platonic! bertholdt x annie, RBA, slight hitchannie but isn’t the main focus, bertholdt kinda has a romantic partner (you can imagine it as you 🤭) but it’s not the main focus
modern au, high school au, crackfic but not really, annie has comphet, bertholdt is jokingly using the phrase ‘ur so in there’ not seriously lol, also im not a lesbian so im sorry if this isn’t totally accurate to the experience for queer women 😭, i just feel that annie would have romantic feelings for women lol
a/n - i sent this idea to another blog before and just now writing it so if that blog sees this randomly, hi 👋🏽 im the anon who sent you this scenario heehee
The air feels so much more crisp after a school event.
Football games, school dances, morning of a field trip.
Annie can’t find the reason why she came here. She feels awkward in the dress she’s wearing and she’s not even wearing the right shoes. She didn’t even know there were designated shoes for certain outfits until Pieck told her she looked like the protagonist of an old Disney channel show from 2008. All jokes of course.
Annie never lets it get to her. But right now, she is a 16 years old girl in a dress too tight around her growing body and in her old dirtied tennis shoes she wears everyday. Never has it ever occurred to her that looking like an old Disney channel star was a bad thing. Annie has never felt ugly, or pretty for that matter, in her life until now. And it is the most excruciating thing she has ever experienced. Ugly doesn’t even begin to describe how she feels. The eyes of her peers she never cared about are all of a sudden all on her and suddenly she has every reason to care about them now. Her hair is in a low bun and the only makeup she has on is lip balm.
It is homecoming night. The gymnasium has been turned into a starry night in Paris. Armin Arlert had been stressed about it the weeks leading up to the dance. Complaining to Mikasa in their shared history class how it seems like no one apart of the leadership committee actually wants to stick to the theme this year. Annie just felt stressed out listening to him. Perhaps this is the reason why Annie said yes to him when he had asked her to be his date for homecoming, perhaps this is the reason why she’s even in the old sweaty gym anyways outside of school hours.
She wasn’t planning to go. School events weren’t really her scene. But Armin, sweet old Armin who is practically a parents wet dream, needed a date. He practically deserved this just for somehow turning the old sweaty, stinky gymnasium into a romantic Parisian night sky. Who was she to say no? Armin was already on his way to earning the class presidency and later in life, he’ll probably earn the real thing. Compared to herself, quiet, drawn into the background, made to be forgotten - Armin could possibly be the best thing for her. When he asked her out to be his homecoming date, she tried to imagine a life with him, that this date would go really well and they’ll be boyfriend-girlfriend, high school sweethearts. They’d go off to different colleges, maybe go through a weird separation, but eventually find their ways back to each other, get married, have a few kids, grow old together - the whole shindig. The key word is tried though, she tried to think about it working; something in her can’t bring herself to even muster an image of it.
Dread stirs inside her as she realizes she might’ve been stood up. Well, technically she wasn’t, as she did arrive to the event with Armin in hand. But he was nowhere to be found, as he was running around trying to prevent his perfect homecoming dance turning into a disaster. Not only does she feel ugly, but now she feels embarrassed by the fact that she came to this stupid dance for no real reason. She could’ve said no and it wouldn’t have made any difference. She should’ve realized it beforehand. Of course the head of leadership would be busy at a school dance he was in charge of. She wants to cry, she feels stupid about it. It’s so stupid how badly she wants to cry right now. This stupid insignificant dance has done emotional damage to her own being.
Annie’s never felt this alone in her life. Some stupid song is playing and people are moshing around the star football player Reiner Braun as they lift him into the air, or as she knows him, the guy who she used to beat up when they were kids. She watches from a distance, twinges of nostalgia tugging at her heart at the sight of her old friend being celebrated for once in his life. She knew how his home life was and he knew how hers was; they have virtually nothing in common except not liking their home lives. But hey, at least Reiner Braun is dancing tonight and Annie Leonhart is in the corner.
Hitch from her Math class is there too. She’s jumping and shouting with the rest of the crowd, celebrating her old friend. She has her heels in her right hand and she has this big smile on her face and doesn’t feel embarrassed about taking a high school dance this serious, probably from the booze or probably because she’s still in high school, or probably because she didn’t have a bad home life holding her back. I bet Hitch doesn’t feel ugly, Annie thinks.
She can’t feel ugly looking like how she looks right now, at this moment; under the fake starry lights in fake sweaty gym Paris, her gums are showing as she smiles this big toothy smile and her eyes are crinkled like crescent moons, and the baby pink of her dress just further extenuates her whole entire being; this is what beauty is, Annie thinks - a girl laughing and dancing.
