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WAIT WAIT. BOURBON IS BACK??? SINCE WHEN?? i’m so lost. is he on tumblr???
Anonymous said:also, i couldn’t find bourbon_neat on reddit😔😔😔 HELP ME
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ASSUMING this is the same anon, you’ll find them on Soundgasm: https://soundgasm.net/u/bourbon_neat
‘I Am the Guy’ - Pt. 1
Author’s Notes: 1. I’m not totally sure what this is, if I’ll continue, etc., but it was inspired by the great #bourbon_neat’s “seducing your best friend’s dad” audios on Soundgasm - Part 1 and Part 2. While I took some creative liberties here, the events that happen in those audios make this story go, and I’ve indicated with an asterisk (*) in the text where they’d fit chronologically, should you want to have a multi-media experience. 2. I’m challenging myself to crank out content in an effort to just shake out the writer rust. This is super unpolished. 3. In the aforementioned audios that inspired this, you’re the main subject. In an effort to keep that immersive element in this drabble, I refer to the corresponding female character as She or Her in bold. It can get confusing, so I decided to go overboard with identification. 4. ENJOY!
________________________
It was the stray volleyball that did it, all those years ago. She was moving in, Kimmie Johnson was walking out, and Her ball fell out of the big box of sports supplies she was lugging into the new digs.
“You play?” Kimmie had asked.
“Yes,” she had said, beaming. “I’m trying out for the team once school starts.”
And that was that. Even though they were freshly 18 and met at a time where friendships fractured after graduation – and hell, She was new in town – the duo spent nearly every waking hour together. Sleepovers, post-volleyball yoga, college applications, just hanging with each other’s families.
She especially took a shine to Kimmie’s dad. His insights about life were interesting, she thought, and he was kind and funny. He asked good questions and seemed to care about her opinions. He was a good guy.
It was something She’d try and remind Kimmie during conversations about the Johnson’s seemingly strained marriage. Kimmie was frustrated that the obvious cracks in her parents’ relationships were brushed under the rug, and that she was kept in the dark on important family matters. As a result, Kimmie would routinely lament her parents and the frigid situation at home.
“Go easy on them. Your dad, especially. It seems like he’s trying,” She’d say.
“Yeah, you’re just saying that because you’ve got the hots for him,” Kimmie spat.
She would just blush. Kimmie was right; She had an awful crush on Kimmie’s handsome, thoughtful father. She hoped Mr. Johnson didn’t notice how often she stared.
___________________________
Soon after, life quickly changed for the girls. Both decided on a gap year, which they had planned to enjoy together. It was not to be.
A month before the end of summer, Kimmie was sad to learn that her friend’s mother became ill and her father was being relocated cross-country for work. As a result, She would be following her family to help around the house, giving them time to find quality in-home care. Then, She’d return back to town to go to the nearby university with Kimmie.
Meanwhile, Kimmie would work the long year of separation at the volleyball clinic, trying to make sense of the newly announced divorce of her parents alone.
Saying goodbye was worse than they anticipated.
“We’ll miss you, kiddo,” Mr. Johnson said when She came by Kimmie’s house to say goodbye. Crying, She’d spent the 15 seconds in his arms realizing that her sadness was not just about leaving Kimmie.
____________________________________
The year passed quickly*, and the two girls were thrilled to be finally reunited and starting their college career together. But the time apart had changed them, and Kimmie especially was disappointed to notice her friend was often distant, busy and distracted.
“I’m seeing someone,” She finally told Kimmie. “And I’m … it’s insane, this connection. He’s gorgeous and kind and thoughtful and wise – ”
“’Wise?’”
“— Yes, wise --- and the sex, I just –“ Her bashfulness kept her from continuing.
“What’s his name?” Kimmie asked.
“His name?” She hesitated. “RJ.”
Kimmie was both excited and wary about the developments, as only a friend who fears being replaced can.
___________________
Those fears were not completely unfounded.
