Aphmau textposts 6/?

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Aphmau textposts 6/?
I get Michael's a demon warlock, but he is still a man kick him in the nuts
Ein’s mom
ok guys. Big hear me out on this, but I promise it makes sense: Elizabeth.
For the sake of this, let’s just say that Zach is Ein’s biological father. It was put into the video, so I consider it canon. For perhaps the small handful that don’t have the full context of this, Ein was implied to be Zach’s son, but via posts from Jess and Jason, it was kinda called off. What with the Everything Wrong With MyStreet Season 6 video, I don’t know what to think anymore, but for this context? Cannon.
Next, in the “Michael cult,” we’ve got Zach and Elizabeth. Technically, for a while, Garté and Derek were also there, but they were lucky enough to get out. So it’s just the Demon Warlock and his two followers who’ve been friends since high school, and they’re, uh… they seem to be pretty close friends. I mean, if the way Elizabeth talks to Zach is anything to go by. “I’ve missed you,” she tells him, “It’s only been a few months,” he tells her. “That’s a long time for people who have been friends as long as we have.” Okay that’s kind of a weird way to put that (also don’t kill me, I’m quoting from memory but I think I got it pretty good? I know it’s in the episode Aphmau’s Family Secret from Starlight if you wanna quote check me or something idk). Throughout their interactions, Elizabeth will refer to him as “handsome,” like, instead of his name. And there’s just a whole bunch of other stuff that’s like “ok what the heck is happening here.” So hear me out, pretend you didn’t see the title of this post, Elizabeth is the woman Zach cheated on Sylvanna with. It makes sense! They’ve known each other a long time, they’re both in the same cult, the way she talks to him implies some intimate past… I don’t know guys. Seems like a lady in love.
Another reason why I think she’s the lady is because during the flashback where Derek is telling Michael that they can’t experiment on Aaron, Elizabeth offers to get more kids. Ok, so like, kidnapping? Or… birthing. Garté has three children (technically two), Zach has one, Derek has two, Terri has one, and Elizabeth… has a plethora of children. Katelyn, Casey, and all their other brothers. How many is it, five? Seventeen? I genuinely don’t know, but I know it’s quite a few (I’m an only child). Were all of those to “get more kids?” Hear me out on this, alright? Some of those had to be older than Katelyn, and maybe there’s a few younger than Kasey. Were all of them experimented on in some way or other? Or planned to at all?
I don’t know, maybe that’s irrelevant, but hear this: let's say that Michael took Elizabeth up on her offer to get more kids. Maybe Eric was getting more the wiser (maybe that’s why she kept having kids, bc he kept protecting them), or maybe they were just having marriage issues, and Eric didn’t want her around them a lot/alone. Or maybe they want more control over the child, with no excuses for them to leave (Like Aaron and Aphmau did). So Michael has her have a child with one of the other cult members. At this point in time, the options are Derek, Garté, and Zach. Well Derek’s off the table because he’s the Ultima. So the choice comes down to a human as the father, or a werewolf as the father. Hm. Hm. I wonder what he’d pick.
Ok. So skipping a head a little (I promise we’ll go back!), Ein’s born, and so is Aphmau, and Zach and Sylvanna are having relationship problems. And Elizabeth is in love with Zach. Elizabeth is also the mother of one of Zach’s children! During an episode in Starlight, and a trailer for When Angels Fall, Sylvanna explains that she found out about Zach’s affair via a text message sent by the woman he cheated with, accompanied by a picture of their child. Given all the above context, wouldn't it make sense for that to have been Elizabeth? It was the final push for Sylvanna, and Elizabeth did get Zach “all to herself” in a sense. Elizabeth cheating on Eric also could have played a part in her own divorce.
Ok, so with Zach’s, Sylvanna’s, and Elizabeth’s little love triangle (plus Eric so ig it’s a square…?), let's talk logistics. Elizabeth had a lot of kids with Eric: Katelyn, Kacey, and all their brothers. Ein (if I remember correctly) was Aphmau’s upperclassman back in high school. So a he’s a jr while she’s a sophomore? Hey, hang on… Katelyn’s in the grade above Aphmau too! So her and Ein are the same age? If Ein was Elizabeth’s son, that would mean that Ein and Katelyn would be twins. Which is a stretch. And how could they be? If Katelyn’s biological dad is Eric, and Ein’s is Zach? They can't be twins if they have different biological fathers, can they? Well, actually, they can! It’s a phenomenon called heteropaternal superfecundation, where a woman is pregnant with two babies each with a different dad. It’s rare, but very possible! This would save her the trouble of hiding her pregnancy or faking miscarriage.
During the lore dump that Derek gave Melissa, he explains that Zach and Elizabeth were/are both witch doctors. Elizabeth (to an extent) could monitor her own pregnancy, and have Zach do everything else. He could have been the doctor that helped with Ein and Katelyn’s delivery, and hidden Ein. They could’ve said that one of the twins didn’t make it (which isn’t unheard of), or they could have lied and not mentioned twins at all to Eric. And they would have taken Ein over Katelyn, not just because Ein is Zach’s child, but because Ein is a werewolf- and stronger or smt idk. That’s the whole reason they had Zach be the father in the first place. Think about it!
That would leave Ein to be raised by the members of Michael’s cult. Zach made it bluntly clear that he hates Ein, but cares for Aphmau. He could view Ein as the reason he and Sylvanna got divorced, and why he couldn’t see Aphmau. So, not the best relationship there. Then there’s Elizabeth. I suppose she could’ve been the “good parent,” but seeing as Ein hates all humans, and that Elizabeth is (needless to say) implied to not be the best of parents. So that leaves Michael himself, and seeing how Ein tries his best to work with him and be like him (Emerald Secret) and do his bidding and please him (When Angles Fall), despite the fact that he’s not a werewolf, it’s easy to see that Elizabeth and Zach may not have been the major part of his upbringing. Add another tally for the member count of the Michael cult.
