she did to me just now?"
Eren's eyes widened at Reiners words.
" Yeah I did! How did you even do that!? You sent Reiner flying with your finger tips only! You didn't even move your body!"
Reiner crossed his arms at Eren's fanboy moment. " Hammaz isn't as weak as she likes to put on,"
You rolled your eyes, throwing your head back. " I never acted weak. Y'all just assumed I was weak because I decided to sleep in a little later."
You turned your body away from Eren with a shrug. " Anyways Eren, it's just a technique I taught myself. Now if you would excuse me..."
But Eren Jaeger—the Scout's number one fan, didn't want to let it go.
" But wait!"
Turning around with a more annoyed expression, you could see Reiner mouthing something to Eren.
" What." You looked at the boy.
" Teach me please!"
What?
Eren cleared his throat. " If I really want to be a good soldier, I'll have to excel at everything. The Scouts need the best of the best. What you just did....teach me!"
You spared a glance at Reiner, clicking your tongue in the process. He seemed just as shocked from Eren's declaration, but he rose his brow at you tauntingly to see what you would say.
Uncrossing your arms, you looked at Jaeger.
" And what do I get from this?"
Eren pursed his lips, seeming to be thinking hard over your words. After 10 long seconds of you and Reiner looking back at each other expectedly, Eren finally spoke up.
" I have something in mind, I'll tell you after dinner. It will take lots of time though, but it will happen. I swear. Now teach me your techniques! Please—"
" Okay, okay." you cut him off.
You spared a glance towards Sasha and Connie, who were doing the handshake you guys made last night.
" I'll demonstrate now, and teach later. Got it?"
Eren nodded his head understandingly.
You got into your position, angling your body the right way, and you could feel pairs of eyes on you in the moment. Maybe it was Reiners perverted stare, and Eren's attentive one, but never less, lots of people were staring.
You did a mock punch at first. Before doing a second mock, a third mock, and a fourth mock punch. Eren flinched at all of them, and finally, you let your hips twitch, your shoulders stiffen, and you released a powerful one inch punch that sent Eren tumbling back onto the dusty floor.
Reiners impressive claps sounded in the air as he sauntered over to you. " Good job princess—"
" Eren!" A female voice called out.
Eren was still on the floor, groaning and rubbing his back in obvious pain. Then there was a angry and worried Mikasa Ackerman approaching. With a calm but also worried Armin watching from a distance.
She knelt down to Eren's level. Looking over him and holding his head in her hands like a mother would to a child, and aiding him to sit up like he was a baby. You scoffed, a small smile making way to your lips.
You weren't sure what was more embarrassing: Mikasa coddling Eren, or Eren shooing away Mikasa's actions of care.
Either way, you wanted to laugh.
Eren stormed off with a embarrassed and angry face. His mouth making words to you that seemed to be " I'll meet you after dinner Y/N!"
You turned to face Reiner, seeing that Mikasa was now left in the dust, only watching as Eren disappeared into the training cabin.
Feeling the lingering eyes on you, you said the only thing you could think of in your tired state.
" That had nothing to do with me."
But apparently it did.
" Oh oh." Reiner warned.
" Y/N Hamaz right?" Mikasa Ackerman asked in a quiet but firm voice. Her eyes were on you sharply, dark and cold.
You heaved out a slow breath. " It's 'Hammaz'. But yes, you are correct."
" That move you did, I've never seen it before. Do you mind teaching me too?"
She was polite with her tone, but you weren't stupid. You raised a brow at her, your eyes scanning her up and down—letting her know that you were aware of the true meaning of her words.
This was obviously her way of asking to spar —fight—with you. She had done it with Annie Leonheart too. But never less, you nodded your head. Agreeing to fight with Mikasa Ackerman, one of the strongest—if not, the strongest, in this 104th Division.
" Actually, can we save this for tomorrow? I'm kinda tired."
———————————————————
" Eren, where were you?" Mikasa asked. Mikasa was getting a glass of water for the past 15 minutes. Her mind occupied on the days events and the future that holds for her.
She was also thinking of the words Eren had told you when he angrily stormed off during training. He addressed you about something that he wished to say after dinner. Mikasa wasn't obsessed with Eren and what friends he made at all. She wasn't obsessed with his business either, but she was curious. He was the only one she had left, besides Armin—who she classified differently. Mikasa didn't believe that she was codling Eren, she just saw it as protecting him. She's strong, she's more then capable of taking down most the people present in this camp—if not all. In order for her to protect Eren like she wishes, he needs to be in her sight, or she needs to be aware of his actions.
To Mikasa, that wasn't codling.
Mikasa's daze stoped when she heard the exit door open, her senses going on high alert. Immediately, she turned around, but her gaze was meant with Eren.
