#atla crack

[wileycap]

I think the most hilarious place to put Post-Canon Sokka would have been the university at Ba Sing Se. I think he would have made a great unhinged professor. Also, in true Sokka fashion, he should have completely dodged fame. Momo is more famous than he is.

He wants to demonstrate to the class how this thing called electricity works, so he's going to be bringing in a Firebender, so everybody be cool, we're all friends here... and in walks Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. One-time conqueror of the city. One of the students is currently writing an essay on how her brief rule of the city affected fruit trade. She says she considers the class to still be her subjects as she doesn't acknowledge any pretenders to any of her thrones, but for now you're exempted from bowing and "Your Highness" will do. It's a really interesting lecture.

"Okay, guys - hey, listen up, everyone - I won't be here next week, me and Aang are going to-" yeah right, sure, Professor Sokka knows the Avatar. Except, of course, the Avatar walks in sheepishly and says that Appa might have gotten into Sokka's hybrid crops, and then you all have to sit there and watch your professor chase the Avatar around with a sword.

One postgrad student is specializing in Water Tribe Cultures. She's currently studying the massive cultural shift that happened in the Northern Water Tribe at the end of the war - oh, and Professor, I absolutely know that you're from the Southern Water Tribe, but it's just that the shift started with Master Katara, and of course I don't think that every person from the South knows one another haha it's just that I need to ask her some questions and I thought maybe you could help me write a letter or write a letter of introduction or...

Sokka looks at her blankly and goes "yeah, she's my sister. KATARA!" which is followed by a faint answering "fuck you!" from Somewhere and to the horror/elation of our postgrad, Master Katara bursts in and is promptly beaned in the head with a rock by Professor Sokka. Her brother. her hero and her professor are siblings and currently brawling on the floor.

Sokka does not teach or study history, but he does sometimes sit in on lectures about recent history. Whenever he does, several doctoral students flock in to sit near him (even if it's an intro course) so that they can eavesdrop on his grumbling. (No matter how they try, an "overheard utterance" is not a valid source according to their professors. No, we have no sources on the Avatar's bison taking part in combat - sky bison are not war animals and...)

He gets regular deliveries with the Beifong family crest on them, and he goes "sweet, Toph must have found some new minerals" and at this point nobody needs to ask which Toph. He seems to have friends everywhere, literally everywhere. Wang was headed out to this massive swamp to study if it's one big organism, and Sokka told him to find some guy named Hue and "don't mind the loincloth." One time the university gets shut down because the Earth King wants to visit. Oh, visit the University? What an honor- Of fucking course not, he wants to visit Professor Sokka, who yells at him and his royal guards for interrupting his day. The Earth King and his many, many royal guards then sheepishly say sorry and file out.

The last straw is when - not a week after he yelled at the Earth King - the assistant head of the Political Science dept walks in to the faculty lounge to find Sokka having tea with a nice normal man dressed in Earth greens for once, and can't resist a little joke. "Let me guess, you're having tea with the Fire Lord." And then she can instantly tell that she fucked up, because both of them go stock still.

So when the two men awkwardly stand up and proceed to introduce the Fire Lord whose portrait she has in her office because she is the assistant head of Political Science as Li, a server at the Jasmine Dragon, she just says "hello Li" and leaves to find a bottle of something strong.

[pandaofsecrets]

I know Katara isn't a firebender and Azula technically threw the match the moment she decided to take a cheap shot at her, but Katara being the one to finally restrain Azula could honestly serve as a basis for a crack AU where, because of how the rules of the Agni Kai work, it's Katara who technically won the crown.

Yeah, you all heard of Fire Lady Katara, now get ready for Fire Lord Katara.

[j3t-blue]

zuko absolutely sees katara as the little sister azula could've been if not for their dad, but does not understand how to be a big brother in a way that isn't encouraging murder (see the southern raiders ep). katara refuses to acknowledge that she has a second big brother, but does admittedly appreciate having someone in her corner to encourage her more... destructive feelings

less than a month after zuko's been crowned firelord, the very day after katara's declared him healed, she marches into his war room (which someone really should rename, given that they're trying to end the war) and challenges him to an agni kai. she refuses to give any reason, just storms back out of the room.

the fire sages are all terrified and expecting zuko to redeclare war upon the southern water tribe. they're not expecting zuko to just sigh long-sufferingly and ask someone to make sure his schedule is cleared for sunset, because that's the most fair time for them to fight in terms of celestial boosts (zuko thinks this is normal sibling behaviour, no-one is going to correct him on this).

zuko's council realise that yes, he does intend on fighting Master Katara, the last southern waterbender, the very woman who defeated (at the time) Crown Princess Azula on the day that she was at her most powerful, and instead of having to undo all of their 'we're ending the war' decrees, they have to convince the firelord that fighting Master Katara, the last southern waterbender, the very woman who defeated (at the time) Crown Princess Azula on the day that she was at her most powerful is a terrible idea, particularly given that he was pissing blood a month ago.