Hitch catches Annie staring at her, and her smile just gets even wider as she keeps her eyes on the quiet girl from her math class. Annie returns her eyes and just continues to watch her dance, and she feels a little awkward about it but it sure does beat watching Armin and Jean trying to keep the cardboard Eiffel Tower upright.
Annie doesn’t know much about Hitch. All she knows about her are all the observations she’s made while sitting behind her in Math this school year. How she’s often scolded and told that this isn’t a beauty salon every time she reapplies her lip combo, and how she still continues to do whatever she pleases, how she always has ‘tea to spill’ as she calls it to Mina (Annie secretly listens), how she always plays games on her laptop instead of taking notes, and how she often smiles at Annie when she catches her glance in the hallway, and even if they never talked outside of math class, their conversations being limited to geometry, she still thinks to smile at her, pulling at Annie’s heart, and that’s gotta mean something.
Annie can feel her heart in her throat.
She runs to the nearest exit for a breath of fresh air but instead, runs into a slightly disheveled Bertholdt as he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s been doing nothing but smoke and wait for a drunk Reiner to be done so he can finally go home.
Bertholdt is a bit frightened by Annie’s abrupt appearance, hiding his cigarette in the process thinking Annie was going to be a staff member.
“You scared me!” Bertholdt sits back down against the hood of his dad’s car.
Annie calms down at the sight of her childhood friend. Bertholdt hiding outside makes her feel less bad about her hiding in the corner while their childhood friend gets all the glory. At least they’re both losers.
Annie doesn’t say anything to Bertholdt but goes and sits with him.
Bertholdt looks at Annie a little surprised. He carefully takes out a cigarette for her, making sure to not mess up the formation, and gives it to her.
Annie puts the cigarette in between her lips, not taking her eyes off the double doors separating her and Hitch.
Bertholdt takes out a candle lighter out of his pocket to light Annie’s cigarette, Annie looks down at the enormous lighter and looks to Bertholdt for an explanation.
“Sorry,” he says while trying to fit the candle lighter into the pocket of his suit, “I’ve been outside this whole time and my lighter ran out of fluid.”
“I’m so fucked Bertholdt.” Annie says, her eyes solemnly closing for a moment. “I’m so insanely fucked.” her sad cerulean eyes open back up, looking at those dreadful double gym doors again.
Bertholdt’s eyebrows furrow in worry. This isn’t the Annie he knows, the Annie who he’s known since they were 7, the Annie who can only express herself through labored sighs and punching Reiner, the Annie who he hasn’t had a proper conversation with since the summer and has made it her lifeline mission to completely ignore the two boys who’s she somehow manages to create a meaningful friendship with. What could fuck up the Annie Leonhardt, who Bertholdt hasn’t even seen angry, let alone sad, let alone happy, this bad to the point where she is expressing her fucked up feelings to an old childhood friend?
Hitch, Hitch from math class is what fucks her up, Hitch and her stupid fucking moshing is what’s fucking Annie up, Hitch and her lip combo, Hitch and her stupid gossip, Hitch and her stupid smile.
“Uhhhh..” Bertholdt doesn’t really know what to say as he starts looking at anything else but Annie, “did Armin do something?” he asks, knowing she went to this dance with Armin in hand. He doesn’t know what else could fuck up her night like this, he hasn’t talked to her in months and he’s desperately looking for answers.
“Well what didn’t he do?” Bertholdt still doesn’t know what to say or how to comfort his old friend. He’s literally searching up on his phone how to comfort an old friend and typing out Reddit right afterwards because he doesn’t have the time to read PsychologyToday.com’s whole ass article.
“He literally did nothing. He was just running around trying to make sure that the fucking lights didn’t go out and the speakers wouldn’t malfunction. As soon as we came into the gym, he’s running right to Jean fucking Kierstein to lecture him about whatever the fuck those leadership nerds even worry about.” Annie is starting to shake and tear up a bit. Bertholdt awkwardly places his large hand on her shoulder, literally doesn’t even try to soothe her, just places his hand on her shoulder.
“I feel so fucking stupid. I don’t even know why I said yes to go to this dance with him just so he can run around doing whatever the fuck he’s doing. I don’t even know him like that.” Annie holds her head in her hands, knowing damn well it isn’t Armin turning her into a crying mess.
