Mar 4
i’ll let you drag me to hell if it means i’ll be able to hold your hand
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i’ll let you drag me to hell if it means i’ll be able to hold your hand
one day i feel like i’m super pretty and the next day i feel like rat
Isn’t that the entire point of this site
It be like that ig
I watched sunny for the first time at the beginning of my biggest manic episode to date. It was the start of the pandemic, I had just moved into a new apartment, and I locked myself in my room, sat on my mattress on the floor and watched the entire thing in a matter of weeks.
I then proceeded to make a lot of bad choices of the sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll variety. But through it all (for better or worse) those characters were there with me, and for me.
I recently rewatched it all for the first time since then. Years later, now that I’ve gotten the treatment I needed. It’s still the same show, but I’m a different person watching it in a lot of ways. I did questionable things when I was manic. I wasn’t always a good person, and I’m still not sometimes.
The sunny gang are bad people and the show can be quite problematic there’s no denying, but they held up a mirror to a part of myself that will always be there beneath the surface. And in a lot of ways, they saved me. So I guess this is a very long thank you. And a reminder to lean on people and things (fictional or not) that make you feel safe & sane in a life, a world, that is anything but.
30 de Agosto
Me pergunto o que há de errado comigo.
O
Que
Eu
Sou?
Quando amo, amo demais.
Quando odeio, odeio demais.
Quando sinto medo, nem cogito o desafio.
E quando estou triste, parece que estou à beira de um precipício.
Ei, o que há de errado comigo?
Transtorno bipolar.
Dizem que, quando se dá nome às coisas,
tudo fica mais leve.
Mas a bipolaridade sempre deixou tudo tão pesado…
a f u n d a n d o . . .
They say to take everything in because in the blink of an eye everything can fade away
So I try not to blink as much
In hopes I won’t lose time
I’ve lost too much time in the past
What if I blink and it really is gone
I’m not ready for that
I’m not ready at all
i want to be able to see you again without feeling all the pain