“I’m pregnant and I’m keeping it,” She told Kimmie with wide eyes. She looked strange, her face a holograph; fear, exhilaration, delight, and embarrassment manifested there in turn.
Kimmie could barely hide her despair. It was only a month after the Her confession regarding the mysterious beau. So much for the future of their beloved friendship. Who was this guy? Kimmie hadn’t even met him. Their lives would diverge spectacularly.
“Congrats,” Kimmie said tersely, swallowing all her objections. She looked so happy, joy being the emotion that finally settled on her face. But that didn’t keep Kimmie from stewing. It just was three months to the day that they’d gotten back in town and less than a month from when She had told Kimmie about the existence of RJ. This had all happened so fast.
“He must be some guy,” Kimmie thought.
______________________
“Girl! When am I going to meet this RJ?? You are CARRYING his BABY and you’re nearly seven months along! How is it that your bestie still hasn’t met the father of your child?”
She looked down at her bump, cradled between her two dainty hands. It – along with the rest of her – was weirdly small for someone so far along in their pregnancy.
“I’m just – we’re taking it slow.”
Kimmie snorted, looking pointedly at the crest of Her stomach.
“I know. I guess – I’m enjoying this just being the two of us, for now. Everything got so hard core so suddenly, so I’m just trying to make everything else as uncomplicated as possible,” She replied.
“How is me meeting RJ complicated? I want to meet him. You’re my best friend. If our relationship is going to continue – and it will, it has to – I need to know the guy who knocked you up. It’s important to me.”
She bit her lip, thinking.
“Why does she look so nervous?” Kimmie wondered.
“Ok. You’re right. Next week, let’s meet at that restaurant your dad always takes us to. The one with the great Rueben? I’ve been craving one like crazy.”
Kimmie smiled, relieved. “Portside. Sure! Next week. Text me the time that works for you. I’m excited.”
She, on the other hand, looked terrified.
_________________
Kimmie checked her phone again.
“Where is She?” Kimmie wondered. “She’s never – ”
Kimmie’s thoughts were obliterated by the sudden appearance of her best friend. At least, that’s who she thought it was.
It had been a week. Just seven days. And in that time, her friend’s body had completely bloomed. Being pregnant, that was hardly a total shock, but the swiftness of the change was startling – especially considering that She had, until recently, been carrying so small.
“Act normal,” Kimmie told herself, rearranging her face to as neutral an expression she could muster. It took effort, and Kimmie was glad She noticed her yet; it allowed Kimmie the extra time she needed to fully observe the extent of her friend’s transformation.
There was the belly, of course, which had popped so powerfully that Her spine curved to accommodate its girth. It had become so conspicuous that Kimmie wagered had she not known who this woman was, she would assume She was due any day. Indeed, Her hips, legs and ass had ballooned proportionate to Her core, demolishing the girl’s (once enviable) hourglass figure and replacing it with pronounced pear shape.
“She already looks like a mom,” Kimmie thought to herself.
Those weren’t the only changes, Kimmie noticed to her disappointment. Jutting out from the apex of her friend’s stomach was the outline of Her fully popped navel, thick and rubbery like a third nipple under Her swollen fingers.
Speaking of nipples, Her breasts had blossomed into massive, milky teats at least two cups bigger than her typical size. Even though Kimmie could see the outlines of a bra underneath Her clothes, it did little to conceal Her hulking nipples, newly elongated and stout like bottle caps on Her chest. There was an ache-y neediness about them; to Kimmie, they screamed, “suck me dry, they’re so heavy it HURTS.”
Her heavy waddle – which She did NOT have to resort to when Kimmie had seen her just those seven short days ago – was a co-conspirator with Her attire in making Her look completely wanton. Every jiggle of her massive tits; every breath that stretched her belly; every shake of her thigh and ass; every step of her swollen feet in strappy sandals; every line of her heavy-duty bra and tiny lacey thong was given a spotlight by the forward thrust of her gait and the skin-tight pencil dress that somehow made it up and over the collection of globes that was once Her body. It didn’t help that moving required the forward thrust of her monstrous core, requiring her to splay her hips forward and balance a hand on the small of her back, a swollen rudder for her ripened form.