So, in short, Zach cheated on Sylvanna with Elizabeth, and had Ein. Because Elizabeth cheated on Eric, they divorced. Elizabeth was the one who told Sylvanna about the affair, and caused their divorce to actually happen. And Ein and Katelyn are twins with heteropaternal superfecundation. Zach was an absent father (he refers to Ein as “the kid” all the time. He never even says his name, ever), and Elizabeth most likely wasn’t an amazing mother (the only time we see Elizabeth with Ein is the time where Ein is following her across the bridge). Yes, I’m aware of the forever potion Ein had placed on him and all that jazz, but let me know what you guys think!
This isn’t me standing up on a stage and telling you what’s right, I want to hear your thoughts! Comment and/or reblog and add to or debunk me! /gen
So if Michael did know about Vylad not being Garte's biological son, do you think he'd be like "wow this kid looks a lot less uglier than you, I don't think he's yours"?
I’m stuck on a island with a blueberry and a knockout out blonde how great this is all Michael fault
This Is A whole Judgmental Villain Post
I am going to be judging how good of villains each of these idiots are, if they have a low score I can hardly call them a villain. These are specifically MyStreet villains for now.
Ein. He definitely meets the criteria for a villain but he's just not... That good of one. First of all, how the fuck did he go from genuine emotions to "oh wow I was faking it to become the alpha and bla bla bla"? No one fakes emotions that good, this story plot was bullshit. His main goal is to... WaiT what's his main goal again? There's the turn everyone into a werewolf supremacist thing, the fuck lemme make out with this basic ass chick thing, the uwu get revenge on ultima thing[get in line with everyone else lol], and then there's the simping for Michael thing. The main one is probably the last one in season six cause that's all he talked about. He got a lot of people killed but he can't do it without help. He is nothing but a sidekick. 3\10.
Zack. he doesn't meet any criteria why the fuck is he in the villain place. The whole reason he even worked with Michael was money yet his dumbass wasn't willing to kill for it? He's pathetic as fuck. His main goal was to threaten and torment Derek in Starlight, that's not intimidating to the rest of the group at all. if he actually did something besides torment and be a condescending asshole to his ex boyfriend then maybe he's meet the criteria, but he doesn't. The cheating doesn't make him a villain, as that would put so many other characters as villains too. Yeah he's an asshole and all, just not really a villain. 0\10.
Elizabeth. The fuck she do besides kick Garte's kneecaps out and have a fairly seductive voice? She also saved Zack from drowning, how dare she he wanted to die anyways[which is sad but let's not talk about that]. She'll probably be better in the future so I give her 4\10.
Derek. No. No no no. He is not a villain in the slightest he is an antagonist, there is a BIG difference. His actions are more fucked up then the others though so he gets to be talked about. First of all the nicest thing he did to Aaron was get him a dog, then lose it. Now for the actual options, Derek has a weird way of showing he cares about Aaron. That includes making agents stalk him to make sure he doesn't hang out with humans he could put in danger, hiring some weird stoner dude to assault his son then hug him, intentionally calling his son a monster whenever he does anything wrong, throwing a temper tantrum and breaking his phone, and he's also really good at lying. probably learned it from Michael cause there's no way he picked it up himself. Oh also 7\10 for creativity.
Xavier. Best villain 100% \s. He really needs to take a break from the internet because it is damaging his emotional health and also his villain vibes, I can't really take a computer need who's really only obsessed with seeing the ultima seriously. He gets really fucking emotional when it comes to exposing the ultima so it messes up all his Damn plans. He only stayed in FCU because he's only a villain meant for college. 5\10 cause I feel bad for him.
Ivan. This bitch could've just stayed a player and saved his pathetic life from becoming an asshole, yet he chose the wrong path because he's really stupid. All he does is prank people and harass Lucinda, and also turn people into babies. He's literally nothing but a kindergartener to everyone. 1\10
Michael\The Demon Warlock. Wow someone who literally could give less of a fuck about Aphmau and Aaron's relationship's existence? Perfection. Amazing. Anyways, some of the bad things he did were controlling people to kill others for him, kill Terry's dad who apparently existed, beat up Travis because he's a nuisance and he's in the way, try to kill a useless God who does nothing for the community, didn't kill Derek cause Derek killed himself, killed one of his partners daughters cause he doesn't give a fuck, and he also killed Rachel. The fuck is up with that. How dare he. His main goal is to kill Irene cause fuck if I know I guess they broke up or something. He is also weird and predatory just like Terry, which is why I can't tell them apart. 9\10 cause the Katelyn thing ruined his intimidation.
That is all for now.
So co-author and I were discussing the worst parents in our rewrite, and we have come to the conclusion that depending on whether or not you count the Demon Warlock possessing his descendants, you end up with two slightly different lists.
if you count the Demon Warlock possessing his descendants, the top 5 list of shitty parents from worst to least shitty is:
Demon Warlock
Garte
Derek
Zack
Elizabeth
But if you consider the Demon Warlock's only shitty action as a parent being trying to murder his son, the list becomes:
Garte
Derek
Demon Warlock
Zack
Elizabeth
Terry: This is definitely an affect of drugs.
Michael: Again, I am not a dru-
Terry: Shut up, drug. You are a drug. Don't deceive me.