I hate hate hate hate so much that I cannot remember ANYTHING about my life. I NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHY
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I hate hate hate hate so much that I cannot remember ANYTHING about my life. I NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHY
World Bipolar Day
I hate that I never know if I’m hypomanic or just in a good mood. Same with being depressed or just tired.
dear bipolar disorder,
i try to not let you affect me but the wind you carry is so strong and i’m a tree with weak roots. i fall so easily, i keep falling to the same old cycle. im constantly switching between manic and depressive episodes.
oh mania! oh how i get fooled by you everytime you visit. you constantly fool me into thinking that i’m invincible, that i’m powerful and that i don’t need the meds i’m taking. you steal away my sense of self control when you’re around. you’re addicting, like a drug. when you leave and the warmth of depression wraps around me, i start to crave you more.
depression, oh you big black dog! you also constantly fool me by making me think you’re a sense of comfort. you fill me with the darkest thoughts and so much fear and anxiety but i’m so used to you that i start defining myself by those thoughts.
bipolar, you fucked me up. you took away years from my life. i was never the same ever since you came around but i also no longer recall a life without you.
kind regards,
lisa
How it feels to slip into mania..
Mixed episode (bipolar type 1) & self destructive behaviour starts..... and you just want to FUCK someone. Almost anyone. You just want to fuck until you can’t take it anymore (even though you’re a virgin).
i miss the days where i would sleep for 18 hours straight. consciousness is a prison. mania can choke on my strap.