“Why is she WEARING that?” Kimmie thought to herself, willing herself not to blush with the secondhand embarrassment.
It was then that She finally noticed Kimmie, her bloated face contorting into a nervous smile.
______________________
After having to move their seats from a booth to a table (She couldn’t fit), waiting through Her three bathroom runs, and ordering an ungodly amount of food (“I’m eating for two, you know,” She had wryly, with shy pat of her tummy), She and Kimmie were finally settled.
“So! I can’t wait to finally meet this guy. RJ! Finally!” Kimmie said, trying her best to normalize their conversation. She was met with silence.
“Um – you ok? Still glad you’re gonna be a baby momma? That dress sure doesn’t make it seem that way.”
“I know, right? RJ, he’s particular. He asked me to wear it today, otherwise I’d be in something elastic and stretchy and that lets me breatheeeee.” She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I mean, I’m huge now. It happened overnight. And it’s a strain on me, in a lot of ways, and the baby shit is happening quicker than I had planned. I mean, I’m a freshman in college, for fuck’s sake.”
She was babbling.
“But this guy – RJ – he’s the love of my life and Kimmie, I want you to know that I -- ”
Kimmie was suddenly distracted from Her ramblings by a familiar figure waving and quickly approaching the table.
“This must be him,” she thought, only to realize with surprise it was her father, Randy. He hadn’t told her he was ordering out for lunch today. “He could’ve at least asked me if I wanted anything!”
“Dad! Hey! What are you doing here?” Kmmie said with a smile. “I’m about to meet the boyfriend. The one who She’s having the baby with! I told you She was pregnant, remember?”
He grinned, sheepishly, taking a seat at the table.
“That’s why I’m here, actually.”
Randy’s hope that his daughter would put two and two together quickly was immediately dashed.
“Oh? You … know the guy, or …?”
He swallowed a nervous laugh as he reached out his hands – one to clasp Her’s, the other to place possessively on her ponderous belly.
“Kimmie honey, I am the guy,” he said.
hey anyone else remember when i was being unapologetically horny on main?
this is for that anon who also was squealing over bourbon_neat with me because I found a podcast he guested on and I think I legit fell in love with him he’s so wonderful and sweet and hilarious and oh my god anyway here you go they also talk about nsfw stuff obviously enjoy~
some time in the past month or so since i last checked, Bourbon has posted not one, but two fucking audios and i am Truly Blessed
Hey :)) I’ve been listening to bourbon_neat for around 2 years now and slightly getting a little bored of listening to the same audio over and over. Has anyone found any more users of soundgasm that sound like kylo? Also there used to be this user called everdistant_utopia who had a voice that sounded EXACTLY like kylo but his account disappeared, does anyone have any saved audios by any chance?
I saw on one of Kat’s post something about....hugepython...? Might be worth checking out
wait how did the ambon find out that Bourbon_neat was back?
Anonymous said:everdistant deleted his audios
Anonymous said:Everdistant utopia's stuff is all gone. bourbon neat has just kind of not posted for a bit. But. he recently came back with an EXCELLENT audio (great for alpha!kylo fans) that's like ddlg-ish and very much about him getting the listener pregnant. And by the way he's been replying to comments, it seems like he's back. that's the rundown as far as I know.
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Oh sweet! Yeah I went to his page to grab the link and saw he was on some sort of hiatus but it looks like he’s back in the saddle! I’m so happy for him!
(And thanks for the updates guys!)
hello, so i hear a lot about bourbon_neat on this blog and i was just wondering, where can i listen to them?
That would be Soundgasm.net! Assuming he still makes posts (I haven’t checked in a hot minute)
Holy hell... finally followed this page and found bourbon_neat because of it... suddenly very inspired to write fanfics again *nosebleed*
oh YES we LOVE boubon_neat. Nothing gets the juices flowing like listening to his voice on your headphones in the local Starbucks