“All I did was stand in the fucking corner while the ‘star quarterback’ Reiner Braun was having the time of his life.” Annie is just now finding things to be mad at, trying her hardest to avoid these feelings she can’t possibly be having right now. She knows she’s not mad at Reiner or even Armin, but that foreign ache in heart is trying to find someone to blame.
“Is it Reiner you’re upset about?” Bertholdt softly asks.
Annie doesn’t respond as she quietly cries into her hands.
“I get how you feel. I know me, you and Reiner haven’t been close friends since freshmen year but I really did miss when we were all close. Now all I talk to is Reiner. Sometimes it feels like I don’t even know Reiner.” Bertholdt mindlessly says, his thoughts drifting back to when it was just them three, unburdened by the possibility of becoming strangers, old stories to tell their future children about. He starts to ponder about the old days, when the three of them were still kids and had all the time for each other. Now, Reiner is being celebrated for the star athlete he is and the pasts of his childhood is outside, smoking fakedeep cigarettes and talking about their feelings. It’s gayer than Annie.
“But honestly,” he starts to confess, “I don’t think Reiner really knows me either. And Annie,” his eyes flicker to her, “i don’t think I even know you, Annie. We haven’t talked in a while.” Bertholdt said without thinking, the words slipping out as if they’ve been waiting for the perfect moment. Deep inside he knows they’re outgrowing each other; he knows that the versions of Reiner and Annie who would spend weekly nights at his house whenever their parents became too much to deal with are long gone. The versions of themselves who knew each others deepest secrets and the most embarrassing, the versions of themselves that they’ve only given permission to each other to see; the versions of themselves they’re not sure other people would ever get the pleasure to witness.
And yet, Annie and Reiner weren’t the only ones who’ve changed over the years, meek and timid Bertholdt has changed as well. And he at least has the courage to try and keep this lifelong friendship lifelong. He owes it not to just himself but to them. He knows what they have is special, a bond that transcends lifetimes and he wants to keep it that way.
“I mean the new and growing and developed Annie! I’d love to get to know new Annie!” Bertholdt frantically explains just in case Annie understood what he said the wrong way.
“It’s not Reiner, or even Armin, it’s Hitch.” Annie admits, her voice heavy trying to move past her throat, leaving a guttural admission; Annie hasn’t fully comprehended what Bertholdt was trying to say but it made her feel comfortable enough to show Bertholdt who she really is, what she’s realized tonight.
“I like girls, Bertholdt.” Annie finally spits it out. These foreign feelings that slowly crept up to her just from seeing Hitch Dreyse dance has manifested into this very moment, where she’s quite literally sobbing into the palms of her hands because she thinks it’s the worse thing in the world - to love a woman and to be loved by a woman. Tears only rush out once more once she realizes it feels so right, that it’s something she could actually dream about, something that’s so natural to her.
Bertholdt doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t really equipped to deal with situations like this. Now he’s searching up on Reddit how to react when your former friend comes out to you. But school Wi-Fi always sucks, and Reddit isn’t loading. So he says the next the best thing.
“I mean, I like girls too.” Bertholdt admits like it’s wrong for him to like women. He’s a bit shy about it as he bashfully rubs the back of his head thinking about a certain girl he’s been texting back and forth for the whole entirety of the dance he’s been outside.
Annie looks up at him, a little sick from the cigarette smell in the palm of her hand and her light eyebrows furrowed while her eyes widened in awe of Bertholdt’s awkwardness.
“You’re so brave Bertholdt.” Annie says sarcastically and chuckles softly, a light smile gracing her lips.
Bertholdt returns her smile, his nerves relieved as he suspected his friend felt better.
“Me and Reiner were gonna go get some burgers after this. You wanna join us? We can talk about girls together?” Bertholdt places his large hand behind his even bigger head, rubbing the back of his head bashfully.
“Please,” Annie doesn’t mean for it to sound desperate, but she’s just now realizing how hungry she is and she misses her two only friends.
Bertholdt’s lips curl into a small smile, subtly changing the subject just so Annie won’t feel too bad, “Yeah, now we’ll have to wait on Reiner’s fat ass, you know how he is.”
Annie scoffs, “don’t get me started, he was crowd surfing when I was in there. I’m not sure how they could even hold his fat ass up.”
Bertholdt lets out a calming laugh.
For a moment, they sit in a comfortable silence. The night air feels cooler now, less suffocating, full of hope and wonder similar to the morning air of a field trip.
“Thanks, Bertl,” Annie says suddenly, her voice calmer than he’s ever heard it.
He looks at her, surprised, “For what?”
She wants to say some corny shit like ‘for accepting her,’ but Annie has expressed herself far too much than she would like too tonight.
