the twin conundrum
I wrote this in like 20 minutes and it’s all @battlehamster‘s fault.
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“Remus.” Regulus’s head appears in the fireplace, making Remus jump. “I need you over at the Manor. Quickly, please.”
Remus doesn’t hesitate, grabbing his cloak and his wand and hurrying through the Floo after Regulus. Sirius is supposed to be picking up Teddy from the Manor right now. James and Regulus had agreed to watch their boy for the day while Sirius worked a shift at St. Mungo’s and Remus put together his lesson plans for the coming semester. If Regulus is calling him now, then something has gone horribly wrong.
Not to mention the fact that Regulus never calls him by his given name. He’s always Lupin to his brother-in-law.
James is there to greet him when he comes stumbling through the fireplace, offering him a hand to steady him. Remus glances around the room, and warm relief rushes through him when he spots Sirius on the couch. Sirius gives him a tiny smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“What’s going on?” Remus demands. “What’s happened?”
It’s then that he notices that Regulus is holding Harry… and so is Sirius.
Remus blinks several times. No, his eyes are not playing tricks on him. There are two Harrys in the room, and not a sign of Teddy.
Oh, dear.
“I see,” he says. “Teddy, change back, please.”
He addresses the child in Sirius’s arms, who protests, “But I’m Harry!”
“Yeah!” says the child that Regulus holds. “Me, too!”
Remus pinches the bridge of his nose. “Boys, this isn’t funny. It’s time for Teddy to go home. He’ll be back here at the weekend, you know that.”
Both Harrys look puzzled. Regulus and Sirius both appear faintly annoyed, but James seems to be on the verge of tears.
“I need some tea,” Remus declares, “and then we can settle this properly. James, give me a hand?”
He forcibly steers James into the kitchen and props him against the countertop. “Right, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t tell them apart,” James says in a rush. “I’m his dad, I love him more than anything, and I can’t tell you which of those boys is my son!”
“Neither can Sirius or Regulus, and they love Harry and Teddy just as much,” Remus soothes, squeezing James’s arms. “You brought me here to sniff out which was which, yeah?”
“That was the idea.” James rubs the back of his hand under his nose. “Can you do it?”
“Yes, of course.”
They return to the sitting room. Remus plucks the child from Sirius’s arms and gives him a good sniff--the toddler giggles as Remus inadvertently tickles him. Remus does the same for the child in Regulus’s arms, and then wrinkles his nose.
“What on Earth did you have them doing today?” he demands of James and Regulus. “They both reek.”
James flushes, and even Regulus looks a bit sheepish. “Er… we might have gone flying. And gone to the park. And jumped in some mud puddles.”
“That’s what I thought,” Remus says, exasperated. “I can’t tell the two of them apart when they’re like this. They’ll both need to be bathed before I can figure it out.”
James holds out his arms for one of the Harrys, and Sirius hands him over. “Right. We’ll get these two menaces cleaned up. Back soon!”
He and Regulus hurry off with the boys. Sirius gets up from the couch and comes over to Remus.
“You know which one is Teddy, don’t you?” he says.
“Oh, yeah. James was holding him.” Remus shrugs. “This means we don’t have to do bath time tonight.”
Sirius grins. “You sneaky bastard.”
“That’s why you love me.”
