Feb 12, 2018
Who needs snipers when you can use your balls.
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Who needs snipers when you can use your balls.
For DWC: Human Emma explaining gravitation to Solas. Bonus if she provides examples.
For @bearlytolerable and @dadrunkwriting sorry if this little drabble was less sciencey than you were hoping for, but character wise I don’t think Emma would know a lot of the technical and in depth explanations, not about that at least. So I went with a way she could show him that I figured most people in our world would be aware of ;).
Emma crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned back on the corner of his desk. At least he was sitting so she didn’t have to stare up at him as she spoke. She always managed to hold her ground well enough but that didn’t mean it was particularly easy when he was towering over her.
“Solas, why would I lie about this? I’m telling you if you drop a ball of steel and a ball of wood that are the same size they will both land at the same time.”He gave that huff of indignation he did so well, “That is preposterous. You are… what is the term you use? Pulling my leg.”
“It’s gravity.”
“You can make up as many words as you like—”“Ugh, I am not making up words. If I were to jump down from where Dorian is—”
“Why would you—”“I wouldn’t just… I’m giving you an example. So, shut it.” She waited to see if he would resist but he simply leaned back in his chair, steepling his hands before giving her a nod. “If I jumped from where Dorian is I would fall and land here right? I would not simply float, correct?”
She paused and when he didn’t speak she raised a brow. He copied her expression before saying, “Oh I apologize, I thought I was to shut it.”
“You. are. Impossible.” She straightened and started out of the rotunda. “I’m going to talk to Ivy before this turns into a thing.”
There was no more talk of it until several days later, at which point she had completely forgotten the conversation. Emma was out working in the herb garden when a shadow fell over her. She looked up, covering her eyes with her hand, to find the familiar lank of Solas looking proud of himself.
“What’s with the—”
“I have the balls.”
She paused, tilted her head, “I’m sorry, you have the what now?”
“Your balls so that you may show me this theory of yours.”“My… what?”
The smile fell and his brows furrowed, “You have forgotten already? One wood and one steel. This thing you were talking about… gravity, was it?”
“Ooohhhh,” Understanding dawned on her and she stood, wiping the dirt on her leggings, “You actually had them made?”
“Yes.”
She couldn’t help when the corners of her mouth twitched up, “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Come, let’s find somewhere to drop them where we won’t hit someone in the head.”
They found themselves up on Skyhold’s fortress walls in a corner without any traffic. They would go unobserved and not risk hitting anyone in the process. Solas glanced down as he felt the weight of the balls in his hands.
“You want to drop them or shall I? Either way it is key they are dropped at the same time.”
His eyes came up to meet hers and he smirked, “What shall we wager?”
She laughed and shifted putting a hand on her hip, “Oh I don’t think you want to do that on this one.”
“I believe I do.” He played at thinking on it for a moment before he said, “Loser will be bound and winner may do what they wish to them tonight.”She raised a brow, “You want to tie me up? Or do you want to be tied up? Either way, this seems like it is a wager where we both win no matter.”He continued to smirk, but his attention shifted to look down at the ground below, “It is agreed then?”“I agree. Are you dropping them then?”“Why? Would you rather my balls be in your hands?”
At least she managed to keep the giggle down that threatened to bubble out, “This is science and should be taken seriously, now get to it.”
“Eager to lose are you?”
“No. Eager to win actually. Then I can have my way with your balls as much as I like.”
A chuckle as he held both hands out over the edge, “Impatient, woman. On the count of three then?”
“Very well, one. Two. Three.”
He opened both hands at the same time and they both watched as the two balls fell to the earth. At the same speed. Directly next to each other. Until they both fell into the dirt giving out little puffs into the air on impact. At the same time, as she knew they would.
“Well,” a pause, “that was… unexpected.”He was looking down at the ground still and she reached out. Her fingers brushing along his jaw and forcing him to look at her, “Tell me Solas. Should I use leather bindings or silk?”
Jk Idc if you got cream. 🎃
We need to count the amount of ball jokes in Buddy System because I already feel like this is gonna get out of hand.
im going to finish my first plush tomorrow and no matter how shitty it will look i will cherish it forever as a symbol of perseverance and learning
INTP, INTJ: On the Subject of Ball Jokes
(During a casual volleyball game at school, INTJ grabs the ball right as it's about to hit them in the crotch. They pass the ball to the server after a moment of surprise.)
INTJ: well that was...uncomfortable.
INTP: adding another ball to the collection, I see.
INTJ: *completely unfazed by INTP's constant sex jokes by this point* yeah, basically.
Happy Halloween!
*Insert about 10,000 ball jokes here*