Since it has been mentioned at least twice (or thrice?) already.
What are these religious-but-not-religious beliefs? You do not have to answer (but chat doesn't mind being here all day for the discussion).
Hehehe someone finally asked hehe
Thank you chattt i love yapping to you 😌
They're religious in the sense of being about belief and faith, although as any religious person would tell you, it's not faith, it's fact, but, i digress. And it's Not religious in the fact it doesn't concern a god or a worship, it's just.. knowledge, and the way you live your life.
The cells in your body love you. There is no doubt about that. They fix you up when you're injured and they live to love you, they live to keep you safe, and they never try to actually harm you, any harm they cause is fully accidental.
They love you because you are home to them, you Are them, and you love them because they are home to you, and they Are you. You are each other and you are both home and you are both love, you're both so loved.
And this is going to sound random, and I don't know much about autoimmune disorders so please excuse me and tell me if i got anything wrong. But even then, with those, your body is not Trying to kill you, it's still trying to care for you and love you, it's just doing it wrong. There is no communication between you and your cells, you can't tell them to stop doing something because they're hurting you, they're overreacting, they don't know that, all that they know is that they sense a threat and they must help you fight it, they must keep you safe at all costs, even if it's by lashing out at anything and everything including you. Had they known, if you could only tell them, they'd stop, because they love you, and they don't want to hurt you, they want to keep you safe. They're just cells, they don't know much, and there's not much direct communication of words between the brain and the body, but "you're hurting me as a cell" is not something that it can tell them.
And I'm sorry but doesn't that sound like fear? Complex human animal fear? The lashing out? The love? They don't know they're hurting you, they're Determined not to, that's exactly why they're attacking, so no harm comes to you. It's mistaken, but it loves you no less, it's because it loves you that it's trying so hard.
Your brain is So scared, and it loves you, and that is all it knows. And you must reach out, and hold its hand, and in holding it, that is love, and in being scared, that is love.
No matter what you put your body through it still cares about you, no matter how many times you pick a scab it will Always heal, no matter how long you go without food your body will still try to keep you running, no matter how little sleep, or exercise, no matter how much stress, there is no concept of punishment in the body, all it knows is how to care for you, love you, and that's what it's always done. You can binge alcohol til the day you die, your liver won't hate you for it, your liver won't stop working out of spite, it'll stop working because it Was working so Hard to keep you kicking. It doesn't understand the complexities of your human nature and why you keep drinking, why there's so much consistent alcohol in the body, all it does is love you, and keep you alive, because it loves you, and you are home to it, why would it ever willingly stop?
Your brain invents ten thousand strange ways to keep you safe because it loves you, your heart never stops beating willingly because it loves you, your hands flinch away from open fire and pain because they love you, your nerves love you, your muscles love you, your bones love you, they don't care about anything else. And that's what my entire belief hinges on, the consistent, undeniable love in and of everything around us.
The stars love you, because you love them, and you are the stars, because they are you, and you are the universe, because you are her and she is you, and in loving her you love yourself, and in loving yourself you love her.
In the grand scheme of things, there's no meaningful difference between you and an ant, or a rock, or sound waves or a cloud or the living, breathing earth beneath your feet. You're all equally So beautiful.
Of course, in a burning building, you'd choose to save someone of your own kind, instead of another, and that's okay, it's normal, the ant would choose to as well.
You're different, but you're not, you look different, but you are both carbon based lifeforms, you are both atoms that have been here since the start of your existence, and in that you are the exact same, and not much if at all different.
You're you, and they're them, and you're them and they're you and that's how it's always been and that's how it will always be.
You are yourselves again and again and again, because that is your nature, that is your nature to exist and to love and in that be loved, because in loving each other, you love yourselves, because you are the exact same.
Since the dawn of the existence of the word, no one has been able to pinpoint exactly what love is, whole philosophical debacles and debates and meetings and questions and no one can agree on it, and I can't tell you any more than them what exactly love is, but i can tell you that you'll know it when you see it.
Your cells love moving and your body loves breathing, because you keep doing it, your heart loves to beat and the ant loves to work and the bee loves to fly and the pigeon loves to eat, and the animals love to hunt and the deer love to graze and the rabbits love to run and the clouds love to form, they love to dissipate, because they love becoming rain, and thunder, and water and snow, because they love coming back again and again, because they love it, they love it, and they love you, and you love them.
Love Is. Love simply is, and it's everywhere, and it's in everything, it Is everything, because you try not to step on ants, because you suffocate another animal to keep yourself alive, because your body is failing and your heart still tries, your body still tries, because if it didn't even try, it couldn't even fail, and because you build a nest again and again and refuse to give up, and the branches love being built into nests, and the grass, and the weeds and the flowers and the seeds love to be eaten, they love to sprout, they love existing in general because it means they are here, and there is nothing less beautiful than that.
Your life is not worth more than any other living thing. Your life is not worth less than any other living being.
Your life is worth what everything else is worth. Your life has the same value of an ant's and an elephant's, and your life is worth a rock, and a cloud, and a tree, and the space between planets, that is what your life is worth, your life is worth exactly everything.
When it comes down to it, you are no less or more complex than an ant, because it can do so much you can't, and you can do so much it can't, and that makes you the exact same.
You can make buildings, but you can't make a web the way that a spider can.
They can make their nests, but they can't cook like you can.