zuko's not listening, cause obviously she isn't going to actually hurt him. probably. actually, she did once say that if he did anything she didn't like she would kill him- oh fuck has he somehow done something to piss katara off? oh well, only way to find out is to fight her

(the actual reason katara has challenged him to an agni kai is because she is bored shitless, and no-one is letting her into the meeting rooms where they're discussing reparations, which is stupid because she is LITERALLY THE LAST SOUTHERN WATER BENDER, she deserves to be reparated, and also a little bit cause she's mad at him for jumping in front of a lightning bolt that he definitely knew he could not redirect in a stupid attempt to save her life)

when reason clearly isn't working, the fire sages switch to telling zuko 'sorry bro you can't fight her, an agni kai is just between two firebenders’. this stops zuko for a good five minutes (it would’ve stopped him for a lot longer but he went to talk to azula about it (because she’s the person he knows who is best at agni kai’s, and she is also a scary, overpowered little sister, and because he wants to do right by azula and fix their bond) and she laughed at him and then told him 'you are the imposter that the peasantry is worshipping as their fire lord, just change the law')

zuko returns to the war room, where all of his council are trying to make contingency plans for if the scary little waterbending girl beats their last remaining candidate for firelord, and tells them 'new rule, anyone can challenge the fire lord to an agni kai', which is not at all what azula meant as is also an astronomically stupid idea.

an astronomically stupid idea that leads to katara challenging him to an agni kai whenever he pisses her off, which is at least twice for every visit she makes to the palace. (toph hears about this and joins in (she challenges him every time ty lee feels that the 'aura of the palace is misguided') which then obviously leads to sokka doing the same (whenever he's hungry). the fire sages are really mad about this because it's disrespecting and diminishing agni's will or whatever. zuko decides that he doesn't care, because it's changing the public atmosphere around agni kai's and they're becoming far less common due to the childish association with them)

after a year as fire lord, zuko is clinging to the fact that he managed to beat zhao. which is, objectively, a really sad and embarrassing thing to be proud of, but, oh well.

(the day that azula gets discharged, katara sends her a letter scheduling an agni kai with her for 'whenever you feel up for it. that is not a dig. i just don't want to fight you unless i'm fighting you at your best'. zuko is terrified by this prospect, azula is ecstatic. they both decide zuko is not allowed to be present and send him away to ba sing se or somewhere (the fire sages are deeply offended on zuko's behalf. he doesn't give a damn, because he knows that the two of them could absolutely force him out of the palace and he doesn't want to deal with that). he returns two days later to find that azula and katara are best friends and azula's given katara the secret stash of southern water bending scrolls that the fire nation kept hidden because 'it's not fair to fight you at a disadvantage either'. zuko returns to ba sing se and spends a week trying to find a way to break to sokka that their little sisters are friends now and might be trying to overthrow him.)

[lurukifennecfox]

i want more Zuko & Bato stuff

what if Zuko got separated from his crew and ended up at the abbey at the same time Bato was staying there? and after the nuns fail at keeping them separate Zuko decides to help make good burn salve because while he might be the enemy holy shit that's the man's whole arm

we may even go a little further into canon divergence and say Zuko has been stewing in treasonous thoughts for a while and now that he can't distract himself with avatar hunting... -do you think we could've been friends?-

it's probably gonna blow up in his face when the avatar does show up though. how? no idea

[artdigi]

toph and zuko be drooling over the hot guys together

zuko (le oblivious bisexual) be describing how the guy looks and toph be describing what she senses abt him and both shamelessly drooling and stuff

meanwhile,the rest of the gaang: W T F

[zutarawasrobbed]

After the first meeting

Zuko: So… What do you think of Mai?

Ursa: …

Zuko: Mom?

Ursa: *Looks at Iroh*

Iroh: *Nods*

Ursa: *Sighs* Mai might be your girlfriend, but Katara is your wife.

Iroh: This is true.

June: That’s what I’ve been saying.

Zuko: Where the fuck did you come from?!?!

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

Not gonna lie I did in fact download a family tree app for fanfiction purposes and it is in fact making me go mad with power.

I've already made multiple fan kids, some for ships I don't even really like, and contrived a number of characters onto family trees they definitely aren't part of in canon.

In other news Sokka and Suki's daughter is named Kiyomi, Hama is Katara and Sokka's great aunt through their mom Kya, Hakoda and Malina have an oops baby when Katara and Sokka are in their mid 20s, and Aang is now the secret biological grandchild of Princess Zeisan and is 2nd cousins with Iroh and Ozai.

[stardust948]

Sozin’s Comet AU where Ozai has some strength after Aang removes his bending. He rises to attack from behind but out of nowhere, boomerang returns and knocks him out.