At this hour?
Eren looked tattered and worn out. Bruises on his skin like he got in a scuffle with grown men.
That was enough to make Mikasa worry.
" Eren! What happened to you?" Mikasa exclaimed in a mere whisper. " Did someone hurt you? What were you even doing at this time of night when you know we have training tomorrow?"
Eren looked tired but he had a small content look on his face, until he took in Mikasa's voice and words that is.
Eren looked at her from over his shoulder.
" After that public embarrassment you gave me earlier? Yeah okay. Goodnight Mikasa."
But Mikasa was greatly worried. " Eren! You know it's dangerous to go out this late at night—"
" I was training with Y/N!" Eren told Mikasa, halting her approach to him.
" She's teaching me her techniques in exchange that I take her to see the sea! Nothing important." Eren's brows furrowed tightly as his own words, before his eyes found Mikasa's again.
" And I heard you tried to fight her!" He looked at her accusingly. " You can't be doing this Mikasa. You're not my mom!"
Mikasa lowered her head in shame. It wasn't that the words hurt her this time, but by the tone of Eren when talking about the subject. Eren has told her those words plenty of times. From before the Wall fell, to after. He always reminded her that she wasn't his mom.
Also, why was he getting so defensive about this? She was defending him. Something Mikasa has always done.
" Goodnight Mikasa," he said despite his anger. But it didn't sound polite at all.
When Eren exited the room, Mikasa stood in silence by herself for a moment. Was she codling him? No she wasn't. She didn't understand why Eren always used that line whenever she expressed her worry for him.
After a minute of her own silence, Mikasa took a stumbling step back.
Eren came from outside right? Mikasa wanted to see what was so interesting outside to make Eren leave the Barracks at this hour at night. He's never done this before, so she was curious—
For the first time, Mikasa felt that feeling in her stomach at the sight of Y/N Hammaz practicing continuous, and a variety of kicks on an open field.
————————————————————
" Eren? Why did you stop?" Mikasa asked. Hooking herself to the tree to check over Eren silently—Something she's began the tell herself to do more. Study before voicing her worry.
" Look at her Mikasa," Eren said as he waved his arm in a certain direction. He sounded bummed out about something.
Mikasa found herself already knowing that Eren was talking about you. You were the her he liked to talk about. She huffed, glancing up in the air as you swirled and graciously moved through the trees using the ODM.
You looked like a veteran Solider with how clean and precise your movements were.
Eren and Mikasa were now both watching you." She's so amazing, she's going to be Top in the Class."
When Mikasa noticed her own daze, she peeled her eyes away, setting them back onto Eren.
" Focus on yourself. Make your own pace and movements—"
" No just think about it Mikasa," Eren cut her off. " The Scouts need the best of the best to qualify and survive, like Captain Levi. Look at Y/N...she's the best of the best. That has to be in both 104th Divisions. If she's the best of the best, what am I? Seriously Mikasa. I need to get better. I need her to teach me more. Nightly now. I'll learn her routine."
" Eren you're pushing yourself too hard. You don't need to be as good as—"
" I need to get better." He cut her off. He had decided what needed to be done.
Eren pressed his hands on the gas button and the hook button. " Y/N! Wait up!"
Mikasa hated that feeling she's been feeling lately. The feeling churned her stomach and clouded her vision. She hated it.
—————————————————————
" If only you'd protect Eren, this wouldn't have happened!" Mikasa snapped at Levi on the 57th Expedition. The three of you were trailing the Female Titan, who had just ate Eren, but Mikasa claimed boldly that he is still alive. Before winding up in this situation, you were with Commander Erwin—where the Female Titan just was before calling a herd of Titans to eat her. When you arrived at the the scene with Levi, the dead bodies of his Squad Members were everywhere. Lathered around in the forest like they meant absolutely nothing. You saw the grim and dark look of despair in Captain Levi's eyes as he overlooked their bodies. The people who he once ate dinner with were dead.
And Mikasa had the audacity to say that to him.
You just couldn't accept that. With wide eyes you turned to look at Mikasa. A look of shock on your face with your lips curled in utmost disgust.
Your expression caught Levi's attention.
" Are you dizzy? Why would you say that to him! His Squad Members are dead in this forest right now! What do you think they fucking died for!?"
Mikasa glared at you, but you didn't waver under her stare. In fact, you glared back.
It was Mikasa's turn to get disrespectful.
" You too! If you aren't strong enough to protect Eren then why are you even around!"
You looked her over for a second, " You're one crazy ass bitch."
Mikasa's eyes narrowed dangerously as she changed angles to put her body in a vertical position. Her lips parting to open before Captain Levi interrupted.