You are all a sphere, there is no middle, there is no top, there is no hierarchy to the worth of your being, you are all next to each other, and you are all the same, and you are all so equally important.
You can run, but you can't do it like a gazelle. And you can hunt, but you can't do it like a tiger. And you can fly, but you can't do it like a bird. You are all so equal and you are all so loving down to your very core, down to your first atom, because that's what you exist to do, you're here to love, in every meaning and every way of that word, in the infinite ways that everything can love, you are here to do, and you will do all of them.
You can love your food, you can love your sleep, you can love life and love dying and you can love everything in a million different distinct ways and they will all still be love in the end, because it doesn't have a single way to be, love is everything, love Is Everything.
I don't think death will be cruel. Death cannot be cruel, death loves you, it wants you back, and I'm not scared. I'm excited to die, I'm so so excited to know what it is like, and i can't wait to meet her, to hold her hand, to gaze and to touch her vast emptiness of space and feel exactly how cold she is, how warm how hot.
The universe loves you, she wants you back, that's why you die. And she's not a she or a he or a they or anything singularly specific, because she is you, and she is your dog and cat, and she is your trees and your emotions pumped through your body; your feelings are chemicals, that doesn't make them any less real or emotional, it doesn't make them any less a feeling. You are her and she is you and you love her and she loves you and you look at her and see everything and she looks at you and sees everything.
And you look at her and you love everything, and she looks at you and she loves everything. And in existing yourselves you exist as each other, and in loving being alive, and in loving death, and in loving being, you exist, you exist, and that is so beautiful and rare.
I will not come back human. I don't know about reincarnation in the human living sense, in coming back as something alive, but i do know about reincarnation in the sense of coming back as Something. Because I can't come back, because i never left, because I've always been here, and i will Always be here, and that is where we begin, and that is where we will end.
Never could an ending be so cruel as to give you a hell, never, she can love you so much, why would she make you a hell? Humans love stories, ants love stories, clouds love stories, that's why they form. You're all so complex as each other, the ant feels emotions just as you do, they may look different, and smell different, and appear different in a microscopic lab, but they are no less emotions, it is no less intelligence, it is no more and no less an emotion than yours, a rock is no less and no more intelligent than you are, it is not an insult, a comparison to yourself is not an insult, it is simply a being.
Never could an ending be so cruel as to give you a hell. You are her, and she is you, and you will simply be in a different place, a different time, the rock is you because you are you, and in that, you are everything, your atoms are her atoms, and you can come back to something different when you die, but you will have never have even left. You've always been here, always, always.
I'm not scared of dying. I don't Want to die yet, because she is still so beautiful, and being human, being Me, it is still so rare and precious, and i will never be me again, and i must experience her and experience myself; they are the same thing. And i must love her and let her love me before i come back. Everything can seem so complex, and it is, and everything can seem so simple, and it is, and that is what we are, we are love, we love, we are loved, because we are here, and we have always been here, and we will always be.
Death will be gentle. She will be beautiful. And she will be Beautiful. I can't wait to go back, but i can wait.
The universe is so playful, in her coincidences and in her stars, and in her grass patch that looks like a bear and galaxy that looks like a question mark, and in her clouds that look like shapes and her deja vu of loving you again and again, and in her "tempting of fate" and in her friends who think the same thing at the same time again and again and again, and in her prophetic dreams and in her preparations for the cruelty of herself, and in her preparations for the loving of herself. We come out the womb screaming and she laughs, because she loves us, and she is the one screaming, and we are the ones laughing, and we are all so Beautiful.
She's playful in her hearts that she shows me, in her picks and prods that hurt, but spared me an even greater hurt, and i look back at her and wonder, oh did you intend this, love? And she says yes, yes, yes, she echoes, i love you, love, i intend it again.
Never could an ending be so cruel. I avoid stepping on ants, i try not to kill the grass, i love the animals and i feed them if i can. I love my art and i love my music and i love my hate and i love my love, I feel my guilt, and my sorrow, and my anger and my resentment, because they are all still love in the end, the chemicals are love, my cells are love, a body is love, and my shoes are love, and my coat is love, and my hair is love, and my eyelashes are love, and my everything is love, and her everything is love, because we are love, because we are loved, because we are loved.
I will never be me again, but i will always be myself. I go to hug her and I'm hugging myself. And i look at the most innocuous of things and feel this aching aching Love, a shampoo bottle, wet cement, a tree, and i know, you and i were the same thing once upon a time, you and i were one, and we will be the same again.
There is love in everything around you, everything around you Is love, and you never have to name love, because it has only one name, and the tens of thousands of faces, and they are all love.
You don't even have to let yourself see it. Love is in the back of your eyelids. Love is in the touch of your hand. Love is in the movement of your flesh. And the spinning of your web. And your cloning in a wet damp environment. Love is in your single cell. Love is in your chalkboard and your plastic, and love is in your metal and wood. Love is in your cold air, and your hair standing, because it loves you. Love is there. You Are love. You are Loved. And you can see it.
I said I wouldn’t watch Euphoria but after having the entire season 2 spoiled on tiktok I decided to watch it for context- assuming I wouldn’t be able to relate to a single character- but alas- Lexi Howard exists 😐
One of my earliest memories is standing in line with my dad, I was 3 or 4. The man in front of us turned around, saw me, and turned to my dad and goes "you have a beautiful daughter." My dad's reply was, "thanks but that's my son."
In a book, we would call this foreshadowing for when I was 14 and started wearing skirts
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