“For being here,” she says like it’s second nature, her gaze still fixed on those damned double doors. “and for staying outside with me while Reiner gets all the glory.”
Bertholdt looks back at up, “Yeah, well he’s deserved it.” He praised his best friend, compensating for calling him a fat ass a few minutes prior.
“At least we’re losers together.”
“Holy shit, is it fucking hot in there!” Reiner comes rushing out like he’s escaped hellfire, huffing and puffing as he put his hands on his knees.
“Finally, it took you long enough,” Bertholdt stands up, going up to Reiner to pat him on the back. “Come on, we’re starving.”
“We’re?” Reiner looks up to find the we’re in question and finds Annie awkwardly looking back at him, a little frightened from his sudden appearance and intrusion of her little moment of vulnerability. Reiner notices her eyes a little worn out, like she’s been crying. He doesn’t say anything. He’s just glad she was here with them.
“Oh hi Annie,” he cheeses at her, “you’re coming with us?” he questioned, hoping for a yes.
“Yup,” she gets off from the hood of Bertholdt’s dad’s car, and makes her way towards her designated seat she used to always sit in (behind the passenger seat). Reiner and Bertholdt follow her.
Bertholdt begins to play the static noise he calls music and Reiner tries to change it but Bertholdt keeps his foot down about how it’s his car, his music. Reiner offers to pay for gas and Bertholdt complies, but as soon as Reiner plays ‘Better Now’ by Post Malone, he immediately revokes his radio rights, even passing on free gas. Annie would rather listen to the static noise Bertholdt calls music than Top 40.
She casts one last look at the double doors from the back of her window, and she solemnly thinks about Hitch and her stupid smile, Hitch and her stupid lip combo, Hitch and her stupid dancing. Annie still doesn’t know what to do with all of her feelings. But for now, eating burgers with her two childhood best friends and talking about girls together will have to do.
And somehow, that’s more than enough.
“I don’t know man, I think I really have a shot with Historia. Even Ymir thinks so.” Reiner says to Bertholdt. He’s eating Annie’s leftover fries she never finishes as Bertholdt and Annie give each other a knowing look. A look that doesn’t know whether they should let Reiner know that Historia is a girl kisser.
Ymir and Bertholdt are a lot closer than some people think, and there’s only a few lesbians in this whole entire school for Annie to flock to so she keeps her options known.
“You’re so in there, dude.” Bertholdt chides Reiner, not wanting to out Historia while also attempting to encourage his best friend. He’ll ponder whether this is fucked up or not later when he’s about to go to sleep.
“What about you, with your little thing going on with that 53 year old man?”
Annie lets out an unexpected laugh that would originally be a huff through her nose in the last, not even letting Reiner know she thought he was funny at times. Reiner looks at her, a surprised smile on his face.
“Shut up,” Bertholdt retorts, “53 year old man or not, I’m still in it.” He jokes, looking down at the goodnight text from the girl he’s been talking to the whole night. His eyes glint in love, sending her a goodnight text back.
“Yeah, me too.” Annie says sheepishly, a bit embarrassed.
Reiner looks to her laughing a bit, smiling as this is the first time he’s ever seen Annie embarrassed. “Who’s the lucky boy?”he slightly laughed.
Bertholdt begins to laugh at the mention of a boy.
“Girl actually.” Annie admitted in an elated tone, contrasting her usual deadpan nature.
Bertholdt gave Annie a surprised look, a proud smile decorating his face as he was happy she was more comfortable about who she was.
“Oh? Then who’s the lucky girl?” Reiner has the same smile on his face, not even questioning Annie’s sexuality, like he knew this whole time.
Annie slightly laughs to herself, a big smile painted on her own face, her porcelain skin blushed and warm, “I…was lying, there is no girl,” Annie’s ears perk up at the sound of the door opening, Hitch Dreyse coming in with her own group of friends. That toothy grin is painted onto her face and her curls are starting to unravel out of her bun, her face is flushed from the bottle of booze someone had snuck in and from how much she danced tonight; “Yet.” she finished her sentence.
“Weirdo, weirdo, weirdo,” Reiner jokingly chants at Annie’s lie.
Annie flips him off and shakes her head unseriously, “Shut up dumbass.”
Bertholdt audibly laughs at Reiner and Annie’s bickering, shaking his head in disapproval.
“Oh god you’re so in there, Annie.” he joked, adding his own 2 cents to their banter, already knowing who she was talking about. Reiner and Annie laugh at Bertholdt’s comment.
