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Tonight is having a lot of feelings.

I'm thinking about Di Feisheng, a slave, an helpless child only taught how to kill. Starved, controlled, abused... He escaped that fate and did everything in his power to never have to run again. He must become the number one, he must be the strongest, he must be sure nobody will ever be able to control him, to make him feel that helpless, ever again. He must survive, and more than that, he must thrive, he must be so strong to be able to go back and put an end to the abuse forever.

That's how he shaped his inner force, that's how he shaped his very person, and that's the reason why he founded the Jinyuan Alliance.

And in that very same sect we find Jiao Liqiao. She loves him, but it's an obsessive love. She wants to own him, to be the only one for him, and her very love is caged by control: she controls his reactions and manipulates him, she controls who he's in contact with, his actions, his wants...

And in the end, when she finally realises she won't ever have that same obsessive love for herself, she wants to control all of him. She takes his strength away and puts him in a cage.

And that kind of love is so, so, so incredibly different from the one we witness, blatantly obvious, between Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua.

They start as equals, and never stop to see each other as such.

Li Xiangyi is the only one strong just as much as Di Feisheng is, and that's the first thing that brings them together. In a way, they're similar: they were helpless children, starving, at the bottom of society. And now they're the two strongest fighters in the Jianghu.

They're also different, as their inner power itself mirrors: where Di Feisheng must survive under any circumstances and clawed his way to the top, Li Xiangyi has been nourished and loved and decided to put stability and strength in his meridians to always carry with him.

(And in the end of the story, they teach each other this: Di Feisheng is able to fight stronger than ever thanks to the stability Li Lianhua teaches him, and Li Lianhua finds strength to win even when he's at the end of the line, thanks to what Di Feisheng teaches him. It's beautiful)

They clash when they're young, and when they meet ten years later everything is different, yet everything is the same.

Di Feisheng spent ten years in the past, unable to move on, obsessing over Li Xiangyi, the only equal for him in the whole world.

Li Lianhua spent ten years shaping himself to be the most different possible from Li Xiangyi. He grows plants. He gives himself a simple purpose, a straight line that will bring him to death, a road he wants to walk peacefully as a ghost. He's no hero, he's a sly fox. He's a carefree doctor who only follows his mood. He has a dog and a moving house, he's unbounded, unreachable, and can never stop running.

After they meet again, Di Feisheng is initially disappointed: Li Lianhua talks about cooking, about a peaceful, uneventful life, about being already dead and not caring about anything. Where is his equal? Where is the shining star he couldn't help but feel attracted to?

But then... he starts to see it again. It's different, yet the same: Li Lianhua is a sly fox, he's sharp, quick, determined. He may not care about the Sigu Sect, but he cares about Fang Duobing. He may be a "coward", but his determination to keep living how he decided is admirable. He still shines, but it's kind of light you miss if you're not paying attention.

And he's still the only one who truly understands Di Feisheng: he knows him better than anybody ever did. He knows Di Feisheng doesn't hurt women, and didn't even consider it could have been him ordering Jiao Liqiao to poison Qiao Wanmian. He knows he'll never know peace until he arrives at the bottom of things, and trusts him to understand who's the real villain behind everything. He knows he doesn't accept threats, he knows he's cruel and direct and has no patience for fools. He knows his dry humour. He knows he will always keep his promises, no matter what, so he trusts him to go looking for him once his investigation is over. He knows him so damn well, he never thinks, not even for a second, that Di Feisheng betrayed him, even after seeing him with Shan Gudao.

They see each other, they understand each other, they're the only ones able to deal with each other, they will always be there for each other, no matter what has been their last confrontation.

Di Feisheng will never let anybody else touch Li Lianhua, Li Lianhua will never let anybody else deal with Di Feisheng.

Knowing Di Feisheng was kept in a cage by Jiao Liqiao and forced to marry her was what made Li Lianhua act to free himself and go rescue him. Knowing Li Lianhua was kept prisoner by Jiao Liqiao and Shan Gudao was the only thing that made Di Feisheng lose his indifferent, cold composure.

And it's a kind of unconditional love that drives me crazy, it's so beautiful it hurts. The trust is so deep nothing has been able to destroy it.

And it has absolutely nothing to do with control. They're equals, no matter if Li Lianhua has no inner power and is dying, he will never stop being Di Feisheng equal.

Di Feisheng says it himself, in the heartbreaking line: "Li Lianhua, nobody will be equal to you in our promises"

(One of the lots of incredible lines he kept saying during the drama)

(I could write more but I feel like I'd be here the whole night then)

It's just...

Them.

Another dress rehearsal photo (and an important one!) with Eleanor Monaghan as Jennyanydots and Sarah Moore as Jellylorum.

Eleanor also shared a photo with Cast 14 Jennyanydots, Jaime Mollineaux, and a zoom in on her wig backstage from the last few weeks.

April 2024.

#CATS Musical #CATS the Musical #CATS RCCL Cast 15 #Jennyanydots #Eleanor Monaghan #Jellylorum #Sarah Moore #CATS RCCL Cast 14 #Jaime Mollineaux #This will be tagged #Jennylorum #Jellydots #Because Them