#aro experiences

[achillbeing]

So something hilarious happened and I want to share it. I hope they don't find this because that would be AWKWARD if they found my Tumblr (okay actually it would probably be absolutely fine but anyway.)

So. I am a college student supervising high schoolers currently. We're chilling this evening after all the things and a girl is doing tarot readings, just for fun and whatever. You can pick a question or topic and a couple people picked love life. I'm in line thinking, wouldn't it be really funny... I could be laughing my butt off privately the whole time. This would be too good. I think I have to do this it would be hilarious. I speak a couple of these thoughts aloud without context as my turn approaches.

I get in the chair, chuckling about how I'm just gonna do it. The girl next to me, not the one doing the reading but another very chatty and social one, looks directly at me and asks quite deliberately, "[my name], do you like garlic bread?"

I get a bit of a surprised grin, not sure if I'm understanding correctly, as I turn to her and say, "Yes I do, very much." Her eyes go big and her face lights with recognition and she's like "Ha I knew it! Me too!"

A couple people also start grinning and exclaiming while many others are confused but can clearly see we just had something happen. One remarks on the "instant spark of recognition", "clown-to-clown communication right there". Only then does the questioner notice my black ring on my right hand, prominently displayed as I prop up my chin. I've been wearing it almost constantly the entire last 5 weeks I've been with them.

This sparks another round of chatter. I inform her that I did have a white one too but I lost it. The one doing the taro readings is now more lost, saying "I'm not familiar with this part of garlic bread culture" but that still just makes me happy that one not of our culture knew of it anyway.

Anyway then we continue with the reading, one or two people catch on or are informed, other silent onlookers either aren't impressed or are sadly (hopefully not maliciously) ignorant of the hidden world of garlic bread dragons cake and black rings.

[neverquiteeden]

My Aro Friend-Grief post is doing the rounds again, so I want to change the tone a bit. This is a Positivity Post(TM).

Reblog with at least one experience you've had with your friends or being aro/aro-spec that has brought you genuine joy! Let's get some hope passed around here!

[completely-real-and-normal-human]

unlearning the idolisation of romantic love as the ideal end-goal of any platonic relationship feels amazing

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

It’s weird hearing people decry aromantism as an identity by holding it up as an example of people needing hyper-specific words to describe their experiences. Because, personally speaking, I actually was drawn to aromantism and a concept and identity specifically because it allowed room for ambiguity in how I classify my relationships.

Certainly, I have a lot of typical “aro” experiences most other people who use the label have gone through - didn’t get crushes, didn’t fall in love, tried lying and making myself fall in love with other people to fit in - but besides that, I have done quite a bit of thinking and reading about love and what that even means. The conclusion that I am beginning to reach is that, for me, I really don’t find it useful in my own life to try and classify and delineate which relationships are romantic and platonic in my life.

As is, each relationship between dyads of people is already unique. Add to that the fact that so much about the line between “romantic”, “platonic”, and anything else in-between is so blurry and subjective, I decided that it honestly isn’t super important for me to truly classify what every close relationship I could ever have with a person within a dichotomy. Even as someone who considers herself aroallo, it feels more useful to me to think of people in terms of sexual compatibility, trustworthiness, and general closeness rather than strictly “is this someone I truly *love* in the romantic sense”.

And well, it’s freeing for me! I like that I don’t need to define relationships with people. I can be close to a lot of different folks, and I don’t have to be like. Is this romantic? Is this platonic? Queer-platonic? Something else entirely? Who’s to say? We’re close and right with each other, and honestly, that’s all that really matters to me!

And obviously romance, romantic love, and romantic partnership (or polyamourous relations) are important things and concepts to lots of people. It can be a beautiful thing in one’s life. Some people like having clear, specific labels, and that’s fine. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a platonic one, queer-platonic, or anything else really. Even making up specific labels to describe oneself and one’s relationship is pretty harmless, if I’m being honest. But personally, specific labelling of my relationships is not something I feel I necessarily need. Especially when I feel different frameworks and a greater sense of ambiguity in terms of defining relationships would be more helpful to me. Honestly, I think hey, different strokes for different folks. And for me, I like the ambiguity of not needing to define your close relationships between a dichotomy.

[yumienikkie]

i remember this one time i saw a really cute guy on an exchange project and i got really nervous around him

and i constantly was wondering if i had a crush on him

but i have realised

i was attracted to him aesthetically

while being nervous, i never thought about a relationship, nothing, nada

i just thought he was cute

THIS EXPERIENCE CONSTANTLY MADE ME DOUBT IF I WAS ARO. I AM ARO. I WAS JUST AESTHETICALLY ATTRACTED.

finally i can be at peace

[agressivelyaro]

Do any other aros have love/hate relationships with romance-centred coming of age media? I was watching Heartstopper with my friend yesterday, and it's a good show and I like it but partway through one of the episodes I just got sad

and it's like,, it doesn't explicitly say it but romantic coming of age media always seems to be saying that you've gotta have romance to grow up, although I don't know if that's just what I've been trained to see?

feel free to add on! it's be interesting to see other takes on this

[117-opossum-teeth]

i’ve come to the conclusion that i only really feel “love” for things that are unattainable, like fictional characters and inanimate objects. those things can’t love me back nor can i have a mutual connection to them, therefor i’m comfortable saying what i feel for them is love. when it comes to other people though, i don’t think it is love. i care for others and i can love spending time with someone, but not the person themself.

i guess it could almost be compared to comphet, but…. complove? i don’t know, love as a concept is just a weird thing.

[leva-prava]

A redraw of my old old comics about my thoughts about being aro.

It was supposed to be done on the Valentines Day, but it wasn’t.

I... forgot to draw my glasses. Again.