He missed this; his childhood comes back to him in a burger joint after homecoming, he’s trying to make it poetic but all he can think is how much he’s missed this.
So he takes the long way home when he’s dropping off both Reiner and Annie. They’re in his dad’s old minivan and it smells like the time Reiner threw up in the back seat and all the windows are down. All 3 of them are sharing Reiner’s dying penjamin and Ribs by Lorde is playing. It’s one of those nights where summer creeps back into fall and it’s warm, and the wind feels good against her skin, and their old hometown of Liberio starts to look too good to leave. It’s the way everything starts to look like an oil painting when you’re looking out a car window; with the night sky being the canvas, emphasizing the street lights blending together in warm hues, and the familiar houses they’ve walked/drove past their whole entire lives combines into an array of colors that paints nostalgia. Annie can feel tears in her eyes and it makes her feel free and it’s pathetic but Hitch Dreyse would never feel pathetic and she looked so beautiful tonight and she loves her friends.
Her face begins to warm up as Bertholdt slowly pulled up to her house, driving slower than usual, not wanting this night to end.
“Thanks for the ride.” Annie smiled at both him and Reiner. She left the car, a bit awkward coming down from her high.
“Annie,” Bertholdt called out to her. She looks back, Bertholdt and Reiner’s eyes being red from the dying penjamin. She smiles, just knowing they’re gonna say the stupidest shit she’s ever heard.
“We’re proud of you, Annie.” Bertholdt told her. “Thank you for telling us that you’re gay.” Reiner puts his hands together and bows his head at her.
“Yeah, yeah.” She rolls her eyes at them. She began to walk away.
“Annie!” Bertholdt called out to her one more time, driving up so she can hear him.
Annie looks back once again.
“Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
Annie chuckles lightly, “Okay,” she waves him off, “now go home already freaks.”
Bertholdt and Reiner wave goodbye and Annie sees them drive off. She began to make her way towards her home, entering quietly. It’s close to 12 am and Annie’s glad she wore her dirtied sneakers instead of the “right shoes.” She’s a bit bloated from the burgers and the girl talk, her dress a bit tight and uncomfortable. She looks in the mirror as she got ready for bed, her eyes a bit red and a small smile still decorating her usual stoic features. She’s still a bit high off of Reiner’s pen and she takes in her features.
And for the first time, she feels pretty. Maybe it’s the way the light redness and slight hood in her eyes accentuates the blue in them, maybe it’s the way her aquiline nose hooks so elegantly, maybe it’s the way she feels tonight, maybe it’s the way Hitch smiles at her.
She feels like an old Disney movie protagonist and her arc of loving and accepting herself has come to an end. She’s in bed and she’s looking up at her ceiling, no longer feeling stuck, like she wants the ceiling to crash onto her, and she just thinks about going off to college, getting a job that would be enough, creating a life with Hitch, meeting new people and having weekly dinners with Reiner and Bertholdt. She thinks about adopting children, and loving them to the point where they’ll always feel like this and never have to feel shame.
And Annie takes the first step.
She pulls out her phone, enters the passcode, goes into the Instagram account she forgot about, and she goes to @/hitchdr3yse, the first account that popped up in her search history. She’ll feel embarrassed about it in the morning, but she quickly follows her, watches her story, pausing at a mirror selfie she took of her in her dress, and she almost swipes up to send this message but she decides against it, because than she’ll feel really embarrassed.
But she has no reason to be embarrassed. Because when she hastily sends Hitch a message: hey, I saw you at the dance and I wanted to say you looked really..” she wanted to say beautiful, gorgeous, the light of her life, but than she realizes it may be too creepy so she goes with “you looked really cool. I was wondering if you would wanna hangout sometime?” and when she hits send, she sits up quickly and puts her face warm with blush into her pillow, and screams.
But than she hears the joyful ping of Instagram, matching the smile on her lips when she reads hitch’s text message: ‘OMGGGG YESSSSS!!!!:D’
And Annie likes her message, and tells her she’ll see her in geometry on Monday. She takes a quick screenshot of her text with Hitch, and sends it to the group chat labeled, ‘zaaaa boyzzzzzzzz’ that hasn’t been active since the summer.
She sends the screenshot, and she feels a little shy when Reiner and Bertholdt read it. It instantly receives both hearts from both of them, and she breathes through her nose and lets out a chuckle from their responding text messages.
@/armoredbraun - YEAHHHHH GEDDIT ANNIE RAHHHH ‼️🤝
@/bhoover You’re so in there Annie 😭💪🏽💪🏽