" We're not doing this now. You guys can save your bickering for later." Levi dismissed before flying ahead with a pointed look to the two of you.
You gave Mikasa one last look—one that dared her to attack you from behind—before advancing after Levi, deciding to fly beside him. As the air whipped at your face and hair, fluttering your new Scout Cape, you narrowed your eyes ahead of you. But in the corner of your eyes, you could feel Levi's intense stare on the side of your face.
You spared him a glance, and he seemed like he wanted to catch your eyes because he stared into your own for 5 seconds. With a nod of your head in response, you understood what Levi was saying. " Thank You".
You spared Mikasa a glance from over your shoulder. You were first in the class, and she was second—like Eren predicted. But she was still strong. Mikasa was very strong, and perhaps that's why you believed you needed to cut back on the bickering with her.
With the way her face was settled into a nasty glare, and with the words you had told her just a minute ago—you were sure that your chances with Mikasa were slipping. Not that you wanted to have a relationship with her, but because that was Eren's Sister. If you could get along with Reiner, you could deal with Mikasa.
Though, your relationship with Reiner was more of a choice.
If you continued fighting her like this, you were sure one of these days you would end up fist fighting each other. But this time, it will be a real fight, not a petty spar.
You believe that this is where you made the decision to work on your temper.
Levi glanced at you as you were in deep thought, quiet and observing—but with something obviously on your mind.
" I see," Levi started, turning to face Mikasa.
" You're the one from back then. Eren's close friend?"
Why did that label hurt Mikasa so much? How come when she glanced at you, you hadn't moved a muscle at his words. Like you knew you weren't Eren's close friend—but more.
————————————————————
Eren asking for you after the 57th Expedition had to be the worst Mikasa has ever felt from that feeling. She had come to comfort him, sit beside him when he arrived at Hanji's Medical Room. Although Armin and Mikasa got to talk to Eren, Armin soon had to leave due to work with the Commander and Higher Up's. In result of that, Mikasa stayed back to accompany Eren. Something off her own will completely. The conversation was smooth, and Eren seemed to be in a good mood. Despite all the blood and horrors they just witnessed, Mikasa found peace in this moment. Until Eren asked her a question that churned her insides.
" Do you know how Y/N is? How she's doing?" I'm worried for her,"
Be worried for me, Mikasa wanted to say. But she knew better, it would ruin the peace in general.
It seemed like Eren did not want to stop just yet..." Not that she's weak or anything, she's real strong. I'm just worried for how she's doing right now, coping with all of this."
I'm strong too, she wanted to tell him.
Eren hadn't asked her any of these questions since she's been here. Mikasa felt her head lower, a bile rise in her throat that stung her eyes.
" Mikasa?"
She hadn't answered him yet. " Yes Eren?"
" How's Y/N doing?" Eren repeated with furrowed brows.
He looked at her, waiting for a response. The longer Mikasa took, the more worry began to show in Eren's face.
" She's okay. She's alive and safe." Her answer seemed to calm Eren.
" Can you bring her in here though?" He asked with a small laugh. " I won't be able to go back to sleep without knowing she's 100% okay."
It hurt, and Mikasa was starting to understand why.
————————————————————
Mikasa believed that nothing could get worst with you and Eren. Sitting at dinner, pretty isolated from the others, it was just her, Eren, and Armin. The three of them chatting about anything they could find a decent topic in. Armin found a topic within the fact that he had caught Eren staring at you for the 100th time. You had changed since your Cadet years. Everyone has. Appearance wise. Your face has become more defined—like your jawline, your lips were plumper, your eyes were more big and bold, your skin got more brown naturally, and your body developed more curves in perfect places.
Y/N Hammaz, the Latina Solider that was quite the beauty. If not for her personality that seems to bite those who she isn't familiar with.
Mikasa's shoulders sunk when she already knew the context to those 4 words.
" Stop calling me out!" Eren whispered yelled.
Armin's face grew into a playful smile. Raising his hands in defense.
" If I don't who else do you want to? Reiner? Jean? Even Connie might do worst then both of them."
Eren grumbled something, knowing that Armin's words were absolutely true. Your friends were hectic but they made you happy in the slightest, and Eren loved your attitude when you were overjoyed with happiness.
Mikasa watched as Eren put his face into his palm. " She's just so pretty. I can really look at her for hours..."
It hurt. It gave her a feeling that made her heart sting in her chest. But what could Mikasa do about it? All she's ever done is watch.
" She's just so perfect." And you were. In lots of peoples eyes at least.
So much people were probably gazing at you right now like Eren, but the difference was that you had no energy to return looks to other people.
Mikasa found herself staring at you too.
You were pretty, and it was obvious to everyone the Eren harboured romantic feelings to you.
When Mikasa felt her eyes drop at the sight of Eren ogling, she returned her gaze back to the table. But now she could feel eyes on her.
It was Armin. And his face mirrored one of bitter realization and pity. Mikasa shook her head at him though. Almost as if saying she was okay, that Armin shouldn't bring it up.
She wasn't sure if she could handle the reaction of Eren to the conversation if it was to happen.
It was better to leave Eren be.
—————————————————————
You sat with Reiner, pretty far away from the others. Connie, Sasha, and Jean were who you usually stuck with, but he had called you over, and sent Bertholdt away to sit in silence with your presence alone. Reiner and Bertholdt were always together, no matter the circumstances. It was Annie who always decided to drift away from them, but she didn't like Reiner very much anyways. Now that everyone knows she's the Female Titan, it was understandable why they didn't click.
" You're so pretty."
You turned to look at Reiner. A look of disgust taking over your natural features.
" Oh fuck off." You said with a eye roll.
Reiner didn't respond, making you peek over at him. Usually he would've chuckled, or done something in response to your attitude. But he said nothing at all.
" I'm telling the truth." He said with a more serious face.
You shook your head. " I know that! I'm trying to be humble bro, leave me be before I get cocky."
" I'm not joking."
You looked back at Reiner again. " What?"
" But that's not the only thing I like about you. You're smart, you're strong, you don't hesitate when it comes to battle, you never give up even though you've been through and seen so much fucked up things."
Your head was spinning.
" I love your skin, your lips, your cheekbones, your accent, your name even, and hell—even your laugh that isn't a forced laugh—it's a real sound of happiness. You keep things lighthearted with that smile of yours that I love. Though it sucks that I don't get to see it anymore. Because I would do anything to make sure you never stop smiling."
You stared at Reiner. Your lips parted in complete shock.
" Reiner," you called in a faint voice. " I'm with Eren...."
Reiner didn't even blink at your words. In fact, he didn't even seemed fazed or bothered by them. Instead, Reiner latched onto your shoulders, holding your face in his hands as you looked up at him shocked.
" I can show you the world Y/N. You don't deserve this. A woman like you doesn't deserve to be caught up in this type of shit. I can take you to my Hometown. I'll show you peace, a new world, you won't ever have to think about death Y/N."
You couldn't even form any words as you and Reiner stared at each other. So many things were going through your head but nothing escaped past your lips.
But as Reiner slowly got up, a sad expression on his face as he spared you a glance that said, " think about it", only one question went through your mind.
Where the hell was Reiner from?
A world like what he described was too good to be true.
—-
The day Reiner declared himself as the Armoured Titan was everyone's first mark of betrayal for him.
But for you, it was this day—-The day Reiner confessed his feelings to you. In the process, betraying Eren—who was supposed to be his brother figure.
————————————————————
It hurt. The way Eren held your face as if you were the most fragile thing in the world. As if you were treasure in a sea of people who were desperate for fortune. Eren held onto you like he depended on your being in general. Mikasa doesn't know why she didn't just turn away immediately. She doesn't know why she put herself through the pain of watching. She never meant to end up here—in the hallway watching as you and Eren did romantic signs of love like horny teenagers.
Mikasa should've known how this would end. And she regrets making you the target for her anger and fear of losing the only and first boy she romantically cared for.
Mikasa felt a new feeling in her stomach.
But that feeling burned her heart. It made her body feel heavy, like she was carrying luggage beyond her capability.
Turning her back away from the scene, Mikasa walked away as quickly and quietly as possible. Only love could hurt like this. This feeling she's felt for Eren was love. It was love, and it hadn't worked in her damn favour.
As Mikasa walked away, she accepted the fact that she's known in her gut for a long time.
She lost Eren.
She never had him—like you do.
Eren loves you.
Y/N Hammaz was the reason he got on the Battlefield, pushed himself past exhaustion, and the reason he fought every day for the greater good. Mikasa has heard Eren say it lots of times after all.
For now, Mikasa knows that all she can do is suppress this feeling. Maybe one day, she might find it with someone else, in a totally different situation.
———————————————————————————
She speaks.
My heart literally burned when I made you guys call Mikasa a " crazy ass bitch".
Like no Y/N. you can't be out here doing that.
I tried to give her some spice to her character as much as possible, without feeding into the " Spicy Latina" stereotype. Like Alexa Demie, but not tooooo much like her. Because Y/N's personality wasn't the main focus.
Anywho, Justice for Mikasa. And yes, Eren is a simp for Y/N.
@simpingforwakasa04 sis you told me you didn’t like angst and I did this. I owe you a big apology😭😭
